Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
~Erica Jong
Last week, the blogger I hearted was Dave Wright from Blogger Dad. This week it’s Rita, from Rita’s Digest.
Rita and I crossed words our first meeting. By the time Writer Dad closed shop for the day, we’d both had our say, along with immediate mutual respect. We’ve disagreed since, but even our strongest disputes conclude with a simple Namasté.
I believe there is no one in Blogopolis who wishes me success more than Rita. She is my biggest cheerleader. As I said earlier this week, the power of praise runs in both directions.
Rita is also my biggest critic.
A couple of weeks back, Rita took me aside. “Check yourself before you wreck yourself,” she said (though not in those words).
You know when you’re running in circles, juggling a dozen things with the speed of a bullet and the accuracy of a shotgun, then you bark your shin without even feeling it, only to find a medley of black and blue by the end of the day?
That’s what I was doing with comments; not just here, but everywhere. Rita’s words made me seriously reconsider my approach. I’ve been wanting to write about the subject for a while, but there’s no need. Rita’s words triggered tremendous talk on Vered’s blog yesterday, and she’s done a splendid job here.
Of course, I have plenty to add, but I’ll do it downstairs.
Enjoy:
“Star Wars,” High School and Blogging
I graduated from High School on a warm May evening in 1977. Though there were 1,400 seniors in my graduating class, ONLY 1,100 met the requirements to graduate that night. The ceremony itself didn’t matter…none of us planned on attending, as there was a new movie opening that night, and we all wanted to see the movie instead. The movie: “Star Wars.” The top 50 or 60 students in the class were ripped apart by our collectively acquainted parents: you may not care about being handed that diploma, but we do. Go to graduation, let us snap a few shots, and then you can see the movie. In agreement, that is how most of my friends and I graduated from High School – in haste.
That was 31 years ago. Certainly, much has happened in that time. One thing that I’ve realized as one daughter graduates college, and one enters, is that life is never the same after High School. I firmly held that belief until one month ago, while blogging. I am now back in High School. Though High School wasn’t too bad at 15 or 16, it has no place in my life as I near 50. Being a blogger is like being in High School.
How is blogging like being in High School again? I’m glad I asked.
1. “I called you yesterday, so it’s your turn to call me today.” Such is the same with commenting on blogs. I stopped commenting on most blogs three weeks ago, though I generally read 20 or so blogs a day, and 40 or more on my “Touch Base Tuesdays.” If I have something to add that hasn’t already been said, something to disagree with, or something I’d like clarified I leave a comment. I have stopped playing “I’ll comment for you if you comment for me.” I DO agree: blogging is a social medium. But my husband, children and “real-life” friends were being short-changed, because I was commenting on so many blogs on which I really had little to say. I have never taken an ad, never expected to make money off of blogging, and never paid attention to the “numbers.” If people wish to read what I have to say, come on over. If you care to leave a comment, I will try to give you a thoughtful response. But expecting “reciprocity” on leaving comments does NOT mean that I’m not reading your blog for the pure enjoyment of it.
2. “Tag, you’re it.” Meme’s can be fun to read at times, but most posts I write are extended meme’s. I have no “theme,” hence I write what is on my mind, and is a reflection of my thoughts. Sometimes I’m in a funny mood, sometimes I’m in a sad mood, and sometimes I just want to get across a point that I feel is important. I DON’T have a favorite post, and it doesn’t really matter what color my eyes are. This is why I generally “refuse” to be tagged. This may make me look old and curmudgeonly, but the only way NOT to play a game is to remove your piece from the board.
3. “I need to hang with the popular crowd.” No, I don’t. I want to “hang” with people who write well, offer interesting perspectives, open my eyes to new ideas or shake me up a bit. I made the mistake early on of hanging with one “popular crowd” – for the most part, a lovely crowd. But, as in High School, there are the Athletes, the Cheerleaders, the “Prom King and Queen,” the Academics – and the solitary person sitting at the lunch table who just moved to town and has nobody to tell about who they are, what their lives are like, what their dreams are. I’ve begun to put my lunch tray down at their tables more recently. Many of them are incredibly “cool,” and offer fresh perspectives.
4. “Here’s Your Summer Reading List.” Perhaps you remember that list of book after book on the same “topic” to be written about on the first day of the new school year. Now it’s bloggers with URL after URL on the same topic. Were I interested in that topic, I would Google it myself, and if I didn’t have a clue about the topic, I would do the same. I read enough blogs. I don’t need a blog that provides lists and lists of OTHER blogs – all of which address the same topic.
5. “Ooh, Teacher, call on me, call on me.” This is the one that gets me the most. Somebody will ask me a question – a GOOD question – and I will research it, try to provide an answer and do so in a way that the person listens to the answer, rather than hears it. But I’m learning, that just as in the classrooms I teach, many people ask questions to look particularly smart – or ignorant – but don’t even care to come back for the answers. That is why I only subscribe to blogs in my email now. I want to read other people’s questions and answers. And I have learned that many of those who ask questions of ME don’t even come back for the answer. I’m always happy – delighted – to answer questions. As a teacher I know that teaching to an empty classroom is a waste of time.
6. “We are a community.” It is true – we are, in many ways, a community. Like a High School class is a community. I bought into that game in blogging, and sold too much of myself for a piece of the action; for just as we are a community, we are also competitors. Bloggers want to be “A+” bloggers, and the way to do that is to insulate yourself so much that the same group of bloggers read and comment with the same group of bloggers. Read the names of the top 10 commenters on the blogs you visit; chances are, most are the same. Bloggers WANT to be seen with the “big blogs” so that, in many cases, the others on the “big blog” lists will come to them. Community or competition?
It may appear that I’m down on blogging. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is many (not all) BLOGGERS that I am down on – starting with myself. I love to write, but I sold out. And I lost too much of myself – and my life. I will continue to blog, but I will treat it as an adult endeavor, for I am an adult. Anybody who wishes to read my words is more than welcome to do so. If you wish to leave a comment, please do; but please don’t feel compelled to do so to “prove” that you were there. I already KNOW who was there, as do you all.
I’m sorry now that I missed most of my High School graduation, as it was a milestone. I ended up missing College graduation, because my grandmother died the day before. These days, I don’t want to miss more things that I will regret, like reading a book, spending time with friends and family and tending to my physical and mental health as I age. Plus I didn’t like “Star Wars” one bit.
Thanks, Rita. Well said.
Writer Dad
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About Sean Platt
Matthew:
First was Rita Hayworth.
Last, I believe was Raquel Welch.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
Matthew:
First was Rita Hayworth.
Last, I believe was Raquel Welch.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
Matthew:
First was Rita Hayworth.
Last, I believe was Raquel Welch.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Tim,
You’re talking semantics, silly! We discussed SO MUCH on the phone: How you hate Writer Dad’s site and his attitude, and his “comment counter” and how he never comes to your blog…you DID hurt me by your comment, you explained what it meant, and we made peace. Oops. I think that was supposed to be “confidential.” Sorry, the mind aint what it used to be. So sorry. Cheeri-o!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Tim,
You’re talking semantics, silly! We discussed SO MUCH on the phone: How you hate Writer Dad’s site and his attitude, and his “comment counter” and how he never comes to your blog…you DID hurt me by your comment, you explained what it meant, and we made peace. Oops. I think that was supposed to be “confidential.” Sorry, the mind aint what it used to be. So sorry. Cheeri-o!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
I didn’t disagree with your post in general. I disagreed with the attitude in which you pounded on Hayden and then Barbara. As for my last post, it was bringing some much needed levity to what has become a trainwreck of a thread.
And no need to bring the nastiness over to my blog. I deleted your comment.
And your last post here, reprehensible. Thank YOU for showing us what adults act like.
Blogger Dads last blog post..An early Halloween treat
I didn’t disagree with your post in general. I disagreed with the attitude in which you pounded on Hayden and then Barbara. As for my last post, it was bringing some much needed levity to what has become a trainwreck of a thread.
And no need to bring the nastiness over to my blog. I deleted your comment.
And your last post here, reprehensible. Thank YOU for showing us what adults act like.
Blogger Dads last blog post..An early Halloween treat
The last post was addressed to Rita, just in case it wasn’t obvious.
Blogger Dads last blog post..An early Halloween treat
The last post was addressed to Rita, just in case it wasn’t obvious.
Blogger Dads last blog post..An early Halloween treat
My head is spinning… I just read this whole thing. Rita, I have to say that a high school attitude would be a serious improvement for you. You’re stuck back in junior high (the girls in jr. high were WAY meaner in my day).
My head is spinning… I just read this whole thing. Rita, I have to say that a high school attitude would be a serious improvement for you. You’re stuck back in junior high (the girls in jr. high were WAY meaner in my day).
The comments in the entry are absolute bullshit. Yeah, we all have our issues with Writer Dad, but if Tim wanted to share his problem with the world, he would have laid it out himself. That’s not your right, you were told something on confidence, and you just shattered your integrity.
Yeah, I once bitched about these things behind the scenes, but I understood, as I’m sure that Tim does, that Sean is a busy guy. He runs a school in his own residence, has two children, and a wife, apparently none of which he neglects, and on top of all that, he’s has all the other crap.
It’s obvious that the whole sidebar is geared towards driving more comments. It’s not a big secret. I kind of hated it too. But I’m writing out my stance on the subject out on my own because I don’t think it’s fair that you singled Tim out, especially in a way that could side-swipe an innocent bystander.
At first I wondered if you were just fired up, but it’s been almost two days since this entry was posted. I don’t hate you Rita, and I care if you’re mean. But I think that if someone tells you something in confidence, it should stay that way. I’m telling you this because I think you’re in danger of taking a swing at people who don’t need to be dragged into your mess. Learn from this Rita, apologize, tap into that humanity that I know is inside of you. Or at least realize that you’ve gone too far. Now is the time, Rita. We all make mistakes, there is always room for forgiveness.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
The comments in the entry are absolute bullshit. Yeah, we all have our issues with Writer Dad, but if Tim wanted to share his problem with the world, he would have laid it out himself. That’s not your right, you were told something on confidence, and you just shattered your integrity.
Yeah, I once bitched about these things behind the scenes, but I understood, as I’m sure that Tim does, that Sean is a busy guy. He runs a school in his own residence, has two children, and a wife, apparently none of which he neglects, and on top of all that, he’s has all the other crap.
It’s obvious that the whole sidebar is geared towards driving more comments. It’s not a big secret. I kind of hated it too. But I’m writing out my stance on the subject out on my own because I don’t think it’s fair that you singled Tim out, especially in a way that could side-swipe an innocent bystander.
At first I wondered if you were just fired up, but it’s been almost two days since this entry was posted. I don’t hate you Rita, and I care if you’re mean. But I think that if someone tells you something in confidence, it should stay that way. I’m telling you this because I think you’re in danger of taking a swing at people who don’t need to be dragged into your mess. Learn from this Rita, apologize, tap into that humanity that I know is inside of you. Or at least realize that you’ve gone too far. Now is the time, Rita. We all make mistakes, there is always room for forgiveness.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
@ Rita – Classy response.
You NEVER heard me say that. You NEVER heard me say I hated anybody it’s a word I NEVER use. I’m confident enough to know that people that will read this know me better. You either have a poor memory or if I was going to be uncharitable I’d say you were lashing out and making stuff up,
I’ll take this off line to the people that matter and let you do what you have to do.
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
@ Rita – Classy response.
You NEVER heard me say that. You NEVER heard me say I hated anybody it’s a word I NEVER use. I’m confident enough to know that people that will read this know me better. You either have a poor memory or if I was going to be uncharitable I’d say you were lashing out and making stuff up,
I’ll take this off line to the people that matter and let you do what you have to do.
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
@ Mathew – Thanks for that, it’s appreciated and you have my utmost respect for stepping in.
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
@ Mathew – Thanks for that, it’s appreciated and you have my utmost respect for stepping in.
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
Matthew: Thank you for your email. I’m thankful you sent it. Yes I drive comments, and think of the comment counter as a blue ribbon. It is gone, and I’m sorry. I’ve tried to be better about my comment behavior, and will continue to do so. I am always approachable, as long as the message is delivered with respect. Discourse is a part of growth. Everyone who reads this blog, especially from the beginning, is seeing me grow every day. I am an honest writer, I do not try to hide behind my words. I try to say what is on my mind, as honestly and attractively as I can. My niche is myself. Not everyone is going to like me. I’m totally cool with that. But if there’s things that I’m doing that I could do better, I’d like the chance to do it. Thanks again, Matthew.
Tim: Thanks for the email. High five for amazing communication.
Matthew: Thank you for your email. I’m thankful you sent it. Yes I drive comments, and think of the comment counter as a blue ribbon. It is gone, and I’m sorry. I’ve tried to be better about my comment behavior, and will continue to do so. I am always approachable, as long as the message is delivered with respect. Discourse is a part of growth. Everyone who reads this blog, especially from the beginning, is seeing me grow every day. I am an honest writer, I do not try to hide behind my words. I try to say what is on my mind, as honestly and attractively as I can. My niche is myself. Not everyone is going to like me. I’m totally cool with that. But if there’s things that I’m doing that I could do better, I’d like the chance to do it. Thanks again, Matthew.
Tim: Thanks for the email. High five for amazing communication.
@Writer Dad: The only thing I felt about your comment counter was jealousy, and I mean that in a good way. On the one hand, I know that if I want delicious discussion, I come to Writer Dad, on the other hand…I wish it were me.
And please, relax about your comment behavior. I’m sure we’ve all done it. Hell, I just did it last week when I claimed reader bankruptcy. I just don’t have the time.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
@Writer Dad: The only thing I felt about your comment counter was jealousy, and I mean that in a good way. On the one hand, I know that if I want delicious discussion, I come to Writer Dad, on the other hand…I wish it were me.
And please, relax about your comment behavior. I’m sure we’ve all done it. Hell, I just did it last week when I claimed reader bankruptcy. I just don’t have the time.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
To the technologically literate community with manners and levity, hats off! To the community without manners, it is a pleasure to know you have taken your marbles and gone home. This experience has been enlightening. Anger, selfishness and greed should be a fire stoked in a personal campsite. Cooperation, collaboration, and community is always celebrated. Great minds run through the same river. Glad to paddle along with a community that is mindful of honor, respect, and can choose to voice personal comments in an appropriate way. ^ 5 Write On!
Daisys last blog post..Cut the Cable, Cut the Crap.
To the technologically literate community with manners and levity, hats off! To the community without manners, it is a pleasure to know you have taken your marbles and gone home. This experience has been enlightening. Anger, selfishness and greed should be a fire stoked in a personal campsite. Cooperation, collaboration, and community is always celebrated. Great minds run through the same river. Glad to paddle along with a community that is mindful of honor, respect, and can choose to voice personal comments in an appropriate way. ^ 5 Write On!
Daisys last blog post..Cut the Cable, Cut the Crap.
wow….
I’m wondering if I need to break out my black parachute pants with the grey zippers and my black fingerless lace gloves to go with that neon pink sweatshirt and black belt over the sweatshirt. Oh yeah, and I had a black fedora and matching neon pink socks.
High School totally ROCKS!
Kool Aids last blog post..the wheels are turning
wow….
I’m wondering if I need to break out my black parachute pants with the grey zippers and my black fingerless lace gloves to go with that neon pink sweatshirt and black belt over the sweatshirt. Oh yeah, and I had a black fedora and matching neon pink socks.
High School totally ROCKS!
Kool Aids last blog post..the wheels are turning
What in the hell just went on here? Late to the “party…” though I’m kind of glad!
Huh.
Yucky.
Not that I won’t be back, of course. I really like Sean.
Things felt a little dirty in the comments to say the least, though. Hey, it sucks for blog owners to have this happen. It ruins things. When we’re here, it’s like we’re at a person’s house, right. I guess we need to remember that.
stephs last blog post..The Woohoo! Report
What in the hell just went on here? Late to the “party…” though I’m kind of glad!
Huh.
Yucky.
Not that I won’t be back, of course. I really like Sean.
Things felt a little dirty in the comments to say the least, though. Hey, it sucks for blog owners to have this happen. It ruins things. When we’re here, it’s like we’re at a person’s house, right. I guess we need to remember that.
stephs last blog post..The Woohoo! Report
So, um… who is next week’s guest blogger?
They’ll have quite the act to follow.
So, um… who is next week’s guest blogger?
They’ll have quite the act to follow.
So, um… who is next week’s guest blogger?
They’ll have quite the act to follow.
May I offer my services?
May I offer my services?
I’m probably the only one who’d want to follow this. Probably because I’m crazy.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
I’m probably the only one who’d want to follow this. Probably because I’m crazy.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
I’m probably the only one who’d want to follow this. Probably because I’m crazy.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Why Do You Always Make Me Shout At You?
LMAO, Genghis Khan!!
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How Will Life Challenge You?
LMAO, Genghis Khan!!
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How Will Life Challenge You?
LMAO, Genghis Khan!!
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How Will Life Challenge You?
Oh my….This is my first time on this blog. I have seen writer dad’s name on other sites and decided to stroll over for a peek. Not what I expected but I will be back to see what writer dad has on a typical post.
As far as the post itself, I benefit from you bloggers comments on each others blogs. It helps me to decide where I might venture next in this world. I have no blog myself. I just like to read the posts and enter into the conversation. I like to pose questions back to perhaps add a slant that may not have been thought of before. I don’t mind if someone disagrees with me. Tim for example has disagreed with me on several issues. We are really polar opposites politically and while I read his many pokes at poor Palin, I have not personally been offended. I CHOSE not to be offended. I think Tim’s Palin pokes are funny. I feel comfortable disagreeing with both Tim and Hayden (both whom I respect as bloggers and love to read) because I know that if they disagree with me, they will discuss the issue and not attack me. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Disagreement and respectful discussions of those disagreements is where we are given opportunities to grow in our thinking.
Rita has a difficult time, it seems, to discuss the issue without making it personal. What she said by revealing a private discussion between her and Tim was not discussing the issue. It was trying to cause some ill feelings between him and writer dad. I am confused about why that seemed like the right thing to do. It seemed to move into the arena of bullying and manipulation. A power play to one up another person. I have been a reader of Tim’s for a while now, I have read his books, talked to him on email, and he even donated some time to me for a phone call pro bono when I needed some advice. I have found Tim to be of outstanding character and would believe what he says as truthful.
Hayden is a breath of fresh air. She is idealistic but that is what I need sometimes in this world where negativity seems to reign. She has great insight for such a young lady. I wish I had it that together when I was her age. She has my respect.
As for Rita, I find her too risky to venture to her site. I would want to speak my mind but it wouldn’t be worth the verbal assault that I could be setting myself up for.
As a person who doesn’t have a blog, I do sometimes just want to say, “Hey I loved this post!” That is because it moved me and while I may not have anything huge to add to the conversation, I want the writer to know that his/her words mattered to me. As a writer myself, I like to know if my words moved someone in some way. I think other writers like to know that as well.
So Writer Dad, I will be back. I think that the train wreck, as you put it, didn’t scare me away from this site but Rita’s. I know she will not lose sleep over that and that’s fine. But the integrity of the various players spoke in their comments here, and while with some, that was a good thing, with others it was not.
Remember disagreement is good. Discussions are good but discuss the issue and not the attributes of the person making the disagreeing comment.
Have a great day everyone. :O)
Oh my….This is my first time on this blog. I have seen writer dad’s name on other sites and decided to stroll over for a peek. Not what I expected but I will be back to see what writer dad has on a typical post.
As far as the post itself, I benefit from you bloggers comments on each others blogs. It helps me to decide where I might venture next in this world. I have no blog myself. I just like to read the posts and enter into the conversation. I like to pose questions back to perhaps add a slant that may not have been thought of before. I don’t mind if someone disagrees with me. Tim for example has disagreed with me on several issues. We are really polar opposites politically and while I read his many pokes at poor Palin, I have not personally been offended. I CHOSE not to be offended. I think Tim’s Palin pokes are funny. I feel comfortable disagreeing with both Tim and Hayden (both whom I respect as bloggers and love to read) because I know that if they disagree with me, they will discuss the issue and not attack me. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Disagreement and respectful discussions of those disagreements is where we are given opportunities to grow in our thinking.
Rita has a difficult time, it seems, to discuss the issue without making it personal. What she said by revealing a private discussion between her and Tim was not discussing the issue. It was trying to cause some ill feelings between him and writer dad. I am confused about why that seemed like the right thing to do. It seemed to move into the arena of bullying and manipulation. A power play to one up another person. I have been a reader of Tim’s for a while now, I have read his books, talked to him on email, and he even donated some time to me for a phone call pro bono when I needed some advice. I have found Tim to be of outstanding character and would believe what he says as truthful.
Hayden is a breath of fresh air. She is idealistic but that is what I need sometimes in this world where negativity seems to reign. She has great insight for such a young lady. I wish I had it that together when I was her age. She has my respect.
As for Rita, I find her too risky to venture to her site. I would want to speak my mind but it wouldn’t be worth the verbal assault that I could be setting myself up for.
As a person who doesn’t have a blog, I do sometimes just want to say, “Hey I loved this post!” That is because it moved me and while I may not have anything huge to add to the conversation, I want the writer to know that his/her words mattered to me. As a writer myself, I like to know if my words moved someone in some way. I think other writers like to know that as well.
So Writer Dad, I will be back. I think that the train wreck, as you put it, didn’t scare me away from this site but Rita’s. I know she will not lose sleep over that and that’s fine. But the integrity of the various players spoke in their comments here, and while with some, that was a good thing, with others it was not.
Remember disagreement is good. Discussions are good but discuss the issue and not the attributes of the person making the disagreeing comment.
Have a great day everyone. :O)
@Writer Dad and Steph
Wow…I left this party about 80 comments ago…everyone was happy and having fun. Now I come back, and the house is trashed!
Seems some guests drank too much, and got out of control, and tried to pick a few fights.
Not your fault, Writer Dad. As a host, you did your best to make sure everyone got along.
I think it’s some OTHER guests that owe you an apology.
Friars last blog post..Getting to Know More People in Your NeighborHood.
@Writer Dad and Steph
Wow…I left this party about 80 comments ago…everyone was happy and having fun. Now I come back, and the house is trashed!
Seems some guests drank too much, and got out of control, and tried to pick a few fights.
Not your fault, Writer Dad. As a host, you did your best to make sure everyone got along.
I think it’s some OTHER guests that owe you an apology.
Friars last blog post..Getting to Know More People in Your NeighborHood.
This is totally a “Who crapped in the fish bowl?” moment.
See, THIS is why we can’t have nice things!
This is totally a “Who crapped in the fish bowl?” moment.
See, THIS is why we can’t have nice things!
Well, I missed this entire “episode.” I’d heard about it and finally made it over to see what all the fuss was about.
This is the first time I’ve seen this side of blogging and I’m glad I wasn’t caught in the middle.
I enjoyed the post by Rita and I’m sorry about all the judgment and confusion and bashing that has happened.
I enjoyed Rita’s blog before it changed, and I still enjoy Barbara’s blog. I get different things from different blogs. I know that we are adults, and we are also human. Unfortunately we have egos and they are spoiled brats. They spoil our perspectives of each other.
Davinas last blog post..A Ghostly Life Experience
Well, I missed this entire “episode.” I’d heard about it and finally made it over to see what all the fuss was about.
This is the first time I’ve seen this side of blogging and I’m glad I wasn’t caught in the middle.
I enjoyed the post by Rita and I’m sorry about all the judgment and confusion and bashing that has happened.
I enjoyed Rita’s blog before it changed, and I still enjoy Barbara’s blog. I get different things from different blogs. I know that we are adults, and we are also human. Unfortunately we have egos and they are spoiled brats. They spoil our perspectives of each other.
Davinas last blog post..A Ghostly Life Experience