The holidays are here.
Time for family and friends to gather under the umbrella of good cheer and genuine connection.
Keeping things simple and sweet is the secret to living a balanced life every day. Our last few Christmases have been hard, juggling life, family and finances. But those years have helped us grow.
Here are 10 ways a buckled economy can help keep things in check over the holidays.
1. Learn to say NO. Saying yes, when you should say no, leaves you resentful and overwhelmed. When people are really your friends, and your family really loves you, they understand when you can’t participate in a project or activity. When funds were tight, staying in became our new “going out,” and to this day an evening under our roof is our preference.
2. You don’t need a gym membership to stay in shape. Living in California made it easy to walk everywhere since the weather was usually perfect and there were always plenty of activities in walking distance. Walking is one my favorite family activities because everyone benefits from the fresh air, conversation, or silence. There have been many times this practice has helped Haley and Ethan find their inner calm. A brisk walk clears my mind, and the absence of distractions evens the playing field. I love the rain and snow in Cincinnati, and feel invigorated by the brisk air. Plus, I have a favorite raincoat and boots to splash in the puddles!
3. Healthy eating doesn’t have to cost a lot. When scarcity was knocking at our door, our food choices were at their healthiest. We worked harder with less. It killed me watching people with EBT cards and carts heaping with the trashiest, most processed junk imaginable. EBT cardholders had totals over $200.00. Mine were under $60 for fruits, vegetables and grains. Our children never knew how hard it was, because Sean and I made our shopping into a math game. We have this many dollars, what can we do? We found plenty of delicious recipes and one pot meals, and had fun cooking everything from scratch.
4. Stick to a budget. Before going shopping for food or gifts, we always decide on a budget. Sean is excellent about helping the family stay disciplined within the borders of a pre-determined budget. You cannot buy happiness, even with an avalanche of gifts. I’ve been guilty of trying in the past, but time has taught me well. Now that we have children, I feel our family must work together to donate time, supplies and food to benefit others. These memories will always last far longer than the battery operated toys beneath the tree.
5. Be generous to others who have less. This year Haley and Ethan decided they didn’t want to spend money on gifts, but rather, they wanted to use their allowance to buy necessities for Operation Christmas Child, St. Joseph’s Orphanage, and the YWCA Battered Women’s Shelter. Bringing holiday to cheer to others feels so great and the glow on their faces and the recipients is priceless.
6. Be realistic. As our family grows and changes, so do our rituals and traditions. The holidays are not about perfection. Let the children decorate the tree in their special way with homemade decorations. And be okay with a mess after making cookies and gingerbread houses. Being fiscally responsible forced us to initiate and maintain a simple lifestyle with activities filled our hearts and spirits with love and compassion. That is what we will remember 20 years from now when we’re sitting around the table at the holidays saying, “Remember when…”
7. Plan ahead. Part of the reason everyone gets so crazy this time of the year is because a lack of planning creates unnecessary crisis. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and make your shopping lists ahead of time to prevent last minute scrambling for forgotten items.
8. It’s all in the presentation. You don’t need fancy appetizers or filet mignon to impress. Present simple foods with flair, made with love. Kick it up a couple of notches by adding real plates, flatware that doesn’t match, and colorful mismatched cloth napkins instead of the ironically expensive and tacky paper/plastic products that can cheapen even the classiest food. If you are like me, doing dishes is actually a pleasure since it builds in down time when the holiday cheer becomes overwhelming.
9. Turn the ordinary into extraordinary. Don’t depend on being a fancy pants to create the holiday glow. Great people, simple food, and time to talk and laugh are the essential ingredients to a memorable holiday. Add twinkling lights, silly games, and genuine good cheer, and you set an awesome precedent for you and your family that will be remembered for years to come.
10. Decorate with natural ingredients. Don’t buy expensive holiday decorations. There are plenty of natural materials like evergreen shrubs, pine cones, holly, and real fruit (apples, oranges, pears) to spray paint gold for center pieces. Strings of cranberry and popcorn garland, plus plenty of candles, cloves, cinnamon and cider simmering on the stove can turn your home into holiday aromatherapy.
Don’t let a sagging economy drain the fun from your holidays. The core of capturing the festivities, fun and family comes from devoting care and thought to taking what you have and making it shine.
Keep it simple and everyone will be smiling, not stressing.
Cindy, in your general spirit of generosity toward the less fortunate, you might add this habit: trying not to pay so very much attention to what people are buying with their EBT cards. Chances are they feel humiliated to have to resort to buying their food this way to begin with, and are selfconscious about others staring at them and passing silent judgment on their purchases. If you have in the past seen shoppers with EBT cards spending more than they need to or buying what you consider “trashy” food, keep in mind that if it were not legal to purchase, they would not be able to do so; also, that not everyone who uses EBT cards has had the benefit of having learned as much about nutrition and economic shopping as you have. Finally, keep in mind that everyone, no matter how how financially unfortunate at a given moment, needs a treat or a guilty pleasure once in a while.
With those things in mind, you can eliminate yet another stress from your own life: allowing it to “kill” you that EBT shoppers aren’t as frugal and wise as you are. Focus on the contents of your own conveyor belt and shopping cart, not those of someone else, and you’ll be much happier.
Enjoy your season!
Tru, I understand what you are saying, but it doesn’t fit this scenario.
This is where we did our shopping: http://superiorgrocers.com/
The people Cindy is referring to weren’t humiliated in the least, and weren’t self conscious in the least. If anything, they were loud, often bragging about what they were able to buy, sharing EBT cards with friends, and playing on iPhones – as was the custom for many of the people in our neighborhood.
Superior was set up in a way that made it easy to shop healthy. A ton of local produce (in Southern California) that made it far more expensive to eat poorly, as the countless signs throughout the store clearly pointed out. Avocados 10 for a dollar, oranges 10 pounds for a dollar, bananas four pounds for a dollar, etc.
We are talking about shopping cards filled with nothing fresh, everything packaged, and consumers who clearly didn’t care. This wasn’t a single indulgence, not even close.
Perhaps after more than 20 years of teaching, most spent in schools below the poverty line, where Cindy spent her time bringing food and clothes to families in need and helping them any way she could, it’s become difficult to ignore things like people who are being given a chance and not doing anything about it.
Perhaps it is, and from how the situation is described here, it may be more difficult to ignore. But the fact remains: Nobody passes judgment on what you buy at the supermarket. You owe the same right of dignity and privacy to others–even when they’re not asking you for it, even when they seem not to care or even to be proud to let the world know. And no, it doesn’t matter whose dollars are going toward the purchase. You can tut-tut and sigh internally all you want, but airing your frustrations about what people buy on EBT on a blog, when the only purpose is to use these folks as a bad example for people not on EBT to avoid, is inappropriate, I think.
Oh, and if they seem as if they’re bragging? Well, who knows why? Maybe some people take the opportunity to brag when they can get it. You also can’t tell just from watching them stand in line at a supermarket whether they are “doing anything about” their poverty.
Oh, and one more thing that’s none of your business: whether or not they have iPhones. Again, very judgmental and reminiscent of Ronald Reagan’s mythical “welfare queen” story.
Tru, we don’t have to agree. I’m totally cool with that. But I was intimately familiar with the people I’m talking about, and am not speaking out of turn. I’m not casting judgement on a wide class of people, I am specifically noting what I saw with my own eyes on a daily basis. We were a fixture in the neighborhood and did a lot for it in the time we were there. And it’s true, there were many people we knew personally who didn’t work, were entirely government funded, and yet had new electronics, big screen TV’s and Nikes.
I’m a writer, and I write about the world around me. That is, quite literally, my business.
Thank you everyone for the comments. Sean you know me best and intentions of my post.
Cindy,
This is a post everyone should read. As we are currently in one of those “lean” times in our life your guideline is not only helpful but encouraging. I have to admit that most of the things here are things I can remember my Mom doing when she was a single woman with four children. She passed away at such a young age (42) and we were still so young (I was 12) that those memories of the Christmases she managed to make so magical are still our strongest and and most cherished. Thank you for reminding me.
Wishing you the most wonderful Holiday Season as you continue building cherished memories for your family,
M
Michelle thank you for sharing your experiences. We all try to make our holiday magic with the available resources. The path and processes Sean and I have shared in our journey is priceless and leaves us humbled and grateful. We wish you a peaceful and beautiful holiday season. Cheers!