Poop. Put it in the Potty

September 5, 2008

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“Finding a good quote about potty training is hard.  I guess no one really wants to talk about it.”

~Writer Dad

Deciding when, and how to take our wee ones from diapers to deliverance is something every parent must face.  

The common timeframe delivered by experts is somewhere between 18 months and 3 years, though I don’t believe that age is as relevant as readiness. 

If our child can tell us about their dirty diaper, they’re probably ready.

If they can articulate their need to be clean, they’re probably ready.

If as an adult, they might remember a time when they strolled the house in diapers, then they’ve been ready for quite a while.

Toilet training might be the first major chasm we cross as parents.  It involves us as much as them, and should be driven by careful thought. Learning to use the restroom isn’t just about losing the diaper, it’s about gaining personal responsibility.  

When we allow our children to stay in diapers when they’re capable of doing otherwise, simply because they don’t want to take their next step or it’s more convenient for us, then we’re allowing them to make the rules, and setting a poor precedent, at a far too early age.  

Worse, we’re teaching them that we’re comfortable with the idea of cleaning up after them, until they decide different.

I know what you’re thinking —  “But my daughter’s only two.” 

That may be true, but she’ll soon be four, then six… then sixteen.  

Right now, she’s learning who she is, and those first years are paramount.

For some children, training is effortless, as easy as slipping vegetables into the mac and cheese.  For others, it’s a trying time when our spawn will heavily assert their will. 

This difficulty shouldn’t detour.  Remember, it’s called potty training.  We may have a little extra laundry, and a load of extra conflict, but the battle is relatively short, and when it’s over, our child is stronger and so are we.

This is all very pragmatic; yet perfectly practical parents seem to lose all perspective when it comes to potty training. 

It’s delicate. 

Either we hedge because of the anticipated difficulty, or we’re afraid of the damage to their psyche if we push too hard or too fast.

As far as cerebral ruin is concerned, I’m not suggesting that anyone wrap their children in chains until they can properly eliminate.  I’m simply saying we should observe our children, for it is us who know them best. 

When we’re confident they understand what’s happening, and what they’re supposed to do, and their bodies are capable of getting the job done, then we have no excuse as parents to stand idle and allow them to make messes for us to clean, with no accountability to themselves.

Potty training doesn’t begin when we finally decide to grit our teeth and buy a couple dozen pair of underwear.  It’s an awareness that we should build into the conversation from the changing table on.

I know the subject’s touchy, and I certainly didn’t raise it to see my subscriber count drop, but Daisy and I have trained ten children in the last three years.  If approached clinically, and in the right window, potty training is a positive and empowering experience.

Today’s wee-book was written from that experience.  Please consider a purchase.  It’s eight wonderful pages and prints beautifully.  You can laminate it and let your little one hold it in their hand.  It’s the first collaborative fruit from the Writer Dad tree; its success is fertilizer for more.  

The awesome picture up top is from Dave at Blogger Dad. He’s melted a multitude of minutes to draw and format this wee-book, without seeing a single penny.  

I hope to correct that this weekend, but either way, I’m glad we could offer potty training help to those who need it.

It’s been a great week.  See you Monday.

Writer Dad

If you liked my words, please subscribe by RSS or email.  I’ll be back again on Monday.

Going to the potty is something we must do.  Mommies do it.  Daddies do it.  Even me and you…

Previous Friday releases:  Mia Maria and Two Times the Kindergarten, Lucas Bright: I Know I’m Special, The Eighth Wonder of the World, and Bye Bye Butterfly.

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{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Writer Dad September 6, 2008 at 6:34 pm

Steph: You’re awesome times seven equals, you’re good for a week.

Rita: You’re doing good work in the comments, Rita. Good work.

Sassy: We have the same story. Fortunately, we’ve had the children of others to help illustrate that it can be a difficult time.

Kyddryn September 6, 2008 at 6:42 pm

“I refuse to potty train my son at gunpoint.”

I had to say that a lot. Also “Why are you so interested in my child’s bowel functions??”

So many people thought they had a say in it, thought they had a right to judge, cajole, punish, bribe, or censure the Evil Genius and his minions (parents) because he wasn’t yet potty trained. Ugh. Once we let go of the need for a timetable, he finally worked it out and had himself right as rain in a couple of days. As in, less than a week.

I think making up a story about the poo-dragon helped. He really liked the idea of the poo-dragon making fertilizer for the trees (we have a septic system).

He’s still in nappies at night, but that’s as much for my benefit as his - I don’t want any of his animals, toys, books, alien life forms, and whatever else he drags into bed with him doused on an off night.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who may actually have said that one of the reasons she won’t have any more kids is she’s finally done with nappies and she doesn’t want to start that mess up again)(but I won’t cop to it)

Kyddryns last blog post..Thoughtfetti and the Bump(er)

Amy Derby September 6, 2008 at 11:53 pm

Having survived the potty training of many many nieces and a few nephews (my family likes to birth girls at a 10 to 1 ratio over boys, sadly), my observation is that boys are way more entertaining (at least when it comes to peeing). I have a new respect for folks who have multiples now that one of my nieces has twins. They’re still babies, but in a few years it’s gonna be double-the-potty-fun. But, since she’s doing cloth diapers and I’m doing a lot of babysitting, I do vote for putting it in the potty directly from the baby booty over this cloth diaper mess. :-) Rock on, potty trainers.

Amy Derbys last blog post..Confessions of a (Not-So-)Closet(ed) Freak

Maneesh Madambath September 7, 2008 at 3:48 am

haha.. potty training yes.. I remember when we (me and a couple of cousins) took the initiative to teach our youngest bro some pot manners.

One of us (dunno if it is his original) came up with this -
“When you sit on the pot and hear a big blot it is… diarrhea ” and asked him to sing this every time his stomach grumbles..and then run to the pot.. was fun for sure :)
Maneesh Madambaths last blog post..Initiative, Follow Up and World Peace

Writer Dad September 7, 2008 at 11:05 am

Kyddryn: Potty training is between parents and children. Period. I love the “poo dragon.” I think it’s awesome. He might need his own book.

Amy: Boys are way more “entertaining.” No question about it. We will continue to rock, Amy. Thank you.

Maneesh: I LOVE the diarrhea song. I haven’t thought about it in years. I’ll probably be remembering versus all morning, now.

Blogger Dad September 7, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Rita - thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it.

Kyddryn AND Writer Dad - If you give WriterDad permission, and he wants to write a poo-dragon story, I’ve already got a GREAT mental image. Why compete in the cutthroat world of children’s books with cute stories and cute characters when we CAN OWN the market of feces-related children’s stories?!

Blogger Dads last blog post..When worlds collide

Rita September 7, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Writer Dad,
I came over to say “hi” and get away from the craziness - and yes, the email IS coming…but, I do have a comment that is relevant to your blog:

I’M POOPED!

And to Blogger Dad:
YOU ARE WELCOME!

Rita

Kyddryn September 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm

Blogger Dad—hahahahahaha! I do have a story about the poo dragon…I suppose I could write it down…but I am SO not doing the illustrations!!

Think we could make a TV series out of it??

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Kyddryns last blog post..Let’s Review

Writer Dad September 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Blogger Dad: There aren’t enough books about crap, though there do seem to be an awful lot of crappy books.

Rita: That’s funny.

Kyddryn: Alright, so are we gonna bring poo dragon to life, or what?

BloggerDad September 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Kyddryn - Hmm, a tv show about crap? I could make so many jokes here that it’s almost too easy… And only half of them involve American Idol.

Writer Dad - And thus was born Craptacular Children’s Literature!

BloggerDads last blog post..Your toddler is full of crap…

Kyddryn September 8, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Hmm…should I name him Herbert Poover, or would that just be a bit much??

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who never named the poor beast…shame on her!!)

Kyddryns last blog post..And Now, Without Further Ado…

Writer Dad September 9, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Blogger Dad: I loved your crappy covers. Let’s make a real one; you know, after we actually design a wee-book that sells more than a copy.

Kyddryn: Herbert Poover is genius.

P.S. This is the post that will not flush.

Blogger Dad September 9, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Just a link so Kyddryn can see what she inspired.
Poo Dragon and more.

Blogger Dads last blog post..Your toddler is full of crap…

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