I wish I had more time to write for you.

Like the mom who is always last to eat, or the cobbler with tattered shoes on their children’s feet, you rarely get the words you deserve.

But I promise, even when I’m writing about spaceships or zombies or the end of the world, every sentence rains in your garden.

I have more words than anyone I know, yet they’re sand between my fingers when it comes to saying I love you, or telling you how much you mean to me, and how much you’ve shifted the plates of my world.

Happy birthday, happy Mother’s Day, and happy every day for the rest of our lives. 

Thank you for being such a wonderful mom to our children; the first to praise and last to complain, the one who greets each morning with the scent of coffee and encouraging words.

Ethan, Haley and me could all count on you as much as the sun in California. Even more in Ohio.

Your faith in me has made these last four years possible. Without you I never would have picked up the pen. And even if I had, crawling through the slime in the serpentine tunnel would have been too much for me to bear.

I could only inch toward the light at the end of the tunnel because you were always holding the beam steady.

You are forever patient, with me and the children, listening to us all, even if that means setting your own desires at the back of the line. You are an amazing friend and a remarkable mother; the heat at the end of my match and the flame that keeps me burning.

I am so proud to have you as my best friend and wife, and know that the night I called you back was the single smartest thing I ever did. I love to spoil you because no one ever did, and love to make you laugh because every smile murders more of the sadness inside you.

You deserve to have the most beautiful birthday, and celebrated Mother’s Day of your still young life. You are as beautiful to me as the day I saw you on the other side of my counter, smiling and hoping and waiting, now infinitely more alluring for the million or so seconds we’ve shared since.

I will stare into your giant chocolate eyes forever, knowing they are the one place in this world where I am truly home.

My words are for you. Thank you for how much you make it possible for me to write so many of them.

I love you so. Happy birthday, and happy Mother’s Day!

Yesterday was his birthday, as well as the final day of school and kindergarten graduation, which meant steady bursts of buzzed emotion for the four of us, all throughout the day.

Max is extraordinary. Though describing his incredible qualities would be difficult without the benefit of seeing his gorgeous green eyes dance, my sister’s description is lovely:

“He’s like the magical boy in the movies who comes to town and changes everyone’s life for the better.”

He is delightful, generous, and entertaining, but rascally enough to let the world know he is a boy and definitely not broken. Different enough from his sister to assure me nature and nurture are hard at work, though perhaps on different floors of the factory.

When told she could have anything she wanted for her birthday dinner, Mia went with lobster. For Max, it was, “plain pasta, if it’s not too much trouble, Mom.”

Yesterday was close to a perfect day. Max shared both birth date and celebration with a good friend from a great family, and it seemed all of kindergarten gathered at the park to sing Happy Birthday and bid farewell for the summer.

Max also left his Kinder campus with a perfect report card.

Perfect grades, perfect conduct and an end of First Grade benchmark in reading and writing. Considering his learning day is in another language, I admit to feeling twice as proud.

Max started his Kindergarten year keen to learn, but tentative, shy and not quite as ready for a Spanish school day as his sister was. And though it may have taken him longer to heat up, his fire ended up burning every bit as hot.

His teacher wrote this on his report card:

Max has done an outstanding job in Kindergarten. He is always working hard and putting all his efforts into his work. He is reading end of First Grade and I am very proud of him. He is also a fabulous writer and mathematician. He always has great stories to share with me and the class. He is a great translator and leader in class. I am very proud of all his accomplishments this year. I will really truly miss him.

Max has changed a lot this last year. The slow and lingering side of me that likes to sip my coffee and chew my food slowly, is loathe to see him grow up, up and away. But the other side, the one quickly swallowing coffee to caffeinate my day, is eager to see the man Max will soon become.

Happy birthday, buddy. You are the finest son a father could have. I am forever fortunate to have felt your tiny hand grow larger in mine, a day at a time.

I love you,

Daddy (and Mommy too)

Happy birthday, baby!

You are the bestest friend I could ever hope to have.

This year is already great and getting better! Here’s to the best one yet!

Before I ever managed to make an online dollar, my primary currency was comments, compliments and the occasional email encouraging me to continue.

Though I was always willing to work hard, these kudos kept me going; digital high-fives from around the globe giving me gallons of gas when my tank might have otherwise run dry.

Thank you so much for the emails on that last post, “A Promise to My Family.” I was stunned. Your outpouring and outreach were overwhelming.

I’ve returned home and all is well. I saw both Dave and snow for the first time, but I also stared right in the eyes of one possible future and turned my head with a smile.

The people we will be working with are absolutely wonderful. A truly delightful group of highly intelligent, fiercely motivated and wonderfully funny women (with a gentleman here and there just to liven things up).

My Magic 8-Ball is no better than yours, but things feel as they should.

I have a lot of catching up to do so I’ll be scarce for a bit, but I promise I’ll back and better than ever soon.

Thank you again, all is well.

I remember hearing a story a few years back (I think I’m getting old since a few years back was actually over 10 now that I think about it) where Ray Davies from the Kinks was in a small New York Club, listening to a punk trio blaze through their set.

There was one song in particular that seemed to tickle the ear of Mr. Davies. He found himself tapping his feet, bouncing his head and humming along at the club. The beat stayed with him and Ray found himself bopping his head to the same tune as he sang in the shower the following morning.

It wasn’t until two days later when the “Well Respected Man” finally realized that the song in his head was something he’d written some 20 years earlier.

I remember hearing that story and being filled with disbelief. “That’s impossible!” I thought,”how could anyone be so disconnected from their art?”

I had similar feelings when I read Stephen King’s on Writing and he talked about how he couldn’t remember writing a single page of Cujo. At least he offered an explanation. Seems at the time old Uncle Stevie was self medicating with about 87 different kinds of mostly illegal pharmaceuticals.

Still, how can you create something, be deeply committed to it in the moment, then barely remember it a couple of decades removed? Maybe that’s the way it was for other people, I thought, but surely not for me.

I was wrong.

I’ve been preparing something special lately. A present I’d like to give to the Writer Dad audience. No big deal really, I’ve just gathered a few reader favorites from the last year and a half. Those stories which have generated the most response, either in comments or emails received.

The weird thing was that as I was reading some of the posts, I had barely any memory of them. These were deep, intimate moments as I wrote them. Some even made me cry and yet the memory on the reread was distant enough to make me seriously wonder how well I would remember them 20 years later.

Phrases used, feelings captured, the way I once used a semi-colon; a nickname for my wife abandoned. Moments in time captured before they shifted, now forever frozen like a ship in a bottle.

Written or not, our human moments are soft, and subject to fading memory as the sun will bleach the ink in a photograph.

I’ve never been more appreciative of the man moments captured on the page.

Ah, that felt good.

Longtime readers probably know where I’m going with this.

Thanks for being patient. :)

About a year back, Cindy, Dave and I decided to create our first info product.

And um… yeah, it was about poop.

It was called Potty Training Power and was designed to help parents make potty training an enriching, positive experience, rather than the purgatory of conflict it often is.

This was after we closed our preschool, but before all our students had left. We still had one in diapers, but had just finished training a dozen in a row. We were transitioning from running the preschool to facing a zero income scenario.

So we wrote the book, designed the site, and started to run it quietly in the background of our many other projects.

Sales were modest, but reasonably steady. Yet far more than the generated income, the site has afforded our company with a constant learning experience for learning how to build, market and continuously improve an online information product.

Early last summer we decided to overhaul Potty Training Power, relaunching it on Writer Dad’s first birthday. We transformed the product from a simple e-book into a full potty training system with several separate components, each designed to help parents potty train their children with minimal strife.

Publishing weekly content on potty training, in addition to helping a steady procession of parents get through the process, ballooned our knowledge base and further equipped us to solve customer concerns. Because each system came with full e-mail support, every family who bought the product helped us to make it better.

We continued to incorporate our customer’s experience, spending another six months refining the product.

Last week we launched Potty Training Power’s third version, which now includes phone support.

This project has been interesting for our business in many ways.

At first, Potty Training Power was designed to be a set-it-and forget-it enterprise. We wanted to write an e-book, build a site to host the sales, then move on. Yet Potty Training Power is slowly growing into what I believe will be a sustainable business over time, where we can continue to help families turn their potty training into a positive experience, while also delivering a product that is unique to the market place.

This is infinitely more rewarding.

Earlier this week there was a post on Copyblogger on a similar topic. Johnny Truant wrote about how he spent his first year trying to make money building niche sites targeting dollars from AdSense before finally realizing it was best to make money the old-fashioned way – by connecting to people and offering them something of value.

I’m done with set-it-and-forget-it.

Creating something of value, that I can continue to improve over time, is far more in alignment with my natural instincts and intrinsic values.

If you have a parenting blog where a mention of Potty Training Power might be a natural fit, I’d really appreciate a shout out.

If you’re a regular Writer Dad reader who happens to be potty training, drop a comment (before the end of this week) and we’ll set you up with a complimentary download.

Even if you’re not potty training, Dave’s awesome design deserves a look. The site is squeaky clean and easy to navigate.

I’ll leave you with this cute little commercial we made last summer.

As we say on the site…

Potty training power… AWAY!

If there was a video game version of Star Wars what did it look like?

This is what mine looked like:

This is what my son’s looks like:

The game itself is older than him by three years, but still looks good enough to actually make him feel like Luke Skywalker as he blew the Death Star to Smithereens. He worked on this for about six weeks, constantly fine tuning his approach. He is very, very proud.

Congratulations buddy, I am too.

Writer Dad

Here are my thoughts.

Changing the world is a steady endeavor.

Scrolling through history, it would be impossible to find a single soul who woke up, decided they would change the world, then celebrated with a glass of wine later that evening. Those who change the world do it drip by drip, like coffee into a pot until it’s full enough to pour.

You do not need to shift the plates of humanity in order to make a difference. Some people change the world by prodding along another who will one day introduce the planet to a thought it’s not yet had, or invent the widget the world’s been waiting for to nudge itself forward.

Often, those who change the world never set out to do so. Big or small, the next subtle shift could be triggered by you. Day by day, drop by drop, the future is undecided.

How much impact would you like to have?

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

No, I’ve not yet written about Vegas yet. In fact, I’m still trying to get caught up on stuff I expected to do while there.

Yes, I actually thought I would get work done in Sin City.

I hope to have a Vegas post by tomorrow. For today I’m running an old favorite I ran across a couple of weeks ago, written late last summer after an entire three months of not gassing up the car.

Please think good thoughts for Blogger Dad and his family who are ill, and please vote for me for the Good Mood Blogger Gig. Yesterday was the best day so far and made me think we can do this, but we do have to work together. Votes can be cast once per day.

THANKS and I’ll see you tomorrow!

I had to gas up yesterday.

It made me sad.

It wasn’t because of the expense, though I did pay with a fifty and couldn’t quite tip the tank of the Toyota. It was because back in early June, Cindy and I made a bet with ourselves.

A bet we both lost.

Mia’s Immersion program is on the other side of town, as is Max’s pre-school. Our schedule requires us to burn through fuel even faster than coffee. With only two weeks left of schlepping, Cindy and I decided to see if we could go the entire summer without gassing up once.

Well we certainly tried and almost made it.

Though we did leave the house nearly every day, even Max could count the number of times we opened the car door. There is a wide array of reasons we opted not to roll through summer.

Here are a few

The price of gas is ridiculous. Last May, our gas budget swallowed our entertainment budget. That’s like buying a ticket to a show and waiting outside. Mia’s program is amazing, and free, so it’s easy enough to consider the cost of fuel as cheap tuition. That logic loses wings in summer.

Because we can. All eight of our legs are in perfect working order, and we live downtown in a reasonably sized city. We prefer to get all our laziness done on Sunday. Monday through Friday there isn’t any reason we can’t walk to 90% of the places we need to go. The grocery store, library, movie theater, book store, ice-cream, etc.

Miles are like dollars; sometimes they must felt. Just as constantly using a credit card dulls the concept of money, getting inside a vehicle to travel further than three blocks, distorts the space between A and B. In our family we rarely use credit cards and often prefer to walk. We want for our children to feel the distance, and understand it in terms that go well beyond the number of traffic lights.

Outside the car you witness the beauty of life through a different lens. Humanity looks different blurring by at thirty-five miles an hour. In a car you’re a tourist, but on the street a citizen. Behind the wheel I could never see the steam ascending a coffee cup as it loses it’s thick to the crisp air, sailing from the lips of a quiet man lost in solitude. I would miss shadows wrinkling as the electric train idles in front of city hall and pedestrians in suits, both cheap and expensive, express displeasure at having to wait.

Our children also see these things. I know because we discuss them.

Our walks are wonderful. We hold hands and look both ways. We ask questions and wait for answers. We anticipate our destination and feel the reward on arrival.

I’m glad we went the summer without waiting in line for gas. It made me wonder why we even need two cars. We most often travel in a tribe and the rare use of both vehicles at the same time reduces a necessity into a luxury.

There has been an awful lot of commotion about the mounting price of gas. Perhaps eight dollars a gallon wouldn’t be the end of the world. Maybe it would be a kind of new beginning.

Writer Dad

Please Vote! 4 seconds of your life could change mine!

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

Enjoy!

Lemmin parted his lips, then closed them again.

“And if you have any hopes of that job of yours getting any better, well you can just keep dreaming, they’ve been putting out your fires since February.”

Lemmin swallowed hard at the memory. Not like it ever left, but vented through Sheryl it seemed to harbor a few extra barbs. January could have changed everything. He had come home that New Year’s almost jolly, swimming in the strongest deja vu he’d felt in more than half his own forever. He came home to see Sheryl sighing quietly under the sheets, went out running and came back an hour later to make her breakfast. They’d stared into each other’s eyes over pancakes, for maybe the first time in a year as she listened to his parade of promises. Everything would change he said, and she believed him. Every single word. And things had started to change, almost immediately, each great day falling right into a better one.

Until the unthinkable happened. It was the impossible that had opened a wound to the inevitable.

“Looks like the traffic’s making itself comfortable.” The words just sort of fell from Lemmin’s lips, directed at no one, except perhaps himself.

“You can’t just hand everyone a ticket.” Sheryl snorted the same snort he always hated yet seemed to almost miss when it wasn’t around. “Bet you miss that siren of yours right about now.”

Lemmin lifted his head to look at the overpass, as if an extra half inch would allow him to see past the hazy glare, through 100,000 tons of steel and into the tangled nucleus of whatever trouble was intent on turning his day from bad to worse. He saw nothing, but figured he could gas up, cross the tracks and grab the freeway a mile up, maybe leaping past the largest part of the gridlock.

A minute off the freeway, Lemmin spied a horse with wings jumping from the center of a faded blue circle, swore to himself that that particular brand of station had long since gone extinct, then flashed the blinker on the Mini Cooper and pulled up next to a washed out pump to fill his dying tank. “I’ll be right back,” he said. He didn’t look at Sheryl or invite her along.

The tinny ding as Lemmin entered the liquor store pulled his thoughts from Sheryl, though only for a second. Stepping behind a guy he probably could’ve smelled from outside, his mind drifted back to thirty years before and the constant thought that he’d always be alone. He spent an adolescence waiting for someone to ask him about the scar on his cheek or the one just above his eye. He practiced his answers in the mirror so they would sound polished when finally heard.

But nobody ever asked. Either nobody wanted to know or nobody wanted to be impolite. At least no one until Sheryl, curious as she was brash.

They had known one another for maybe five entire minutes before each was making promises neither one could keep, knowing they had just enough in common to keep things interesting. It was another good five years before her two main food groups turned to Slim Fast and Valium, and a decade before long intervals of regular silence papered their walls.

“What can I get you?”

…