Writer Dad is a sublime site about family and fatherhood with well written tales alongside helpful hints and strategies to help render our children into remarkable writers. Please subscribe (for free) by RSS or Email. Thanks! “Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes We both believe that it is important to speak with our children as though they understand, with unforgiving vocabulary, well ahead of any expectation of a reasonable response. Eventually they will reciprocate, and those defining moments leading to that inevitable verbal eruption are each and every one majestic. The fact that Mia is so undaunted when it comes to asking questions, means I’m able to lower my filter when I open my mouth. I’m confident that if something flies over her head, there’s a near certainty that she’ll throw her arms to the sky and try to catch it. Of course I keep the grown-up talk in the cupboard with a white, plastic child safety lock latched across the top, but I’ve never hedged on the vocabulary. This strategy has paid in dividends far more handsome than any mutual fund I’ve ever contributed to. Mia’s language was good when she was two, great when she was three, and amazing now at six. I understand that comparing my daughter’s articulation to compound interest might seem a little off, but really it’s quite apt. At first, contributions are high while the returns remain low. Sooner or later, the interest earned starts to exceed the initial investment. As is true with most successful ventures, we must start early to finish strong. I am in awe of the connections that Mia is constantly making, and the verbal balls we are now bouncing back and forth. Even more amazing is that she’s able to weave new experience into the countless little details that she has absorbed over the long years of her short life. Mia will often reference things from her distant past, tying tidbits from long gone lessons to newly discovered details. Knowing that Mia is storing everything inside that amazing little brain makes me far more mindful when it comes to our four year old Max. Our first born is the child who teaches us to parent, the second is equalized by all the lessons we learned by paying attention. With Max, I have learned that everything matters. We only get one life, and in that life a single childhood made from a million moments, most of which fall neatly under our jurisdiction. If there was one thing I could say to each and every parent, it is this: Our children get it, and we should never do them, or ourselves, the disservice of underestimation. There are no do overs. If you enjoyed these words, please subscribe (for free) by RSS or Email. I tweet here, and Stumble here. Thanks. Related posts:
What makes my six year old daughter Mia so amazing to speak with is that she is, and always has been completely unafraid to ask questions. I get the gift of gab from my mother, and passed it to my children. Daisy and I have added plenty of food and water to this quickly flowering seed.Writer Dad
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Hi Writer Dad - I love that…with parenting… “there are no do overs”. Such important words to remember.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Blogs - Information You Won’t Find In A Text Book
WriterDad, I love this approach. My own children have a vocabulary broad enough to differentiate them from their peers, although not quite extensive enough to get them beaten up.
It’s the vocabulary I didn’t expose them to that amazes me. And I’m not talking about the words you keep in your cupboard.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..What I Learnt From Crashing The Car – Part 2
If your daughter matures to be anything like me, her questions will continue but be more and more mature and intellectual.
I recall a high school English teacher thanking me for raising my hand in class because there were probably nine other students who would have raised their hands but were either afraid or apathetic.
I ask a new question every day. And I learn a new answer every day.
Here’s to questions and answers - and to your daughter!
Ari Herzogs last blog post..Anything is Possible
Using advanced vocabulary just means that they can put it in context and will be used to hearing it. I think I’m going to steal your parenting method - me like.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..An American Hero
My son was actually criticized by his Reception year teacher for asking too many questions.
As I sat there at Parent’s Evening with my mouth open, I asked her whether his questions were relevant to the lessons or whether he was just wasting time.
“Oh no”, she said, “they are all about what we are learning. He is just insatiable. He never stops asking me to qualify what we are learning.”
I came home and told my boy to never change and that his thirst for knowledge is a wonderful wonderful thing and if his teacher can’t answer all his questions, come home and mummy will do her damnest to.
He also went to school with a huge thirst for knowledge and he couldn’t wait to read and learn how to write and I was told to slow him down so he could walk with his classmates before he could run.
I’m hoping there is a good reason for this as I cannot comprehend why I should hold my bright little man back.
Taras last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: What’s the first single you ever bought?
Wow, Tara, slow your child down so he could walk with his classmates? God forbid the teacher should have to work a little harder for your child’s benefit? That sounds suspiciously close to “dumbing down” or appealing to the least common denominator. Almost 50 years ago, I was allowed to skip a grade in elementary school. I can’t imagine what would have happened with me if I hadn’t. Although I was younger than everyone, I was engaged and excited about learning.
Sean is eloquently stating that we parents are the gatekeepers to our children’s spirit - their intellectual curiosity and their enthusiasm about what is to be learned. Dampening that spirit, or allowing an external dampening while they are in our care, is unfathomable.
Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..COMPASS
Hi WD,
I always try to speak to children using the same words I would use with anybody. Fortunately for me, three years in a seminary mean that I hardly ever curse. I even feel guilty if I think one :).
I feel there is no need to teach them the “kid” words which are, in Spanish, often longer than the real terms. Is like that in English too?
Hi Tara,
I can recall a similar situation when I was a boy. My father encouraged me to ask my teacher questions, but they were not always appreciated. In retrospect, after having taught myself, I know a teacher can feel stressed by the unexpected question from a kid, while he’s keeping an eye to the class clown.
But don’t worry, kids usually follow their parents much more than their teachers.
Miguel de Luiss last blog post..Mindmaps on (and with) index cards
Here here Betsy. I just thank heavens there are other teachers out there who actually care about the individuals they are in charge of.
Taras last blog post..Lost
@Miguel. You’re totally right, teaching is a really difficult job and there is such a wide difference of children in one class (there was a clown in my class all through school and I used to curse him, swot that I was!)
And I have to say, I kind of enjoy trying to answer all his questions when he gets home because it reinforces his belief that mummy knows everything!
Taras last blog post..Lost
I completely agree, Sean, that we need to be very mindful when we talk to our kids (this is coming from a father to be, so I am speaking from the sidelines), that we don’t worry so much about talking down to their level. In the end we are just ‘talking down to them’. Not that we should confuse them with big words, but that we should respect their ever expanding minds by giving them food for thought, not just a bunch of, “Is that your little tummy, tum, tum?”
Well put ideas, Sean. Eric.
Eric Hamms last blog post..Personal Responsibility: Making Wise Choices Regardless Of The Financial Forecast
What you plant in this generation will probably bear fruit in the next generation in the way that you kids raise their kids. We’re are fortunate enough to be seeing that in our grandchildren.
It sounds like you are doing well.
Mike Goads last blog post..Eyes of the Great Depression 003
Barbara: Countless chances, infinite opportunities, no do overs.
Dave: “My own children have a vocabulary broad enough to differentiate them from their peers, although not quite extensive enough to get them beaten up.” That sounds like the best word set possible.
Ari: “I ask a new question every day. And I learn a new answer every day.” That’s a beautiful statement, and a fantastic way to weave through life.
Hayden: You’re not stealing, Hayden. I’m giving it away!
Tara: That is impossibly appalling on every level, and a good example of why our education, not just in this country but in much of the world, is broken. We can ask our children to slow down with a great many things. Their desire to learn should never be one. I’m very sorry, Tara.
Betsy: Thanks. I’m the opposite. I got moved from a private school to a public school in fourth grade. One week into the school year, the office discovered my age and put me back in third grade, which would have been too slow to begin with. It was the most miserable school year ever.
Miguel: It is often like that. My language isn’t different with my children than with Daisy, for example, just my reference points.
Eric: Speaking from the sidelines is great, Eric. It means that you are mindful today, which will indeed make you a better father tomorrow.
Mike: Thanks, Mike. I completely agree. Daisy and I both realize that we are not just raising our own children, but our grandparent’s children. It must be amazing to sit with the generations around the table.
WHAT A GREAT POST WRITER DAD - i love and embrace your phrase “There are no do overs” It is true, you get the one shot and the one shot only. An argument or heated discussion I have with my parents. I am an only child and as the mother of two children, I often question whether my parents think they got it right with me. I mean, I was their first go at parenting and their last go…. I think they couldnt bear to admit they may have done some things different if they’d known 100% another baby wouldn’t come along, but anyway, each child is an individual and I guess you shouldnt parent your second any better or worse than your first. All our kids should be allowed to ask questions and I am all for my kids having open and honest discussions with us and their teachers and peers. You can never ask too many questions. So , Tara’s tale is shocking to me, but her attitude to the teacher is right on.
I never felt I could ask my parents anything and everything when I was a kid. If I’ve learnt anything, I’ve learnt that I dont want my kids to feel the same way….
Mom/Mums last blog post..Not a VW Bonnet In Sight!
AMEN! I’m all about talking to kids as thought they’re intelligent (talking to anyone that way, really), not with baby talk. It’s written in my baby book that when I was 2 I corrected a gentleman who said “fishie” to me. I’ve been editing ever since. LOL!
stephs last blog post..What I Know for Sure, No. 2
I am a teacher of gifted students, so the above post and some of the comments struck a nerve. I apologize for making such a long comment when I’m virtually a stranger to all of you, but…
@Tara. As a teacher, I sometimes have a need to get through a lesson in a limited amount of time, and if a student asks “too many” questions, it can cause the lesson to be cut short prematurely. However…
THIS IS NO EXCUSE to tell a child to stop asking questions.
Your child’s teacher needs to get a clue… if she is worried about limited time available in class, she can find other ways of dealing with your child’s questions without stunting his curiosity. Perhaps he could write his questions down and give them to either you or her later. Perhaps he could be given independent study assignments where he will have the freedom to explore, at his own pace, the same topic in greater detail than the rest of the class is studying. Perhaps he could even present his findings to the class.
Perhaps he could be pulled from this teacher’s class and placed in a gifted learning environment. Asking “too many questions” is a common manifestation of giftedness… if it is supported now, your son is likely to be an enthusiastic lifelong learner. If it is ignored or suppressed now, your son is likely to be a failure (or even a dropout) later in life. Many high school dropouts are gifted students who were never engaged at their level of ability.
In the United States, gifted students are protected by federal law, which places them in the category of special-needs students and guarantees an education in the “least restrictive environment.” State law provides even more protection and support. Investigate the law where you live and find out whether you have the right to demand that your child be tested for giftedness and what types of support are legally required
ifwhen your child passes the test.Your son’s future is at stake. Best of luck!
@WriterDad and everyone else who encourages their kids so much: the advice I offered to Tara will likely apply to your children too. Please don’t let schools or teachers give you excuses why your child can’t be intellectually stimulated in every class, with every teacher, every day.
Whoops, that should read though, not thought. I don’t edit comments!
stephs last blog post..What I Know for Sure, No. 2
I never baby-talked to my children. It’s a bottle, not a ba-ba, for crying out loud. And when they asked questions, I answered them. They let me know when I had given them enough information. They have incredibly sharp wits as young adults, and always question something that doesn’t make sense to them. This drove my eldest daughter’s boyfriend nuts in the beginning, because he was raised on the ‘Because I said so’ school of parenting. She forced him to question all his beliefs. And I do mean ALL!
I must so, though. Now that they are adults, it’s a relief to unlock that cupboard door! *chuckle*
Urban Panthers last blog post..We are now entering the Focused Phase
Writer Dad,
I love the way you write about your children. You’re creating a wonderful legacy for them when they’re older.
Beth Partins last blog post..It’s Been a Long Time Coming, but I Know a Change Is Gonna Come
I completely agree, Sean. I never even talked baby talk to my kids. I speak to them as if they are adults, because they are adults in training. They are intelligent and articulate and get complimented on their vocabulary all the time.
I wish more parents did the same.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Top 10 Ways to Know You’re a Freelance Writer
Mom/Mum: You can NEVER ask too many questions, so long as the questions are asked in an endeavor to learn rather than antagonize. I wish Tara’s tale had shocked me more, but unfortunately it only gave me flashbacks. She handled it brilliantly though.
Steph: I cannot STAND baby talk. I have no idea what parents are thinking when they gaga and googoo. Every moment is a teachable one. I am in no way surprised that you were correcting people at two, Steph, and I mean that as a high compliment. You were born to edit.
Aylad: Please don’t ever apologize for the length of a comment. We welcome new voices. Conversation is the blood of a beating heart, and if your words run to long, I can always copy, paste and run it as a guest post. : > ) From fourth grade on, I was in gifted programs, but still am no stranger to Tara’s story. The majority of my teachers did not take the time to answer my questions, and found my inquisitive nature a disruption to the agenda. I am far from a failure, but am a dropout. I left high school, never to return, five minutes after my guidance counselor told me I would be a failure if I didn’t agree to enter the academic decathlon. Sad but true.
Urban Panther: I cannot imagine you baby talking to your children, Panther. You seem way too sharp for that. Though I do not ever want the time to pass too quickly, I look forward to the days when every cupboard is unlocked. Good times they will be.
Beth: It is at least half of the reason I do it. This morning, I told Mia that I wrote about her last night. She beamed like I was taking her school picture. “Will you read it to me after school,” she asked. “I promise,” I said.
Jamie: I LOVE that, Jamie. Adults in training indeed.
Here, here, sir!
Rather than cry out “I need hewp!” as one of his peers does, the Evil Genius will firmly state “I require assistance, please.”
It puts a smile on my withered green face.
As much an act of ego as of parenting, I chose not to dumb down my speech for my child. He would learn to understand, or not. I’m always willing to explain what something means when he asks, and he’s not afraid to ask.
One of the best compliments I ever received was from a woman who marveled at how clearly and concisely he spoke, and how mature his vocabulary was…at the age of two. Yeah, yeah, I may have quietly gloated in a small corner of my mind.
Still, I think it’s important that children have the tools they need to make their way through life, and an extensive vocabulary is key. Since I am wretched at mathematics, it’s the words that I will give him, and the hope that one day he will delight in shaping them into songs, stories, or new meanings.
You give your children a wondrous gift.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..Stand Back, They Spit
What a beautiful way to put it! I have the same approach. In fact, last night we got into checks and balances in government and the historical impact of last night’s election with my seven year old.
I think children are capable of what you expect they can achieve. They want to make us so happy that they are willing, and flexible enough, to reach out ‘and catch it’ when it’s over their heads.
@WD: Thanks
One of my favorite college professors was a high school dropout who later got a PhD anyway… as you point out, dropping out doesn’t automatically lead to failure.
Our children do get it.
Baby talk, even when they are just babies, does them a huge disservice.
Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..I Love San Francisco. Do You Like Where YOU Live?
I would love to hear some examples of what Mia is saying.
When my Kelly was 4 she told her dad she loved him more than the universe but not as much as God. Nope, never talked “baby-talk” to her either.
Jannies last blog post..Caught red-pawed!
Just curious…. are we absolutley sure there’s no value in the baby talk? I feel sure I’ve read about studies showing that baby talk is beneficial in helping the young ones learn sounds and combinations of sounds. I could be wrong and I have nothing to back up my claim but I thought I’d ask.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..What I Learnt From Crashing The Car – Part 2
I, too, never hedged my vocabulary as the kiddos were little. Sure, I did a little of the baby talk, but not a ton of it.
As teens, they have HUGE vocabularies when compared to their peers. It helps in school as far as comprehension/reading/writing, but gets them labeled as geeks/smart-asses with their peers.
My 16 year old “dumbs” down her speech a tremendous amount when she is in school or around her friends. Otherwise, they can’t understand her. Sad.
GreenJellos last blog post..History
@Writer Dad
Okay, I’m the minority here. I’m not necessarily going to get all emotional over how kids learn to communicate with us. But fair enough, I’m not a parent, so I don’t have that special bond.
But I AM an Uncle. And Uncles like to mess with kids for their own amusment. And Uncle Friar is no exception. Especially when it comes to their vocabulary skills.
For example:
Pick a word. Any random word. Something that kids normally wouldn’t normally use. Then repeat it many times. Do this in a loud, happy excited voice. The kids eat this up, and can’t get enough of it.
“BOGUS!”, for example. I was responsibible for teaching more than a few two-year-olds how to scream this out loud.
Or: “We got BEAUCOUP Problems, MANNN!”
My nephews love this. They say it all the time, even when I’ m not there. And their parents have started too. It’s become a household word.
Just goes to show you the influence we have over kids (even if they’re not our own).
(….And how we need to use this influence WISELY!).
I’m with Hayden on this one. Using your regular vocabulary in the proper context should make it natural to pick up. I had heard a similar thing suggested before in the form of “Avoid baby talk!”, but the message is the same.
I do speak normally to my cats as well, but I think that makes me crazy. Not one of them has yet managed an English word that I could discern. Perhaps I’m not so crazy after all.
Ians last blog post..Get Indexed
Hi Tara, Aylad, WD, all
Building on what Aylad said, I think it would be important to seize the opportunity and improve the approach of that school.
First, a disclaimer,
It is always hard to judge others from a commentary in a blog, so give this a thought, make sure of what happened and why before taking action.
Second,
The time I taught I hardly had the opportunity to work with children eager to learn. I had the “wee orphans” (15 to 17 year old who remained in school for the law says so), so nick-named because no teacher supposedly liked to work with them. I had given my life for an eager student… or so I thought.
Third
On occasion I did substitutions, knowing other students, which overwhelmed with questions. I loved that, yet in a way it was more exhausting than the other class.
Fourth
What worries me, Tama, it’s that the teacher did not tell that to you or your kid out of a sudden, in the midst of worries and stress, but when meeting the parents. Somehow, the teacher is focused in getting an orderly classroom, which is a essential thing. I know by hard experience. In fact one of the reasons I’m not teaching again it’s that I’m not good at keeping discipline.
But an orderly classroom is a mean to an end, which is create a safe, yes, but also encouraging environment where children can learn.
And I think there are ways to cope with “too many questions”. Maybe a special questions time or… well you and the teacher know that class better than myself, so go ahead and try to find something together for the benefit of all.
I hope WD will forgive my soul for this long commentary too.
Miguel de Luiss last blog post..Mindmaps on (and with) index cards
Kyddryn: My mom never baby talked me, and I don’t believe I’ve ever had a problem articulating myself. Mia started using the word actually at eighteen months, which used to crack Daisy and I up something fierce. Now she makes up her stories in two languages. If we believe they can, they will. It’s as simple as that.
Tawnya: Bravo to you for talking about government with your seven year old! A big stack of digital high fives. Here ya go: ^5 ^5 ^5 ^5 ^5
Aylad: No way, Jose. Failure comes from lack of effort.
Vered: I believe they get it earlier than most of us imagine. A huge disservice indeed.
Jannie: I had a couple in there last night, but then I cut them out. It just seemed a bit too bragadocio (yes, I know that’s not a word). A great example is the “Pianoforte” post from a couple of weeks back, if you haven’t read that. It isn’t just her vocabulary, but the way she strings her thought together. Here’s one from a couple of days ago. She was speaking to Max, and telling him that he had to be quiet because I was writing for Writer Dad (I wasn’t. In fact, I was only pretending to type while listening to them). Max asked her why I didn’t write on paper. Mia said, “Because after Daddy presses return, everyone in the world can read it. If he writes it on paper, it’ll get stained and then he’ll throw it away.” I closed the lid and she crawled into my lap.
Dave Fowler: There might be value in baby talk, same as there’s value in a penny.
Green Jello: That is indeed sad. I did the same thing.
Friar: There’s definitely a place for that, Uncle Friar. When he was eighteen months, my mother taught Max to pound his fists on the table and declare, “I WANT BEER!” I did not think it was nearly as funny as she did. Derka, derka.
Ian: PLEASE tweet as soon as you hear the cat start to speak!
Miguel: I promise, you are always welcome to speak as long as you would like. That is a good point about Tara’s situation. The teacher said it simply because, to her, it was no big deal. That is almost more sad than what she said.
OUCH! You don’t fight fair. lol
I’d best do some further research then.
What a fantastic line though. I’m going to steal it.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..What I Learnt From Crashing The Car – Part 2
I have always used this approach as well. I don’t talk down to kids. It doesn’t work. We can be honest and open with them without talking down to them.
I give the students in my class the proper math words and terminology to use. I think these things really help kids develop and grow.
Good for you Sean!
Chase Marchs last blog post..Where Are Your Priorities?
“There are no do overs.” — very wise words Sean. We’ll never get it perfect, but remembering this — goes a long way toward doing the right things. And language is one of them - good on you for speaking at a level that challenges Mia - and makes her better because of that. We, too, talk with our children, and always have - at a level that sometimes challenges them, not in made up baby words.
And to Tara’s point - we can only guarantee how we’ll treat our kids - not how others will - and sadly - what we consider “right” others see differently. For what it’s worth, I think everyone’s point, everyone’s questions - matter. Kids, adults, elderly, sick, everyone. We are all from the same human race - and should treat each other with the respect we would hope to be treated ourself…
Hi Sean, Speaking baby talk to a child is the equivalent of speaking pidgin English to a person from another country. You are making the assumption that both are lacking in intelligence. I swore that when I had children I would never do the “because I said so” thing. When a child is given a valid explanation for something , you can bet that their little brain will process the explanation and be more accepting to what you are asking of them. You are always accusing me of having no filter when I speak….I have more filter when around Mia and Max than I did around twelve years of nuns!!! I love the euphemisms that we use at dinner when trying to tell a story in everyday salty language. Talk about creative writing! Love ya, mom
Hi Sean: I think that what you’re doing is putting your children in bigger and bigger flower pots so that they have more room to grow. People who limit the way they talk to their children have basically placed them in a small flower pot where their growth is stunted by the limits set by the parents.
Marelisas last blog post..10 Snazzy Ideas on Simplicity
what a great conversation!
I do think I’ve read similar things that baby talk is useful . . . for babies. It’s not the dumb vocabulary, it’s using a special tone of voice. Once they start talking, no need for it any more. Like Dave, my memory’s a little muggy.
My little dude has always been a mighty talker. He’s 3 now, and we often hear from adults, “wow, his vocabulary is bigger than mine.” We try not to be smug. But you know, secretly, we still are.
When he asks a question, we try to answer it as fully as possible. (In this age of “Why” that can be a bit excruciating, but we try.)
Sonia Simones last blog post..7 Dumb Things Small Businesses Do That You Can’t Afford #3: Getting Upside Down
@ Writer Dad’s Mum - it drives my Mum mad when I explain things to the Evil Genius. She wants me to just tell him “Because I said so!”
I prefer to explain, thoroughly and at length, exactly why I ask him to do or not to do a thing. I WANT him to question authority; I WANT him to ask why things should be that way. I WANT him to be a critical thinker, not a sheeple. I don’t want him to be another cog in the machine, another brick in the wall - I want him to know that he is doing something for a reason, not just because he is blindly following. I feel quite strongly about this - I would rather take the time to explain myself, even when it garners eye rolls and proclamations of “I would never let a child get away with that” and the accompanying implication that I am a bad parent than do what I perceive as a disservice to my child and the man he will one day be. On occasion, I will tell him “I asked, and that should suffice…” but only when there is no time to explain, and he understands that I will tell him why later. I DO understand the need for instant obedience in times of danger.
I think it’s tremendous that you explained, and I bet that had a lot to do with Writer dad’s skill and intelligence today.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who doesn’t bather desalinating her talk around the kid - it’s too late for that.)
Kyddryns last blog post..NaNoWriMo Note
That’s “bother”, not “bather”…this is what happens when you type and tickle the child at the same time…
Kyddryns last blog post..NaNoWriMo Note
WD, another wonderful gathering of words to read today and about some of my favorite things - children, learning and words. You have some marvelous comments I have enjoyed also today.
It has been humbling to have a child with different learning abilities and her brain works so amazingly differently…when something goes into long term memory it is essential gone for good….I would have to use a distinctive word everyday for 2 weeks and then every day for the rest of her life….if I wanted her to have a great vocabulary…thus she is unable to formulate questions or have a moral compass at the right moment….
She would always learn Uncle Friar’s BOGUS stuff! and we would hear it forever….:)
When I was thinking about teaching special ed as a career I did an internship with challenged kids ( 7 year olds) for the summer, and every Sunday I taught a pre-kindergarten class of 4-5 years olds in a different part of town. Every Sunday I was eating humble pie about what was accomplished the week before in my class.
I knew I could not do this as a career.
I think I should write an article about all the things I have learned about learning and living life from a child with a hole in the pre-frontal cortex….Wow it has been a gift that is immeasurable and always humbling.
All three of my kids challenge my thinking and that of the world around then, but in such profoundly different ways…
They all say:”Mom sometimes I can’t tell what you are trying to say?”
Better to listen!
Patricias last blog post..Hats off to Elizabeth Cady Stanton and the Revising Committee
My sons are now 19 and 16 and I wish I did have some do-overs. The older one suffered from depression and mood swings and terrorized us for several years. He is now settling down as he matures. I would love to have a do-over. I didn’t learn until late in the game the best way to respond to his outbursts even though I kept asking professionals to let me in on the secret. If I had known more earlier on, we might have gotten it all under control before so much yuck happened in my family. Now everything is much better but we all sport scares from those years.
Chase: That’s why you’re good at your job. I liked one of your posts last week where you were talking about your job and you said straight up, “I like my job. I’m good at it.” And then you articulated why. I am sure you are a fantastic teacher.
Lance: At this point, Mia wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s the first one to notice when someone else is getting baby talked. You are absolutely right about your points. We are all human, and could at the very least connect on that level. It’s all about respect.
Mom: Thank you for never talking baby talk to me. It has made me the articulate person I am today. Of course, it’s given me quite a colorful vocabulary, and has also made me use the delete button a LOT, as the favorite words we use are not always appropriate for the Dad part of Writer Dad. Your filter has gotten much better though. Thanks, and I love you too.
Marelisa: I love it when you use the flower pot analogy. It is perfect. I want our children to be the most beautiful, bountiful plants they can be.
Sonia: Tone is exceedingly important. You can use any vocabulary, but you should be considerate of your tone. They can’t hear deep sounds as well as they can high ones, but use real syllables. As to your son, I know the precise emotion.
Patricia: What a wonderful, wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing this. I read it a few days ago, and now again as I’m returning to answer. Beautiful, Patricia.
Laurie: Wonderful and honest. We live, learn, and do better. Thank you so much for sharing.
There are no do-overs, but perfection is not required, forgivness comes easily and children are great teachers for those who are willing to learn.
Great piece. My daughter has a great ability to read language, she can figure out by sight nearly any word thrown at her, at six. She still has to catch up on understanding each word and how the words link together to make a story. There are also lots of words at her reading level that I have to explain, and I try to remember the rule “don’t define a word with the word in the definintion”.
It’s great when she uses those words in a sentence later on, in the correct manner.
asrais last blog post..Support System