Talking is like playing on the harp; there is as much in laying the hands on the strings to stop their vibration as in twanging them to bring out their music.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes
Before we get started, I’d like to pass around a minty fresh box of,
“You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
There was a tittle of concern yesterday, in comments, contact, and email, that I’d be shifting the style of Writer Dad to something, perhaps a bit saltier.
I’ve no intention of changing anything about Writer Dad, except for all the little things along the way, which naturally amount to make things better.
I soberly swear on my Macbook (and everything stored in it’s beautiful little brain) that my eight letter words shall not be divided in half.
Onward.
Today I had my first interview.
Ever.
I’ve never applied for a job, and no, I never went to college.
Writer Dad! You never told us you were a deadbeat.
I’m not. I’ve worked at least forty hours a week, often far more, since I was seventeen, without once taking a two week vacation.
I’ve been in interviews more times than I can count, I’ve just never been the one answering questions.
I was surprisingly nervous.
The hard part was coordinating time. The interview had to be at precisely lunch or rest, these being the only two times of day when I can somewhat guarantee my attention for thirty minutes.
This used to be when I’d stand just out of the children’s sight, and make funny faces so that Daisy would laugh, and maybe drop a box of crayons.
It’s messy, but fun (for me) to watch when all the colors are rolling in different directions.
The appointment was settled with a few quick emails, and I was reminded for the millionth time about the life changing beauty of such an elegant innovation.
The phone rang at exactly 11:30 this afternoon.
The following is a loose transcript of the interview.
WD: Hello.
Interviewer: Hello WD. We’re interested in you. Can you talk about yourself.
WD: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
Interviewer: That’s fascinating. Tell us more.
WD: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
Interviewer: You’re really interesting. The proof is that I’m still talking to you, it’s been half an hour, and I haven’t said a thing about myself. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
WD: Sure. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
Being interviewed is amazing. I highly recommend it to everyone.
Your phone rings, You answer. You expound on a series of questions, where the only correct answers are talking about yourself, without interruption, and then are graciously thanked for your time.
Most conversations at least pretend to exist in dialogue, even when both parties know full well that it’s just two intersecting speeches.
An interview makes no such pretense.
This one was a lot of fun. It’s for an e-zine that’ll drop sometime in November.
But there’s another one coming first.
Writer Dad’s good friend Blogger Dad sent an email, about three weeks ago. He introduced himself, told his story, and asked for an interview. I said I wanted to stay quiet for a few weeks. He could choose his interview. Partial now, full later
He opted for a full.
I’m going to answer his questions this weekend, and you’ll see them real soon.
Writer Dad
If you enjoyed my words, please subscribe by RSS or email. If you’re a Stumbler, please consider Stumbling.
If you liked this, you’ll probably love, “No, No, No. I Said I Didn’t Want to be a Chooch,” or “The Great Equalizer.”
Related posts:
- Olly Olly Oxen Free “God has given you one face, and you make yourself...
- Are You Questioning Me? “I keep six honest serving-men, They taught me all I knew; Their...
- About Hi. My name is Sean Platt. Around here I’m...
- Setting the Stage “Are we not like two volumes of one book?” ~Marceline...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
I was only here not five minutes earlier, and I guess I might be the first to read this. I’ve only had 3 jobs in my whole life, and I’ve worked at two of them for almost 3 years (my current, and the other one being the job I had in high school).
I always sound nervous in interviews, but I have awesome amounts of potential, so I seem to squeeze my way into the job.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..12 Minutes
Ooooh, well, looking forward to the interviews!
And good on you for not going for job interviews - I’ve refused to play that game (by which I mean that when I did have a few job interviews I was so contemptuous of the process that I didn’t do very well). Where I’ve been successful there was no “interview” involved.
Cheers - Robin
Robins last blog post..Feelings Are There To Be Felt
Funny post! Although, I hope MY interview has more detailed answers than “ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.”
You’ll remind me too much of an ex.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Eight Questions - Interview with Tara Cain
My last interview (which was 14 years ago - gulp) was a bizarro affair. The boss was a bit David Brent (from The Office?) and just wanted everyone to really like him and so it was all ME ME ME ME ME - but from him! I sort of sat there with my mouth open in stunned silence and then when he said ‘you’ve got the job’ my chin hit the floor. Easiest interview ever!
Tara@From Dawn Till Rusks last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Because we live in the countryside
Much easier than the one with Bloggerdad, by the way, which was much more probing and actually made me think!
Tara@From Dawn Till Rusks last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Because we live in the countryside
Very cool, Writer Dad, can’t wait to read them both!
Now how do I get someone to let me talk all about ME ME ME ME for 30 minutes? I should go talk to one of my dogs. Or, oh wait, that’s what my blog is for!
Emilys last blog post..What Is Frugal To You?
“It’s messy, but fun (for me) to watch when all the colors are rolling in different directions.”
You are too mean to Daisy! But I have to admit, I like it too.
Simple things, simple minds Writer Dad, simple things, simple minds
Sals last blog post..5 of My Very Worst Childhood Ideas
Being interviewed sounds frightening. I don’t know what I would say.
I hope you backup your macbook.
@WD
Having been laid off twice within a three year period, I’ve done interviews up the wazoo.
Eventually, you get good at them.
I’ve gotten to the point that I’ve pretty much seen every style of interviewing, and I’ve heard every type of stupid interview question.
I’ve also developped a sense of arrogance/cockiness. Where part of me realizes I’m also doing the interviewing. If I’m going to relocate and spend the next ??? years of my short life working for some kind of Widget Factory, THEM…THEY need to impress ME as much as I need to impres THEM.
That being said, there are always the proverbial “Interviews from Hell” that always pop up and take you by surprise. (When you literally find yourself driving away, with the windows rolled down, screaming profanities to your chosen deity).
I have a few good stories up my sleeve that I’m gonna write about (just haven’t gotten around to them yet).
Friars last blog post..More Travels with the Bear in Northern Ontario
You cheeky devil. I knew I was in for something when I read the title of this post. But you managed to make it subtle and put my mind at ease.
AND you reinforced it with typical YOU writing. Especially the ME ME ME ME ME part.
Just kidding. (That bit was hilarious, by the way!)
So I am totally curious about these interviews! Can’t wait to hear about both.
@ BD: An ex!! AHAHAHA!
@ Tara: I too had an interview like that! I was bored out of my mind. All the dink talked about was himself and his new iMac, which at the time was all the rage and, yes, it was spectacular. I still think so. But still. He seemed like such a jerk.
So when he suddenly said, “Well, you can have the job if you want it,” I was like, “Hmmm, yeeeah. Actually, I’ll get back to you.” Usually, I’m like, YES! I mean, I applied didn’t I? But this guy made me want to change my mind. The thing was, it was my first publishing job in-house.
I took it, but he remained a jerk over the four years I stayed. He talked to me maybe twice, to berate me, and never said a word when I resigned. Finally, on my last day, on the way out, I peeked in his office, where he was playing on his computer, and said, “Uh, I’m going now.” He looked up briefly, and said, “Thanks for all your help.”
I was agape. Thanks for all your help?! As though I’d just carried a bag of groceries in for him instead of slaving at my desk, totally overworked with three positions and a lovely paycut for four miserable years? Bastard!
I smiled, turned, and whispered, Fuck you, too, buddy. I never looked back.
stephs last blog post..Finding Your Voice – And Sticking with It
Oooh, Friar, a few good stories? Hurry up!! I’m always up for your good stories!
stephs last blog post..Finding Your Voice – And Sticking with It
PS. WD: Great. So now my post seems redundant. Hmmm, and maybe you feel it’s condescending, too. Which never occurred to me, of course.
Why do I always find myself apologizing to you?
stephs last blog post..Finding Your Voice – And Sticking with It
Awesome! I’m sure you nailed it, since you know the subject so well (ME ME ME ME etc etc)!
Lances last blog post..What We Learn From Winning
I must say I love the writing style. Very refreshing, unique and original. It’s a good thing you never went to college!!!
http://yinvsyang.com/
Matthew: Congratulations. You were indeed first. Good job working your potential.
Robin: Honestly, I haven’t tried to avoid them. My life’s just never dropped me off at any.
Blogger Dad: It’ll probably be more like, ME ME ME ME YOU ME ME ME YOU ME ME YOU, and so on.
Tara: He’s Michael Scott here in the states, but I am so with you. I’m looking forward to the one with Blogger Dad.
Emily: Maybe we should start a company that does phony interviews for phony magazines. You pay a set price and then an interviewer calls to ask you questions. Could be brilliant.
Sal: Ah, Daisy loves it too. Actually, I’ve never once made her drop a box of crayons.
Ryan: Every day.
Friar: I can’t wait to read your interview stories. I’ll empty my bladder first.
Steph X3: Apologies are never necessary. I’m looking forward to the interviews as well. I’ve had Dave’s for a while, I just have to get to it. This second interview moved it straight to the top of my list though. Which is a good thing.
Lance: I think I might have aced it with a hundred percent.
Peter James: I’m only saying this about myself, but I have a feeling if I went to college, the writing would sound like this: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Hey, Writer Dad -
As someone who is always conducting interviews, I enjoyed reading the perspective of the person on the receiving end. Glad to hear that you like being questioned as much as we like asking the questions.
Looking forward to reading the e-zine and blog post!
Rebecca Smiths last blog post..Don’t “lay” down on the job
It was not all ME, ME, ME, ME, ME! It was an insightful and highly entertaining conversation, and I thank you for your time.
Marys last blog post..Best Remedy for Teething Pain
Congratulations. The interview sounds like lots of fun. I’ve also conducted a lot of interviews but the first time I did the me, me, me from the opposite side of the phone connection, I hung up and thought…I’m an idiot, idiot, idiot…and realized all that stuff I said was going to show up in print somewhere, and I didn’t get to edit it.
Tricias last blog post..Daddy Guilt?
Some of the smartest people never go to college so it’s really not that big a deal. You’ll never be a deadbeat to any of us.
Blogging Millionaires last blog post..3 Killer Steps To Create A Striking Blog Title In 10 Minutes
Interesting to hear about your history. Interesting that you didn’t attend college. I love your answers in the interview…
For my next interview - I will likewise try out this strategy and answer simply, “ME ME ME ME ME”
I’ll be a star.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..The Stain Demon Can and Will Taint Your Life
There’s one way to write about ME and another way to write about me, us you them and all the words in between. I’m glad I went to college and learned how many classics are read for a reason, and how others took gigantic risks and “failed” in their times only to be “discovered” by a later generation. I’m happy to sit in my quiet corner of the blog world and write to my heart’s content, my degree stuffed in a drawer, but a little knowledge, some intuition, and a lot of heart binding the words together.
Kip de Molls last blog post..A Room Full Of Song
Writer Dad,
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!
Well done. That answer alone should get you PLENTY of job offers.
YOU!
Best,
Rita
haha awesome, this made me laugh. I really hope you get the job!
Interviews make me nervous. Never could figure out why. I can stand in front of a room of people and give a speech, or stand on stage and give a soliloquy, but man do interviews kick my ass. I’ve been lucky in my life thus far, but I’ve got some interviews coming up in the next few months that will most likely panic me as usual. I need to come up with some sort of tactic to allay my nerves.
Rebecca: It was, genuinely, a lot of fun. The best part was telling Daisy about it later, reliving it, and deciding I wanted to post about it.
Mary: You are very kind. Thanks for enjoying it. It really was a great deal of fun.
Tricia: Yeah, I definitely said more than my share. I’ll probably have a one to ten ration of words spoken to printed, but hopefully, Mary will pick the pithiest of my words.
Bamboo: You’re already a star, Forest.
Blogging Millionaire: Thanks, Franklin. That’s very kind. I never cared about my lack of college. I’m married to the best teacher I’ve ever met. If she doesn’t care, neither should anyone else.
Kip de Moll: The most important person we write for is us. Everything I’ve read on your site is beautiful, spare, and sincere. I’d love for you to get your songs uploaded.
Rita: It was an interview about the blog, not for a job. But it was a lot of fun.
Glen: It wasn’t for a job, but if I need to apply for one, at least I’ve had some practice.
Ian: I had fun, but my heart was beating fast, and I was pacing the floor like crazy. I think I could probably give a speech easier as well, though I’m sure that’s easier said than done.
@Ian.
As someone who has both conducted interviews, and BEEN interviewed, if I may be so bold as to give you some advice: don’t be afraid to “interview the interviewer.” If you’ve gotten to the POINT of being interviewed, you clearly have the skill sets that are required.
Stand the interview on its head. Do what you can to “level the playing field” between you and the interviewer. I am NOT trying to “steal” Writer Dad’s readers - Lord knows he’s got plenty, with more coming every day. And I know you will always return for his wisdom, as do I. But, I just happened to have blogged on this very subject - I believe yesterday. Given that you and I have already corresponded, I don’t feel too awfully bad, and I hope Writer Dad understands. BUT, if you need some fresh “tactics,” feel free to take a look, from somebody whose been on BOTH sides of the table.
@Friar - I second Writer Dad. Please put up a “PLEASE EMPTY BLADDER BEFORE READING” warning when those posts come up!
Rita
Writer Dad,
The way you responded to me, it’s like the unseen word “just” was before “about the blog.” Kudos no matter what! an interview about our blog is fantastic - and who knows where it can lead?
Also, any interview is an experience. Though I have 100% confidence in you - always have - if for some ridiculous reason you don’t get the desired outcome, always try to find out WHY. Ask the person “Was there anything specific that I said - or didn’t say - that made you arrive at this conclusion?”
Rock on, WD,
Rita
WD,
It’s my “y” again, needing a fix…obviously the word is YOUR blog, not OUR blog.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..My “Novel” Luncheon
Writer Dad, I loved the line about dividing eight letters into four. That was clever.
I haven’t had an interview for at least twelve years, and, like Robin, I often felt contemptuous of the process. Though I tried hard to cover it up, I’m sure it came through. I’ve been freelancing for many years and really love the freedom (though not the sometimes long wait between checks).
Tara, I remember having an interview with an older professor, and I was completely bored. I got the job and then learned why I was so bored–because he didn’t care about anyone besides himself. He was a petty dictator who was used to having everything his own way. So beware the interviewer who makes you feel bored–it’s quite possible that that person doesn’t think you’re worth the effort of expressing interest!
Kip, I loved what you said. I’m definitely checking out your blog.
Beths last blog post..Wen Chocolates (Theme: Chocolatiers in Denver)
“Most conversations at least pretend to exist in dialogue, even when both parties know full well that it’s just two intersecting speeches.
An interview makes no such pretense.”
Ha. So true. I read somewhere that when people talk, they form their answer in their head while the other side is still talking.
As you said: ME ME ME ME ME.
Love this post.
Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..Almost-Wordless Wednesday: Correct Your Nose Without Operation!
I had to resort to interviewing myself on my blog.
I didn’t realize how it might come off until one commenter called it something like borderline egomaniacal (in much gentler terms, though). Good times.
“…two intersecting speeches…” Amen to that. I’m guilty of that one. In brainstorming sessions, this kind of “conversation” can be hugely helpful. Anywhere else, though, and you walk away feeling like a red light in a deserted insection. Did you even really matter in the equation?
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Four Ways to Purge Your Closet
Hi Writer Dad: I’ve been to more interviews than I care to remember. At first they made me nervous but then I got used to it. On the one hand it’s kind of fun to talk about yourself and go on and on about all of your accomplishments, but I don’t like the “audition” feel to it. I’m glad your first interview experience was a positive one!
Marelisas last blog post..30 Tips for Getting Along With Others
Rita: Super advice to both Ian and myself. You’re absolutely right. About everything.
Beth: I smiled when I wrote that, and my favorite compliments are the ones about the lines that make me smile when I write. Thanks.
Vered: It’s so true. Writing has actually made me more aware of my verbal behavior. I’m more conscious of wanting to hear the other side of the conversation, as if I were reading it. Thanks, Vered.
Sara: Ooh, what do you think? Should I do a Writer Dad on Writer Dad interview?
Marelisa: I’m sure I wouldn’t feel all glowy about it if it were a job interview. I think my comparison is a bit unfair.
Hahaha…your post is so funny!! It’s nice to be interviewed. Here is the chance to elevate yourself to Be the person with all the makings of success!! Now how many of our partners or friends are willing to sit through our all-about-me-conversations without telling us to “shut up”?
Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Abundance Mind Movie
Wow, who’d of thought interviews could be so fun. You should have tried it out much earlier. I will be watching for your next on blogger dad.
You crack me up. It’s all about you isn’t it!
:-)))))))
Harmonys last blog post..What if we Lost Our Ability to Choose?
Evelyn: No one. That’s why we should be interviewed as often as possible.
James: Within two weeks. Promise.
Harmony: Only sometimes.
You reminded me that in an interview you can focus on the question, the questioner, or yourself. You can be in the moment, one pitch at a time … or your eyes can be on the scoreboard wondering what you look like from the stands above.
J.D. Meiers last blog post..Social Loafing
Hi Writer Dad,
This is precious. I love that ME, ME., to the hundredth power. If we don’t promote ourselves, who will?
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..You Have The Whole World In Your Hands
Rita: Thank you so much for the advice. I am headed over to your place to read that post right now.
WD: Thank you for bringing all of these great people together on your site.
WD,
Congrats,
I was sitting here thinking, on a Job interview, i have no problem, that’s sales after all. Find out their needs, give it to them..and I ask as many questions as I answer.
I think I am more used to asking questions then answering them. It comes to my mind that I have never been interviewed in the way you just were and I’m not sure what that would be like to be on the hot seat.
I might get very shy.
Writer Dad,
Don’t think the smoke cleared just yet.
I haven’t said anything yet—for some reason I just get busier as I age—it sucks, but I’m working on a post—can’t say about what yet—and you’re absolutely, positively, necessary for the success of this post.
So brace yourself Writer Dad, ’cause an email is going to be sent your way in the coming weeks, and yup . . . it’s for an interview!
And I’m not taking no for an answer!
Luis Grosss last blog post..Should Posts Be Short and To The Point or Long and Detailed?
Keep having interviews. At some point, someone will place the screws on you. Then the fun begins
Dereck Coatneys last blog post..Anticipation