Life’s been tap dancing on my toes for a while now. But each day this year has been better than the one before, and it’s possible that right now at this moment, I’ve never been happier.
I’m not exactly sorry I’ve been away, as I’ve been tending opportunity, and that is after all why I started a life online. But I did miss you and do thank you for the emails. It’s always nice to know when you’re being thought of.
Last week at dinner my mom said, “You know your last post is the video wishing Cindy a happy birthday, right?”
And though the month had felt like a week, the sun’s rotation rarely lies. It was odd to realize I’d unplugged from something I’d connected with daily for nearly two years. Yet even the most passionate lovers can sometimes drift apart.
I plan on posting as consistently as possible, though I’m not quite sure what that means just yet. Minutes are Evian in the Mojave right now, but I’ll do more to plan my sips a bit better.
So anyway, we’ve moved. Loaded the last of the boxes today. It is an immeasurable relief to have shed the dead skin of a previous life.
We bought the house five years back after falling for it so hard we would’ve gladly added it to our marriage certificate. This was right after I talked Cindy into leaving her job as a fourth grade teacher.
“Forget about your benefits, baby,” I gave her that grin that makes it hard for her to argue. “I’ll leave the flower shop, too. We can open a preschool together and stay with the children until they’re both in school.”
We were stretched near see-through at the time. Mia was three and Max the size of an oversized honeydew. Time was racing and slapping us on the back of the head as it whizzed on by. We both knew the first five years of our children’s life would vanish and leave us wondering where they went.
And they have.
We weren’t willing to let time win without a fight. So we bought the house, opened the preschool and stayed with Max and Mia each and every day.
We planned to expand our school, but soon found that a lack of parking meant the city would never allow us to expand our enrollment. The preschool was designed to provide us time with our children, but only delivered enough income to keep our heads above water.
It was clear we would need to move on.
Around this time I was discovering the writer inside me. That, sparked with my native entrepreneurial spirit, had us quickly closing a business with narrow walls and a ceiling low enough to crush the curls in our hair, in an eager exchange for the limitless potential of an online living.
The 18 months that followed were in many ways amazing. But they were also hard. Very hard. We jumped without a net, and though we landed a lot softer than we had any reasonable right to expect, it was still more like being thrown through glass than either of us anticipated.
We bought the house at the height of the market, the neighborhood transitional, but promising. Our realtor and close trusted friend urged us not to buy, suggesting we take our money and move to one of the city’s better neighborhoods. But a symphony of hammers and saws were singing in the air and you couldn’t walk a block without kicking a nail from all the new construction.
Rosy optimists that we are, we sold the pair of condos we owned outright, trading them for a downpayment on our new ghetto mansion.
It was an old Victorian, carriage house included. We lived on the top floor and ran the preschool from the bottom. A year into our new business, the housing market tanked and the neighborhood decided to race it to the bottom. Two and a half years later, at the soggy floor of the economy, Cindy believed in me enough to sever our only source of steady income.
I said I would Sink or Swim and meant it. Doggy paddling was more exhausting that I imagined, but then again so is most every other thing in this world that I’m truly proud of.
We lost the house.
Losing the house was hard, but it is also the best thing that could have possibly happened. It would have been a fool’s decision to continue paying for that house, we were so upside down, parts of our head were peeking up from somewhere in Peking.
And though I believed in the neighborhood, I was wrong. In the last month there were two murders within three blocks, both in broad daylight and on the street. The corner liquor store where we buy our emergency milk had a shootout just last weekend.
Losing the house was painful, but mostly because of ego. I’m glad it happened before the stubborn mule inside me stuck it out simply because I could afford to. We held on about six months longer than we should have as it was, mortgages hitting credit cards; six, seven, eight months in a row until finally I stared into the steely eyes of truth and knew it was better to swallow my pride than choke on it, and throwing good money after bad was about the most dangerous thing I could do to the people depending on me most.
The same trusted friend who told us not to buy, also happens to manage a place just steps from the sand, so we knew where we would be moving before the house was vacant.
We now live on a narrow peninsula; a thin strip of cottages with Alamitos Bay on one side and the scent of the Pacific on the other. The neighborhood is wonderfully quiet and every night seems to mute itself in anticipation of the rolling waves.
My family is safe and we are happy.
Making a living online is scary, but I’m really glad I took the plunge and lived the adventure. I’m fortunate to have a wife with unwavering faith in me, who teaches my children to have the same.
The worst is over and an amazing ride is just beginning. Dreams are expensive, and this last one we bought on credit. I’ve never been one to abandon obligation, and will pay every penny borrowed to make our dreams come true.
We lost the house, but gained a limitless future and the knowledge that we can do anything we set our minds to.
Though I don’t ever plan to directly monetize this site, it still has a job to do. If you like what you’ve read, please pass it forward through Facebook, Twitter, or maybe even email to a friend. Thanks!
About Sean Platt
Hey Sean, I love the way you put it all out there and let us into your world. Great things are coming your way soon. Much love to you and Cindy and the kids!
Tracing O'Connor
Hey Tracing!
It felt really great to finally write something again, and I'm always happy to leave the windows open when I do. Yes, the future is bright, and I'm so glad that you are a part of it. :)
I'm so glad that you can focus on what you HAVE: a happy family, your health, and uhm, all of us :) Safe journeys onward!
AWESOME! Glad you are safer and out of the constant crime.
Always a pleasure to read how you phrase things with a fresh mix of words.
Happy Housewarming Time!
Sean,
The truth and honesty with which you live is a shining example of what is good and right in this world. Keep believing in the dream….
Be well, awesome friend….
Lance
Thanks Andy!
The travels are good. Not as far sweeping as the ones that take you, but far enough to keep me fully engaged and happy. :)
Have a great day.
Hiya Lori!
Safe, quiet, happy. It felt really good to write this out yesterday. TOO good maybe. :)
I have to find the time to keep the writing going. It is, after all, why I started.
Happy Monday, Lori! Great to see you.
Hey Lance,
Thanks for saying that! That is very very kind.
My truth and honesty is my own little “Levity Project!”
How did it go this weekend?
That is very tough, but I'm glad you have such a great attitude. We did something similar, though we own our house and land outright, but my husband believed in me enough to leave his job and stay with the kids while I worked. We've had dips, but in the end it works out!
The new place sounds FAR better than the old.
The Internet is so full of people saying how brilliant every aspect of their life is it takes real guts to admit when things aren't going according to plan.
This kind of thing will only prove to make you stronger and I bet that in 5 years time when you look back you'll actually not change a thing.
I think that's the key right there, having someone believe in you enough to get you through all the ups and downs. I'd like to believe I could've hung in no matter what, but Cindy's tireless support really was the scaffolding that made it easy to cling to the dream.
Yes, it is FAR better. :)
Hey Sean!
I LOVE it — your own little “Levity Project”!!
The Levity Project: LA was a big success!! Here's a video from part of the event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNVZUIHJ-Pw
Have an AMAZING day!!
Hi Tim!
No one's life is perfectly brilliant. Ever. No matter what they say. But there's something cathartic in being able to own the imperfection.
Thanks for everything, Tim. It's great to see you. :)
You too, buddy. And thanks!
Wow, I don't even know what to say, except I've missed your posts and I'm rooting for you. :)
:)
You've said it perfectly.
I'll be back. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
I feel sad that you lost your beautiful victorian, but have always wished a “magic fairy” could have put it in a better neighborhood. The kids will love playing at the beach all summer and eventually you may have a home that is footsteps from their school, which seems to have become their second home. love and luck to all. xo mom
Hey Ma,
I'm not sad about the house at all, as it would've taken more time and money to make livable than we would ever reasonably have. Even a magic fairy couldn't fix a century's worth of abuse.
I am sad about the equity, but oh wellz, moving on and dreaming big will take care of that in the long run!
you are one awesome person Sean. Glad the family is safe. SO good to see you on the twitter stream.
Much Love.
Good to be back!
If I go missing again, please make sure to drag me back.
All smiles.
:) :) :)
Hi Sean ..gosh what a lot going on .. and I know how you can say you feel released and free – a new start, a fresh beginning .. but you've started you've got your writing .. bon chance .. look after yourselves .. and see you around in due course .. Happy times .. Hilary
Thanks Hilary!
Yes, I've got everything that's important to me all in one place. Family, freedom and the unparalleled beauty of a new horizon.
Happy times indeed.
Welcome back, buddy. Glad to see your writing hasn't rusted. Also, glad to see you in a neighborhood where you're less likely to get shot for the sin of walking outside at the wrong time.
Yeah, but in this neighborhood I do have to worry about all the half naked people parading by my window every five minutes. REALLY hard to write under such conditions. :)
You sound like a wonderful family. How nice to see a couple working together even when times are touch. Bless you and the best of luck in the future!
Hmm..I might need to examine this situation further..
Hey Danny,
What do you need to examine? Tell me more.
The window in which half naked people parade by :) lol
Oh, hahahaha. That's funny. Probably would've made sense if I'd read it on
site rather than through email!
What can I say love? Life is not only better with right words, but the right neighborhood. Your words gives our final bow integrity, diligence, and the closure that is necessary to move forward with pride and grace. I am so grateful for you and our family. The levity and altitude we are building is the good stuff life is made of. NO RAIN, NO RAINBOWS. Today I see a rainbow.
Sean,
My first reaction was “What about the marigolds?”. I went back to when I wrote in my blog “My favourite backyard story is from a man I never met. He is the only person I will name here. Sean Platt, also known as WriterDad wrote a blog called “Wrapping the Morning Glories” that actually made me weep. It reminded me of the childhood gardens I didn’t fully appreciate at the time, and of my own personal childhood “Narnia”.” However, your description of your neighborhood and what it had become was certainly nothing like the “Narnia” I had imagined. Your family's safety and happiness are what will always be the most important thing. I am so pleased that you have found a safe haven to call home. The fact that it is so near the water is amazing. To this day, my favourite home and one I have always wished to return to is a tiny log cabin I lived in on the beach. Every night the waves would soothe me to sleep. It was a happy, healing place.
I wish you only the best as you start this new adventure in your lives.
That's it – closure! Writing that gave me a lot more closure than I'd realized. Now if I only published all the stuff I wrote during the dreary dreggy worst of it!
Awwww Michelle, that is too sweet.
Thanks so much for your well wishes. Yes, the morning glories are still beautiful, as is the bougainvillea that crawls up the side of the house, but the rest of the neighborhood is a thorny patch of brambles that is mostly decay in our garden.
With our fresh digs, I'll have the brainwaves to pop out some more Available Darkness!
Thanks Michelle. :)
Sounds like a great move for your family Sean! Are you anywhere near us? It would be great to meet at the park. I can't believe the school year is almost over! We are expecting baby number three and change is a comin for us as well. Give my love to Cindy and the kids.
Hi Karen!
Somehow I KNEW you'd comment today. :)
Congratulations on baby #3! Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet? Come on, you need some estrogen to even things out over there!
We'd love to get together sometime this summer. I'll send you our address in an email sometime later tonight.
Thanks for stopping by.
Oh wow. A lot had happened in this period of time, huh? All these decisions you were making were for the kids, and it was good that you got out of the unsafe area. Sounds like a good new start for you. Be cautiously excited. :-)
Sean, once again you've tugged at my heartstrings, your goodness and strength, your optimism and hope and realism—and your honesty—so endearing. Used to be, back in the day, this way of being was commonplace, yet it seems so rare these days, and all the more precious for it. Thank you for sharing your story and yourself so openly. You lift my heart.
Thanks Julie!
I agree with you about our shifting nature. It does seem like some of the elements of what it takes to be a good man have been lost. I think it's probably commercial television and Arby's that did it. :)
I was really happy to write this, and it reminded me that I need to do it a lot more.
I will be back soon.
Promise.
Ha, yes, cautiously excited for sure.
I'm quite positive the worst is over and the best is well underway, but I'm doing all I can to not count my chickens before they hatch (counting chickens fetuses is something I'm really, really bad at!)
Thanks Kelvin!
Much love to you and your family, Sean. You're my favorite blogger among so many great bloggers. Life is full of bumps and bruises and the end result is often so much better than what we expected. Nine years ago when my marriage ended I had to leave the comfort of a huge home and live realistically within my one, and only, budget with five children who were then ages 6 mos to 16. I have rarely had financial support from my ex, and never emotional, so I am SO happy that you have the support of your wife and family. It's important. What I do know is, we all make it if we persevere. In fact, I'm happier NOW in a home 1/2 the size (With a not so gorgeous view of my neighbor sunning her ample self on her deck) and my children have never once complained. Home is home…no matter if you own, rent or borrow. xo
That is impossibly kind, Cheryl. Thank you so much.
Yes, home is where the heart is, and I think I'll be able to be much happier and more productive in this space. My children are safe and we are comfortable and that is all that matters.
And yeah, I can't for the life of me imagine doing any of this without the eternal support of Cindy. She really does make it easy. I'm a fighter, so it's hard for me to believe I would've surrendered, but I know it would have taken a lot longer and been a lot harder without her!
Thanks so much for sharing this – a reminder to me to keep things in perspective, and a beautiful example of how life is better with the right words ;-)
Good luck to you and your family in the new place.
And the say optimism is dead … Good luck
Thank you for sharing your story. Our story mirrors yours and I've almost felt guilty for being so relieved that the struggle to keep this initial dream of a home is ending. It truly is a new beginning when you allow a door to close.
Sean,
Thank you for sharing your experience and doing it with such class and honesty. You are such a delight! Maybe you didn't “lose” your house – you simply let it go. You are not your house! ;-) All the best to you..
Hi Joanna!
Hey, my pleasure. It's the confident writing that helps me get closure. :)
Have an awesome day!
Optimism is alive and well. Thanks so much for the well wishing!
You have tons of courage to go out there and do what you did. I tip my hat to you for going for your dream. I have a 7 month old and I can relate when it comes to wanting to be with him every second of the day. Glad your family is in a safer 'hood. I'm hoping to do the same in a couple years.
Yeah, letting go of the house was one of the hardest things I had to do in the last couple of years, but it will no doubt prove to be one of the best.
Thanks!
Hi Diane,
My pleasure, and thank you for the compliments. I agree, I didn't lose the house. We let it go so that we could hold on to something bigger. We are not our house, and because we made this online game work for us (finally), we will soon be able to live anywhere in the world we choose.
Thanks. :)