We’re #1 on Amazon!

I am so, so excited I don’t even know where to start.

This has been the most amazing month of my creative and professional life.

I know I’m only supposed to talk about my children’s fiction and parenting work here, but I’ve been working furiously on a passion project for the last few months, and since we hit a big milestone last week, I really wanted to share.

We’ve been working on this since mid-summer, and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had as a “grown up writer,” by far.

You may remember my horror novel, Available Darkness, co-authored by David Wright. I love that book, and am eager to write the next two chapters in the trilogy with Dave, but it’s nothing like Yesterday’s Gone.

Yesterday’s Gone is more than a book, it’s serialized fiction written specifically for the Kindle and other e-readers; EPIC fiction in bite-sized, hundred page chunks, released each week.

We designed the serial from the television templates we both love so much: LOST, Dexter, 24, The Sopranos; shows you can’t stop watching, and can’t wait to gobble up the next time they come on.

I grew up on copious amounts of Stephen King. This project made me feel like I was writing a Stephen King serial. Yesterday’s Gone is definitely not for kids. As funny as some of the sequences are, overall it’s midnight black – post-apocalyptic fiction at its best.

After just one month’s worth of promotion, Yesterday’s Gone is now the #1 free horror download on all Amazon, and #32 for ALL free downloads.

WOW.

Last week we watched the pilot episode (which is FREE!) drop from the high 1,800‘s, all the way down to a high at #31 for all free downloads, and #1 for horror (though it’s not really horror at all).

I would love, love, LOVE it if you could help me keep this fire crackling. There are three ways to help.

Download the free version of Yesterday’s Gone.
Buy the full season of Yesterday’s Gone.
Share this post.

The very best thing you can do, by far, and what will make me smile from ear to ear and remember you forever, is to buy Season One, then leave an honest review on Amazon.

Reviews are hard to come by, yet they mean everything to a budding author. Without all the 5-Star reviews we’ve earned already, our growth would not have been nearly as explosive last week.

Amazon trusts “verified buyers,” more than regular reviews, so if you’re willing to leave a review, please spend the $4.99 to get the full season. It will be much more meaningful to both us and Amazon.

Here are four trailers to give you a good idea of exactly how awesome Yesterday’s Gone actually is.

(The one at the bottom – “What Would Boricio Do?” is probably my favorite!)

Thanks again! I truly appreciate your help!

Click here to buy Episode I
Click here to buy Season I

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The Now I Won’t Forget

When will I get bigger
I wonder every day
WIll I still like to run and jump
And bound about and play?

Will I still love to Hide-N-Seek
Around with all my friends?
My mom and dad say probably
Though it really all depends

If I remember all the best stuff
Stuffed inside of me
Then I can pull it out
When I’m the person I will be

I must think to always laugh
Whenever something’s funny
And not forget that friends are worth
More than any sum of money

Imagination is a gift
That never goes away
But only when invited in
I should not send it away

Sharing toys and sharing time
Is what I’ll want to do
If I want to feel fulfilled
With who I grew into

So many days in front of me
Are keeping me a kid
It’s important I prioritize
So do it I just did

The best days of my life
Surely have not happened yet
But they’ll be even better
If the now I don’t forget

Buy Syllable Soup here for just $2.99

Syllable Soup is currently the #1 Children’s Humorous Poetry Book on Kindle!

Hide-N-Seek

When we first moved to Ohio from California, we played hide-n-seek a LOT.

We had to wait for our furniture to arrive. It took six weeks. And when it finally did, it came in pieces, splinters, or missing, which, of course, much of it was.

Completely harrowing, but also pretty cool since for nearly every night of those six weeks, me, Cindy, Haley and Ethan all played empty-house hide-n-seek.

There weren’t many places to hide – just big, open, empty rooms. The only rule we had was that you couldn’t go outside. Even with scant places to stay hidden, the house always echoed with laughter and we had so much fun we could’ve sold tickets.

Ethan could never stay hidden for more than 10 seconds or so. All you had to do was say something funny and he would start laughing. You could actually say “something funny,” and that worked well, but “poop” works best.

It’s been 15 months since we first moved in, and we still play hide-n-seek once or twice a week. Though of course our house is no longer empty, the game is different for other reasons.

A few nights ago we were playing just after dinner. As I was hiding, I thought about how when we first moved in I would always wonder how many times we’d play empty-house hide-n-seek before it wouldn’t be empty house anymore. Our furniture would be here any day, and the charm would certainly thin.

Now I simply wonder how much longer we’ll be playing hide-n-seek, period.

How much longer before spending time with Dad is something my children muscle through before getting to the things they really want to do with their day, like talking to their friends, finding cool stuff on the Internet, or doing things to their hair that will surely embarrass them later.

We’re still in the thick of the time when Ethan and Haley genuinely love spending time with me and Cindy. It’s what they want to do more than anything else.

I’m not dumb enough to believe that will last forever, and am smart enough to treasure the moments as they hit me, with the full knowledge that they’re forever fading. Yet it’s always pronounced when playing hide-n-seek.

No matter who’s counting, as the numbers fall to one, I wonder how many more times I’ll here “ready or not, here I come!” before we’re all four a little less olly-olly-oxen-free.

Children’s Poetry – An Amazing Video

Do you remember Schoolhouse Rock?

I love, love, LOVED Schoolhouse Rock when I was a kid. And by “when I was a kid,” I mean right now.

Wordplay, lessons, music, movement – I loved it all,  even bought a limited edition lunchbox with every song pressed onto a 4 CD set from Rhino Records when I was 24 and didn’t have children. I was married to a teacher, and gave her the box the day I bought it, but that was only an excuse and we both knew it.

Someday, I’d like to create something as amazing as Schoolhouse Rock.

Syllable Soup is my first stab.

I’ve been writing a lot of children’s poems lately, and am thoroughly loving the medium. David and I are putting the finishing touches on our first collection of fairytales this week, which is super exciting.

When he delivered this amazing video for Syllable Soup, it became immediately easier to dream about the many places some of our children’s work will go.

Check out the video, I’d love to hear what you think.

Buy Syllable Soup here for just $2.99

Syllable Soup is currently the #1 Children’s Humorous Poetry Book on Kindle!

There’s Nothing Cute About Baby Talk (But At Least I Don’t Hate It)

I hate baby talk.

Really, really hate it.

With the white-hot heat from a galaxy of stars, hate it.

At least I used to.

There’s nothing cute about baby talk. I’m not talking about the transitional language children use when trying to develop vocabulary.

When Ethan was two, he used the word “bama” for everything he didn’t have a word for yet, much like the blue dudes use the word, “smurf.” Anything Ethan didn’t know or couldn’t pronounce was a bama. Helicopters, for example, were helidabamas.

Temporary language is fine. But saying wittle for little or baba for bottle when you know better, or dropping your voice to an ear splitting pitch, is painful. It’s hyper-obnoxious with adults, and completely misdirected. Children need language, and baby talk isn’t helpful, it’s condescending.

Of course I understand why children do it, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

Both of my children have been baby talking since forever, Haley especially. Ethan does it because he wants to be cool like his big sister, but Haley chews on the baby talk then pats her tummy when done.

I understand her attraction to baby talking – she gets to pretend she’s little – a peanut, as she says. Small enough to fit in Daddy’s arms without the gangle, and tiny enough to never have to clean her room.

Yet, Haley didn’t even baby talk when she was a baby. The girl was using full, flowing, articulate sentences (run-on for the most part, loosely strung together by the word actually, said over and over again) at 18 months. She didn’t start baby talking until kindergarten.

Now, she does it all the time. And it makes me want to !!#$@&$^%@&#@&!#@%#!!.

I get it, and am able to put in its place, but there are definitely days when she just won’t stop. And now she’s added her brother to my nightmare’s soundtrack (he’s doing it more than she is at the moment).

Sometimes I want to hold my face under a pillow as the symphony of infancy sours the silence.

Fortunately, Cindy cured me forever. Sometimes all you need is a constant, an anchor to hold your sanity intact – to give you focus so your eyes don’t blur.

During an explosive round of battle scarred baby talk; lots of bah bah jula mama bee bee pee poo that made me want to !!#$@&$^%@&#@&!#@%#!!, Cindy whispered something in my ear that pulled the splinter from my brain.

At least she’s not talking about boys!

She’s righter than four right turns in a row.

Haley isn’t talking about boys.

Baby talk is just fine by me.

Beauty And The Beast

A merchant and father, without any wife
And three lovely daughters; a wonderful life
“I’m heading to market, some time around dawn
I’ll swallow my coffee, and then I’ll be gone.”

He turned to his daughters, looked each in their eyes
Then smiled and whispered a special surprise:
“While I’m at market I’ll see many things
From pastries and pastas to bracelets and rings

We’ve had a great year, don’t mull over thrift
Each of you tell me what you’d love as a gift.”
The first daughter smiled, “I’d love a new dress
Maybe brocade since this old one’s a mess.”

The next daughter clapped, tickled pale red
“A long string of pearls,” she smiled and said
The last daughter, Belle, her dad’s greatest treasure
Gleaming with glee and pickled with pleasure

She flitted her eyes and pointed her nose:
“I think what I’d love is just one perfect rose!”
“Of course, girls!” he said, “I’ll buy all you desire
Plus plenty of fry bread, pulled right from the fryer

A great day at market, then gifts for his girls:
A flower, a dress, and a string full of pearls
Halfway to home, the sky turned to black
As serpents of lightning began to attack

Lost and alone, shivering and scared
Buckets of rain on a man unprepared
Fortune was fading as day bled to night
But the edge of his vision was hinting at light

The glow gradually grew as he slowly drew near it
It lit the interior of his terrified spirit
His horse giddy-upped at the big iron gate
He pulled on the reigns, told his filly to wait

The castle was massive, the size of a city
Old and abandoned, but no longer pretty
Outside it was wet, inside would be dry
Away from the horror which fell from the sky

The hallways were empty, walls were all large
“Hello!” he called out to the no one in charge
A mile long table was heaping with food
He certainly ate, although nothing was chewed

When his belly was bloated, his body grew beat
So he looked for a place he could get off of his feet
He found a large room and gargantuan bed
Then lay on the pillow and rested his head

He slept like a baby, in seconds was snoring
As buckets outside persisted their pouring
He opened his eyes when the outside was bright
At a beautiful bedroom now flooded with light

He couldn’t believe the amazing display
Pastries and coffee to start a great day
He ate like a king and then wandered around
Through a cavernous castle still empty of sound

He shuffled outside and swallowed real hard
At improbable beauty spread all through the yard
The grounds they were gorgeous – perfume in his nose
His green eyes were glinted toward one perfect rose

It bloomed well beyond beauty, like his baby girl Belle
He plucked it and stared as though under a spell
A bellow behind him, a thundering roar
Scared him inside, and then out of his core

He spun on his heels and his eyes opened wide
He was 10 metric tons of complete terrified
A beast stood before him: half monster, half man
He flew from the frier and into the pan

The demon was savage, a barbarian brute
Even though he was wearing a beautiful suit
His clothes were so splendid, and cape rather regal
He had the mane of a lion, but beak of an eagle

“You ungrateful vermin, you horrible thief!”
The man stood there shaking like a new fallen leaf
“I gave you my food, and surrendered my bed
And you thank me by stealing? I’ll rip off your head!”

“What did I steal?” The merchant man shook
“A rose from my garden, that’s what you took!”
The merchant man fell to the skin of his knees
Then opened his mouth to a shower of pleas

“Forgive me kind sir, I did not know
These roses are gorgeous, the way that they grow
The rose in my hand, it wasn’t for me
But for my daughter Belle, a beauty to see

The rose was for her, I meant no offense
I’m honest and upright,” he swore in defense
The beast placed a paw on the merchant man’s shoulder
Then spit out these words with a simmering smolder

“I’ll spare your life, only on this one term…
I’ll not negotiate, my condition is firm
“Bring me your daughter! That you must give
Then, only then, will I allow you to live

The merchant man nodded, with no other voice
Looking death in the eye left him no other choice
He swung on his horse, the gate swung behind
And he started toward home feeling out of his mind

He stepped in the house, his three daughters worried
Waves of words left his lips, every one of them hurried
He ended his story with a shake of his head
“I was so frightened that I’d end up dead

But worry not, Belle, my beautiful dear
You’ve nothing to fret of and nothing to fear
I won’t allow it to happen. No, not on my life
I’d rather swallow the sharp of a knife.”

Belle eased his mind with her beautiful smile
“Please sit down, Daddy. At least for a while
Then come tomorrow, we’ll get on the horse
And honor your word. I’ll go with you of course

I’d do anything for you, even stay in your place.”
Dad had to weep at Belle’s innocent face
Scared from her mind, Belle held her head strong
Through a ride through the forest, impossibly long

They stopped at the gates to a full unexpected
No anger or menace, just manners projected
The beast he was beastly, but didn’t seem mean
He looked mostly sad, like a trapped wolverine

“Welcome, my lady,” the burly beast said
As he took off his hat and he lowered his head
Beauty was frightened, gave her father a hug
The beast stood beside her, like mouse to a bug

Her dad left in sadness, she stepped forward brave
Though fear rolled right through in a tumbling wave
Trembling with terror, scared and afraid
Now second guessing the choice that she made

Her dad was an echo as she opened the door
Tears slid from her cheek and they fell to the floor
Four seasons faded, one year fell to two
The red of her life quickly cooled to a blue

A magnificent mirror, gilded with gold
Filled her with love from the stories it told
In the bed of its glass she could see her old life
Her two older sisters and a dad with no wife

She watched them each day as impossible grew
And a new set of feelings settled to brew
The beasts mood had softened, they became friends
Belle saw who he was through a whole different lens

Wonderfully kind, considerate and sweet
Though he had long angry fangs and fur on his feet
Belle missed her family and all of her friends
But loved lingering talks with their long-lasting ends

She enjoyed his perspective, he was funny and smart
He had a big brain and a much bigger heart
He asked for her hand, even begged for a YES!
Beast wanted Beauty, not a molecule less

She liked him a lot, but marriage? Not sure
A yes to forever, meant love must be pure
The beast’s heart was shattered, mashed into pulp
He shook and then sauntered, then left with a gulp

The air grew quite bitter, Beast’s feelings went brittle
At Belle’s refusal to meet his committal
She went to her room, then picked up the mirror
To look at her family and make them feel nearer

She drew in her breath, then swallowed a cry
Her heart started thudding, her face remained dry
Daddy was dying – the mirror displayed
And twisted the knife in the choice that she made

She had to find Daddy, had to head home right now
Had to do it that second, she didn’t care how
Beast entered the bedroom, upset on his lips
The silence between them like two passing ships

“What’s wrong?” he growled, in a rolling low rumble
“My father,” she gasped with a whispering mumble
She showed him the mirror, and her father in bed
Barely a breath and just inches from dead

“I must go to see him,” Beauty Belle pleaded
Begging for license that she truly needed
“NO!” the beast thundered in boiling rage
Reminding Belle of reality’s cage

She fell to her knees, shaking and sobbing
Her eyes were all wet and her insides were throbbing
“Just one week,” she swore, “and I never lie
But I have to be there if my dad’s gonna die”

Something inside Beast shattered to pieces
And flooded his brow in a bucket of creases
“Okay,” he said, with an animal sigh
“7 days only!” then left with no bye

Belle galloped back home, then ran to her dad
Trying to hide a face swollen with sad
“Daddy!” she cried. He met her embrace
His slow beating heart quickly started to race

Belle stayed by his side and nursed him to strong
7 days flew and then went all month long
Once her father was well, Beauty realized the truth
To her beautiful beast she’d surrender her youth

“I must return to the castle,” Belle blurted out loud
She stood to her feet and she solemnly vowed:
“I love that monster, and see him as a man
And I want to marry him, and hope I still can”

She arrived at the castle, Beast was near death
Twisted in agony and gasping for breath
Belle ran to his side, then cradled his head
She couldn’t imagine a life with him dead

“I love you, I love you,” she repeated in time
I want to get married, want you to be mine
Beast opened his eyes, then fixed them on Belle
Suddenly surrounded in a magical spell

His mane disappeared, his teeth shrank in size
He stared at beautiful Belle with a set of new eyes
“I’ve longed for this moment,” a silky voice said
From a new handsome face on a new handsome head

“I suffered in secret, kept the truth hidden
I could not tell you, it was forbidden
Once I was ugly, inside not out
I had to earn beauty that traveled throughout

Only a woman, who loved me as I am
A flower with no bloom and only a stem
“I love you!” Belle said, “I love who you are!
In my eternity’s sky you’re the shiniest star”

The prince and new princess that day were married
And the Beast’s faded beastness was forever buried
Masses of roses filled air like the weather
The beauty Beast found was their new life together

Click on the link to buy Beauty and the Beast (for just .99!)

The Halloween Promise

It’s Halloween and I can’t wait
For a million things to celebrate
I love this one day of the year
When I walk the darkness without fear

Creatures may creep and crawl through the night
With witches on broomsticks and wizards in flight
Vampires and werewolves, green men from space
Nothing could send the smile from my face

Armed with my empties, I head for the streets
On a candy safari, I’m gathering treats
House after house, I knock on each door
Begging and pleading, I want even more

Chocolaty, sugary, crunchity snacks
Filling not one, but all three of my sacks
Once I’m back home, I plow through my mound
My parents are pleading, “Won’t you slow down?”

I can’t, no I won’t. I want one of each kind
Maybe two, three or four. “Mine, I said mine!”
No one can stop me, I’m an eating machine
Until two hours later, I’m sick and all green

My stomach is heavy, a large bowling ball
You may not believe it, but I ate it all!
Please someone stop it, this horrible ache
I’ll make every vow that I know I must make

I promise, I swear, I’m super sincere
And that’s how I’ll stay until this time next year

The Halloween Promise is just one of 100 awesome poems in Syllable Soup. Buy it here for just $2.99

Syllable Soup is currently the #1 Children’s Humorous Poetry Book on Kindle!

The Skeleton Dared Me

The skeleton was scary
“Would I lie to you?” he said
I stared at him, no flesh on bones
The dude was surely dead

I did not believe the voice, of course
Like daggers stabbing truth
He told me I was on the freeway
Flying past my youth

Beauty fades, vanilla skin
Can one day fade to gray
Live each hour knowing you
Cannot repeat a day

Don’t fly through your life
Too hyperactive to enjoy
The best of life is possible
For every girl and boy

Squander time, you’ll have a thorn
Beneath your being, it’s true
The skeleton said I could do it
His final words were, “I dare you!”

Writer Dad

The Skeleton Dared Me is just one of 100 awesome poems in Syllable Soup. Buy it here for just $2.99

Syllable Soup is currently the #1 Children’s Humorous Poetry Book on Kindle!

The Magic Key

Every day I sit in school
Doodling drawings, dribbling drool
I stare outside at silent sky
And start a string of endless whys

Too much to ponder, countless are queries
So I wonder and wander and think up new theories
These are today’s, the ones tickling my brain
Endlessly dropping like buckets of rain

If you have some replies, really that’s great
But if you do not, well then I can relate
I don’t expect answers, the questions are fun
I’ll start at the top with today’s Number One:

When I say no to sleep am I resisting arrest?
Does a turkey taste better only when it is dressed?
When I daydream at dark, well what is that called?
If an eagle has feathers, then why is it bald?

I understand speed of light and I get speed of sound
But here’s a new thought I’ve been tossing around
Is there such a thing as momentum of stink?
I think that it’s possible, but what do you think?

And speaking of smell, well I’ve gotta ask
When there’s fragrance so foul that it begs for a mask
And it lingers about and you’re yelling, “P.U.!”
Well, I don’t know what that stands for. I wonder, do you?

If there were no sponges, would the ocean be deeper?
Do rabbits lay eggs only when it is Easter?
I know it’s my funny bone, but I’ve never laughed
If you write smooth when it’s warm, is it still a rough draft?

Can you cry underwater? How can new be improved?
Do fortune cookies expire? Can a mountain be moved?
Were there woodpeckers riding inside Noah’s Ark?
Why is the fridge so well lit if the freezer is dark?

If every rule has exception, is there exception to that?
If donuts were square, would they still make you fat?
How far east do you think one man could travel
Before his route would unwind and begin to unravel

And he found himself heading out westward instead
Half-way behind and half-way ahead?
If I soaked a raisin in water would it grapen right back?
Do all the colors together, do they really make black?

If an escalator gets broken, is it then only stairs?
Why isn’t honey sold in bees, yet always in bears?
Why are dogs noses wet? Would you prefer fortune or fame?
Which armrest is mine? What’s the devil’s last name?

Is there another word for thesaurus or only that one?
Do you see why these whys are such wonderful fun?
I love to ask questions, they make my mind bigger
Answers are fun to uncover and figure

Classrooms are nice, but exploration is key
There’s no better way to unlock the inside of me

Writer Dad

The Magic Key is just one of 100 awesome poems in Syllable Soup. Buy it here for just $2.99

Syllable Soup is currently the #1 Children’s Humorous Poetry Book on Kindle!

Memories Made Permanent With 26 Keys

I plan on living a long, fruitful life.

Yet, no matter how long I live, I can’t imagine there being a period. more formative than the last three years. An era that began without ceremony on July 17, 2008  And and with the registry of this domain,  or and heand is only now fading as I move my first major fiction project to market.

Because I am a man with the marrow of romance and nostalgia in my bones, I wanted to commemorate time gone by with a collection of 15 posts from the earliest days of Writer Dad.

I love these stories. Each captured a moment in my life, memories made permanent with 26 keys, rather than a click and a flash.

I used to write that way every day. It was all I knew for the first six months of my online life, capturing the daily happenings of my happy, hard-working family with fingers dancing across the keys, long after my children were in bed and sweetly snoring, as my patient wife waited on me once again.

“Just 20 more minutes,” I’d say, even though we both knew I’d be 40, if not twice as long. Every word had to be perfect. After all, I was building something beautiful and we both knew it. It wasn’t just a new online audience or the promise of creative freedom, I was steadily articulating an archive of our lives, one word at a time.

I can never return to that time. Now, I write with a plan, and everything I publish must weave in or out of my ultimate agenda. Yet, there is a beauty to writing without purpose, or at least a purpose as pure and simple as grabbing the magic in a single moment.

This year has been good to me, and I’ve finally earned the right to write with frivolity again. I still believe that “life’s better with the right words” and am looking forward to returning to Writer Dad so I can take pictures with my thoughts and give my memories permanence.

This collection of 15 of my earliest Writer Dad posts are some of my favorite words I’ve ever written. They’re not necessarily the best, but they are wonderfully, beautifully, and almost achingly honest. When I assembled the collection I nearly cringed, suddenly hungry to edit yesterday’s raw copy and innocent perspective.

But I don’t believe in rewriting history and prefer to see the perfection in their flaws.

I love this collection. I love its naiveté and optimism. I love how the pages give me hope that I will recapture the purity I once had and blend it with everything I’ve learned since.

A Promise to My Family is available on Amazon for .99, is FREE when you sign up for the Writer Dad newsletter below, or you can read any of the 15 entries with a click (they’re lined up in the sidebar to your right).

However you prefer to read them, I hope you enjoy and would love to hear what you think!

Writer Dad 

Leave a comment below!