Just Pay Attention

August 20, 2008

If you can speak three languages you’re trilingual.  If you can speak two languages you’re bilingual.  If you can speak only one language you’re an American.

~Author Unknown

Speaking to my children in Spanish, like the morning cup of coffee or hot water beating on my back, is a small pleasure that polishes each one of my days.  

I exaggerate my accent and send my gestures sailing over the top of ridiculous.  My voice swells, especially when my tongue rolls along the outside of a double R, or when I’m delighting in the oral treasure of an Ñ.  

Amid the million must do’s of any given day, it’s brilliant fun to steal a moment and step inside the skin of a character that isn’t quite me.  

Like I’m dressing up for a kind of verbal Halloween.  

I am not fluent.  In fact, I struggle for every well constructed sentence.  This is part of the reason for my inflated accent.  I treat Spanish exactly like singing.

I cannot do it well, so I make sure I do it loud.

I long for the authority of a second tongue.  Spanish is my first new language, but I plan to follow it with something more eclectic… Klingon perhaps.  

I never learned Spanish as a child, despite my Honey and Papí both being born in Mexico, and raising their daughter with fluency.  As an adult, I struggle to absorb new vocabulary into a mind already littered with everything from next week’s list, to every thread from the last four seasons of Lost.  

I want my children to have what I did not.

As some Writer Dad readers already know, Mia attends a Dual Immersion program. 90% of her school day is in Spanish.  

Yes, I love my daughter, and no, this isn’t cruel.  

“Why don’t you just drop her off in Tijuana?”

That’s what one of my best friends said when I first told him (quite excitedly) that we wanted to place Mia in this particular program.  This beautiful philosophy, not everyone understands.

Music and language are highly beneficial to the development of the mathematical mind.  The internet is an awfully big place, filled with towering terabytes of text, but you’d have to comb it all day to find a half pile of research that disagrees with this elemental truth.

But Writer Dad, how will I know when my child is ready for music, or a second language?

Because you will look down and see their ears.

Children are sponges, and we should not ever underestimate them, because they will absorb what we ask.  Delivery is important, of course, which is why we would never throw her into a school in Tijuana.  

That would be immersion, not dual immersion.  

What makes dual immersion successful is the consistent practice of full body response.  This means that the teacher employs language, in addition to gestures, when teaching their class.  

This was wonderfully illustrated one day at the dinner table, sometime toward the end of Mia’s first month of Kindergarten.  

“Is it hard sometimes,” I asked. “Not knowing what Sra. is saying,”  

“Only if I’m not paying attention,” she said, barely looking up.  

Exactly.  

How is this different from life?  How much do we miss, simply because we’re not paying attention?  

Being in the Dual Immersion program has not only taught our daughter the basics of another language, it’s taught her some of the fundamentals of a fulfilling life.  

If you really want to learn, you have to pay attention.  

This summer has been wonderful.  I help Mia with her Spanish, she helps me with mine.  I have more vocabulary than she, but Mia strings what she has together as beautifully as if she were born in Barcelona (Gracias Señora Mochila).  

The two of us exchange words in a room full of toddlers, without anyone wise to what we’re saying.  

It’s like we have our own secret code.  Of course, we’re using our bodies as we speak, so if the toddlers are paying attention, eventually they’ll get it too.

Writer Dad

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If you click here, you can read Writer Dad’s thank you to Señora.

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  • Writer Dad
    Dot: I used to love listening to my grandparents speak in Spanish. They made the words sound so beautiful. Now, when I hear my daughter singing, I always think of my Honey. You're correct, something clicks inside the brain that doesn't click back. Start early, it's too hard when we grow up. Your elementary spanish, I'm sure, is far better than mine.
  • I studied linguistics in grad school, and we learned that unless we learn a language before the age of 7, we can't become a native speaker. There's just something that changes in the brain. I don't know whether an immersion program can create a native speaker, but it can certainly create excellence.

    I had immersion-Spanish from fifth grade on, but only in Spanish class. It certainly helped me, but not to the point of losing my American accent. I was very fluent, though. It was only in grad school that I learned enough about the difference in the production of vowels and consonants to correct my pronunciation. However, that was many years ago, and now I'm back to an elementary-school level in Spanish.

    If anyone is looking to learn an "exotic" language, I'd recommend Arabic (so if there are any Arab terrorists in this country, we'll know it by understanding what they're talking about).
  • Writer Dad
    Sal: Ah, negotiation. Don't let her win. It's like playing the slots. If you pay out, she'll keep playing.

    Lance: It is a shame. The program that Mia is in had three Kindergartens last year. This year it's two. We made it in by the skin of our teeth. If it was this year, we wouldn't have stood a chance.

    Luis: Gibberish is bad, bad, bad. It took a couple years of her simply absorbing the lessons, but now she has a repertoire of songs that can bring tears to my eyes. Thank you.
  • @Sal - I'm glad to hear that. That's exactly what I'm talking about. When I have a child, if I'm lucky enough to leave my DNA behind in this wonderful world, I will never speak gibberish to my baby --- and will scold my spouse if she even thinks of it!

    @Writer Dad - Violin? That's wonderful --- you're a great father!
  • That sounds like an awesome program! Let me tell you a story of money and language. Our elementary school had a Spanish program when my oldest son started Kindergarten. And that's when they started it - in Kindergarten all the way through 5th grade. Then a few years later, something happened. Budget cuts. And all of the sudden, Spanish was only for grades 3-5. And then, it was gone altogether. A great program, taken away because money. I wonder, was it worth it to remove the program? I don't think so, it was a great way to expose young kids to a second language, and now, sadly, it's gone.

    Lances last blog post..Sometimes You Just Have to Take That Leap
  • Sal
    @WD: Oh, the debates are already pouring in. My daughter can already list 5 reasons why she doesn't need to go to bed at her bed time.

    Sals last blog post..10 Business Strategies I Learned from Wal-Mart
  • Writer Dad
    Jamie: El Daddito... that's awesome. Do you mind if I borrow it? Daisy's Mamacita. We can trade.

    Monika: Daisy and I went to bed talking about you last night. We're very impressed. Five languages is so amazing. What is your native tongue?

    Luis: Mia is six, and has been playing the violin (with the Suzuki methodology) since she was three. You're correct. There's no reason to wait.

    Sal: Wait until three. It's a verbal explosion. Paragraphs, critical thinking, and.... wait for it.... debates.

    MizFit: Mizfit, you're awesome! Congratulations. We look forward to hearing about your experiences. Don't worry about your accent and don't listen to anyone who says boo about it.
  • I loved this post as well.

    I oft feel like a moron at Mommy and Me spanish (my accent? cringeworthy) but am committed to my daughter being fluent.

    she, too, is going to an immersion preschool next year.

    MizFits last blog post..food glorious food: engineer style.
  • Sal
    @Luis: I agree. My wife and I never did goo and gaa at our children. We talked to them just like they are adults. It is funny because every time we go to the pediatrition, they tell us that her language use is very advanced for 2. She is already speaking in full, coherant sentences and has a great grasp on how to use words in context.

    Sals last blog post..10 Business Strategies I Learned from Wal-Mart
  • Writer Dad,

    I think it's great what you're doing for your daughter. It's also wonderful that as a parent you know children are like sponges; they really do absorb everything that comes their way.

    People who, "goo-goo, ga-ga" their children till they're 1 wonder why they take so long to develop basic speaking skills.

    I'm new to this blog and don't know how old your daughter is exactly (I know she's a child), but I can see you're doing the right thing.

    Get 'em involved and learning while they're still under 7 or 8; they pick up things so much faster. I think language and music are an excellent way to start things off --- how about piano lessons next?

    Luis Grosss last blog post..The Difference Between You and Darren Rowse
  • Hi Writer Dad,

    I speak 5 languages, what does this make me? They've always held their fascination for me, ever since I was young. Although two of them I speak only basic, enough to get by on a holiday for sure. I would love to learn Spanish though because one day I want to travel South America.

    Giving your kids the present of languages isn't cruel. It is a gift and they will thank you for it one day. My friends took their young boy (then 3) to Australia about 6 years ago. He learned English within 3 months!!!

    He is now 9 and they still have him go to English school. When we chat on skype he actually practices his English with us and it is amazing to see that a 9 year old boy can speak another language so well.

    I wish I had been giving this gift as a young child. It wasn't until later in school that I was made to learn other languages and today I'm glad for it. If somebody tells me my English sucks, I tell them they suck because at least I speak 5 languages while they only speak the one. :-)

    Monika Mundells last blog post..Blog Communications
  • Hi Writer Dad: This is my first time here...nice blog! I too have pressed Spanish language learning on my young. Three years of it, to be exact.

    The real payoff came this summer when we traveled in Spain, and they looked like deer in headlights every time someone spoke to them in Spanish. Sigh.

    My husband subscribes to the silly school of language learning like you. He refers to himself as El Daddito and cracks the kids up with his seriously abysmal Spanish.

    At least they're having fun...

    jamies last blog post..Kid Safe Headphones?
  • Writer Dad
    Vered: Thank you. That's very kind.

    Andy: Make it happen.

    Chris: Wow, you should be proud of that. I'm working so hard for one and a half.
  • The quote cracks me up! I'm so glad that everyone in my house understand a second language and a couple of us are actaully proficient with a third one.

    Isn't strange how the rest of the world is doing their best to learn more than one language and here we are trying to prevent people from speaking another language?

    Chriss last blog post..Divine Intervention
  • Every day I drive by the community college and it begs me (in English) to come in and re-learn the 4 years of Spanish that I took in high school (and completely lost once my adult life commenced). Learning to speak another language is so fulfilling. Someday - most likely after the wedding - I am going to turn into that community college and turn one of my many goals into a reality. Can you say NIGHT CLASSS???!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  • I don't think this is cruel at all. Learning a second language at a young age is a gift. You are loving, thoughtful parents for giving your child this wonderful gift.

    Vereds last blog post..Thank You For Smoking
  • Writer Dad
    Ian: You are quite obviously mathematical. This may have been in you regardless, but the music and language probably stoked the fire. That's especially cool that you got to go to France to practice. That's what I need now, immersion.

    Amy: Isn't it amazing to watch the little one with their parents. Almost always, it seems as though the little ones get it quicker.

    Kyddryn: I bet if you started watching French movies, you'd pick it up really fast. It's still in there somewhere.

    Cath: It's not just our brains; our tongues are able to mimic any sound when we're born, but we lose that ability after our sixth or seventh year. So, never too early, right?

    Annie: I think that's really fascinating about your husband speaking Korean in his sleep. I'd never heard of that before, but it makes perfect sense.

    NAB: Can you imagine what a difference it could make if Americans placed a premium on language and music instruction. I'm guessing huge. By the way, I'm with Sal. Spongeosity is definitely word of the day.

    Marelisa: You're lucky to have had so much exposure to different language and culture. Your children will be better for it.

    Ellen: Thank you. It made Daisy laugh out loud, so I knew it was a keeper.

    Stacy: That's the thing; if you do it right, they don't realize they're learning, and are therefore far more receptive.

    Natural: That's really cool about your niece and nephew. The hard part about learning a language is the practice. We can take all the classes in the world, but without other people to bounce off of, it's difficult to make a lot of forward movement.
  • kudos to you for having your daughter in this program. children do absorb things, it's harder for adults, but to them it's easy.

    my niece is 5 and has been fluent in sign language since 3. no one in our family is deaf. my nephew is 1 and he know more signs than i do.

    they can and do learn in the right environment.

    nice read writer dad. i took french twice and now..well i'm not good at speaking it.

    Naturals last blog post..Is Your Subscriber Count Showing?
  • My son takes Spanish classes in preschool (and also learns Spanish from "Go Deigo Go"). We try to incorporate Spanish words into our daily lives. We earn virtual chocolate chip points every time we use a Spanish word. Great fun!

    Stacey / CreateaBalances last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Dream Bigger
  • That is a good one Writer Dad - "you can look down and see their ears."

    Love it! I do wish we could speak more languages in America. I worked in a greenhouse last year and I was forced to speak in Spanish to my fellow workers. It didn't bother me. I would rather be immersed in a language to learn it. But it was frustrating because of my ineptitude.

    Ellen Wilsons last blog post..The Forward Momentum of Bloggery
  • @Writer Dad: " I cannot do it well, so I make sure I do it loud." LOL! I learned English when my family moved to Stamford, Connecticut when I was 7 years old. It was still early enough for me to learn to speak it like a native. The interesting thing is that between college and law school I spent a year in Italy and now when I speak English I have a slight accent, which I never had before. So I guess now I'm basically mute in three languages :-)

    Marelisas last blog post..Lessons to Teach Your Children (Part 1)
  • Sal
    @New Age: Wow, spongeosity. That is my new word of the day. I will have to try and use that in a sentence.

    Sals last blog post..14 + 1 Facts you may not know about Wal-Mart
  • I figure if I start learning Japanese now, and pick up enough Vietnamese to effectively communicate with my boyfriend's parents, then by the time I have kids, they will be able to have at least three languages under their belt. More if I can convince my boyfriend to learn French (without spitting all over the place.) :P

    Allison Days last blog post..Koo-Ki Sushi
  • Waldorf schools begin language instruction (usually in 2 different languages) in the 1st grade. Meanwhile most American public schools don't start offering language instruction until 7th grade, far past the window of spongeosity.
  • Writer Dad -

    That's very cool about Mia's school program. Learning additional languages early is beneficial for kids.

    We tried to teach the kids some Tagalog but now that we don't have any contact with that side of their family, they don't remember much. But my oldest daughter has a whole list of languages she wants to learn and she has learned some Japanese in the past few years. She'll be taking Latin in high school this year.

    My husband was born in Korea and adopted by a family in Minnesota when he was 3. He spoke Korean when he was little but quickly learned English and now doesn't speak Korean at all, although once in a while, he'll say something in his sleep. ;-)

    Kinda makes me wish we'd insisted they really learn a language when they were younger and not been so casual about it.

    ~ Annie
  • Hi Writer Dad - That sounds like a smart thing to do. My friends daughter has Spanish and English parents and she's spoken both languages all her life. Apparently the earlier they learn another language the easier it is to pick it up.

    Right now, our whole family is trying to learn Spanish, using the BBC Muzzy DVD's. The eldest has moaned a bit - he doesn't see why he should learn Spanish when folk in Spain understand English.

    I think we English are just as bad as Americans when it comes to using other languages.

    Cath Lawsons last blog post..Relationships: Are You Kissing Goodbye To Success?
  • The Evil Genius and I are learning Spanish and Signed English, because we can. When I was a child, I spoke fluent French, but forgot most of it when no spoke with me.

    Good onya for helping her develop her mind now - when she excels in music, mathematics, and science, she'll have you to thank for it.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

    Kyddryns last blog post..Oh, Help
  • Amy
    WD -- I think it's great that your daughter is getting that experience. I teach a sign language class for toddlers at the park district a few times a year. Babies and little kids pick these things up faster than adults do, so I think it's a good idea to teach it young. Mia's program sounds great!

    Amys last blog post..Freelance Writing Success: Your Way or Mine?
  • I learned French in high school, but those were the days when that was the earliest languages were taught in our school district. Thankfully, we got with the times and now begin teaching languages in elementary school.

    I count myself lucky because I had the opportunity to travel to France twice, in 1993 and 1995. Both times, I made sure that I spoke only French whenever possible. One thing I quickly learned is how much I had to pay attention to native speakers. By the end of each trip, I was far more comfortable communicating and had to concentrate less.

    I did notice that body language played a much bigger role in interactions which were particularly difficult. A couple of times, I even went so far as to explain that I was not a native speaker (obvious) and the conversations slowed and proceeded to swap between English and French. It was a great lesson in language and international communication.

    Regarding music, I played the saxophone starting at the age of 5, and I always excelled in language and mathematics. Funny how that works. Good post, WD.

    Ian

    Ian Parkers last blog post..Spam Works? Oh no!
  • Writer Dad
    Bamboo: Just yesterday Mia asked me about her lopsided lobster. I didn't know what to say. Now I do, thank you.

    Ula: A second language gives perspective, and isn't that something we could use more of.

    Glenn: The quote is funny because it is SO true.

    Jo: They'll take whatever we give them. By the way, I enjoyed your post this morning. Very tender.

    Sally: Australia? I would love to visit Australia. It is on my short list. Good job. Going for three languages is even better.

    Jeremy: Only a fish, but she seems to love my Spanish.

    Alex: Five year olds, cool. You'll have a lot of fun. That's a really fun age to teach. Daisy taught Kindergarten in Taipei. The Kindergartens there have two-hundred students. Can you believe it?

    Robin: A change in our focus can make all the difference in first our perception, and then our comprehension.

    Sal: Four languages? Are you trying to make me look bad? And yes, there is a huge difference between seeing and noticing.

    Mike: What makes Spanish in High School hard, is that by that time we're less receptive to the lessons and we don't get near enough practice. Forty-five minutes, five days a week, isn't enough. Not if we don't get the opportunity to apply it in the real world.

    Friar: Yes, I'm glad that there's a universal language. There needs to be, or we couldn't stay as connected. And you're right, it's only a matter of time before we're all speaking some kind of Mandarin/English hybrid. Daisy spent a year in Asia and picked up enough Mandarin to get by. She keeps it sharp because she thinks we might actually need it some day.

    Ryan: That's a really good point. Learning one language well, gives you the confidence and authority to tackle another.
  • I agree wholeheartedly with this sort of learning. Having learned a second language--although later in life--I'm still reaping the benefits, including a more sound understanding of my own language, as well as a confidence that I could learn another language.

    Ryans last blog post..Victory is Mine
  • Heh! It's quite a contrast...when you mentionned learning a 2nd language. Me, being Canadian, I assumed you meant FRENCH.

    Keep forgetting, that in the States, it's Spanish.

    As for English, it's not just "American". It's also the language of science.

    In the scientific community, English is the accepted standard language (back in the 30's, it used to be German). Most scientific journals are English, and so are most international conferences. (Whether they're held in Japan or Norway, for example, the presentations and conference proceedings will be in English).

    Kinda makes sense, having a common ground. (Imagine doing a literature search for a research project, in 80 different languages).

    I'm just lucky that right now, that language happens to be English (Give it time, though, it might become Mandarin!)

    Friars last blog post..Friar’s Random Olympic Thoughts
  • It would have been great if our kids would have had that opportunity, but there was nothing like it here..., I don't think there is even now. One of the negatives of living in rural and small-town mid-America. They both had Spanish in high school. I don't think our youngest retained any of it. Our oldest did, though and uses it on occasion at work to communicate with customers.

    I've tried learning Spanish several times over the years, but regretably, very little of it stuck.

    Mike Goads last blog post..What does “Gay New York” mean to you?
  • Sal
    @Emily: Have you ever just stopped and paid attention to your surroundings? It is amazing what you can learn by just paying some attention, even if it is to things you "notice" every day. There is a big difference between seeing and noticing.

    Sals last blog post..14 + 1 Facts you may not know about Wal-Mart
  • I love that. So simple. If you want to learn, pay attention.

    I think the program you have Mia in sounds fabulous. It's so important for our little sponges to learn this stuff while they are young.
  • Sal
    You are completely correct. Children are like sponges. Bella already knows some Spanish, so we are working with her on that. She will also learn Italian and be introduced to French when she starts school. I never could master French, it just seems to harsh for me, but I guess since she will be learning it, I have to get used to it again.

    She is also very good with music, just like her dad. She has picked up keyboard like it was a second way of expressing herself. She will bring her little keyboard over to me and perform for me. Then I make a big deal of how well she did and she gets this huge smile on her face. I love that little smile!

    Sals last blog post..14 + 1 Facts you may not know about Wal-Mart
  • That's great, W.D.

    Paying attention does make so much difference in life - sometimes when I want to do something quickly I do it without focusing on it properly and it takes longer. Then when I stop and give it full attention, I actually do it quicker.

    Robins last blog post..Reincarnation… A Scenario
  • Thanks for this. I'm starting to teach a group of 5 year olds English in two weeks. They will all be native Basque speakers and so Spanish will be our common language (which after a year I still don't speak super well and understand less).

    Reminding me to use body language to communicate will definitely help me.

    Alex Fayles last blog post..Patience is a Virtue… and a Curse
  • Hey Writer Dad,

    Do you have a pet? They're great at listening to botched language attempts.

    I speak Chinese to my cat, and our future kid is liable to end up having to learn Mandarin, Cantonese, Hakka (another Chinese dialect), and English.

    But it's going to be really strange when I end up talking to the kid in public in Mandarin.

    Jeremys last blog post..The Cat’s Guide To Bottom Fishing
  • "If you can speak only one language you’re an American...."

    Unfortunately I think this also applies to Australians. Hopefully my sons will have more options to learn a second (or third) language by the time they go to school.

    Keep up the good work!

    Sallys last blog post..How to approach a content migration - part two
  • Ahhh that sounds wonderful. Misses E and M have picked up a little Spanish just fro watching Dora, a little Polish form new friends at school and a little Makaton as I did baby sign with Miss M. They are definitely spongey. Miss E has now begun to learn French at school and seems very comfortable with it.

    I think what you're doing is wonderful. I just have English and basic French. I went as far as GCSE then decided I'd had enough, but I will encourage my girls to explore languages further.

    Jo Beaufoixs last blog post..Mug shots
  • haha I love that first quote, I just shared it around the office (everyone here speaks english and afrikaans).

    I'm trying to learn french at the moment and then move onto something more challenging like Thai or Japanese. Great post!

    Glen Allsopps last blog post..Unlimited Happiness: How to Control your Emotions
  • Writer Dad,
    a wonderful story! I think children pick up foreign languages much more easily then we adults do. And being able to speak in more than your own language is something very precious. Keep on doing it!

    Ulla Hennigs last blog post..Seagulls fighting
  • My brother Flying LlamaFish was gracious enough to give a Spanish lesson to the masses, not too long ago:

    http://punintended.com/blog/todays-great-lesson...

    Writer Dad. You're well on your way!

    Bamboo Forests last blog post..How to Live a Life of Freedom
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