“It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”
~ Jesus
Jamie Simmerman should be the sweetheart of Blogopolis. She is kind, funny, and always pays toward the interest of others. She is also honest, and even if she thinks you’re awesome, is never shy to tell you how she thinks you could be even awesomer.
Except that Jamie would never use a word like awesomer. She runs Blue Duck Copy, a Christian company, specializing in SEO content creation and blog management. Jamie knows her stuff, and clarified more basic writing tools for me in a single, rather brief email, than any teacher I’ve ever had. Here’s what Jamie said about the semi-colon.
Semicolons, (this thing ; ) are used similar to an equals sign (this thing =). Both halves say the same thing, in different ways. Doing it right makes editors do this thing: : )
Crystal clear.
Enjoy Jamie Simmerman, the sweetheart of Blogopolis:
What a Vacuum Hickey Can Teach You
I am not very mechanically inclined, but I do all right. I can hook up and program the DVD player as well as troubleshoot small appliances when they go wacky.
I have a love/hate relationship with my vacuum. It seems we generate an abnormally large amount of dirt and debris here on the farm, because I am constantly unclogging the suction hoses on sweepers.
Vacuum Colonoscopy
We have a routine around here that requires sticking long objects up various parts of the sweeper to remove unmentionable balls of disgust. I have done this so many times that my oldest son now knows when I sit down on the floor and turn the vacuum over, he’s to fetch the supplies for the vacuum’s *colonoscopy*. Life on a farm is great.
Attack of the Ladies
The joys of living in a 200 year-old house are unique. If sweeper-killing mountains of dirt were not enough, we also have a problem with ladybugs. Every time the temperature fluctuates, the ladybugs come out in droves. They flock to the warmest side of the house, where the bedrooms are. They crawl along the seams where the ceiling meets the wall; they crowd into corners, and kamikaze the TV (and my snoring husband). Eventually, they land on the floor in a stupor and die.
It was time to vacuum.
All Grown Up
Feeling quite every bit of his eight years, my son announced he could handle the stinky bugs and wanted to have a go at it because, evidently, that kind of stuff is cool to an eight-year-old boy. I gladly handed over the hose and began folding laundry.
After a few minutes, the vacuum began to sound strange.
Being the mechanical genius that I am, I reached over and knocked the vacuum around a little. It resumed its more pleasant humming and we went back to our cleaning. A couple of minutes passed and I heard the same strange noise coming from the vacuum again. I reached over and shut the machine off, preparing for another vacuum colonoscopy.
I looked at the boy to ask him if he was ready to help and I noticed a mischievous grin on his little face.
“What?” I asked slowly.
“Nuttin’ ” came the sly reply. Then the giggling began and I knew something was up.
“What!” I yelled through my own giggles. He lifted his shirt and smiled big.
Are You Insane?
He removed the vacuum hose, revealing a big round red spot on his belly. “Ah!” I cried, “What’s wrong with you, are you insane?” He grinned big, “Probably, I’m your kid!”
I gave him a swat with the pillow from the bed and asked him what he thought he was doing. He explained that a ladybug flew down his shirt and the vacuum tickles. Huh, perfectly logical.
I picked him up and gave him my best bear hug until he yelled for backup from baby brother. We wrestled on the floor, getting ladybugs stuck in our hair.
Little moments like this remind me of how great being a mother really is, and just how precious children are.
Now I just have to figure out how to explain the vacuum cleaner hickey to my husband…
You can subscribe to Jamie’s feed here.
Writer Dad
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Writer Dad and Jamie - I was reading this nodding my head. I’ve also had to turn the vacuum upside down and give it a colonoscopy. It’s not a pretty sight.
I also love the part about the vacuum cleaner hickey. That was funny!
Barbara Swafford - Blogging Without A Blogs last blog post..NBOTW - An Explorer Of Life
Wow, he sounds like a scamp! What an adorable story.
On an unrelated note, I also belong to the hit-it-until-it-starts-working-again club. It’s amazing how effective it can be. Look, Ma, no tools!
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..What to Do When They Laugh in Your Face
Great guest here today Sean - I happen to think Jamie is super-awesome - and definitely the sweetheart of blogopolis!!
Jamie - I love the story! When you have kids around, they’re going to “try” things you might not think of yourself (not on your radar screen, right - his method of lady bug removal)! Reminds me of a story a few years back. We were in church, and some group was collecting money to donate to disaster relief. I think it involved helping to rebuild, because there were lots of power tools in the presentation. After church, they had a shop-vac running to collect money - the “Suck a Buck” program. Well, our daughter went to put some money into the “Suck a Buck” contraption, and the force of the shop-vac sucked her whole arm into the machine! Very funny (although, for some reason - our daughter didn’t see it that way)!
Continue to enjoy your kids, and all the unique things they do Jamie!
Lances last blog post..Ask…And You Shall Receive
THESE are the stories of LIFE, Jamie!!
These beautiful, treasured, FUN and HAPPY moments surround us, everywhere. You’re blessed to see them. So often so many people do not. Thanks for sharing!
Julies last blog post..The Smile
Jamie, that was just adorable.
You are so right that it is little moments like this that make your heart swell.
And it’s so good to get them written down as they are really easily forgotten. One day you will look back at these little anecdotes and your heart will swell once again.
Really lovely.
Tara@Sticky Fingerss last blog post..An apology
Hayden,
A scamp… yep, that about sums it up. He’s cute as button and charming (like his dad) witty and observant ( I have no idea where that came from).
Beating the vacuum used to be a last resort, before I lived in a house full of testosterone. Sad, how far I’ve come.
Lance,
Thanks Lance.
I love the suck a buck story! I hope your daughter finds it funny now.
I can relate, except I have boys, so they most likely would have been sticking arms and fingers and cheeks into the machine on purpose.
My boys are one of the biggest joys I have ever known. I’d have a dozen if I had the energy, money, and sanity to survive.
Julie,
I think it’s important to live each day to the fullest and take notice of the little things. I wasn’t always in a place where that was possible, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world now.
You’re very welcome and thanks for sharing Writer Dad’s space with me today.
Tara,
The little moments add up to a lifetime. We try not to overlook even the mundane because life is short. Living without regrets means living in each moment, every day.
Thanks for your compliments.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..OBS Tips: Tackling the Impossible Task
Jamie,
You are warm and funny - from the start, from your first tweet to me - when my two year old tweeted some gibberish over at twitter.
I love your attitude and might have to take a writing/SEO lesson from you real soon.
“Little moments like these ….” - yes, they make it all worth it
Mayas last blog post..Integrity, Values and Happiness
Writer Dad, you are hosting one of my favorite people here! Good for you! Jamie, What a great story! The Mom in me was nodding right along with the entire tale until I remembered that MY vaccuum has bit the dust and I need to get out the door to go buy a new one so I can vaccuum before everyone comes over for Thanksgiving and have too much Dog hair in their food. Yikes! Time to go shopping!
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..How Clutter Blocks Success
Jamie, If I didn’t know any better I would think that you were spying in on my family when I was a kid. We had a huge lady bug problem too and the vacuum always made for a good time when trying to stick it to your hand (or stomach for that matter) even to this day I still have to put my hand up there and hear it rev up…it drives my wife mad because she think I broke it or something.
Sals last blog post..Multitasking Sucks!
Thanks Jamie. I really needed to read a story like this today. Everyone in my house has been out of sorts the last few days, so the aggravation-to-humor ratio has been really out of whack. You’ve reminded me of some important truths that run through our lives: Even when bugs move in, appliances threaten to die, and the kids act squirrelly, there is room for laughter and love. (And even if you can’t quite find laughter and love in the moment, you can trust they haven’t left for good—they’re just taking a little break.)
Btw, I’m so glad I found your blog through Writer Dad. What is your Twitter name? I’m @kt_writes.
Kristin T.s last blog post..Life imitates craft, in six stages
What a fun and sweet story! Thanks for introducing Jamie to us, Writer Dad. I subscribed.
Emilys last blog post..Unexpected
Oh, what a fine moment to be in!
My Mum has ladybugs at her house - they are legion. They get into our water glass and wriggle when we sip, and land in our dinner when we aren’t looking - should mashed potatoes crunch??
How DID you explain your son’s hickey??
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..I am SUCH a Girl!
Maya,
Thanks for the compliment. That was a funny Tweet.
Your blog is one of my favorites. I think we share a common outlook on life.
Wendi Kelly,
Thanks for the kind words.
I bought one of those lightweight push thingies as a back-up. No dogs in the house here, but it works great on gravel, cookies, sand, dried mud…. all those kid-related piles. Happy shopping!
Sal,
Our house has been on the farm for over 200 years- built before plumbing and electricity. The windows are wavy and the beams are tongue in groove. It makes for a ladybug haven.
My boys think anything with wheels and/or a motor rocks. The vacuum is one of their favorites. That’s funny that you never outgrew your fascination with the vacuum.
Kristin T.,
I love that line about how they haven’t left for good. I think it might end up in this week’s Blog Nirvana. (Look for a pingback)
Tweeters know me as BlueDuckCopy. There’s a button on my blog, too if that makes it easier. Sean convinced me I needed to Tweet. It’s been fun and I’ve met some great people. I’ll look you up!
Emily,
Thanks for subscribing. You’ll find a mix at Blue Duck, hopefully all to your liking,
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..OBS Tips: Tackling the Impossible Task
OOOOOhhhhhh getting to read Jamie twice in one day is awesome! Thanks for hosting her, Writer Dad. She is my favorite sweetheart of bloggers, too.
Jamie, you are an inspiration, just in case you didn’t know.
B J Keltzs last blog post..Getting a Life Back (or at least cleaning it up)
Kyddryn,
We are lucky enough to have most of ours stay upstairs. We only have to worry about them flying in our mouths when we snore.
I managed to hide the mark until it faded enough to go unnoticed.
B J,
Thanks for you kindness. I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by bleakness. It’s god to help others when you get the opportunity.
It’s kinda neat being in two places at once! I was truly touched when Sean approached me about a guest post. he has such a wonderful website and community here at Writer Dad. It’s been fun.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad
Barbara: It was funny. I always feel like I’m there with Jamie when she writes. Her enthusiasm and genuine spirit instantly draw us in.
Hayden: Me too, except when it comes to my laptop. I wouldn’t dare.
Lance: Jamie is super awesome indeed.
Wendi: Thanks, to you and Jamie. Both of you are awesome.
Emily/BJ: My pleasure, really. The moon’s been gone for hours and this is the first time I’m here. Jamie took the reigns the whole day. She’s a peach.
“Doesn’t work? Get a bigger hammer!” That is what my man always says. He says that because I always insist on using brute force on everything.
A good friend of mine has a really old house, and we notice that every year too, ladybugs just clutter in the corners of the ceiling. I’d never seen anything like it until I moved out in the middle of nowhere…
I’ll one up the little one- I gave myself a hickey on my arm just to see if I could do it. No vaccuum involved!
Melissas last blog post..Get It All Out!
Melissa,
My husband has the same “beat it into submission” theory about equipment. I’m a little squeamish. I feel bad when I break something, even if it is a piece of junk.. 
Am arm hickey, huh? Did anyone notice?
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad
Worse that just anyone noticing: My dad noticing. It was bad. He was pretty upset with me, but looking back, I could tell he snickered about it later. I think I was seven.
Melissas last blog post..Get It All Out!
Melissa,
That’s hilarious! My boys have done that before, I don’t get upset. Unless I hear them screaming and find them giving each other hickeys… and Indian rubs… and wedgies.
The baby likes to smear his brother with Desitin when he’s not looking. Then he yells, “You gots butt cream on yous face!” Such fun!
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad
Hi Jamie, I really enjoyed your cute story. This really makes me think about how we judge by appearances. I love ladybugs! They’re sweet and cute and very Mary Englebreit. You could cover me in ladybugs and I would giggle. Is a bug by any other name still a bug? Show me a roach and my spine turns to jelly. Show me a potato bug and I’m sure the Apocalypse is not far behind. A grasshopper hurtling through the air will make me fling a lung shrieking. Ladybugs, red and darling… the angels of bugs. (Hi Seany)
A friend of mine has this adorable photo of her little girl (about 2nd grade) with her head stuck in the bars of the back of a chair. She was just curious to see if her head would fit. Getting her head out was not as easy as getting it in. It’s a great blackmail photo!
Hi Sean’s Mom!
Wow! I feel all giddy to have you complimenting my post. Thank you.
I feel the same way about roaches. I was a home health nurse for years and saw more than I could count, literally! BLECH! The lady bugs aren’t so bad, except they stink and get stupid before they die. I’ll send them all to Sean in a big envelope and he can forward them to you.
(Hi Seany!)
Laurie,
That would make a great photo!
My brother did that when he was little, only it was the porch railing. I greased his head with butter trying to get him out before my parents came home. THAT would make a priceless picture to have now- I’m meeting his new girlfriend tomorrow.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving