Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
~Erica Jong
Last week, the blogger I hearted was Dave Wright from Blogger Dad. This week it’s Rita, from Rita’s Digest.
Rita and I crossed words our first meeting. By the time Writer Dad closed shop for the day, we’d both had our say, along with immediate mutual respect. We’ve disagreed since, but even our strongest disputes conclude with a simple Namasté.
I believe there is no one in Blogopolis who wishes me success more than Rita. She is my biggest cheerleader. As I said earlier this week, the power of praise runs in both directions.
Rita is also my biggest critic.
A couple of weeks back, Rita took me aside. “Check yourself before you wreck yourself,” she said (though not in those words).
You know when you’re running in circles, juggling a dozen things with the speed of a bullet and the accuracy of a shotgun, then you bark your shin without even feeling it, only to find a medley of black and blue by the end of the day?
That’s what I was doing with comments; not just here, but everywhere. Rita’s words made me seriously reconsider my approach. I’ve been wanting to write about the subject for a while, but there’s no need. Rita’s words triggered tremendous talk on Vered’s blog yesterday, and she’s done a splendid job here.
Of course, I have plenty to add, but I’ll do it downstairs.
Enjoy:
“Star Wars,” High School and Blogging
I graduated from High School on a warm May evening in 1977. Though there were 1,400 seniors in my graduating class, ONLY 1,100 met the requirements to graduate that night. The ceremony itself didn’t matter…none of us planned on attending, as there was a new movie opening that night, and we all wanted to see the movie instead. The movie: “Star Wars.” The top 50 or 60 students in the class were ripped apart by our collectively acquainted parents: you may not care about being handed that diploma, but we do. Go to graduation, let us snap a few shots, and then you can see the movie. In agreement, that is how most of my friends and I graduated from High School – in haste.
That was 31 years ago. Certainly, much has happened in that time. One thing that I’ve realized as one daughter graduates college, and one enters, is that life is never the same after High School. I firmly held that belief until one month ago, while blogging. I am now back in High School. Though High School wasn’t too bad at 15 or 16, it has no place in my life as I near 50. Being a blogger is like being in High School.
How is blogging like being in High School again? I’m glad I asked.
1. “I called you yesterday, so it’s your turn to call me today.” Such is the same with commenting on blogs. I stopped commenting on most blogs three weeks ago, though I generally read 20 or so blogs a day, and 40 or more on my “Touch Base Tuesdays.” If I have something to add that hasn’t already been said, something to disagree with, or something I’d like clarified I leave a comment. I have stopped playing “I’ll comment for you if you comment for me.” I DO agree: blogging is a social medium. But my husband, children and “real-life” friends were being short-changed, because I was commenting on so many blogs on which I really had little to say. I have never taken an ad, never expected to make money off of blogging, and never paid attention to the “numbers.” If people wish to read what I have to say, come on over. If you care to leave a comment, I will try to give you a thoughtful response. But expecting “reciprocity” on leaving comments does NOT mean that I’m not reading your blog for the pure enjoyment of it.
2. “Tag, you’re it.” Meme’s can be fun to read at times, but most posts I write are extended meme’s. I have no “theme,” hence I write what is on my mind, and is a reflection of my thoughts. Sometimes I’m in a funny mood, sometimes I’m in a sad mood, and sometimes I just want to get across a point that I feel is important. I DON’T have a favorite post, and it doesn’t really matter what color my eyes are. This is why I generally “refuse” to be tagged. This may make me look old and curmudgeonly, but the only way NOT to play a game is to remove your piece from the board.
3. “I need to hang with the popular crowd.” No, I don’t. I want to “hang” with people who write well, offer interesting perspectives, open my eyes to new ideas or shake me up a bit. I made the mistake early on of hanging with one “popular crowd” – for the most part, a lovely crowd. But, as in High School, there are the Athletes, the Cheerleaders, the “Prom King and Queen,” the Academics – and the solitary person sitting at the lunch table who just moved to town and has nobody to tell about who they are, what their lives are like, what their dreams are. I’ve begun to put my lunch tray down at their tables more recently. Many of them are incredibly “cool,” and offer fresh perspectives.
4. “Here’s Your Summer Reading List.” Perhaps you remember that list of book after book on the same “topic” to be written about on the first day of the new school year. Now it’s bloggers with URL after URL on the same topic. Were I interested in that topic, I would Google it myself, and if I didn’t have a clue about the topic, I would do the same. I read enough blogs. I don’t need a blog that provides lists and lists of OTHER blogs – all of which address the same topic.
5. “Ooh, Teacher, call on me, call on me.” This is the one that gets me the most. Somebody will ask me a question – a GOOD question – and I will research it, try to provide an answer and do so in a way that the person listens to the answer, rather than hears it. But I’m learning, that just as in the classrooms I teach, many people ask questions to look particularly smart – or ignorant – but don’t even care to come back for the answers. That is why I only subscribe to blogs in my email now. I want to read other people’s questions and answers. And I have learned that many of those who ask questions of ME don’t even come back for the answer. I’m always happy – delighted – to answer questions. As a teacher I know that teaching to an empty classroom is a waste of time.
6. “We are a community.” It is true – we are, in many ways, a community. Like a High School class is a community. I bought into that game in blogging, and sold too much of myself for a piece of the action; for just as we are a community, we are also competitors. Bloggers want to be “A+” bloggers, and the way to do that is to insulate yourself so much that the same group of bloggers read and comment with the same group of bloggers. Read the names of the top 10 commenters on the blogs you visit; chances are, most are the same. Bloggers WANT to be seen with the “big blogs” so that, in many cases, the others on the “big blog” lists will come to them. Community or competition?
It may appear that I’m down on blogging. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is many (not all) BLOGGERS that I am down on – starting with myself. I love to write, but I sold out. And I lost too much of myself – and my life. I will continue to blog, but I will treat it as an adult endeavor, for I am an adult. Anybody who wishes to read my words is more than welcome to do so. If you wish to leave a comment, please do; but please don’t feel compelled to do so to “prove” that you were there. I already KNOW who was there, as do you all.
I’m sorry now that I missed most of my High School graduation, as it was a milestone. I ended up missing College graduation, because my grandmother died the day before. These days, I don’t want to miss more things that I will regret, like reading a book, spending time with friends and family and tending to my physical and mental health as I age. Plus I didn’t like “Star Wars” one bit.
Thanks, Rita. Well said.
Writer Dad
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CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Lessons From A Blogging Blockhead
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CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Lessons From A Blogging Blockhead
Blogging IS a lot like High School, especially with the little cliques.
Like the “Cool Kids” who only let a select few into their group. And the Wannabees who wanna be like them, and keep telling them how great they are.
Everyone wants to get noticed by the Most Popular Girl in School and the Captain of the Football team. .
The Nerds and Geeks write very intelligently, but are underappreciated and can’t seem to attract any readers. Then there’s the “Goth Crowd” that refuse to conform, they’re loners and they don’t care.
Finally, there’s the Teachers who try to get the class to pay attention, not always successfully.
It’s one big popularity contest.
I was never into that. When I was a teen, I just did my own thing. I ended up being the Class Clown: a role I was (and still am) very comforatable with.
Hmmm..now that I think of it, nothing much has changed since High School. ;-)
Friars last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
Blogging IS a lot like High School, especially with the little cliques.
Like the “Cool Kids” who only let a select few into their group. And the Wannabees who wanna be like them, and keep telling them how great they are.
Everyone wants to get noticed by the Most Popular Girl in School and the Captain of the Football team. .
The Nerds and Geeks write very intelligently, but are underappreciated and can’t seem to attract any readers. Then there’s the “Goth Crowd” that refuse to conform, they’re loners and they don’t care.
Finally, there’s the Teachers who try to get the class to pay attention, not always successfully.
It’s one big popularity contest.
I was never into that. When I was a teen, I just did my own thing. I ended up being the Class Clown: a role I was (and still am) very comforatable with.
Hmmm..now that I think of it, nothing much has changed since High School. ;-)
Friars last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
Blogging IS a lot like High School, especially with the little cliques.
Like the “Cool Kids” who only let a select few into their group. And the Wannabees who wanna be like them, and keep telling them how great they are.
Everyone wants to get noticed by the Most Popular Girl in School and the Captain of the Football team. .
The Nerds and Geeks write very intelligently, but are underappreciated and can’t seem to attract any readers. Then there’s the “Goth Crowd” that refuse to conform, they’re loners and they don’t care.
Finally, there’s the Teachers who try to get the class to pay attention, not always successfully.
It’s one big popularity contest.
I was never into that. When I was a teen, I just did my own thing. I ended up being the Class Clown: a role I was (and still am) very comforatable with.
Hmmm..now that I think of it, nothing much has changed since High School. ;-)
Friars last blog post..Things About the Workplace I Don’t Wanna Understand
Rita – This is brilliant and so true. I never knew folk asked you questions and never came back to see the answers. That is totally pointless and rude. I only ask you questions because I want to know the answers.
I stopped commenting on a lot of blogs months ago but I felt the pressure to join in and become part of the community. And I do like the community part of it – trouble is, as you say, some of it is not really proper community. How can folk who flit round making pointless comments on blog posts they don’t even read, really make any real sort of connection with folk?
I also think the huge comment communities which have sprung up over the last few months can cause another harmful illusion. You see, I used to think it was great that these communities encouraged a lot of new bloggers to keep going.
But the sad fact is, some of them shouldn’t keep going at all and it’s unfair of us to encourage them to do so. I only read blogs I enjoy but I must admit, I have come across some really bad blogs that are part of these comment communities.
Some of them are written so badly that it’s pretty obvious the writer doesn’t even like writing, or care about the quality of what they’ve written, so long as they get a heap of comments. I even read a comment the other day where the blogger admitted they didn’t like writing. So why on earth do they bother?
Others I’ll read and think – WTF was that meant to say – and does the writer even understand what they’ve written? And don’t get me started on some of the ones which are so obviously plagiarised from text books, with a few words changed.
Regarding memes, I avoided them at first. But I must admit, I gave in to temptation eventually. I shouldn’t have, as they really have no place on my blog – I’ve already deleted one of them.
Rita – This is brilliant and so true. I never knew folk asked you questions and never came back to see the answers. That is totally pointless and rude. I only ask you questions because I want to know the answers.
I stopped commenting on a lot of blogs months ago but I felt the pressure to join in and become part of the community. And I do like the community part of it – trouble is, as you say, some of it is not really proper community. How can folk who flit round making pointless comments on blog posts they don’t even read, really make any real sort of connection with folk?
I also think the huge comment communities which have sprung up over the last few months can cause another harmful illusion. You see, I used to think it was great that these communities encouraged a lot of new bloggers to keep going.
But the sad fact is, some of them shouldn’t keep going at all and it’s unfair of us to encourage them to do so. I only read blogs I enjoy but I must admit, I have come across some really bad blogs that are part of these comment communities.
Some of them are written so badly that it’s pretty obvious the writer doesn’t even like writing, or care about the quality of what they’ve written, so long as they get a heap of comments. I even read a comment the other day where the blogger admitted they didn’t like writing. So why on earth do they bother?
Others I’ll read and think – WTF was that meant to say – and does the writer even understand what they’ve written? And don’t get me started on some of the ones which are so obviously plagiarised from text books, with a few words changed.
Regarding memes, I avoided them at first. But I must admit, I gave in to temptation eventually. I shouldn’t have, as they really have no place on my blog – I’ve already deleted one of them.
Wendi: Then forest fire it is. : > ) This mentality exists in toddlers, adolescents, and adults. It exists in people period. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t happen to us.
Urban Panther: Well said. It’s fine to start out in a fury, but it’s imperative that we re-calibrate before it’s too late. I’m not quite at a comfortable, manageable routine, but I’m confident I’ll get there.
VodkaMom: I tell my wife that she’s spread so thin she’s starting to look invisible. There isn’t enough time, and it’s paramount to prioritize.
Oktober Five: Hey, Oktober. It’s beautiful to see you. Your points are very well made. It is far more important to be creative and stay true to the reasons we got started. It’s also important to raise our voices when we have something genuine to say. Empire Strikes Back is when it really got good.
CK Lunchbox: Best. Comment. Ever.
Friar: I’m with you, buddy. Class clown all the way.
Cath: Thanks for dropping by. I love smart ladies.
Wendi: Then forest fire it is. : > ) This mentality exists in toddlers, adolescents, and adults. It exists in people period. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t happen to us.
Urban Panther: Well said. It’s fine to start out in a fury, but it’s imperative that we re-calibrate before it’s too late. I’m not quite at a comfortable, manageable routine, but I’m confident I’ll get there.
VodkaMom: I tell my wife that she’s spread so thin she’s starting to look invisible. There isn’t enough time, and it’s paramount to prioritize.
Oktober Five: Hey, Oktober. It’s beautiful to see you. Your points are very well made. It is far more important to be creative and stay true to the reasons we got started. It’s also important to raise our voices when we have something genuine to say. Empire Strikes Back is when it really got good.
CK Lunchbox: Best. Comment. Ever.
Friar: I’m with you, buddy. Class clown all the way.
Cath: Thanks for dropping by. I love smart ladies.
@ Scott: The biggest impact I’m trying to make is on newer bloggers; if you feel that “blood-sucking vampire” even beginning – re-think. I agree100% with Writer Dad: come back in a month or two, and then let’s see how you feel…and good luck on your blog!
@ Julie: I am in total agreement with your agreement of what I stated! :-) I, too, like simple. Design means little to me. The quality and value of what is being said could be on a brown paper bag. If it’s good, I’m there!
@ Wendi: You are, ironically, one of the few exceptions to the points I make. Sometimes I go to your blog, sometimes you come to my blog, but I feel a respect with and from you that you are NOT into the “reciporcity” game. (And thanks for the compliment on the writing.)
@ Hayden: Other than throwing a few of my words back at me, I have NO idea what you’re talking about – or why you commented…sorry.
@ Tim: I’ve taken a LOT of flak for not putting people’s “last post” on my comment area. My comment area is not meant to be used as advertising space. I don’t take ads – from anyone.
As to your Palin comment, one topic I tend to avoid is poitics. However, you could forego the Moose Suit and just send her hunting with Dick Cheney. :-)
@ Miguel: Ig you do not remember who you ask questions of, I can only assume that you leave a huge quanitity of comments. If somebody asks me a question in my comments, I will do my darndest to answer it. To give ME work to do for YOU just for the sake of your leaving a comment is, frankly, a bit insulting. I wonder if the insight frim your Siberian teacher addresses what it feels like to getting asked questions that the questioner has no interest in having answered.
@ Urban Panther: I agree with what you are saying 100%. But sometimes that “comforatble routine” starts to grow tiresome – and the love starts to diminish. I want that love back, and the ony way to do it is by “breaking away” from a routine that has become so tiresome and time-consuming that you have to leave what has turned into an “uncomfortable bondage.” I’m glad that hasn’t happened to you.
@ vodkamom: I, too, am still struggling with it. But even the blogs I love occasionally address a topic that just doesn’t appeal to me that day – or that week. That’s the perfect opportunity for me to try something new – or take some time to myself. But I WILL go back to that beloved blog for the next post. I have yet to see a blog where EVERY post is something that interests me.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – Part I
@ Scott: The biggest impact I’m trying to make is on newer bloggers; if you feel that “blood-sucking vampire” even beginning – re-think. I agree100% with Writer Dad: come back in a month or two, and then let’s see how you feel…and good luck on your blog!
@ Julie: I am in total agreement with your agreement of what I stated! :-) I, too, like simple. Design means little to me. The quality and value of what is being said could be on a brown paper bag. If it’s good, I’m there!
@ Wendi: You are, ironically, one of the few exceptions to the points I make. Sometimes I go to your blog, sometimes you come to my blog, but I feel a respect with and from you that you are NOT into the “reciporcity” game. (And thanks for the compliment on the writing.)
@ Hayden: Other than throwing a few of my words back at me, I have NO idea what you’re talking about – or why you commented…sorry.
@ Tim: I’ve taken a LOT of flak for not putting people’s “last post” on my comment area. My comment area is not meant to be used as advertising space. I don’t take ads – from anyone.
As to your Palin comment, one topic I tend to avoid is poitics. However, you could forego the Moose Suit and just send her hunting with Dick Cheney. :-)
@ Miguel: Ig you do not remember who you ask questions of, I can only assume that you leave a huge quanitity of comments. If somebody asks me a question in my comments, I will do my darndest to answer it. To give ME work to do for YOU just for the sake of your leaving a comment is, frankly, a bit insulting. I wonder if the insight frim your Siberian teacher addresses what it feels like to getting asked questions that the questioner has no interest in having answered.
@ Urban Panther: I agree with what you are saying 100%. But sometimes that “comforatble routine” starts to grow tiresome – and the love starts to diminish. I want that love back, and the ony way to do it is by “breaking away” from a routine that has become so tiresome and time-consuming that you have to leave what has turned into an “uncomfortable bondage.” I’m glad that hasn’t happened to you.
@ vodkamom: I, too, am still struggling with it. But even the blogs I love occasionally address a topic that just doesn’t appeal to me that day – or that week. That’s the perfect opportunity for me to try something new – or take some time to myself. But I WILL go back to that beloved blog for the next post. I have yet to see a blog where EVERY post is something that interests me.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – Part I
Okay, no I actually do have one, and yes, I’m going to echo the collective sigh of relief I’m hearing in the above comments. I’m lucky to have a number of regular readers who comment and I enjoy the banter back and forth with them.
At the same time, however, I’d prefer that people not comment on my posts if they feel it’s their only ticket to getting me back to their site. There are a number of blogs out their that I really enjoy, but I enjoy them because the realness of the people behind them shows through in their content and I’ll continue to come back whether they comment or not.
If I don’t comment, it’s not meant to blow them off. One of my rules for comments is to not leave one unless I actually have something that will add to the discussion (debating it or affirming it). And it must be sincere. No, “You’z da bomb” sort of junk. People recognize when comments are just meant to get you to their site.
The double edged sword for blogging is that it gives anyone, especially aspiring writers, free access to any audience that they can get their url in front of. Comments (and stat counters) provide that immediate gratification many writers crave in order to prop up their insecurities. Panhandling for comments then leads to a false sense of reaching your potential as a writer. It’s like calling yourself a Supermodel because a few people complimented your photo spread from Glamor Shots. I digress.
I’ve been at this place before, lest anyone reading this think I’m leaning back in the saddle on my high horse here. I still do this at times, and as such have seriously considered closing off comments. Not to kill readership, but to focus on providing better content.
I’d rather be and A+ writer (and person), than an A+ blogger.
Thanks for the post and thanks Writer Dad for fronting Rita today.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Lessons From A Blogging Blockhead
Okay, no I actually do have one, and yes, I’m going to echo the collective sigh of relief I’m hearing in the above comments. I’m lucky to have a number of regular readers who comment and I enjoy the banter back and forth with them.
At the same time, however, I’d prefer that people not comment on my posts if they feel it’s their only ticket to getting me back to their site. There are a number of blogs out their that I really enjoy, but I enjoy them because the realness of the people behind them shows through in their content and I’ll continue to come back whether they comment or not.
If I don’t comment, it’s not meant to blow them off. One of my rules for comments is to not leave one unless I actually have something that will add to the discussion (debating it or affirming it). And it must be sincere. No, “You’z da bomb” sort of junk. People recognize when comments are just meant to get you to their site.
The double edged sword for blogging is that it gives anyone, especially aspiring writers, free access to any audience that they can get their url in front of. Comments (and stat counters) provide that immediate gratification many writers crave in order to prop up their insecurities. Panhandling for comments then leads to a false sense of reaching your potential as a writer. It’s like calling yourself a Supermodel because a few people complimented your photo spread from Glamor Shots. I digress.
I’ve been at this place before, lest anyone reading this think I’m leaning back in the saddle on my high horse here. I still do this at times, and as such have seriously considered closing off comments. Not to kill readership, but to focus on providing better content.
I’d rather be and A+ writer (and person), than an A+ blogger.
Thanks for the post and thanks Writer Dad for fronting Rita today.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Lessons From A Blogging Blockhead
@ Oktober Five: I certainly hope that my last line about “Star Wars” didn’t diminish what I wrote – or me – in your eyes…sometimes a blogger’s gotta do what a blogger’s gotta do! Titles are important, I believe, and if I “rope” people in to read what I’m saying by havin “Star Wars” in the Title, then my bog has been a success nonetheless!
@Friar: I have never seen you compromise, agree with a blogger just for the sake of agreement, or be anything other than what you are: an intelligent, yet funny person. You are the farthest thing from a “lemming” as anyone I’ve ever known – right Perfessor? :-)
@ Cath: You’re right, I agree, You’re on the Money and Yes. You touched upon a few things that I avoided: the sometimes “incestuous” nature of the blogging “community” – there actually “COMMUNITIES.” And, of course, though we all make mistakes and typos, I won’t waste my time on someby whose blog starts “your smart and their are things you and me agree on.” That’s not writing – it’s a call for help! Thanks for what you wrote. Your someone who did good. :-)
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – Part I
@ Oktober Five: I certainly hope that my last line about “Star Wars” didn’t diminish what I wrote – or me – in your eyes…sometimes a blogger’s gotta do what a blogger’s gotta do! Titles are important, I believe, and if I “rope” people in to read what I’m saying by havin “Star Wars” in the Title, then my bog has been a success nonetheless!
@Friar: I have never seen you compromise, agree with a blogger just for the sake of agreement, or be anything other than what you are: an intelligent, yet funny person. You are the farthest thing from a “lemming” as anyone I’ve ever known – right Perfessor? :-)
@ Cath: You’re right, I agree, You’re on the Money and Yes. You touched upon a few things that I avoided: the sometimes “incestuous” nature of the blogging “community” – there actually “COMMUNITIES.” And, of course, though we all make mistakes and typos, I won’t waste my time on someby whose blog starts “your smart and their are things you and me agree on.” That’s not writing – it’s a call for help! Thanks for what you wrote. Your someone who did good. :-)
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – Part I
I have to chime in and agree with Rita’s observations. Rita put me on her blogroll (jewelryblogger) and I’ve got to say that after writing posts and posting up to date news and events in the jewelry industry on my blog, I finally gave up:-)
I recently submitted a few posts to Rita (I’m now a political pundit contributor) and enjoyed writing those articles and posting them on Rita’s blog, as opposed to my own.
I actually feel I got more out of writing as a guest blogger then focusing on updating my own blog.
Thanks for reading,
John
I have to chime in and agree with Rita’s observations. Rita put me on her blogroll (jewelryblogger) and I’ve got to say that after writing posts and posting up to date news and events in the jewelry industry on my blog, I finally gave up:-)
I recently submitted a few posts to Rita (I’m now a political pundit contributor) and enjoyed writing those articles and posting them on Rita’s blog, as opposed to my own.
I actually feel I got more out of writing as a guest blogger then focusing on updating my own blog.
Thanks for reading,
John
I’ve never been to your blog but found it today. Why? Because I’m looking for more dad blogs to read. I just started my blog as an exercise in writing and now as practice for NaNoWriMo but it’s been a blast. I find Rita’s comments spot on. I’m not sure about the HS mentality, certainly the HS experience, good or not, has a tremendous impact on who we are as adults. That said, we grow from that or smother it whichever is suitable. I visit sites I like but, like Blogger Dad, am more inclined to leave comments to make public my blog — but it is killing two birds with one stone. I get to read more blogs and hopefully more people will read mine which are both good things. Regardless, we all want to be wanted and that will never end. We all want to be liked, praised, loved and trusted as authorities in our own particular cellar of the world. Maybe in blogging it’s just the approach that matters. Best of luck Writer Dad, I’ll be bookmarking your blog, reading and yes, commenting!
Punditdads last blog post..How I Voted & Why
I’ve never been to your blog but found it today. Why? Because I’m looking for more dad blogs to read. I just started my blog as an exercise in writing and now as practice for NaNoWriMo but it’s been a blast. I find Rita’s comments spot on. I’m not sure about the HS mentality, certainly the HS experience, good or not, has a tremendous impact on who we are as adults. That said, we grow from that or smother it whichever is suitable. I visit sites I like but, like Blogger Dad, am more inclined to leave comments to make public my blog — but it is killing two birds with one stone. I get to read more blogs and hopefully more people will read mine which are both good things. Regardless, we all want to be wanted and that will never end. We all want to be liked, praised, loved and trusted as authorities in our own particular cellar of the world. Maybe in blogging it’s just the approach that matters. Best of luck Writer Dad, I’ll be bookmarking your blog, reading and yes, commenting!
Punditdads last blog post..How I Voted & Why
I’ve never been to your blog but found it today. Why? Because I’m looking for more dad blogs to read. I just started my blog as an exercise in writing and now as practice for NaNoWriMo but it’s been a blast. I find Rita’s comments spot on. I’m not sure about the HS mentality, certainly the HS experience, good or not, has a tremendous impact on who we are as adults. That said, we grow from that or smother it whichever is suitable. I visit sites I like but, like Blogger Dad, am more inclined to leave comments to make public my blog — but it is killing two birds with one stone. I get to read more blogs and hopefully more people will read mine which are both good things. Regardless, we all want to be wanted and that will never end. We all want to be liked, praised, loved and trusted as authorities in our own particular cellar of the world. Maybe in blogging it’s just the approach that matters. Best of luck Writer Dad, I’ll be bookmarking your blog, reading and yes, commenting!
Punditdads last blog post..How I Voted & Why
Hi, I’ve been reading WriterDad for a short while, and I thoroughly enjoy your insights, especially the ones in this post. As a high school educator I have to say: it is truly amazing how little high school has changed in the last 30 years. I might also point out that I would rather our students skip graduation for a movie than show up (and give speeches!) drunk out of their minds, as happened last year.
Hi, I’ve been reading WriterDad for a short while, and I thoroughly enjoy your insights, especially the ones in this post. As a high school educator I have to say: it is truly amazing how little high school has changed in the last 30 years. I might also point out that I would rather our students skip graduation for a movie than show up (and give speeches!) drunk out of their minds, as happened last year.
Hi, I’ve been reading WriterDad for a short while, and I thoroughly enjoy your insights, especially the ones in this post. As a high school educator I have to say: it is truly amazing how little high school has changed in the last 30 years. I might also point out that I would rather our students skip graduation for a movie than show up (and give speeches!) drunk out of their minds, as happened last year.
Hi, I’ve been reading WriterDad for a short while, and I thoroughly enjoy your insights, especially the ones in this post. As a high school educator I have to say: it is truly amazing how little high school has changed in the last 30 years. I might also point out that I would rather our students skip graduation for a movie than show up (and give speeches!) drunk out of their minds, as happened last year.
@Rita
Er.
Well, I found amusement in your graduation story. Shared mine. Then asked a question about your point number 6. The made a goofy comment.
So…er, I guess I won’t be commenting on anything you write.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How to Overcome Jealousy
@Rita
Er.
Well, I found amusement in your graduation story. Shared mine. Then asked a question about your point number 6. The made a goofy comment.
So…er, I guess I won’t be commenting on anything you write.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How to Overcome Jealousy
I have seen this topic come up several times and as a new blogger, it’s definitely interesting. Starting out, I wanted to leave comments just because I liked what I read but I was scared to because I wasn’t sure what to say or how and I didn’t want to come across as dorky or lacking substance. I think Writer Dad’s blog was one of the first places I had ever commented. I didn’t really have a lot that I felt was worth saying but I wanted him to know I liked his writing. As with face to face relationships, it sometimes takes a little time for the comfort level to change enough to put thoughts and feelings out there.
I love getting comments on my blog. I get a big kick looking at my stats to see where visits have come from – even those random ones that had no intention of visiting my blog, just hit upon it in a search. I know my blog is geared more towards family and friends who are out of state and want to keep up with what we’re doing so aiming for high traffic was never my intent. I always try and return a comment left for me and I comment when I read something I like. The fact that my comments lead people to my little corner is just a bonus.
Good comments are like a good conversation and debate and often lead to others posting about something they’ve read in another’s comments. Posting comments just to get visits I’m sure happens a lot, but if no one commented, there would be no community or discussion.
I will say, though, I hate to think someone won’t visit just because I’m on Blogger. What’s with the dislike of blogger? I don’t get it…
Kool Aids last blog post..gourmet apples and a shout out
I have seen this topic come up several times and as a new blogger, it’s definitely interesting. Starting out, I wanted to leave comments just because I liked what I read but I was scared to because I wasn’t sure what to say or how and I didn’t want to come across as dorky or lacking substance. I think Writer Dad’s blog was one of the first places I had ever commented. I didn’t really have a lot that I felt was worth saying but I wanted him to know I liked his writing. As with face to face relationships, it sometimes takes a little time for the comfort level to change enough to put thoughts and feelings out there.
I love getting comments on my blog. I get a big kick looking at my stats to see where visits have come from – even those random ones that had no intention of visiting my blog, just hit upon it in a search. I know my blog is geared more towards family and friends who are out of state and want to keep up with what we’re doing so aiming for high traffic was never my intent. I always try and return a comment left for me and I comment when I read something I like. The fact that my comments lead people to my little corner is just a bonus.
Good comments are like a good conversation and debate and often lead to others posting about something they’ve read in another’s comments. Posting comments just to get visits I’m sure happens a lot, but if no one commented, there would be no community or discussion.
I will say, though, I hate to think someone won’t visit just because I’m on Blogger. What’s with the dislike of blogger? I don’t get it…
Kool Aids last blog post..gourmet apples and a shout out
I have seen this topic come up several times and as a new blogger, it’s definitely interesting. Starting out, I wanted to leave comments just because I liked what I read but I was scared to because I wasn’t sure what to say or how and I didn’t want to come across as dorky or lacking substance. I think Writer Dad’s blog was one of the first places I had ever commented. I didn’t really have a lot that I felt was worth saying but I wanted him to know I liked his writing. As with face to face relationships, it sometimes takes a little time for the comfort level to change enough to put thoughts and feelings out there.
I love getting comments on my blog. I get a big kick looking at my stats to see where visits have come from – even those random ones that had no intention of visiting my blog, just hit upon it in a search. I know my blog is geared more towards family and friends who are out of state and want to keep up with what we’re doing so aiming for high traffic was never my intent. I always try and return a comment left for me and I comment when I read something I like. The fact that my comments lead people to my little corner is just a bonus.
Good comments are like a good conversation and debate and often lead to others posting about something they’ve read in another’s comments. Posting comments just to get visits I’m sure happens a lot, but if no one commented, there would be no community or discussion.
I will say, though, I hate to think someone won’t visit just because I’m on Blogger. What’s with the dislike of blogger? I don’t get it…
Kool Aids last blog post..gourmet apples and a shout out
CK Lunchbox: I completely agree. Dialogue is great, as long as it isn’t thin. Also, confidence is important, so long as it isn’t build on a fragile foundation. The compliments I’ve received on Writer Dad have helped fuel my writing to a place it wouldn’t be otherwise, at least not yet, but I can certainly see how insincerity would only drive me into a tangled nest of frustration. “I’d rather be an A+ writer (and person), than an A+ blogger.” Well said, and I couldn’t agree more unless you finished it by saying burritos are delicious.
John: I enjoyed your posts on Rita’s blog. I’ve enjoyed my guest posts as well. They give me a chance to step out of myself with a slightly different voice, and the chance to comment in someone else’s house.
Punditdad: Welcome, we’re glad to have you. You’re absolutely right. We all want praise, it is what drives us. I’m glad you took the time to comment, and I look forward to furthering our conversation.
Aylad: Thanks, I’m really glad you’re enjoying the site. High School is high school. Someday, I’ll spin the yarn of my own experience. Just not today.
Kool Aid: I still remember your first comment, and I remember clicking over to your site and being surprised by the wonderful name. You’re a wonderful commenter. Every time you’ve left your words, you’ve also left behind value. Thank you for that. Glen is a super nice guy, and does have a fantastic looking site, but I agree that that comment came off as a little elitist. Some people just want to have a simple canvas to paint the hummingbirds. There is NOTHING wrong with that. You’re doing a great job, and should keep doing exactly as you are.
CK Lunchbox: I completely agree. Dialogue is great, as long as it isn’t thin. Also, confidence is important, so long as it isn’t build on a fragile foundation. The compliments I’ve received on Writer Dad have helped fuel my writing to a place it wouldn’t be otherwise, at least not yet, but I can certainly see how insincerity would only drive me into a tangled nest of frustration. “I’d rather be an A+ writer (and person), than an A+ blogger.” Well said, and I couldn’t agree more unless you finished it by saying burritos are delicious.
John: I enjoyed your posts on Rita’s blog. I’ve enjoyed my guest posts as well. They give me a chance to step out of myself with a slightly different voice, and the chance to comment in someone else’s house.
Punditdad: Welcome, we’re glad to have you. You’re absolutely right. We all want praise, it is what drives us. I’m glad you took the time to comment, and I look forward to furthering our conversation.
Aylad: Thanks, I’m really glad you’re enjoying the site. High School is high school. Someday, I’ll spin the yarn of my own experience. Just not today.
Kool Aid: I still remember your first comment, and I remember clicking over to your site and being surprised by the wonderful name. You’re a wonderful commenter. Every time you’ve left your words, you’ve also left behind value. Thank you for that. Glen is a super nice guy, and does have a fantastic looking site, but I agree that that comment came off as a little elitist. Some people just want to have a simple canvas to paint the hummingbirds. There is NOTHING wrong with that. You’re doing a great job, and should keep doing exactly as you are.
awwww, shucks…..
Kool Aids last blog post..I’m a twit
awwww, shucks…..
Kool Aids last blog post..I’m a twit
Huh. I didn’t get the memo suggesting we pimp our blogs out on the commenting strip. If this really is high school then Imina go stand behind the punch bowl with the dorks who grew up to be way cool.
Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..LOOK OUT!
Huh. I didn’t get the memo suggesting we pimp our blogs out on the commenting strip. If this really is high school then Imina go stand behind the punch bowl with the dorks who grew up to be way cool.
Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..LOOK OUT!
@Rita: Oh my god! Don’t even think it was you who is the cause of that. I’ve just been upset over a few things I’ve seen over the blogosphere. It’s not major, it’s nothing at all, really. This post was great and it highlights some great points. Don’t even worry about what I said. It was barely a complete thought.
(We’ll have to disagree on Star Wars though!)
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Interviews Make Me Nervous
@Rita: Oh my god! Don’t even think it was you who is the cause of that. I’ve just been upset over a few things I’ve seen over the blogosphere. It’s not major, it’s nothing at all, really. This post was great and it highlights some great points. Don’t even worry about what I said. It was barely a complete thought.
(We’ll have to disagree on Star Wars though!)
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Interviews Make Me Nervous
Hi Rita – Someone really said that didn’t they and I can’t remember who it was. It’s bugging me now.
@WriterDad – I am not so smart when it comes to basic things like working the tv and video, but I think that is probably lazyness.
Cath Lawsons last blog post..YOU Have Never Been More Powerful
Hi Rita – Someone really said that didn’t they and I can’t remember who it was. It’s bugging me now.
@WriterDad – I am not so smart when it comes to basic things like working the tv and video, but I think that is probably lazyness.
Cath Lawsons last blog post..YOU Have Never Been More Powerful
@ Allison: I’m happy for you that you never “bought in” with one”popular crowd.” If I had to pinpoint my OWN errors, that would be the one that I started with!
@ Sal: I agree with you, and that’s why I always get comments sent to my email. That way, if I want to go back and participate in the coversation, I can do so – without having missed a comment on ONLY those posts I, myself, have commented on!
@ John: As you know, I rarely take “guest posters.” You, however, are ALWAYS an addition to the content of Rita’s Digest on a topic I prefer to personally avoid: politics. It is always a joy to have a “seasoned blogger and intelligent political writer” such as yourself on the Digest!
@ Punditdad: As Writer Dad said, we are all looking fo praise. When somebody comments on my blog, I am also open to disagreement. Comments keep the writing in the original post alive, which is why I answer each and every one. To me, providing the name of the commenter does more to making his/her blog known than by providing the title to a particular post. A person can click on your name, and read any of the posts you’ve written! I believe that an intelligent and genuine commenter is the best “ad” for his/her own blog, as people want to get to know YOU, not your curent post.
@ Hayden: I don’t believe that Writer Dad disagrees with many commenters. I am not Writer Dad. I went back and re-read your post. It addressed none of the issues in my blog – except for an introductory paragraph. Your “question on #6″ was incomprehensible to me. And your second attempt to “clarify” only brought more attention to self-aggrandizement than any point mentioned in the blog. Hence, you and I are in total agreement: you won’t be commenting on anything I write. Somehow I don’t think that will cause me a moment’s of lost sleep.
@ Kool Aid: It appears that you have a great and well-balanced view of blogging and commenting. I think that’s terrific. As to Blogger, I have NO idea. Sorry,
@ Betsy: Sounds like a great plan! Apparently, however, you already grew up by seeing no reason to”pimp your blog.” More power to you!
@ CK Lunchbox: I’m so glad you came back and left a thoughtful and interesting comment. I, too, would like to be an A+ blogger, but I’d much rather do with with A+ writing and A+ content. I don’t look at me “comment count” as my “grade.” I look at the qulality of the comments, and to how I feel after a post goes up.
@ Aylad: As a former High School teacher myself, I agree. And I’d prefer a blogger “high on self-recognition” skip my blogs altogether! They can catch the 9:45 ahow together!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Allison: I’m happy for you that you never “bought in” with one”popular crowd.” If I had to pinpoint my OWN errors, that would be the one that I started with!
@ Sal: I agree with you, and that’s why I always get comments sent to my email. That way, if I want to go back and participate in the coversation, I can do so – without having missed a comment on ONLY those posts I, myself, have commented on!
@ John: As you know, I rarely take “guest posters.” You, however, are ALWAYS an addition to the content of Rita’s Digest on a topic I prefer to personally avoid: politics. It is always a joy to have a “seasoned blogger and intelligent political writer” such as yourself on the Digest!
@ Punditdad: As Writer Dad said, we are all looking fo praise. When somebody comments on my blog, I am also open to disagreement. Comments keep the writing in the original post alive, which is why I answer each and every one. To me, providing the name of the commenter does more to making his/her blog known than by providing the title to a particular post. A person can click on your name, and read any of the posts you’ve written! I believe that an intelligent and genuine commenter is the best “ad” for his/her own blog, as people want to get to know YOU, not your curent post.
@ Hayden: I don’t believe that Writer Dad disagrees with many commenters. I am not Writer Dad. I went back and re-read your post. It addressed none of the issues in my blog – except for an introductory paragraph. Your “question on #6″ was incomprehensible to me. And your second attempt to “clarify” only brought more attention to self-aggrandizement than any point mentioned in the blog. Hence, you and I are in total agreement: you won’t be commenting on anything I write. Somehow I don’t think that will cause me a moment’s of lost sleep.
@ Kool Aid: It appears that you have a great and well-balanced view of blogging and commenting. I think that’s terrific. As to Blogger, I have NO idea. Sorry,
@ Betsy: Sounds like a great plan! Apparently, however, you already grew up by seeing no reason to”pimp your blog.” More power to you!
@ CK Lunchbox: I’m so glad you came back and left a thoughtful and interesting comment. I, too, would like to be an A+ blogger, but I’d much rather do with with A+ writing and A+ content. I don’t look at me “comment count” as my “grade.” I look at the qulality of the comments, and to how I feel after a post goes up.
@ Aylad: As a former High School teacher myself, I agree. And I’d prefer a blogger “high on self-recognition” skip my blogs altogether! They can catch the 9:45 ahow together!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Matthew: We’re cool. Not to worry…I know you’ve been seaching for that “balance,” and not having an easy time of it. I was hoping that it was NOT my words that upset you, but the content – and the message! And disagreeing on “Star Wars” is OK too. I DID like the scenes with Harrison Ford, though…
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Matthew: We’re cool. Not to worry…I know you’ve been seaching for that “balance,” and not having an easy time of it. I was hoping that it was NOT my words that upset you, but the content – and the message! And disagreeing on “Star Wars” is OK too. I DID like the scenes with Harrison Ford, though…
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
Writer Dad, Rita , Everyone – Thanks for the replies and for the comments. It’s as if I needed this post and comments now before it was too late or something. I’m in awe actually. A bit confused. I guess kinda like the freshman going into high school for his second or third day. I want to say something cause I’m interested in the subject, I’ve researched for several months before going to school how to act in school, but maybe, maybe the seniors in the room still don’t wanna hear it. I spoke anyway and as the day progressed, I kept reading the replies that were coming in and I felt like I have been schooled, so to speak. Not that I felt that they were directed at me, just the comments sounded almost completely opposite of what I had thought I had read before starting this. Then again, I may need to re-read them for the 4th time. It is very interesting non-the-less.
At any rate, I’m loving what I’m doing and this site and Writer Dad’s style, and now yours, it’s all inspiring. I’m gonna keep coming back. If it’s ok, I would like to come back before November 23rd though :)
-Scott
Scotts last blog post..We stare at weblogs, what do cats stare at?
Writer Dad, Rita , Everyone – Thanks for the replies and for the comments. It’s as if I needed this post and comments now before it was too late or something. I’m in awe actually. A bit confused. I guess kinda like the freshman going into high school for his second or third day. I want to say something cause I’m interested in the subject, I’ve researched for several months before going to school how to act in school, but maybe, maybe the seniors in the room still don’t wanna hear it. I spoke anyway and as the day progressed, I kept reading the replies that were coming in and I felt like I have been schooled, so to speak. Not that I felt that they were directed at me, just the comments sounded almost completely opposite of what I had thought I had read before starting this. Then again, I may need to re-read them for the 4th time. It is very interesting non-the-less.
At any rate, I’m loving what I’m doing and this site and Writer Dad’s style, and now yours, it’s all inspiring. I’m gonna keep coming back. If it’s ok, I would like to come back before November 23rd though :)
-Scott
Scotts last blog post..We stare at weblogs, what do cats stare at?
Betsy: Me too.
Cath: I just recently learned that I could twist the ice cube trays to drop the ice, rather than banging them with all my force into the bin.
Rita: Hayden was being playful with you, as is her nature. LMAO stands for laughing my ass off. She thought it was funny that you didn’t want to go to your graduation, and then related a story of her own. She too didn’t want attend her graduation, and wouldn’t had she not been ambushed by her mom. The second part of her comment is her saying that she doesn’t even know who is in the popular crowd because she’s off in her corner doing her own thing. This is in line with you saying you’re finding interesting people to sit with.
Scott: You are welcome here any time, and please don’t ever hesitate to comment. Commenting is always worth it, so long as you have something to contribute, and the energy to do it.
Betsy: Me too.
Cath: I just recently learned that I could twist the ice cube trays to drop the ice, rather than banging them with all my force into the bin.
Rita: Hayden was being playful with you, as is her nature. LMAO stands for laughing my ass off. She thought it was funny that you didn’t want to go to your graduation, and then related a story of her own. She too didn’t want attend her graduation, and wouldn’t had she not been ambushed by her mom. The second part of her comment is her saying that she doesn’t even know who is in the popular crowd because she’s off in her corner doing her own thing. This is in line with you saying you’re finding interesting people to sit with.
Scott: You are welcome here any time, and please don’t ever hesitate to comment. Commenting is always worth it, so long as you have something to contribute, and the energy to do it.
@ Scott: What a beautifully-written and thooughtful comment. So, do you think you’re ready for graduation? Or are you going to skip it and go straight to Blogger College? :-)
I think I know Writer Dad well enough to sat that you’re welcome at ANY time. And that goes for me, too! Stop by, and we’ll “chat!”
Rita
@ Writer Dad:
I know that LMAO means. I know what LMAOAPOTF means. I know what BRB means. I also know what LMAOACFI means. I don’t need translations, thanks. This is your blog, and for that reason only do I apologize – to you – for upsetting one of your readers. Hayden wrote the type of comment that I didn’t find contributed to much of the conversation, and then came back and did the same. These are the types of “comments” that I, personally, find pointless. They are self-aggrandizing. So, given that I’ve been “socializing” on the computer just a few more years than you have, here’s one for you: CYB!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@ Scott: What a beautifully-written and thooughtful comment. So, do you think you’re ready for graduation? Or are you going to skip it and go straight to Blogger College? :-)
I think I know Writer Dad well enough to sat that you’re welcome at ANY time. And that goes for me, too! Stop by, and we’ll “chat!”
Rita
@ Writer Dad:
I know that LMAO means. I know what LMAOAPOTF means. I know what BRB means. I also know what LMAOACFI means. I don’t need translations, thanks. This is your blog, and for that reason only do I apologize – to you – for upsetting one of your readers. Hayden wrote the type of comment that I didn’t find contributed to much of the conversation, and then came back and did the same. These are the types of “comments” that I, personally, find pointless. They are self-aggrandizing. So, given that I’ve been “socializing” on the computer just a few more years than you have, here’s one for you: CYB!
Rita
Ritas last blog post..I MET STALIN – PART II
@Writer Dad:
Thanks. I appreciate the welcome.
@Rita:
First let me just say, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!! :) I’ve learned today that I’ve still got some, no, a LOT of schooling to do. You guys and gals have really helped me a whole biggo bunch, and you just don’t know how much I appreciate that.
And in the words of CK Lunchbox who phrased it so well…You’z da bomb. ;)
See ya’ll around
-Scott
Scotts last blog post..We stare at weblogs, what do cats stare at?