1998: I was moving to Chicago; I had just given up a sweet back page column to move here. My son was one year old. My daughter was 4.5. It was windy and snowing and driving the moving truck was learning how to sail in a hurricane.

2) What’s on your to do list today?
~ Laundry
~ Kitchen
~ Xmas brouhaha
~ Snow shoveling at about 6:45
~ Cursing
~more shoveling
~ more cursing
~ hot chocolate and/or scotch
~ feed them
~ homework them
~ watch office/30 rock
~ send them to bed
~ Pinotage w/ [My Attorney]
~ Write

3) What if you were a Billionaire?

What do you mean what if?

4) Five places you have lived?

I have lived in a shotgun apartment over an electric shaver repair shop with an insane performance artist who once set himself on fire; I took an apartment in a building that was condemned shortly thereafter where the garage apartments housed loud winos who sat on their porches drinking Thunderbird under palm trees and often fell over the rail to lie laughing on the asphalt behind my back door; I have lived over a garage in a two roomed apartment with pink walls and faux jewelry embedded int he floorboard cracks with quadruple French doors that opened into the upper branches of live oak and palms where I found, slid behind a kitchen cabinet door, a love note on brown paper from the former tenant to his lover, stranded in Mexico after an illegal operation, a note I carefully replaced in the hopes it would find its way; I have lived, for a week, in rock star splendor, on the 9th floor of La Pavillon in New Orleans in July where I stood amid chipped plaster statues and oblivious, chain smoking Brits, watching the afternoon thunderstorm gather black and crash through the business district to embrace us in a hot rain; I have lived now ten years in a bungalow on a street corner in Chicago amid cops and firemen, all of them manic Christmasophiles, their houses ablaze from November 29th through Jan 4, drinking coffee and singing to myself in the kitchen each day.

5) Three bad habits?

I write long letters to friends after three am because I have insomnia and it’s a lot like being sloppy drunk, and I get what I call emotionally intellectually curious and ask detailed philosophical questions. Then after I finally fall asleep and wake up, have to plow through long, complicated answers to a question I don’t remember and no longer understand.

I truly, truly love collecting and using bizarre, gigantic, hideously obscure words in everyday speech which, though it is fun for me, is not much more than carefully controlled logorrhea and does no one any real good, especially when I use words like copraphagilaliac in the Taco Bell drive-through.

I lie to children about bigfoot and convince them he knows how to read and loved superman comics but is pretty depressed all the time because he can’t get a job and come into town and buy them so they should sometimes take their old superman comics and leave them in the woods.

6) Snacks you like?

Dirty martinis; fois gras; cheese grits.

7) Who will you tag?

Sgt. David Haynes

Christopher Garlingtons last blog post..Proper Potty Training for People with Penises

1998: I was moving to Chicago; I had just given up a sweet back page column to move here. My son was one year old. My daughter was 4.5. It was windy and snowing and driving the moving truck was learning how to sail in a hurricane.

2) What’s on your to do list today?
~ Laundry
~ Kitchen
~ Xmas brouhaha
~ Snow shoveling at about 6:45
~ Cursing
~more shoveling
~ more cursing
~ hot chocolate and/or scotch
~ feed them
~ homework them
~ watch office/30 rock
~ send them to bed
~ Pinotage w/ [My Attorney]
~ Write

3) What if you were a Billionaire?

What do you mean what if?

4) Five places you have lived?

I have lived in a shotgun apartment over an electric shaver repair shop with an insane performance artist who once set himself on fire; I took an apartment in a building that was condemned shortly thereafter where the garage apartments housed loud winos who sat on their porches drinking Thunderbird under palm trees and often fell over the rail to lie laughing on the asphalt behind my back door; I have lived over a garage in a two roomed apartment with pink walls and faux jewelry embedded int he floorboard cracks with quadruple French doors that opened into the upper branches of live oak and palms where I found, slid behind a kitchen cabinet door, a love note on brown paper from the former tenant to his lover, stranded in Mexico after an illegal operation, a note I carefully replaced in the hopes it would find its way; I have lived, for a week, in rock star splendor, on the 9th floor of La Pavillon in New Orleans in July where I stood amid chipped plaster statues and oblivious, chain smoking Brits, watching the afternoon thunderstorm gather black and crash through the business district to embrace us in a hot rain; I have lived now ten years in a bungalow on a street corner in Chicago amid cops and firemen, all of them manic Christmasophiles, their houses ablaze from November 29th through Jan 4, drinking coffee and singing to myself in the kitchen each day.

5) Three bad habits?

I write long letters to friends after three am because I have insomnia and it’s a lot like being sloppy drunk, and I get what I call emotionally intellectually curious and ask detailed philosophical questions. Then after I finally fall asleep and wake up, have to plow through long, complicated answers to a question I don’t remember and no longer understand.

I truly, truly love collecting and using bizarre, gigantic, hideously obscure words in everyday speech which, though it is fun for me, is not much more than carefully controlled logorrhea and does no one any real good, especially when I use words like copraphagilaliac in the Taco Bell drive-through.

I lie to children about bigfoot and convince them he knows how to read and loved superman comics but is pretty depressed all the time because he can’t get a job and come into town and buy them so they should sometimes take their old superman comics and leave them in the woods.

6) Snacks you like?

Dirty martinis; fois gras; cheese grits.

7) Who will you tag?

Sgt. David Haynes

Christopher Garlingtons last blog post..Proper Potty Training for People with Penises

No, not really. If I do, I’m furiously typing. The Wee-Books are just polished versions of material that was written before the blog. I’ll be able to produce fresh material when I move into writing full time.

No, not really. If I do, I’m furiously typing. The Wee-Books are just polished versions of material that was written before the blog. I’ll be able to produce fresh material when I move into writing full time.

That title is awesome!

Made me smile too — that’s a rarity, just so you know.

But wow!

Do you ever have any time to yourself?

I couldn’t help but notice your last three in your to-do list.

How do you ever manage to post 5 times a week and write your wee-books?

Gees!

Luis Grosss last blog post..StumbleUpon Do’s and Dont’s

That title is awesome!

Made me smile too — that’s a rarity, just so you know.

But wow!

Do you ever have any time to yourself?

I couldn’t help but notice your last three in your to-do list.

How do you ever manage to post 5 times a week and write your wee-books?

Gees!

Luis Grosss last blog post..StumbleUpon Do’s and Dont’s

Robin: The writing isn’t a bad habit, it’s the fact that I’m doing it until midnight, then getting up at five. Every night. Something’s gotta give, but the writing’s great.

J.D. Meier: Thanks. J.D. That’s a really nice thing to say.

Apathy Lounge: Isn’t it funny how we never quite know where life is going to lead us? If your pen is doing good work, that’s coming from inside; that’s a lot more important than the outside. You’re better off than a decade ago.

Robin: The writing isn’t a bad habit, it’s the fact that I’m doing it until midnight, then getting up at five. Every night. Something’s gotta give, but the writing’s great.

J.D. Meier: Thanks. J.D. That’s a really nice thing to say.

Apathy Lounge: Isn’t it funny how we never quite know where life is going to lead us? If your pen is doing good work, that’s coming from inside; that’s a lot more important than the outside. You’re better off than a decade ago.