Life’s been tap dancing on my toes for a while now. But each day this year has been better than the one before, and it’s possible that right now at this moment, I’ve never been happier.
I’m not exactly sorry I’ve been away, as I’ve been tending opportunity, and that is after all why I started a life online. But I did miss you and do thank you for the emails. It’s always nice to know when you’re being thought of.
Last week at dinner my mom said, “You know your last post is the video wishing Cindy a happy birthday, right?”
And though the month had felt like a week, the sun’s rotation rarely lies. It was odd to realize I’d unplugged from something I’d connected with daily for nearly two years. Yet even the most passionate lovers can sometimes drift apart.
I plan on posting as consistently as possible, though I’m not quite sure what that means just yet. Minutes are Evian in the Mojave right now, but I’ll do more to plan my sips a bit better.
So anyway, we’ve moved. Loaded the last of the boxes today. It is an immeasurable relief to have shed the dead skin of a previous life.
We bought the house five years back after falling for it so hard we would’ve gladly added it to our marriage certificate. This was right after I talked Cindy into leaving her job as a fourth grade teacher.
“Forget about your benefits, baby,” I gave her that grin that makes it hard for her to argue. “I’ll leave the flower shop, too. We can open a preschool together and stay with the children until they’re both in school.”
We were stretched near see-through at the time. Mia was three and Max the size of an oversized honeydew. Time was racing and slapping us on the back of the head as it whizzed on by. We both knew the first five years of our children’s life would vanish and leave us wondering where they went.
And they have.
We weren’t willing to let time win without a fight. So we bought the house, opened the preschool and stayed with Max and Mia each and every day.
We planned to expand our school, but soon found that a lack of parking meant the city would never allow us to expand our enrollment. The preschool was designed to provide us time with our children, but only delivered enough income to keep our heads above water.
It was clear we would need to move on.
Around this time I was discovering the writer inside me. That, sparked with my native entrepreneurial spirit, had us quickly closing a business with narrow walls and a ceiling low enough to crush the curls in our hair, in an eager exchange for the limitless potential of an online living.
The 18 months that followed were in many ways amazing. But they were also hard. Very hard. We jumped without a net, and though we landed a lot softer than we had any reasonable right to expect, it was still more like being thrown through glass than either of us anticipated.
We bought the house at the height of the market, the neighborhood transitional, but promising. Our realtor and close trusted friend urged us not to buy, suggesting we take our money and move to one of the city’s better neighborhoods. But a symphony of hammers and saws were singing in the air and you couldn’t walk a block without kicking a nail from all the new construction.
Rosy optimists that we are, we sold the pair of condos we owned outright, trading them for a downpayment on our new ghetto mansion.
It was an old Victorian, carriage house included. We lived on the top floor and ran the preschool from the bottom. A year into our new business, the housing market tanked and the neighborhood decided to race it to the bottom. Two and a half years later, at the soggy floor of the economy, Cindy believed in me enough to sever our only source of steady income.
I said I would Sink or Swim and meant it. Doggy paddling was more exhausting that I imagined, but then again so is most every other thing in this world that I’m truly proud of.
We lost the house.
Losing the house was hard, but it is also the best thing that could have possibly happened. It would have been a fool’s decision to continue paying for that house, we were so upside down, parts of our head were peeking up from somewhere in Peking.
And though I believed in the neighborhood, I was wrong. In the last month there were two murders within three blocks, both in broad daylight and on the street. The corner liquor store where we buy our emergency milk had a shootout just last weekend.
Losing the house was painful, but mostly because of ego. I’m glad it happened before the stubborn mule inside me stuck it out simply because I could afford to. We held on about six months longer than we should have as it was, mortgages hitting credit cards; six, seven, eight months in a row until finally I stared into the steely eyes of truth and knew it was better to swallow my pride than choke on it, and throwing good money after bad was about the most dangerous thing I could do to the people depending on me most.
The same trusted friend who told us not to buy, also happens to manage a place just steps from the sand, so we knew where we would be moving before the house was vacant.
We now live on a narrow peninsula; a thin strip of cottages with Alamitos Bay on one side and the scent of the Pacific on the other. The neighborhood is wonderfully quiet and every night seems to mute itself in anticipation of the rolling waves.
My family is safe and we are happy.
Making a living online is scary, but I’m really glad I took the plunge and lived the adventure. I’m fortunate to have a wife with unwavering faith in me, who teaches my children to have the same.
The worst is over and an amazing ride is just beginning. Dreams are expensive, and this last one we bought on credit. I’ve never been one to abandon obligation, and will pay every penny borrowed to make our dreams come true.
We lost the house, but gained a limitless future and the knowledge that we can do anything we set our minds to.
Though I don’t ever plan to directly monetize this site, it still has a job to do. If you like what you’ve read, please pass it forward through Facebook, Twitter, or maybe even email to a friend. Thanks!
About Sean Platt
Despite all the difficulties, it would've been WAY harder to have lost the last few years with our children. Cindy and I can look at them and know that they are a direct reflection of all the time we've spent with them. That makes it easy to not regret the difficulty for a second.
Thanks for the comment, and best of luck with your own migration. :)
Wow, this post is scary and refreshing all at the same time. Scary in what the neighborhood was like and refreshing in that you and your family have a wonderful opportunity to start over again. A house is not a home and I wish you all the best as you begin the next chapter in your lives together. At the present time I'm in a similar situation, except I have three houses and wished I only had one. We are getting by, but every month I wonder what it would be like to just let go.
Thanks, man. Much appreciated.
I don't know if I'm any position to give you advice, let alone financial advice. But dude, just walk. At least consider it. I walked from a LOT of equity and am still thrilled with the decision. That house made me feel like an indentured servant, and that's one of the worst feelings in the world!
Anyway, thanks for the thoughts, PJ. And best to you. :)
I know how this goes, Sean. The same thing happened to us. My freelancing slowed, I had to find another job on top of it, my husband lost his job and couldn't get work for a year and a half, and we had to go bankrupt, an agonizing process for us that is still ongoing after over a year. But I know that at some point things will change for the better, and that whatever we've been learning in the meantime will make us ready for that change.
I admire your strength and especially your perseverance. And I'm happy that you're okay.
Let me wipe the tears from my eyes… you are a class act. Cindy is amazing and you have a beautiful family- Dude you are a WINNER… all the money in the world can't buy you what you have….
Great outlook! Thank God for family, friends and better circumstances to come.
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Hi Steph!
Awesome to see you.
Sorry about all your troubles. :( You did give me fair warning a couple of years ago that the road would be more riddled with difficulty than I expected. But hey, I do tend to see the sunny side of things, so what can I say?
Things are better and I'm finally cracking on this whole online adventure, so the future is exciting.
Love your new site! You WILL open your bookstore someday. :)
Thanks again.
Giant hugs, Michelle.
Along with all the heartache of losing the house has been the brilliant horizon of knowing everything is going to be beyond amazing, and soon at that. You are a large part of that.
No, all the money in the world could never buy what we have. That is true as the blue in the sky.
Thanks. :)
Thanks!
Yeah, the right outlook can pull you through even the worst day. I'm fortunate for a family that knows how to keep the smile on my face.
Your ability to fart sunshine continues to fire up my synapsis rather than pollute my olfactory nerves. Thouroughly pleased for you and yours to 'move on' in all the aspects necessary. Plus the entertaining way you describe it all keeps us coming back. Best, Trina
Thanks, Trina!
I try not to be too gassy!
Believe it or not, I think this neighborhood is going to lead to even more rainbows emerging from my tookus. The good news is, there might just be a pot of gold at the end of one of them!
I lost a house once and when I moved into rented accommodation I realised that I was free for the first time years. If anything went wrong, I just called up my landlord and he fixed it. When I decided to move abroad, I just had to give him two months' notice, pack up and go – and now I have an amazing view of the Red Sea from my desk :)
What we resist, persists .. but when we let go, we create a space for something even better :)
VERY well said. Yeah, I'm not in the least bit sad about the house. I wish we had more space than we have now, but it's temporary. Nothing will own me like that again.
Thanks, Isobel!
I'm so glad I found this post on Tim's blog. I've been so busy lately, I got into the habit of just marking posts in my feed reader as “read” without reading them. But this – everyone should read this. You are so brave and amazing, Sean.
By the way, I'm sure you'll become a homeowner again in a few short years if not sooner, but I also have to agree with Isobel. Home ownership is overrated.
Don't feel bad, Vered. I've not seen the inside of my reader for the last few months, no kidding. I started reading again, but there's no way I could catch up, so I'm just starting over.
But I am very glad you caught this one. :)
The year is going very well, and I've no doubt I'll have my own home soon, if that's what we want. Though renting a large flat in Barcelona does sound awfully appealing.
Wow Sean – as hard as it must have been, it sounds like you're a lot better off out of the place. A lot of folk preach home ownership to be the best thing ever – but it can be so tying, especially if you don't like where you're living. I'm glad you're getting back on track.
Your life and your family sound rich as anything to me!
Thank you so much, Marla. That is very kind. :)
Hi Cath!
Definitely much better now. And yeah, owning your own home can definitely give you a pair of concrete boots. I'm not saying we'll never own again, in fact I'd like to make it happen sooner rather than later, but the next time will follow some serious consideration.
Thank you so much for the well wishing!
I've trodden much the same path, and couldn't be happier now. Some things are far better walked away from, before we sink completely. I'm sure you will be a great success at whatever you do now, having learned from your experiences.
I came here from the Tribal Blog newsletter.
Thanks so much for the well wishing – very kind!
Not sure what the Tribal Blog newsletter is, but I've gotta check it out!
I feel like I’m reading about my own life … only we’re still holding on to this dang house. I’ll admit that I’m envious that you were able to let go. Good for you. My story isn’t finished yet. The more money I make, the more it feels like we’ll be able to ride this out until the market turns in 2 or 3 years but my daughter would be 4 by then and she just CANNOT go to school around here. We never imagined that we wouldn’t be able to sell because we bought when the buying was good before the boom back in 2004. Isn’t heinsight painful? Yes, educational too:). nnOn another note, I’m so glad to have found you and your posts. I do what you do for a living and it’s great to commiserate. My best to you!
Nice to meet you, Julie! rnrnDon’t be envious. I had to let go. Left to my own (foolish) devices, I would’ve stayed. rnrnHindsight is a beautiful, ugly beast. :)rnrnGood to know you, and thank you for your compliments. rnrnHave a great day!
“You Are Not Alone” is the perfect comment. I am in the midst of my own storm! Looking forward when the Sunshines, as I know it will. As someone once said “This to Will Pass”.