“I must do something” always solves more problems than “Something must be done.”
~Author Unknown
When I published yesterday’s post, I expected two basic reactions: Good for you or You should be more careful.
I did not expect this:
You played cop over a sticker, lol. Bet you think you’re some hero now.
*unsubscribes*
That comment was beautifully articulated by Benjamin Solah, or Benjamin SoLONG as Kimmelin referred to him two dozen high fives later.
My response:
Benjamin: With a wide web between us, I’m unable to properly measure your sarcasm, so I’ll take your question straight.
No, I don’t think I’m a hero. I saved no one, and was considering my needs during the entire confrontation. Such are not the actions of a hero. I do all I can to make my neighborhood safe and friendly. The gaggle of hoods who stroll our streets, intimidating others and destroying property, are able to do so because no one is willing to stand up to them. They are not plastering a political message, or working toward change. They are simply being destructive, making the neighborhood feel unsafe, and wasting the time of others. The story wasn’t about a sticker. It was about a disrespectful bully. This is clearly written. I imagine you must have your own issues with authority to respond as you did.
Yesterday’s comment wasn’t Benjamin’s first. When someone takes the time to comment on Writer Dad, I do my best to stop by their site. So I already knew Benjamin was a “Marxist revolutionary with a passion for writing fiction which shines a mirror on capitalism to reflect its innate horror.”
Obviously I’m not convincing Benji of anything.
A few hours later, Benjamin dropped another comment.
Writer Dad, I’m know I’m gonna cause a fuss, but I actually disagree with what you did. It’s a sticker, get over it. Do you really think you’re such a hero for making a kid peel a sticker off a stop sign? Does it matter at all?
No (again), I do not consider myself a hero, and yes it matters:
Benjamin: I understand your perspective, but it isn’t JUST a sticker. It’s pandemic. I live in a ghetto where public and private property are defaced daily. Stop signs get postal labels slapped on them, obscenities follow. The labels take half an hour to scrape off. My half hour, that I don’t have. If I don’t scrape the labels, they multiply. Exactly like graffiti. We paint over that immediately as well. You don’t have to agree, but I corrected a neighborhood bully while he was disrespecting community property in front of our preschool where we endeavor to teach our little ones respect. I did so with control and manners. Observing vandalism, and doing nothing, is apathy. That’s not me.
I’m not a Marxist, so perhaps the logic’s lost on me. Benjamin tried to help me understand:
Sorry, I still think it’s all relative. Why is he sticking that sticker there? Why has he got nothing better to than to graffiti (aside from the fact some people actually find graffiti beautiful, as opposed to neat and perfect coz it looks unlived and inhuman IMO) but you said you live in a ghetto. So isn’t poverty more of an issue?
I’ve lived in areas where graffiti is rife, but it never bothered me, because the things around it were so much worse. I think when you look at businesses on the verge of being bailed out to the tune of $700 Billion, this poor kid gets ignored and the only way he gets noticed is to slap a sticker on a stop sign.
Many of you are probably wondering what Benjamin did to deserve this dedication. Nothing. It’s not about him. He just happened to be the voice of ignorance (no offense, Benjamin. Failed political infrastructure will do that).
This kid was victim of nothing. He slapped the sticker on the stop sign because no one taught him different. He’s one of the miscreants who meander around, mutilating their morals. They do not create art or anything else. Their graffiti is a sequence of barely legible letters, awkwardly scrawled onto the sidewalk (or the walls, windows, car doors, or anything they can get away with) in sharpie.
Poverty isn’t the issue, it’s respect. The kid was wearing an ipod, as do most of the kids in my neighborhood. I’ve got a shuffle, his was a touch, but at least I have manners.
I don’t understand people who, regardless of the facts, assume aggressor as victim, and hand out excuses like candy.
Benjamin, a $700 Billion dollar bailout has nothing to do with the fact that Mr. Mini-Thug needed to learn a lesson in simple human decency. He tried to look cool, and got faced instead. He accepted his consequence. Why can’t you?
Writer Dad
If you enjoyed these words, please subscribe (for free) by RSS or Email. If you’re a Stumbler, please consider Stumbling. Thanks.
About Sean Platt
Personal responsibility. That’s what runs through all of this. And mindfulness. There is very little discussion in the media of that is there? Not much drama, no ratings to be had. Just simple acts of respect and follow through on matters that build character.
It’s the kind of thing that good parents and teachers and other role models DO, often one person at a time. So I have to disagree with Benjamin about that uphill battle of calling out one individual at a time. You don’t teach every child, you teach the one that is right in front of you at the time.
Personal responsibility. That’s what runs through all of this. And mindfulness. There is very little discussion in the media of that is there? Not much drama, no ratings to be had. Just simple acts of respect and follow through on matters that build character.
It’s the kind of thing that good parents and teachers and other role models DO, often one person at a time. So I have to disagree with Benjamin about that uphill battle of calling out one individual at a time. You don’t teach every child, you teach the one that is right in front of you at the time.
Jim – Thank you, but no apology was necessary on your part. I wrote that against the clock, so it was probably not as clear as it should’ve been. I try to see both sides of major issues. I’ve always been the type to try and bridge the gaps with knowledge rather than extend them by clinging tight to one belief or side at all costs. Though there are times, particularly when I’m writing humor or an opinion piece, that I will choose sides.
Writer Dad – Yes, this has been a very mature discussion, for which your readers are to be commended. Having said that, perhaps it’s been a bit too mature.
POOPIE!
There, that should correct the situation.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Eight Questions – Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging Without a Blog
Jim – Thank you, but no apology was necessary on your part. I wrote that against the clock, so it was probably not as clear as it should’ve been. I try to see both sides of major issues. I’ve always been the type to try and bridge the gaps with knowledge rather than extend them by clinging tight to one belief or side at all costs. Though there are times, particularly when I’m writing humor or an opinion piece, that I will choose sides.
Writer Dad – Yes, this has been a very mature discussion, for which your readers are to be commended. Having said that, perhaps it’s been a bit too mature.
POOPIE!
There, that should correct the situation.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Eight Questions – Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging Without a Blog
@Dot, yes, exactly what WD said. My issue was NOT that Benjamin should not comment not being from the U.S. My issue is that Benjamin was taking issue with U.S. politics from the perspective of an American, which rubs me the wrong way. Benjamin was never attacked, and he was treated with at least the same degree of maturity that he himself displayed:
(lest we forget the initial comment that started this all)
“You played cop over a sticker, lol. Bet you think you’re some hero now.
*unsubscribes*”)
“Lol” indeed if this is considered mature.
But I would like to throw my lot in with Blogger Dad and agree…. immaturity can have value. Mainly, it can be fun. I like to laugh. Poop. Boner.
Also, Dot, Benjamin has yet to seriously address any of the discussion in opposition to him or any of the questions posed to him. Why not? Why is he so quick to dismiss our thoughts? He seems to have no interest in an open and honest exchange of ideas. Everything from him has been basically “this is what I think and I am right and fyou if you disagree.”
I, for one, LOVE debates with people I disagree with. If the other person actually thinks about what they are saying and their points. I love to learn new ideas and have no problem with being wrong. And there is nothing to make you flesh out your own opinions quite like having to defend them to someone who disagrees with you. Benjamin has not offered this to us. He has not rebutted our points nor expanded on his.
And Dot? The nicknames? Benjamin takes an awfully long time to write out. I’ll take B.S. any day.
@Dot, yes, exactly what WD said. My issue was NOT that Benjamin should not comment not being from the U.S. My issue is that Benjamin was taking issue with U.S. politics from the perspective of an American, which rubs me the wrong way. Benjamin was never attacked, and he was treated with at least the same degree of maturity that he himself displayed:
(lest we forget the initial comment that started this all)
“You played cop over a sticker, lol. Bet you think you’re some hero now.
*unsubscribes*”)
“Lol” indeed if this is considered mature.
But I would like to throw my lot in with Blogger Dad and agree…. immaturity can have value. Mainly, it can be fun. I like to laugh. Poop. Boner.
Also, Dot, Benjamin has yet to seriously address any of the discussion in opposition to him or any of the questions posed to him. Why not? Why is he so quick to dismiss our thoughts? He seems to have no interest in an open and honest exchange of ideas. Everything from him has been basically “this is what I think and I am right and fyou if you disagree.”
I, for one, LOVE debates with people I disagree with. If the other person actually thinks about what they are saying and their points. I love to learn new ideas and have no problem with being wrong. And there is nothing to make you flesh out your own opinions quite like having to defend them to someone who disagrees with you. Benjamin has not offered this to us. He has not rebutted our points nor expanded on his.
And Dot? The nicknames? Benjamin takes an awfully long time to write out. I’ll take B.S. any day.
OK, How’s this for mature:
According to Berger’s The Developing Person Through the Life Span, Postformal Thought (adult thought) is defined as an adult stage of cognitive development, that goes beyond adolescent thinking by being more dialectical (more capable of combining contradictory elements into a comprehensive whole).
It appears that Benjamin has not reached this stage of cognitive development, therefore the only arguments you will receive from him are the “I’m right” type we have seen thus far. (How’s that for grown-up talk? Do I sound like a therapist yet?)
For balance:
I heart Kittytown, bad language and all.
I heart BloggerDad and wholeheartedly support his war on McDonald’s. Wage on Diaper Dude.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick Another Pen Men Brain: Charlie Pabst
OK, How’s this for mature:
According to Berger’s The Developing Person Through the Life Span, Postformal Thought (adult thought) is defined as an adult stage of cognitive development, that goes beyond adolescent thinking by being more dialectical (more capable of combining contradictory elements into a comprehensive whole).
It appears that Benjamin has not reached this stage of cognitive development, therefore the only arguments you will receive from him are the “I’m right” type we have seen thus far. (How’s that for grown-up talk? Do I sound like a therapist yet?)
For balance:
I heart Kittytown, bad language and all.
I heart BloggerDad and wholeheartedly support his war on McDonald’s. Wage on Diaper Dude.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick Another Pen Men Brain: Charlie Pabst
Janice: There is not, but please, at least for now, do not get me started on the media. You teach the one in front of you, then enjoy the ripple effect.
Blogger Dad: Fart.
KittyTown: Word.
Jamie: That was amazing. You are officially awesome.
Janice: There is not, but please, at least for now, do not get me started on the media. You teach the one in front of you, then enjoy the ripple effect.
Blogger Dad: Fart.
KittyTown: Word.
Jamie: That was amazing. You are officially awesome.
kittytown – :)
Jamie – Thanks, therapist Jamie. That has a nice ring to it. I’ll send you your recruitment gear for our war on the Golden Arches.
Writer Dad – boogers.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Taking a moment to reflect
kittytown – :)
Jamie – Thanks, therapist Jamie. That has a nice ring to it. I’ll send you your recruitment gear for our war on the Golden Arches.
Writer Dad – boogers.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Taking a moment to reflect
@BloggerDad Sure thing, I’ll send you my bill. I take payments in French Fries or chocolate chip cookies. Maybe I should convert my website to an online therapy session, drive-thru brain re-wiring, one-stop-shrink-shopping website….
@Writer Dad WOOT! I knew all that tuition money would not go to waste.
@BloggerDad Sure thing, I’ll send you my bill. I take payments in French Fries or chocolate chip cookies. Maybe I should convert my website to an online therapy session, drive-thru brain re-wiring, one-stop-shrink-shopping website….
@Writer Dad WOOT! I knew all that tuition money would not go to waste.
I am going to make a couple predictions:
1) Writer Dad’s act of parenting will be an ongoing ripple in this kid’s life. He might even be thankful in the future.
2) Writer Dad’s actions will be a ripple in his neighborhood. Perhaps others will begin to stand up and take action as well. Just seeing one person behave thus is often enough to encourage others. If the kids need parenting, they might have just found a few extra “parents” to help guide and correct them.
3) The discussion here today will be an ongoing ripple in the blogsphere. Articulate, thought-out debates by people who can write! Heaven! So, Writer Dad, what’s the next topic going to be? ;)
One voice is a street corner. 10 voices is a neighborhood. Here’s to growing good things!
Consequences, while often painful, are a necessary learning tool. I’d much rather my kid “suffer” the consequences of a concerned parent and citizen than find no real consequence until his first arrest. Just my two cents.
B J Keltz
I am going to make a couple predictions:
1) Writer Dad’s act of parenting will be an ongoing ripple in this kid’s life. He might even be thankful in the future.
2) Writer Dad’s actions will be a ripple in his neighborhood. Perhaps others will begin to stand up and take action as well. Just seeing one person behave thus is often enough to encourage others. If the kids need parenting, they might have just found a few extra “parents” to help guide and correct them.
3) The discussion here today will be an ongoing ripple in the blogsphere. Articulate, thought-out debates by people who can write! Heaven! So, Writer Dad, what’s the next topic going to be? ;)
One voice is a street corner. 10 voices is a neighborhood. Here’s to growing good things!
Consequences, while often painful, are a necessary learning tool. I’d much rather my kid “suffer” the consequences of a concerned parent and citizen than find no real consequence until his first arrest. Just my two cents.
B J Keltz
Blogger Dad: Dingleberries.
Jamie: Every dollar well spent.
BJ: I adore what you said here. I agree about the first two, and I’d love for you to be right about the third.
Blogger Dad: Dingleberries.
Jamie: Every dollar well spent.
BJ: I adore what you said here. I agree about the first two, and I’d love for you to be right about the third.
My intention wasn’t to offend you or your readership. In skimming this long thread (I was sick and missed reading it until it was huge), I misinterpreted those two comments. My apologies for that.
My intention wasn’t to offend you or your readership. In skimming this long thread (I was sick and missed reading it until it was huge), I misinterpreted those two comments. My apologies for that.
Dot: No need for apologies. That’s the wonderful thing about articulate discussion. I’m glad you read, and thanks for coming back and responding. I love it!
Dot: No need for apologies. That’s the wonderful thing about articulate discussion. I’m glad you read, and thanks for coming back and responding. I love it!
Howdy, folks, newbie here. I’ve got loads o’ thoughts, let me see if I can organize ‘em a bit…
1. Hot-diggety!!! This is awesome! This is why I love the Internet! I wonder if you all appreciate how completely unique this period of human development is. In one fell swoop, all geographic, ethnic, religious, economic, and political barriers have been erased. Everybody can talk to everybody, and anybody can find out virtually anything! The Universal Mind is birthed!
So okay, that’s a bit hyperbolic, obviously there’s still some people (even some whole peoples) that don’t have access to the ‘Net. But it’s almost true! And the beauty part is: It hasn’t degenerated into complete anarchy and chaos! Humans Rock!
2. There is no difference between stickering for a cause and stickering for kicks. Nor is there a difference between stickering and postering, unless you’re talking about asking business and home owners if you can display your poster on their property.
It’s vandalism. Or, on another level, it’s pissing all over everything just to scream “I’m here!”
In fact, I take issue with calling it “stickering.” I realize it’s easier to type than “putting up stickers,” but giving it a cutesie name both legitimizes it and implies acceptance. And we cannot accept vandalism! That way lies madness.
It makes me furious when I see “news” programs referring to these punks and vandals as “taggers” or, worse, “graffitti artists.” And then they go on to actually show some of the asshole’s “work!” Is that supposed to help? Is that even “news?” I think not.
3. You go ‘Dad! Hero is a term that’s used way too much, so I won’t, but you’ve earned a place on my role models list for sure. What you did was very brave. You struck a blow for the side of good and we are in your debt. Then you blogged about it, making it bigger than just “one small step…” That, too, took courage!
4. Please don’t misunderstand, there is no “but” implied here, you did a brave and good thing, and I salute you. That being said:
a. You made absolutely no difference to the vandal in question. You may have impressed the neighbors, and you certainly sparked a lively and important discussion, but I don’t believe for a second that that kid is thinking about anything other than how much he hates you and how he can get back at you.
b. What were you thinking?!? Since no one else seems to have said it, I will. That was unbelievably dangerous. How far were you going to go? If he had brushed you off and walked away, were you going to do anything but call the cops? Yell at him, take his picture, report him, but never NEVER get anything like physical with him!
Scraping off stickers and removing graffitti sucks, believe me I know, but it’s a total walk in the park compared to what might have happened.
I guess what I’m saying is “Great job! Now don’t ever do that again!”
Daisy, the kids, and the world need you.
Howdy, folks, newbie here. I’ve got loads o’ thoughts, let me see if I can organize ‘em a bit…
1. Hot-diggety!!! This is awesome! This is why I love the Internet! I wonder if you all appreciate how completely unique this period of human development is. In one fell swoop, all geographic, ethnic, religious, economic, and political barriers have been erased. Everybody can talk to everybody, and anybody can find out virtually anything! The Universal Mind is birthed!
So okay, that’s a bit hyperbolic, obviously there’s still some people (even some whole peoples) that don’t have access to the ‘Net. But it’s almost true! And the beauty part is: It hasn’t degenerated into complete anarchy and chaos! Humans Rock!
2. There is no difference between stickering for a cause and stickering for kicks. Nor is there a difference between stickering and postering, unless you’re talking about asking business and home owners if you can display your poster on their property.
It’s vandalism. Or, on another level, it’s pissing all over everything just to scream “I’m here!”
In fact, I take issue with calling it “stickering.” I realize it’s easier to type than “putting up stickers,” but giving it a cutesie name both legitimizes it and implies acceptance. And we cannot accept vandalism! That way lies madness.
It makes me furious when I see “news” programs referring to these punks and vandals as “taggers” or, worse, “graffitti artists.” And then they go on to actually show some of the asshole’s “work!” Is that supposed to help? Is that even “news?” I think not.
3. You go ‘Dad! Hero is a term that’s used way too much, so I won’t, but you’ve earned a place on my role models list for sure. What you did was very brave. You struck a blow for the side of good and we are in your debt. Then you blogged about it, making it bigger than just “one small step…” That, too, took courage!
4. Please don’t misunderstand, there is no “but” implied here, you did a brave and good thing, and I salute you. That being said:
a. You made absolutely no difference to the vandal in question. You may have impressed the neighbors, and you certainly sparked a lively and important discussion, but I don’t believe for a second that that kid is thinking about anything other than how much he hates you and how he can get back at you.
b. What were you thinking?!? Since no one else seems to have said it, I will. That was unbelievably dangerous. How far were you going to go? If he had brushed you off and walked away, were you going to do anything but call the cops? Yell at him, take his picture, report him, but never NEVER get anything like physical with him!
Scraping off stickers and removing graffitti sucks, believe me I know, but it’s a total walk in the park compared to what might have happened.
I guess what I’m saying is “Great job! Now don’t ever do that again!”
Daisy, the kids, and the world need you.
Having grown up in what would be classified as “poverty”, I can guarantee that there is a HUGE component of poverty as a mindset.
I never would have considered myself poor or wanting, if my peers hadn’t pointed those things out to me. My family nurtured each other, my parents taught us the value of hard work and that doing well in school was All Important. We were loved and cared for, and encouraged.
All six of us kids are very successful, and our own children do not live in the (material) poverty we did growing up.
So, yes– I firmly believe that respect and love are the true “redeemers” of poverty, whether or not the money/living situation improves or not. Attitude and being a decent human being are bigger than the poverty itself.
GreenJellos last blog post..Letterbox– Lehi Sugar Factory
Having grown up in what would be classified as “poverty”, I can guarantee that there is a HUGE component of poverty as a mindset.
I never would have considered myself poor or wanting, if my peers hadn’t pointed those things out to me. My family nurtured each other, my parents taught us the value of hard work and that doing well in school was All Important. We were loved and cared for, and encouraged.
All six of us kids are very successful, and our own children do not live in the (material) poverty we did growing up.
So, yes– I firmly believe that respect and love are the true “redeemers” of poverty, whether or not the money/living situation improves or not. Attitude and being a decent human being are bigger than the poverty itself.
GreenJellos last blog post..Letterbox– Lehi Sugar Factory
…oh, PS: Pull my finger!
…oh, PS: Pull my finger!
@ Bruce Q “It’s vandalism. Or, on another level, it’s pissing all over everything just to scream “I’m here!”" I love it!
Welcome!
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..We Donate with Squidoo, Do You?
@ Bruce Q “It’s vandalism. Or, on another level, it’s pissing all over everything just to scream “I’m here!”" I love it!
Welcome!
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..We Donate with Squidoo, Do You?
Bruce: Glad you’re hear Bruce. It is a fantastic conversation happening. Three days, still active, I like. I agreed with everything you said, and enjoyed the voice you said it in. I’m perfectly comfortable with role model. Thank you. I probably should have showed more caution, but honestly I’ve had several similar confrontation since moving in. I think, for the most part, they’re all cowards and aren’t used to being stood up to. Even so, I should definitely be more careful.
GreenJello: I totally agree. We were poor when I was little, and I don’t remember it ever occurring to me that I couldn’t be rich when I grew up, so long as I wanted to. You were very lucky to grow up in the family that you did. You’ve passed that fortune forward. Thanks for sharing your voice.
Bruce: Glad you’re hear Bruce. It is a fantastic conversation happening. Three days, still active, I like. I agreed with everything you said, and enjoyed the voice you said it in. I’m perfectly comfortable with role model. Thank you. I probably should have showed more caution, but honestly I’ve had several similar confrontation since moving in. I think, for the most part, they’re all cowards and aren’t used to being stood up to. Even so, I should definitely be more careful.
GreenJello: I totally agree. We were poor when I was little, and I don’t remember it ever occurring to me that I couldn’t be rich when I grew up, so long as I wanted to. You were very lucky to grow up in the family that you did. You’ve passed that fortune forward. Thanks for sharing your voice.
I feel that you JUST MIGHT be a hero! (You just may never know it). My experiences teaching adults in a vocational school, (where most of our student population falls in the “poverty level bracket”) has introduced me to many individuals that are void of any understanding of accountability. I REFUSE to dismiss actions that are very clearly the “Wrong” choice. I have embarked upon numerous encounters where I face-off with students and STRONLY urge them to be accountable for words or actions. At the time, they would never DARE reveal that I was getting through to them, however, I have been fortunate to receive cards and letters, thanking me and telling me that teaching them the importance of accountability changed their lives. They are truly grateful that I took the moment to teach them that simple, yet extremely valuable lesson. Most of them have grown up making these choices, hoping that someone would care enough to correct them. They are once again disappointed realizing that no one believed in them enough to bat an eye. A majority of them grow accustomed to being branded with lovely names like Loser or hearing that they will never amount to anything etc… Although you may not always have the pleasure to see the impact it makes, (if any) I believe it is better to TRY than to just sit and expect nothing better from another fellow, Human Being (just because you THINK that they don’t “know any better”). Give them a LITTLE credit and you may be giving them the opportunity to make the “right” choice for the first time in their life. You never know……You MAY JUST be a hero to that ONE person!!! I say, go for it. Make this world a better place, one person at a time! Namaste’ (no taking off for my run on’s or punctuation.) :-)
I feel that you JUST MIGHT be a hero! (You just may never know it). My experiences teaching adults in a vocational school, (where most of our student population falls in the “poverty level bracket”) has introduced me to many individuals that are void of any understanding of accountability. I REFUSE to dismiss actions that are very clearly the “Wrong” choice. I have embarked upon numerous encounters where I face-off with students and STRONLY urge them to be accountable for words or actions. At the time, they would never DARE reveal that I was getting through to them, however, I have been fortunate to receive cards and letters, thanking me and telling me that teaching them the importance of accountability changed their lives. They are truly grateful that I took the moment to teach them that simple, yet extremely valuable lesson. Most of them have grown up making these choices, hoping that someone would care enough to correct them. They are once again disappointed realizing that no one believed in them enough to bat an eye. A majority of them grow accustomed to being branded with lovely names like Loser or hearing that they will never amount to anything etc… Although you may not always have the pleasure to see the impact it makes, (if any) I believe it is better to TRY than to just sit and expect nothing better from another fellow, Human Being (just because you THINK that they don’t “know any better”). Give them a LITTLE credit and you may be giving them the opportunity to make the “right” choice for the first time in their life. You never know……You MAY JUST be a hero to that ONE person!!! I say, go for it. Make this world a better place, one person at a time! Namaste’ (no taking off for my run on’s or punctuation.) :-)