“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”
~Anais Nin
My daughter writes a post every Thursday over at Children Write the Future, and though she does love to write, she doesn’t necessarily experience the same pleasure at the prospect of sitting in one spot and sanding her work to a smooth finish. The other day she claimed that she was quite certain that I never have to edit my work. I assured her that although some things I write receive only an edit or two, everything gets at least that. And my best work, I told her, is often looked over 5-10 times, sometimes over a period of weeks or months.
I had her sit beside me yesterday while I edited a post. We read the rough draft together, filled as it was with clunky sentences and awkward phrasing. I slowly went through the document, deleting words, adding color and fleshing out my ideas. I explained the reasoning behind each change. What would have taken half an hour was swallowed by the whole, yet I believe it was sixty minutes wonderfully spent. Mia got it, and when we went back to edit her post, it was with a noticeable difference in her attitude. She realized that good enough wasn’t and immediately thought of several ways she could make her work better.
I was grateful for the experience and glad she’d questioned the value of an edit. Just as I often learn a bit more about myself when I write, I also discover more about my thought process when I am teaching my children. Our discussion about the value of editing upstairs and in front of the computer evolved to a deeper discussion downstairs during dinner just one hour later.
“Everything in life can be thought of as an edit,” I said, half surprised as the words left my mouth.
Mia looked at me with the exact expression she’d used when I told her the chicken was really pterodactyl. “Everything?” she repeated.
“Well, maybe not everything,” I said, “but most things in life could be seen that way.”
“Like what?”
The way we live our lives,” I said. “Mommy and I edit our relationship so it gets better each day. You edit your outfits before you leave for school. Max edits which toys he wants to play with and the jokes he wants to tell. Anytime we’re interested in making something the best it can be, we must be willing to edit. Your mother and I are largely responsible for who you and your brother will one day become, and we must do our best to edit you both each day.”
The conversation continued to flow and Mia’s smile continued to widen. The new understanding which brightened her eyes also warmed something inside me; the finish on some of my life’s best work now that much smoother.
I’m not going to lie, sometimes I hate to edit. Though I love shaping things and making them better, there are times when the process is no doubt a chore. I understand Mia’s disinterest in the process and don’t really blame her, though I also know it’s my job to teach her a better way. I would never expect her to edit her raw ideas or go through her journal making X’s and scratches, but if she is going to publish something for others to read while expecting them to spend their valuable minutes, then she should absolutely be delivering her best work.
The same is true with life. Not everything requires a red pen, but we should know which things in our lives are in need of our attention, then take the time needed to trim the fat, solidify our ideas or give clarity to our purpose. Until we stop breathing our life is in draft, but every day we’ve another chance to improve the finish of the final copy.
Writer Dad
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