An Act of Kindness
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions”
~ Anonymous
Yesterday, I wrote a post, Sink or Swim, where I discussed discarding the safe in search of something better. I made my leap, and have since found myself in the middle of the sea. I first started splashing six months back, determined to ford the flood. Though I see a gilded horizon as inevitable, it is certainly not without its obstacles.
Being a dad can be difficult without the added weight of forging forward into the unknown. To say I’m never scared, or never have to swallow doubt would be as ridiculous as saying I’ve an allergy to air.
An act of kindness can shift the wind around you. An act of kindness can be free to give and is sometimes all the giving someone needs.
Were I swimming in a vacuum, I might have abandoned this dream long ago. I am not. Rather, I am fortunate to swim beside the constant support of others, alongside a community carrying a relentless belief that I will one day succeed. That has been enough to thicken the resolve I need to see the other shore.
Yesterday, there were two people who reached out above and beyond, with a simple act of kindness. I would like to acknowledge them here. The first was Lori, the Space Age Sage. In the comments she asked, “If any of us can toss you a life preserver right now, what kind would you need?”
We swapped emails and, as always, I found Lori meant exactly what she said. An empty commenter Lori is not. Thank you, Lori, for your constant and considerate, care.
The second person to light my day was Randi, from Foreign Quang. She wrote a comment long enough for a post, so I asked her if I could use her words to get out of writing today.
Here is the majority of her comment, clipped a bit for brevity.
Writer Dad,
I’ve got thoughts flying out in different directions because of your post, so I hope I can corral them long enough to make sense.
First off, let me start with a complaint about some women (I, being one, claim the right to rag on some of my sistahs). When I began my blog, I thought the best thing to do was to hang out at other women’s blogs, just to get a feel for what was popular in blog land. What I saw, in large part, left me disgusted and afraid. Time after time, I would come across a blog where the blogger thought it was cool to bash her husband or boyfriend, using the most vile terms imaginable. She would talk about what an idiot he was, about the latest stupid thing he did, or about what she would like to do to various body parts while he was sleeping. She would use language I used to associate only with men’s locker rooms, and I thought I had heard it all (having worked with men for many years). These blogs had lots of subscribers.
I seriously considered abandoning blogging, if that’s what it took to have a successful blog.
Then, one day, while hanging out at Zen Habits, I came across a post you had written on breaking bad habits. I followed the link to your site, and after reading a couple of posts, said to myself, “Yes! This is what blogging should be about!” The more I read, the more I became aware of the undying support you have from your wife, Daisy. In her, my faith in modern womanhood was redeemed. Here is a woman who would surely die before affixing any swear words to your name. I feel safe when reading her comments on your site, or in reading the posts on hers, that I won’t have to be subjected to a woman’s rantings about her husband. Instead, I feel a sweetness of spirit, a faith in true love, a hope for married couples everywhere. Remembering back to a post I read of yours, where Daisy encouraged you to risk it all and just WRITE, I now ask you to honor her faith by keepin’ on with the swimmin’ even when you feel as if your arms are numb with the struggle, or your lungs will burst with the next breath.
Your writing is good, and more good things will come from what you’ve built. It’s called synergy.
Ok, next thought. Having managed a few businesses, I know it does take at least a year (in most cases) to see monetary success in a business. You may not be there yet. It seems though, that everywhere I turn there is blog with Writer Dad listed as a favorite blog. Success is not always about the money. I would rather have a blog that made peanuts than have a blog that was financially secure but resorted to ravings.
Third, and maybe final, thought.
Sinking or swimming can be scary. Until May 2007, I was the manager of a very successful business. I made more money than my husband and worked between 60-70 hours a week. I saw my then eight year old son far too infrequently. He was suffering in school and was exceedingly insecure. My husband and I made the decision that I would quit work. In the fall, I would become a teacher at my son’s homeschool co-op. As in NO PAY. We were frightened because we KNEW we could not make it on only one income. Yet, there is a quality of life that happens when you are forced to do without, that is very character defining.
We no longer have cable TV service. We eat out maybe once every six months. Friday I bought new clothes for the first time in three years. But I would not trade my son’s newfound security to have my old salary back. It’s not worth it. Yes, you may struggle while you write, wondering if there will ever be a payoff. I believe there will be. You have the talent. You have the support. And last but not least, you have the FANS!
Yay for Writer Dad!
Thanks ladies. Your acts of kindness are much appreciated.
About Sean Platt
Those were both great comments that I remember having read yesterday when they came in.
Note: I see that you have this post tagged as “acts of kindess.”
What is “kindess?”
(I think it’s a typo, but I could be wrong…, and I did proof this before I hit submit…)
Mike Goad’s last blog post..Wednesday Weigh-In and another new look
Those were both great comments that I remember having read yesterday when they came in.
Note: I see that you have this post tagged as “acts of kindess.”
What is “kindess?”
(I think it’s a typo, but I could be wrong…, and I did proof this before I hit submit…)
Mike Goad’s last blog post..Wednesday Weigh-In and another new look
Wow, fantastic! Thank you so much for sharing the comments. I’ve unfortunately gotten to where I read posts from my reader and not comments simply because there are so many that I follow and I try not to spend my entire day on the computer.
You posting this has reminded me that I should stop and linger sometimes, especially when I know the blogger has such great comments, like yours. Thanks again for the reminder.
Randi, your family sets a great example for living for what’s truly important in life and not what society deems so. Good for you!
Kool Aid’s last blog post..Monkey’s photos
Wow, fantastic! Thank you so much for sharing the comments. I’ve unfortunately gotten to where I read posts from my reader and not comments simply because there are so many that I follow and I try not to spend my entire day on the computer.
You posting this has reminded me that I should stop and linger sometimes, especially when I know the blogger has such great comments, like yours. Thanks again for the reminder.
Randi, your family sets a great example for living for what’s truly important in life and not what society deems so. Good for you!
Kool Aid’s last blog post..Monkey’s photos
“An act of kindness can be free to give and is sometimes all the giving someone needs.”
A friend of mine told me the other day that I would be getting my break soon but it would be from an unexpected source. A few days ago I received your email.
Your posts (and your journey) has inspired me anew and I would swim across the proverbial pond that separates our two continents if I knew it would help. Wheelchair and all :)
“An act of kindness can be free to give and is sometimes all the giving someone needs.”
A friend of mine told me the other day that I would be getting my break soon but it would be from an unexpected source. A few days ago I received your email.
Your posts (and your journey) has inspired me anew and I would swim across the proverbial pond that separates our two continents if I knew it would help. Wheelchair and all :)
@ Writer Dad — Aw shucks, Sean, I’m glad to help lift spirits and encourage in anyway I can. If you weren’t already using the sink or swim metaphor, I’d say go with this saying: “If you’re skating on thin ice, you might as well dance.” Also, promise to remember us little people when your books and blog make the Big Time!
@ Randi — Loved your story and words. I’m so glad you found Writer Dad after reading all those other blogs. Yes, kind, loving, fun-loving, deep-thinking, and civil bloggers do exist, and so do those of us who love and honor their spouses with mutual, energizing respect.
@ Writer Dad — Aw shucks, Sean, I’m glad to help lift spirits and encourage in anyway I can. If you weren’t already using the sink or swim metaphor, I’d say go with this saying: “If you’re skating on thin ice, you might as well dance.” Also, promise to remember us little people when your books and blog make the Big Time!
@ Randi — Loved your story and words. I’m so glad you found Writer Dad after reading all those other blogs. Yes, kind, loving, fun-loving, deep-thinking, and civil bloggers do exist, and so do those of us who love and honor their spouses with mutual, energizing respect.
Wonderful comments. Posts within posts. :)
GreenJello’s last blog post..Texting Conversation
Wonderful comments. Posts within posts. :)
GreenJello’s last blog post..Texting Conversation
I agree that building a business, online or offline, takes time.
As for snarky female bloggers, I can think of one who does it. She’s hugely successful, in large part because of the language she uses. I think she’s hilarious and it’s obvious she loves her husband very much. But I get what you say, Randi. I could never write like she does and I wouldn’t want to. I’m just saying that a lot of what you see in blogs doesn’t necessarily reflect the relationships behind the scenes and yes – unfortunately a major way to become a successful personal blogger is to use profanity and have a very lax definition of privacy.
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Sleepless
I agree that building a business, online or offline, takes time.
As for snarky female bloggers, I can think of one who does it. She’s hugely successful, in large part because of the language she uses. I think she’s hilarious and it’s obvious she loves her husband very much. But I get what you say, Randi. I could never write like she does and I wouldn’t want to. I’m just saying that a lot of what you see in blogs doesn’t necessarily reflect the relationships behind the scenes and yes – unfortunately a major way to become a successful personal blogger is to use profanity and have a very lax definition of privacy.
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Sleepless
I just wanted to say that I was touched by what your commenters had to say and that I think it is brave of you to try to “sink or swim.”
Tabitha (From Single to Married)’s last blog post..Trying to Conceive – First Month
I just wanted to say that I was touched by what your commenters had to say and that I think it is brave of you to try to “sink or swim.”
Tabitha (From Single to Married)’s last blog post..Trying to Conceive – First Month
Randi has the wisdom! I quit a big business for a small business to spend more time with my family. Best decision I ever made. People focus way to much on money/cars/gadgets/travel. Relationships are just so much more rewarding!
Randi has the wisdom! I quit a big business for a small business to spend more time with my family. Best decision I ever made. People focus way to much on money/cars/gadgets/travel. Relationships are just so much more rewarding!
Kool-Aid–Thanks for the kind words. I’m very lucky to have a husband who doesn’t much care for what society says we “have to” do. He’s a very “rage against the man” kinda guy.
Lori–I was relieved to find Writer Dad too. He and his wife are high class people.
After reading about your comments to WD, I checked out your website too. Very nice! (I added you to my reader. ) I renewed my vow to make a “bucket list” after reading about all the fun things you’ve done. Time to get myself moving! Thanks for the inspiration.
Vered–You bring up a very good point. Some of those more successful bloggers have almost reached celebrity status so I suppose with that celebrity comes a certain amount of “living for the public eye.” Bloggers may say or write something more for dramatic effect or entertainment than for education or inspiration. And who knows? Maybe some of those husbands are sitting in a chair next to their wives’ keyboards saying, “Say what you want about me, as long as we’re gettin’ paid.”
I checked out your site and was touched by your “Sleepless” post. I have the best of both worlds right now—a ten year old son that I watch while he’s sleeping, and two daughters in their twenties who are living on their own. You will discover that when you watch your children leave, and really, really, let them go, they always want to come back. My two daughters call me all the time with funny stories, concerns, or just to hear “mommy’s” voice. I have learned that if you try to follow them (figuratively) when they leave, they just keep driving. If you wave from the front steps as they back down the driveway, they keep coming back and coming back. Plus, as someone on your site suggested, with all the electronic advances we have now, it’s so easy to keep those loving relationships going.
Writer Dad–Here I go again, taking over your comments section. I promise I’ll be good from now on!
Randi’s last blog post..Little Men
Kool-Aid–Thanks for the kind words. I’m very lucky to have a husband who doesn’t much care for what society says we “have to” do. He’s a very “rage against the man” kinda guy.
Lori–I was relieved to find Writer Dad too. He and his wife are high class people.
After reading about your comments to WD, I checked out your website too. Very nice! (I added you to my reader. ) I renewed my vow to make a “bucket list” after reading about all the fun things you’ve done. Time to get myself moving! Thanks for the inspiration.
Vered–You bring up a very good point. Some of those more successful bloggers have almost reached celebrity status so I suppose with that celebrity comes a certain amount of “living for the public eye.” Bloggers may say or write something more for dramatic effect or entertainment than for education or inspiration. And who knows? Maybe some of those husbands are sitting in a chair next to their wives’ keyboards saying, “Say what you want about me, as long as we’re gettin’ paid.”
I checked out your site and was touched by your “Sleepless” post. I have the best of both worlds right now—a ten year old son that I watch while he’s sleeping, and two daughters in their twenties who are living on their own. You will discover that when you watch your children leave, and really, really, let them go, they always want to come back. My two daughters call me all the time with funny stories, concerns, or just to hear “mommy’s” voice. I have learned that if you try to follow them (figuratively) when they leave, they just keep driving. If you wave from the front steps as they back down the driveway, they keep coming back and coming back. Plus, as someone on your site suggested, with all the electronic advances we have now, it’s so easy to keep those loving relationships going.
Writer Dad–Here I go again, taking over your comments section. I promise I’ll be good from now on!
Randi’s last blog post..Little Men
OK, one more…see how quickly I broke my promise?
Robert—I’ll bet your family is so grateful to have you around more. I have so many good friends, mothers, who chose to work full time, saying they “need to” to make ends meet. But in my mind I’m thinking, “Give up the bling bling, the Apple TV, the four-wheelers, and the video games and you won’t need to work.” (Not saying that’s the case for every working mom, because I remember many lean years as I had to work to survive.)
Randi’s last blog post..Little Men
OK, one more…see how quickly I broke my promise?
Robert—I’ll bet your family is so grateful to have you around more. I have so many good friends, mothers, who chose to work full time, saying they “need to” to make ends meet. But in my mind I’m thinking, “Give up the bling bling, the Apple TV, the four-wheelers, and the video games and you won’t need to work.” (Not saying that’s the case for every working mom, because I remember many lean years as I had to work to survive.)
Randi’s last blog post..Little Men
Mike: Oops… Good catch, thanks! I do not believe that kidness is a word.
Kool Aid: My pleasure. I know what you mean K to the A. I read 90% of my stuff in a reader as well.
Marc: My pleasure, Marc. I appreciate your constant support. I have some reading to do tomorrow, then I’ll be getting right back to you.
Lori: “If you’re skating on thin ice, you might as well dance.” That made me laugh. “Also, promise to remember us little people when your books and blog make the Big Time!” That made me blush. All I can say is, I’m as loyal as a puppy.
GreenJello: It made my job delightfully easy this morning. Thanks, Randi!
Vered: That’s so true about the lax version of privacy. I can’t imagine airing laundry in public. I may talk about my family, but it’s always in broad strokes; never with a bulls-eye.
Tabitha: Thanks, Tabitha! Nice to see you.
Robert: I agree. Randi does have the wisdom. No one remembers their gadgets on their death bed.
Randi: They’re yours whenever you want them.
Mike: Oops… Good catch, thanks! I do not believe that kidness is a word.
Kool Aid: My pleasure. I know what you mean K to the A. I read 90% of my stuff in a reader as well.
Marc: My pleasure, Marc. I appreciate your constant support. I have some reading to do tomorrow, then I’ll be getting right back to you.
Lori: “If you’re skating on thin ice, you might as well dance.” That made me laugh. “Also, promise to remember us little people when your books and blog make the Big Time!” That made me blush. All I can say is, I’m as loyal as a puppy.
GreenJello: It made my job delightfully easy this morning. Thanks, Randi!
Vered: That’s so true about the lax version of privacy. I can’t imagine airing laundry in public. I may talk about my family, but it’s always in broad strokes; never with a bulls-eye.
Tabitha: Thanks, Tabitha! Nice to see you.
Robert: I agree. Randi does have the wisdom. No one remembers their gadgets on their death bed.
Randi: They’re yours whenever you want them.
Hey Sean! Persistence my friend! You have the talent, your day is coming!
I don’t really like the “bar scene” blogs. It seems like some blogs act a singles bar for people to hook in new readers and lure them to their own blog. In doing so, their comments are not authentic. They’re very PC. How real is it if you pretend to be someone you’re not to get readers to listen to your thoughts on your own blog? My brain twisted a bit on that one. You are genuine and that is a treat!
Hey Sean! Persistence my friend! You have the talent, your day is coming!
I don’t really like the “bar scene” blogs. It seems like some blogs act a singles bar for people to hook in new readers and lure them to their own blog. In doing so, their comments are not authentic. They’re very PC. How real is it if you pretend to be someone you’re not to get readers to listen to your thoughts on your own blog? My brain twisted a bit on that one. You are genuine and that is a treat!
This is just another great example of what this blogging community has to offer. There are plenty of hallow remarks made, just like the small talk we all deal with in the ‘real world’, but there are also plenty who backup their words with sound character. Thanks for sharing these examples, Sean. Eric
Eric Hamm’s last blog post..Is Being Yourself Making You Broke? | Community Insight
This is just another great example of what this blogging community has to offer. There are plenty of hallow remarks made, just like the small talk we all deal with in the ‘real world’, but there are also plenty who backup their words with sound character. Thanks for sharing these examples, Sean. Eric
Eric Hamm’s last blog post..Is Being Yourself Making You Broke? | Community Insight
Writer Dad,
thanks for including her comment. I’m trying out various ideas to turn the Internet into an income, and it’s good to read the advice of someone who’s dealt with the doubt and has the business experience to put it into perspective.
And it’s also good to pass on acts of kindness.
Beth Partin’s last blog post..MonHaibun: Loveliness I Could Call Forth
Writer Dad,
thanks for including her comment. I’m trying out various ideas to turn the Internet into an income, and it’s good to read the advice of someone who’s dealt with the doubt and has the business experience to put it into perspective.
And it’s also good to pass on acts of kindness.
Beth Partin’s last blog post..MonHaibun: Loveliness I Could Call Forth
Подробнее сериал связь 677772872