“Dammit!”

I knew I should have pulled off sooner.

According to my directions I’m still a few miles shy of the Kodak Theater. I’m late for the conference, lost, and the emergency light on my fuel gauge has been lit for ten minutes.

I look left, then straight ahead, both directions showing nothing but a sea of stalled metal and red lights. I sigh, flick my blinker, then turn the steering wheel of the old Sienna right, cursing myself in every word I know in my native tongue, plus a few I know in others.

I shouldn’t have left Long Beach without gassing up.

I thought I could make it, left home with more than a quarter tank and only 30 miles to go. It was early, but LA traffic can be murder and I wanted to get into the heart of the city before the arteries clogged. The last 90 minutes spent at near standstill had reduced the tank to fumes. Now I was winding my way through the canyons of Mulholland Drive without direction in the vain hope I’d stumble upon a gas station before the Sienna started to sputter.

I suddenly smiled.

I remembered my miracle phone came complete with GPS. I pulled to the side of the road, which apparently angered the man in the black Escalade who gunned his engine and sat on his horn as he passed me.

I picked up the phone and hit the MAPS app, typing the word gas into the search field. A small map of the city appeared with one pin for me along with several other pins for gas stations dotted around my proximity, the closest of which was 0.4 miles away.

0.4 miles away!

It was almost spitting distance, but also in a place I never would have looked. Five minutes later and I was topping my tank and typing “Kodak Theater” into the Map. A neat blue line showed me exactly how to get from my A to B.

At lunch, I decided to get out of the theater and off for a walk. The streets of Hollywood are amusing after all. The Kodak is where the Academy Awards are held and sits directly next to the Mann’s Chinese Theater, where a riot of costumed panhandlers gather for passing attention. That day I saw Batman, Captain America, Shrek, Darth Vadar and Jack Sparrow, and that was just while I was descending the stairs. I stood on the corner and took out my phone. I knew where I wanted to go, just not how to get there. After listening to countless people over the previous two weeks telling me I needed to read Gary Vaynerchuck’s Crush It, I’d  finally decided to go to the book store and buy it.

I typed “Borders” into the map and it blinked back with a route, a half mile away.

Of all the things I expected to love about the iPhone, the Map feature wasn’t even on my radar. Perhaps it’s because my first several years behind the wheel were spent doing deliveries and as a result I’ve driven tens of thousands of miles while having to navigate my next move on the fly, or maybe it’s that I’ve lived in the same area my entire life. Could be I’m a dude and therefore allergic to asking for directions. For whatever reason, I love that now when I need directions, there’s a genie in my pocket that will help me and never tell anyone I needed to know.

Thanks for keeping my secret.

Writer Dad

“The iPhone is the most sophisticated, outlook-challenging piece of electronics to come along in years. It does so many things so well and all so pleasurably.”
~ David Pogue, US technology writer as Apple’s new iPhone hits US shelves June 2007.

I’ve hedged on this post for a while. You see, I really don’t want to be that guy. I’m rather private about such things, and don’t think anyone needs to know what type of phone I slip in my pocket. One of the first things I did the day I got the phone was go into the settings so I could remove the little thingy that says, “sent from my iPhone” and sent an email to Dave asking if it showed up.

Thing is, I’ve been wanting an iPhone since they were only a whisper. As you may know, I have a borderline fetish for shiny products made by Apple and back when the iPhone existed only as rumor, I kept tab on the blather daily. I watched Steve Jobs give the keynote announcing Cupertino’s newest wonder five minutes after it went live, then made Cindy watch it with me later that night.

Unfortunately for me, the iPhone over delivered. It was far more phone than I could ever justify at the time. I ran a preschool and needed to check my email once a day at the most. Besides, I was a half solar system away from being able to afford a $500 phone, the cost for awesome when first unveiled. The last two and a half years have been kind to my needs. Now the iPhone is only $200 and I check my email in between blinks.

Anyone who knows me well has seen me get overhyped on something only to get woefully deflated once I experience it. This happens often with movies, but holds true with many other things as well. After a year and a half waiting for an iPhone, was it even possible for it to live up to my expectations?

I don’t think there’s ever been anything without a beating heart that’s managed to impress me more. The iPhone isn’t just the most remarkable piece of technology I’ve ever personally seen, I believe it is in many ways the future.

There’s something inevitable about the iPhone. It just works, and I believe certain elements of the gadget will not only make their way into the design of nearly every future phone to follow, but in operating systems in general. When I use the iPhone, it is easy for me to imagine Apple’s followup to OS X as a touch screen operating system based on the roots of everything the company has learned in designing their pocket device from the ground up.

I LOVE that everything on my desktop is synced in my pocket. I love that I have full access to every document I own at any time. But more than that, I love that iPhone knows how to volley with my brain. The iPhone operates on instinct and that is a remarkable thing.

I do believe there is a danger in having such a powerful tool in society’s pocket, but I’ll talk about that another time, perhaps next week. For now my iPhone is still shiny and I want to wax poetic as long as I can. I could go on and on (and to be honest, on and on some more) but you’ve been patient enough for today.

Tomorrow I’ll tell a story about how I got to use it’s awesomeness to save my hide last week in real life.

Writer Dad

I‘m so excited for a brand new Monday, a new week of opportunity to catch up after the duo of conferences and raging illness that chased them like an angry banshee. I’m much better now, but it’s been a while since I felt that beat.

I normally think of sick as involving lots of liquids in plenty of places, but this was a different and rather dry sort of agony. I felt as though someone took my bones and replaced them with pain while an army of tiny spiders with fire for blood laid their eggs in the meat of my throat.

I went to dinner with my friend Jimmy after the conference on Wednesday. Jimmy was my brother growing up, but I now see him about as often as I buy a new car. Jimmy owns a production company and works in Hollywood. I have two children and live in Long Beach. Our worlds orbit in affection, but rarely intersect. Wednesday was awesome; we were in the same city at the same time and a dinner date was as easy as a phone call.

We sat at our table until I was sure I had waited out the traffic, a good call considering the same trip that had taken me two hours and ten minutes the day before took me thirty-two minutes that night. I got home, went to bed smiling, and woke up the next day feeling as though I’d fallen from the tree of torment and been slapped in the face by every branch on the way down.

And that’s the way it was for the next two days. I started feeling slightly better on Saturday morning, though not enough to go forward with my earlier plans for Halloween. My friend Roberto called to ask when we’d be over and I said we’d be sending a triangle of family instead of a square. After fifteen minutes or so of feeling like I was telling him the Great Pumpkin didn’t exist, and him promising me I could lie on the couch and do nothing while he made me tea for my throat that was sure to make me feel like I was being kissed by angels, I agreed to come over as long as I didn’t take a turn for the worse.

By the time of departure I felt no better or worse and didn’t want to disappoint anyone, so I climbed into the car as passenger rather than driver and we were off to Halloween. Fortunately, I didn’t have to dress up. Going along with the Star Wars kick my kids have been on, we all went as a favorite character. Cindy and Mia were both different versions of Leia. Max was an awesome little Darth, with a helmet about nine times to big for his tiny face. He swam in it like Rick Morannis as Dark Helmet in Spaceballs. I went as an all purpose Jedi, my costume consisting of the most comfortable bottoms in my dresser below a well worn chocolate colored cotton tee, all wrapped in a bathrobe.

I was bummed to miss out on the trick-or-treating. I’ve always loved it, never really grown out of it, and each year feel like an old fogey for thinking the holiday just isn’t the same as it used to be. But it was awesome to lie on the couch listening to friends and family having fun. I was grateful for the warmth of the house and happy I didn’t decide to stay home and end up missing it.

After the trick-or-treating ended, I fell into what were two of the longest hours of my life. My full sick came back to stare me in the eyes, demanding to know who I thought I was that I could leave the house just because it was Halloween. My skin started to burn over my icy cold insides as my bones rattled beneath the blanket. All four of my limbs felt like they were being pulled apart by wild bucking horses and you could have easily filled a soup bowl by ringing out my tee-shirt.

Every minute felt like ten until time finally fell back into its normal rhythm. Some sudden victory was apparently won inside the depths of my body and a fraction of my strength returned.

Though my throat is still raw and it does feel as though planes are trying to land on a runway between my ears, I am otherwise fine. I feel reasonably strong and eager for the week.

Halloween was as awesome as it could have been considering and I’m already excited for next year!

Writer Dad

Ugh.

I’m sick.

Like every bone in my body aching, burning the cool of my pillow and have no idea if I should sit or stand over the toilet – SICK.

Not sure if it was Vegas or the 140 Character (Twitter) Conference in LA that finally did me in, but I’m utterly spent and uber behind.

We only had a couple of Vegas questions, so I’ll knock those out now.

Trina: Yes, Vegas was a terrific venue for the event, and no, it wasn’t too distracting. I didn’t particularly care for the night club scene, but you could pick and choose the attended events and that worked well for me. The convention center was spacious and there were plenty of restaurants and hot spots for meet-ups afterwards.

George: I met lots of people, but the most rewarding for me were Brian Clark and Naomi Dunford. I was happy to find them both exactly who I hoped they would be. I don’t like being disappointed in people and it was one of my early fears in attending the conference. I’d have to say no, I didn’t exactly learn anything new, but I did many of my thoughts crystalized in the best way possible and the rampant eye contact was awesome. My blogging will continue to evolve as it has since I started last year, but if there’s a single takeaway I had from the conference it’s that I’m not a “blogger,” I’m a businessman who happens to use blogs as just one of many effective online tools. P.S. George, I have been reading your site and think you may be certifiably insane.

Kool Aid: It was terrific to finally meet Eric in person. One of the highlights of the weekend was having a late dinner at the Venetian, just the two of us. We were sitting at the Mirage, in a smoky black nightclub with cocktail waitresses that looked like they’d been blown up with a bicycle pump. It took us all of ten minutes to blow that joint, then stroll the strip until we hit the Venetian, which is one of my favorite places and also happens to be where Cindy and I got married. I had a chicken meatball sandwich and awesome conversation to cap off a really cool day.

Vegas was a lot of fun and I’m already looking forward to South by Southwest in spring. I’m hoping to get Dave to go, so if anyone wants to start nagging him now, that would be awesome.

Thank you so much to everyone who voted for me on the Good Mood Gig. Your support was awesome! However, with only a week to go and a couple thousand votes shy of the top 20, I’m pulling out and asking that if you were voting for me, please go ahead and vote for Tracy O’Connor. She’s awesome and got me involved in the first place. Same as before, votes take just 4 seconds but could have a GINORMOUS impact on her life.

Thanks, and see you next week!

Writer Dad

Today’s post is written by Kool Aid. No, that’s not her real name and no she isn’t going to share it with you. She only told me because I told her I don’t allow guest posts from giant pitchers of dyed sugar water that are likely to punch through one of my walls. Oh yeah.

It’s not too late to jump to Monday’s post and ask questions either about Vegas or questions for Max and Mia.

Thanks and I hope you enjoy!

The awesome photo is taken by Kool Aid of a knife she actually made.

Capturing an idea is often like gathering lightning, as Writer Dad once wrote so beautifully.

Developing that idea, however, is something else entirely. Sometimes it is a steel blank, forged in the flames of creativity; heated and hammered and pounded against the anvil through sweat, muscle and sometimes even crimson blood and salted tears.

That idea slowly surfaces over time as effort gives form to thought.

While working on my BFA in Metal Design, some creative ideas came quickly while others had to be coaxed. Sometimes putting pencil to paper to sketch those 3-dimensional designs of wood or metal was a challenge. We were taught to keep working, to think outside the box, to push an idea further and further. Often, these strategies led to an amazing piece of art; other times they were only exercises in frustration which never allowed me to leave the two dimensions of the doodled page.

I have boxes and drawers heaped with unfinished work; tarnished, scratched and waiting for that last bit of polish and gleam.

But then there’s a spark of an idea and the creative forge is built. Head, hands and heart team to breathe life and fire into the idea and a work of art, a fine metal blade, emerges.

The final stage of making a knife is sharpening that blade. Microscopic metal teeth align perfectly to cast a razor-sharp edge. Both the idea and the knife reach a point where the work is done; you just have to recognize when to stop.

It’s hard, sometimes, when you keep visualizing that last and final piece required to make it “perfect.” You keep pushing and pushing, adding, editing, making changes. You sharpen that blade long past the razor’s edge. The idea gets dragged out and you realize, at some point along the way, you pushed too far and perhaps stripped too much of the metal. You step back and see bits of shavings and dust littering the table and floor and discover that your work – that fantastic idea you’ve been so diligently working on – is losing itself in your quest for perfection.

That spark of creativity is a lifelong learning process. Knowing when to allow the idea to simply exist as a single bolt of lightning, take the time and effort to forge it into something else and then knowing when to rest are all skills developed over time and experience.

In your creativity, are you honing that fine edge or just shaving away bits of metal?

Drink more Kool Aid at Butterflies in my Hand

Click HERE to trade your 4 seconds for my dream come true!

The Closest I Come to Begging from Sean Platt on Vimeo.

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

I just got home from Vegas – the first nights I’ve spent apart from Cindy in a decade and the first I’ve ever spent absent from the children since they were born. It felt odd to be away, but the trip was rather amazing and packed with rewards I never expected.

That post about fear last Friday was in reference to my trip. The lump in my throat was so large before leaving, my normally giant Adam’s apple probably looked like a bit like a trapped gopher. I’ve no problem talking to people once I get going, but usually have to wrangle the cat for my tongue during the first fifteen minutes of any first-time encounter. I was also worried that people I enjoyed online would be somehow different in person.

As usual the scariest thing was the fear itself.

The trip was wonderful, though I am relieved to finally be home, back to my own bed and most favorite people. I’m facing inbox overload and do need to catch up, but I’ll talk a bit more about the trip a little later in the week. For now, thanks for being here and it’s great to be back.

Writer Dad

Only a couple of weeks to cast your vote and help me land the Good Mood Blogger gig! You can vote once per day and it takes only 4 seconds. THANKS!

Fear is one of the most potent fuels there is. The trick lies in never allowing it to cripple you.

Those times in my life when I’ve had a lump in my throat and a wobble in my knees are often the same moments when I have found myself standing at the edge of something significant; an opportunity to enhance the potential of my future, shape the quality of my present or justify the record of my past.

All too often people misunderstand fear, believing it is something to be avoided rather than vanquished. This is untrue. Fear is as regular as any other human emotion. Its absence makes you deficient, not courageous.

The next time you feel the fear mounting like water rolling to a boil, swallow the lump and look terror right between his tiny eyes. Chances are, you will find yourself on the far side of where you were too scared to go.

“Most People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

Yesterday I published the first half of this uber long post on happiness. If you enjoyed it, or this, please take a couple of seconds and vote for me. Thanks!

Click here for the first 10 ways to be happy and please enjoy the remaining 14.

11) Know yourself. The best way to get to know yourself is through the continuous reconstruction of your character. Set regular goals, then meet or exceed them as often as you can. Do what you say you are going to do and make sure everyone around you can expect you to be your best self. Know who you are and never squander the joy of your own life by trying to meld it to the expectations of others.

12) Accentuate the positive. You can’t control every negative thought that seeps through the seams of your mind, but you can control a lot of them, and even the worst situations can be viewed from a positive vista. Truly happy people believe that no matter how bad circumstances might be, there is always a positive to draw from the situation. Your mind is the most powerful element in your personal universe; it can grant you a life that is swollen with smiles or completely void of rapture. The view is largely up to you.

13) Beware of your obsessions. Ambition is good, obsession is not. It is important to know what you want from life and then be willing to do what it takes to get it. However, allowing your goals to become the gnarled and twisted knuckles that make you dance upon a puppet’s strings, is never a good thing. If a goal is something you think about nearly as often as you draw breath, you have likely lost the balance in your life.

14) Listen to your body. Eat when you’re hungry, nap when you need it. Your body is far more vocal than you probably realize. By listening to its essential needs, and doing your best to satisfy them, you will not only live a longer, healthier life, you will also be happier for more of the days that you’re here. You are what you eat. Pay attention to what makes you feel slow, tired or lethargic. Eat the opposite.

15) Be a hard worker. There is tremendous satisfaction gained by being good at what you do, consistently completing tasks and constantly pushing yourself forward. One of the simplest ways to find true happiness is to do work that is worthy of you and then doing that work to the best of your ability.

16) Be a constant learner. Internal growth is one of the fundamental ingredients to a healthy, happy heart. Never stop learning. Be forever willing to grow, expand your mind, and constantly commit yourself to fresh challenges. Read, listen, and adapt. Stretch your mind to accommodate and understand new ideas and information. A constant learner is rarely bored and an engaged mind is often happy.

17) Enjoy the silence. Solitude can be sublime. Modern life is increasingly filled with a multitude of almost magical distractions, but it is always a good idea to take time from the to daily pandemonium to mediate. Wrap yourself in occasional silence and reflect on your life and those things that are truly important to you. Long periods of uninterrupted quiet can often lead to some of life’s most astonishing epiphanies.

18) Enjoy your body. Walk, run, stretch. Ride a bike, swim laps, dance as though no one’s watching. Enjoy a meal, make vehement love, luxuriate in the long sweeps of a lengthy massage. Your body can be a source of joy or the origin of an abundance of aches and pains. Learn to enjoy it and you will naturally want to take care of it. A healthy body often harbors a happy heart.

19) Surround yourself with happy people. Happiness is contagious. People who experience happiness or good fortune often pass the positive vibes to those around them. Happy people tend to travel in tribes. Make sure you are running with the right crowd.

20) Be a problem solver. Inner frustration can often be traced to problems that our subconscious is well aware of, but has not yet dealt with. Identifying the difficulties of our days, both professionally and personally, and then manufacturing solutions can keep us happy, even when things get difficult.

21) Keep things in perspective. Understanding whether something is really worth getting upset about or whether it is actually quite small is a wonderful life skill, worth sharpening to a razor’s edge. Don’t ever surrender to self-pity. If you are feeling overwhelmed, this only means you’re human. Identify your problems, one at a time, appropriately gauge their impact on your life, and never allow the small stuff to swallow you whole. Happy people, in general, never sweat the small stuff.

22) Simplify your life. Face it, you multitask too much. We all do. I’m probably more guilty of breaking this oath than anything else on the list. By trying to get too much done, and all by yesterday, I infuse stress into my life. Unneeded tasks and unwanted clutter, both are equally responsible for adding chaos to the our days. Make sure you are filling your life with the things you truly want to keep and the actions that hold a true benefit to your life. Nothing more is needed.

23) Accept your emotions. Negative emotions have value, nearly as much as the positive. The key is in first accepting and identifying your emotions, then allowing them to help you create a more realistic worldview. Pay close attention to your feelings and how the outside world affects you. You do not need to act on every emotion, but you can slowly groom your disposition through repetitive behavior. Consistently respond to things with patience and understanding and soon enough patience and understanding will be character traits you can be genuinely proud of.

24) Treat yourself. Money can’t buy happiness. Still, an occasional indulgence can sometimes do the trick. Know the purpose in your purchase, and never do anything that will lead to regret, but understanding that our time on the planet is short and that it is meant to be enjoyed can do wonders for your life’s contentment.

Abraham Lincoln had a point. There are many things in our lives that we can do nothing about. Allowing them to erode our happiness is a decision. Look around and do the best you can with those things that are in your control and you will live a life that is happier than you ever imagined.

Writer Dad

If you enjoyed this post, please tweet it (button is at the top) or vote for me (I promise it takes less than 5 seconds!)

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

About a week ago Tracy O’Connor emailed me about a contest that I haven’t been able to erase from my head since. It’s for the “Good Mood Gig,” a six month stint where I would have to write a daily post about being happy.

So basically, if I win, I will get paid good money to do something I would want to do anyway, while being able to spend the next six months writing exactly what I want to for the first time since stepping online.

Sounds like a recipe for happiness to me!

I thought it would be nice to slip into the skin of a good mood blogger and write a post about “how to be happy.” If you enjoy the post, I would greatly appreciate it if you could please take two seconds to click on the link and send me a vote (if you’ve already done this, thanks! Votes can be cast once per day). I ended up writing and couldn’t easily stop, so I divided the post into two parts. The first ten points are today and the rest will follow tomorrow.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Most people wander through their lives expecting that they will eventually stumble into their own version of happiness, sometime in the distant future. They tell themselves that if they can only get to that place (whatever that place may be), then their lives will have finally found the footing they need to allow them to take a step back and truly enjoy their surroundings.

That is like waiting in line all day for a ride that may or may not be working.

A new car or a bigger house isn’t going to make you any happier. Neither will a brand new iPhone or everything on page 47 of the Pottery Barn catalogue. Yes, luxuries are nice and there is something to be said for material possessions that accentuate our lives and validate our hard work, but happiness is an internal quality and therefore impossible to gather through the exchange of money.

Material rewards are temporarily thrilling, but they have a brief half-life and once their shine has dulled, they might just leave you feeling emptier than you did before.

I am not an expert on happiness, though I do hope the judges of the contest decide otherwise. I can only speak for myself, and speaking for myself, these are ten traits I believe can make a person truly happy.

1) Appreciate what you have. Don’t waste your minutes dwelling on all you don’t have. Acknowledge all you do have and show your gratitude with your behavior. Good health, a steady job, a roof over your head, food on your table and a family that loves you. Chances are, you’re far better off than the generations before you. Do the future a favor – show the coming generations that gratitude isn’t dead.

2) Be comfortable in your own skin. Accept who you are, warts and all, and do your best each day to take the Cadillac of your confidence out of the garage. You can’t make people like you, but you can like yourself, and sometimes that’s the best invitation. Of course, you can always look to improve those things about yourself that you are not yet happy with, but you should never forget to love who you are on the way to loving who you may one day be.

3) Acknowledge that you deserve to be happy. If you don’t believe that you deserve your own happiness, then you are burying your chances in the back yard. Only you can build the road to your contentment, day by day and brick by brick. Along with life and liberty, the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right. This doesn’t mean you have the right to expect that things will always go your way, but it does mean that the quest for happiness is an essential part of a well lived life.

4) Enjoy the present. Be satisfied with where you. It is a great thing to have goals and aspirations; a full life is filled with constant climbing. However, staring only at the horizon will prevent you from seeing the beauty of what surrounds you in any given moment. Never permit your present to get swept away by the winds of a tomorrow that may never come.

5) Be nice. Karma, the Golden rule, or whatever you want to call it – what goes around does come around. Practice kindness and you will be amazed at the feelings you will foster inside yourself. Hold the door open for an elderly person, volunteer your time, money, or both, to your favorite charity. Hand out sincere compliments as though they’re candy on Halloween. Your own problems will diminish once you remove the focus from yourself and put it on others.

6) Ask for help. Problems held inside can easily fester. This doesn’t mean you should lean on others without ever taking responsibility for yourself, but you need not assume that others will feel burdened by helping you out. Think about it, doesn’t it feel good when you go out of your way to help others? See number 5.

7) Do something each day to move your life forward. Few things can fuel a wonderful life like forward momentum. Positive motion keeps you from feeling as though you are a victim. Establishing your goals, consistently meeting them, then setting new ones, is a sound blueprint for a happy, productive life. Enough baby steps can push you further than you ever expected to go.

8) Learn from the past. Don’t regret your personal past. Everyone makes mistakes. Never allow the blunders of yesterday to dictate the patterns of your tomorrow. Instead, use the mistakes you have made to help you shape your most powerful direction. Learn from your errors. Instead of living in the past and allowing yourself to remain a willing prisoner of the same insidious cycle, learn from the past and clean the canvas for a new portrait of possibility.

9) Own your life. As humans, we have the freedom to choose nearly every element of our lives. You will not always be able to control those situations which surround you, but you are always responsible for the way in which you respond. People will annoy you, things will make you sad and life will deal you hands that feel an awful lot like feet, but casting yourself as the victim will help to cement it as your identity. Own your life and wear a smile on your face. 


10) Follow your muse. Following your passions can lead you directly to undiluted joy. Engage your curiosity, find out what you love most, then do all you can each day to capture whatever it is that makes you the happiest.

Writer Dad

Tune in tomorrow for the rest of my happy list. If you enjoyed this first half, please tweet it (button is at the top) or vote for me (I promise it takes less than five seconds!) Thanks.