“Don’t wait to make your son a great man – make him a great boy.”
~Author Unknown
So the other day, Mia and I were…
“Dad.”
“Hold on buddy, I’m telling a story.”
“But I have to tell you something.”
“Okay, but hurry. This post isn’t gonna write itself.”
“It’s my turn.”
“What do you mean? Your turn for what?”
“You talked about Mia last day. It’s my turn.”
“No, Max. Yesterday I wrote about language, and how we learn…”
“No Daddy, you talked about Mia’s school. You always talk about her. You never talk about me.”
“That’s not true, Max.”
“I see what you’re saying, Buddy, but I did a whole post about you right when I first started. Remember?”
“I know how to count, Daddy. This is just like all the pictures of Mia in iphoto.“
“… Um… Well, do you want to watch a movie?”
“Daddy…”
“It’s just that you’re such a good boy, Max. And people like conflict. Mia gives me more to talk about. You know how Daddy keeps working on his book? It’s because there’s not enough conflict.”
“Maybe you could work on the book instead of talking about Mia.“
“You’re right, Max. Come here and give me a hug.”
I know exactly what to say.
My son Max is the nicest person I’ve ever met.
Yes, I know. Being his father should reduce my opinion to little more than an infomercial intruding from another room, but really, if you met him, I’m sure you’d agree.
He says thank you for everything, from a donut before school (a rarity, I promise) to a shot in the arm from the doctor (I’ll tell you that story some other time).
He admits when he’s tired, and tells me at least ten times a day that he loves me, that I’m his best friend, or both.
He will share any toy with anyone, without so much as a thought to slow him.
He is not yet familiar with the worst of humanity, and still believes in everything from Santa Clause to the Easter Bunny without the thinnest wrinkle of suspicion.
He is a teacher’s dream and would make any parent proud.
What about the conflict?
Well, thankfully, he isn’t perfect.
If our rascal was perfect now, Daisy and I would be living in dread of the moment the rug would be yanked from under our feet; terrified that the days were numbered until our little boy was swallowed by the monster of adolescence, causing us to rescind every kind word we’d ever gushed on his behalf.
No, Max may be impossibly nice, but he can also be quite the little rascal, with just enough pesky conduct to assure us that none of his boy parts are broken.
His three most reassuring behaviors:
- Max has the innate ability to lead (manipulate) just about any child (no more than two years his senior) into doing exactly what he wants at any given time. This is a jedi like gift, but he has not always chosen to use it for good.
- He has the ability to migrate from riotous laughter to sullen pout in the thinnest slice of a second (a performance that works exponentially better on Daisy than it does on me, though the opposite I’m sure is true with Mia).
- Max has the occasional, yet unwavering conviction that he is in charge of drafting the house rules, and that everyone else must have simply missed the memo.
But even in their totality, or packed inside a single day, Max really is the most delightful boy I could ever imagine – generous, and funny, and nice.
Seriously, Max, if you were any less of a rascal, I’d be searching for my receipt.
Writer Dad
About Sean Platt
Both my kids are delightful… but one of them is definitely “easier” than the other one is. While one of them is kind and thoughtful and incredibly honest, the other is feisty and charming and gets what she wants in life.
I adore both of them. I am learning so much from each of them. But raising the “easy” child is, well, easier. :)
Vereds last blog post..Thank You For Smoking
Hey, Max,
YOU ROCK. I just thought you’d like to know.
I, too, used to use my powers of manipulation :ahem: PERSUASION for evil instead of good. Anyway, Max. You’re thinking too small. Getting people to do what you want is easy. I know.
I used to convince my brother that the top bunk was the awesomest, just so I could have the bottom bunk to make into a fort. (Flip the blanket over the side and BAM! instant fort.) When I was tired of the bottom, I would talk about how awesome having the fort was and he would insist on ‘making me move’ to the top. Sometimes he was such a crybaby.
Anyway, Max, like I said – I was thinking too small. I got him to do much more interesting things…like go to college and write me (ME!) some really incredible music.
Just think about it, Max. Anyway, anytime you want to get featured in your dad’s blog – go ahead and ask him. I promise I’ll tell him that I am SO INTERESTED in what you do. He can’t resist the BOTH of us…I’m just saying.
Hope you feel better now,
Hayden
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..A World of Hope
Both my kids are delightful… but one of them is definitely “easier” than the other one is. While one of them is kind and thoughtful and incredibly honest, the other is feisty and charming and gets what she wants in life.
I adore both of them. I am learning so much from each of them. But raising the “easy” child is, well, easier. :)
Vereds last blog post..Thank You For Smoking
Hey, Max,
YOU ROCK. I just thought you’d like to know.
I, too, used to use my powers of manipulation :ahem: PERSUASION for evil instead of good. Anyway, Max. You’re thinking too small. Getting people to do what you want is easy. I know.
I used to convince my brother that the top bunk was the awesomest, just so I could have the bottom bunk to make into a fort. (Flip the blanket over the side and BAM! instant fort.) When I was tired of the bottom, I would talk about how awesome having the fort was and he would insist on ‘making me move’ to the top. Sometimes he was such a crybaby.
Anyway, Max, like I said – I was thinking too small. I got him to do much more interesting things…like go to college and write me (ME!) some really incredible music.
Just think about it, Max. Anyway, anytime you want to get featured in your dad’s blog – go ahead and ask him. I promise I’ll tell him that I am SO INTERESTED in what you do. He can’t resist the BOTH of us…I’m just saying.
Hope you feel better now,
Hayden
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..A World of Hope
Luis: I think next week I’ll tell the “shot” story. It’s awesome. I had never seen that quote until last night when I was looking for something appropriate, but now I am in love with it.
Vered: “Feisty and charming and gets what she wants out of life.” You have just effectively described Mia. Fantastically exhausting, isn’t it.
Hayden: Let me tell you why you rock. You spoke directly to Max. That’s awesome. He is resting right now, but when he wakes up, I am going to read what you wrote to him. It will make him feel very special. Thank you.
Luis: I think next week I’ll tell the “shot” story. It’s awesome. I had never seen that quote until last night when I was looking for something appropriate, but now I am in love with it.
Vered: “Feisty and charming and gets what she wants out of life.” You have just effectively described Mia. Fantastically exhausting, isn’t it.
Hayden: Let me tell you why you rock. You spoke directly to Max. That’s awesome. He is resting right now, but when he wakes up, I am going to read what you wrote to him. It will make him feel very special. Thank you.
You should see the relationship with my father; I’m no more than a drinking buddy to him, and I’m only 16! I don’t even know what love is. Nice post though.
You should see the relationship with my father; I’m no more than a drinking buddy to him, and I’m only 16! I don’t even know what love is. Nice post though.
Considering that I’d say child behavior is more nurture than nature:
Good on both of you :)
Dereck Coatneys last blog post..What a Growing Blog Feels Like
Considering that I’d say child behavior is more nurture than nature:
Good on both of you :)
Dereck Coatneys last blog post..What a Growing Blog Feels Like
What a cutie! And the kid’s not too bad either – lol.
I sometimes marvel how 2 children, begun by 2 similar gene pools, can be so different…and how we can love each as much as the other, no matter how different they are.
Truly, though, the SINGLE most important thing to ME was that they love and respect eachother. THAT, without fail, has been the single biggest achievement of my life.
Good going,
Rita
Ritas last blog post..My Father, the Anchor
What a cutie! And the kid’s not too bad either – lol.
I sometimes marvel how 2 children, begun by 2 similar gene pools, can be so different…and how we can love each as much as the other, no matter how different they are.
Truly, though, the SINGLE most important thing to ME was that they love and respect eachother. THAT, without fail, has been the single biggest achievement of my life.
Good going,
Rita
Ritas last blog post..My Father, the Anchor
Andy: I thought you were kidding until I went to your site. Keep up the writing. You’re a natural.
Dereck: Thank you, and congratulations on your traffic. You deserve it.
Rita: Mia and Max are the best of friends. They emulate Mommy and Daddy 90% of the time. The rest of the time, they’re imitating the Hatfields and McCoys.
Andy: I thought you were kidding until I went to your site. Keep up the writing. You’re a natural.
Dereck: Thank you, and congratulations on your traffic. You deserve it.
Rita: Mia and Max are the best of friends. They emulate Mommy and Daddy 90% of the time. The rest of the time, they’re imitating the Hatfields and McCoys.
:)
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..A World of Hope
:)
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..A World of Hope
He sounds like a powerful little boy!
Cheers – Robin
Robins last blog post..Reincarnation… A Scenario
He sounds like a powerful little boy!
Cheers – Robin
Robins last blog post..Reincarnation… A Scenario
This was fun!
He sounds so much like my son. Although mine is only 18 months, he admits when he’s tired and switches from sullen to smiles and back again in a flash.
Max sounds like a strong boy who knows how to say what he means. A lot like his dad.
Emilys last blog post..What Motivates You?
This was fun!
He sounds so much like my son. Although mine is only 18 months, he admits when he’s tired and switches from sullen to smiles and back again in a flash.
Max sounds like a strong boy who knows how to say what he means. A lot like his dad.
Emilys last blog post..What Motivates You?
I’m blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters and they are complete opposites. My youngest is shy and her sister is an extrovert. They compete with each other for my love and attention. It’s so sad that these days don’t last forever. I will enjoy them while I can.
Talk to you soon
T
T Edwardss last blog post..Don’t Call Me Red, Blue Boy!
I’m blessed to have 2 beautiful daughters and they are complete opposites. My youngest is shy and her sister is an extrovert. They compete with each other for my love and attention. It’s so sad that these days don’t last forever. I will enjoy them while I can.
Talk to you soon
T
T Edwardss last blog post..Don’t Call Me Red, Blue Boy!
Hayden: Smiley face back at ya.
Robin: That he is.
Emily: I am sure that your son will be generous with his compliments, just like his mother.
T Edwards: That’s why we write. The moments can’t last forever, but the words can.
Hayden: Smiley face back at ya.
Robin: That he is.
Emily: I am sure that your son will be generous with his compliments, just like his mother.
T Edwards: That’s why we write. The moments can’t last forever, but the words can.
Some great lines in this post.
“This post isn’t gonna write itself.”
They never do.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Reasons Finger Traps are Glorious
Some great lines in this post.
“This post isn’t gonna write itself.”
They never do.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Reasons Finger Traps are Glorious
Good for you, Max! You tell him when he’s not being fair!
Actually, Writer Dad, if you’re going to use your children as subject matter, I think you should do it equitably, and I’m not so sure I’d agree that only conflict is interesting. Maybe in a novel, but not necessarily in a blog. Joy in your experience of M ax is interesting, too. And I think equality is important, as I’ve heard many men complain in support groups that their Dads hadn’t had time for them. And, of course, Andy said above, “You should see the relationship with my father; I’m no more than a drinking buddy to him, and I’m only 16! I don’t even know what love is.”
Good for you, Max! You tell him when he’s not being fair!
Actually, Writer Dad, if you’re going to use your children as subject matter, I think you should do it equitably, and I’m not so sure I’d agree that only conflict is interesting. Maybe in a novel, but not necessarily in a blog. Joy in your experience of M ax is interesting, too. And I think equality is important, as I’ve heard many men complain in support groups that their Dads hadn’t had time for them. And, of course, Andy said above, “You should see the relationship with my father; I’m no more than a drinking buddy to him, and I’m only 16! I don’t even know what love is.”
Bamboo: My favorite – “This is just like all the pictures in iphoto.” It’s true. We have like three thousand pictures of our daughter before our son was born and then the count drops to like three dozen for him . It’s nothing personal, it’s just that time and space seem to forever alter once that second child is born.
Dot: Of course. I was being funny, not serious. I love Max without end, and spend all day with him every day. Hop over to Andy’s blog. We had a nice exchange over there. Daisy even piped in.
Bamboo: My favorite – “This is just like all the pictures in iphoto.” It’s true. We have like three thousand pictures of our daughter before our son was born and then the count drops to like three dozen for him . It’s nothing personal, it’s just that time and space seem to forever alter once that second child is born.
Dot: Of course. I was being funny, not serious. I love Max without end, and spend all day with him every day. Hop over to Andy’s blog. We had a nice exchange over there. Daisy even piped in.
WD,
I just read the last comment in here. NO JUDGEMENTS on anybody else’s opinions. (No matter how ill-thought-out.)
I’ve been thinking for weeks, though – and it gelled after the comment you left on “My Anchor” Blog. Kids don’t come with handbooks, unfortunately, but you and Daisy seem to “get it.” Have you ever blogged about your OWN dad? If so, could you direct me there?
If not – I don’t want to go to touchy areas, but good, bad or indifferent, I’d be interested in knowing a bit…your blog, your decisions, but I DID devote an entire blog to YOU on why I’ve never tasted coffee.
No guilt, of course…
r
Ritas last blog post..Rest In Peace, Dear Joey G. – Your Damn Dad Molested Me
WD,
I just read the last comment in here. NO JUDGEMENTS on anybody else’s opinions. (No matter how ill-thought-out.)
I’ve been thinking for weeks, though – and it gelled after the comment you left on “My Anchor” Blog. Kids don’t come with handbooks, unfortunately, but you and Daisy seem to “get it.” Have you ever blogged about your OWN dad? If so, could you direct me there?
If not – I don’t want to go to touchy areas, but good, bad or indifferent, I’d be interested in knowing a bit…your blog, your decisions, but I DID devote an entire blog to YOU on why I’ve never tasted coffee.
No guilt, of course…
r
Ritas last blog post..Rest In Peace, Dear Joey G. – Your Damn Dad Molested Me
Rita: My father and I have an excellent relationship. I worked with him for twelve years before starting the nursery school with Daisy. I have talked about him already, I just do it in broad strokes. He is a private man and I respect his privacy.
Rita: My father and I have an excellent relationship. I worked with him for twelve years before starting the nursery school with Daisy. I have talked about him already, I just do it in broad strokes. He is a private man and I respect his privacy.
You know, what occurs to me, after reading this post for a second time, is the sometimes frustrating dynamic that is so common with young kids…but purposeful at the same time:
As a SAHM, I spend A TON of time with my kids. A TON. Is it ALWAYS perfect, well-spent, fruitful, nurturing, loving time? No, of course not. Is it that a lot of the time? Absolutely.
I struggle with being a stay-at-home parent. I struggle with the sacrifices it represents, and the knowledge of the other, more selfish things I could be doing. But I’m also glad to have made the choice to stay home with my kids…and for all the things I DON’T miss out on…and for the direct influence I have on my kids’ lives.
But some days, even after I’ve taken the kids to the park, and the children’s museum and the icecream store, and on a nature walk…I still here them utter those famous words, “but Mom, you didn’t give me enough attention!” or “but Mom, you didn’t do anything nice for me today!” Ugh…those ones really hurt.
But these statements…Max’s desire to be the object of Dad’s next post…they are all reminders that our children want…need…crave our 100% attention. They need it to thrive. They need it to be reminded that they are, in fact, the true objects of our desire and love and focus.
Can we supply our kids with 100% attention all the time? Can we make them our 100% focus above the other kids and adult(s) in the family all the time? Of course not. But we can do our damndest to show them that they are worthy of that type of attention sometimes, and stroke their little egos that will someday allow them to turn into confident, self-assured adults? Absolutely.
Thanks for this lovely post, Writer Dad.
Kimmelins last blog post..Teaching Gender Roles
You know, what occurs to me, after reading this post for a second time, is the sometimes frustrating dynamic that is so common with young kids…but purposeful at the same time:
As a SAHM, I spend A TON of time with my kids. A TON. Is it ALWAYS perfect, well-spent, fruitful, nurturing, loving time? No, of course not. Is it that a lot of the time? Absolutely.
I struggle with being a stay-at-home parent. I struggle with the sacrifices it represents, and the knowledge of the other, more selfish things I could be doing. But I’m also glad to have made the choice to stay home with my kids…and for all the things I DON’T miss out on…and for the direct influence I have on my kids’ lives.
But some days, even after I’ve taken the kids to the park, and the children’s museum and the icecream store, and on a nature walk…I still here them utter those famous words, “but Mom, you didn’t give me enough attention!” or “but Mom, you didn’t do anything nice for me today!” Ugh…those ones really hurt.
But these statements…Max’s desire to be the object of Dad’s next post…they are all reminders that our children want…need…crave our 100% attention. They need it to thrive. They need it to be reminded that they are, in fact, the true objects of our desire and love and focus.
Can we supply our kids with 100% attention all the time? Can we make them our 100% focus above the other kids and adult(s) in the family all the time? Of course not. But we can do our damndest to show them that they are worthy of that type of attention sometimes, and stroke their little egos that will someday allow them to turn into confident, self-assured adults? Absolutely.
Thanks for this lovely post, Writer Dad.
Kimmelins last blog post..Teaching Gender Roles
I really enjoyed this one. The reader above is certainly right about there being no handbooks that come with kids. They also by design will push for as many as of their parents resources as they can get. So we have an eternal balancing act between providing for them the connection and resources they need and crave, and setting some reasonable limits about just how far beyond that we are willing and able to go. They, again by no fault of their own, and by design, are apt to forget that there are others in the household with their own needs as well.
You really captured the feel of this push and pull for me. Thanks.
Michael@ Awareness * Connections last blog post..One Year Ago on Awareness * Connection: Helping Your Child with Back to School Anxiety
I really enjoyed this one. The reader above is certainly right about there being no handbooks that come with kids. They also by design will push for as many as of their parents resources as they can get. So we have an eternal balancing act between providing for them the connection and resources they need and crave, and setting some reasonable limits about just how far beyond that we are willing and able to go. They, again by no fault of their own, and by design, are apt to forget that there are others in the household with their own needs as well.
You really captured the feel of this push and pull for me. Thanks.
Michael@ Awareness * Connections last blog post..One Year Ago on Awareness * Connection: Helping Your Child with Back to School Anxiety
Kimmelin: You are so welcome. Your comment was a sweet bookend. Thank YOU.
Michael: My pleasure, Michael. I enjoyed your one year ago article.
Kimmelin: You are so welcome. Your comment was a sweet bookend. Thank YOU.
Michael: My pleasure, Michael. I enjoyed your one year ago article.