• The odds of running into certain people and then it happening. Makes you wonder about coincidences.

    <abbr>Bamboo Forests last blog post..Halloweelection Roundup</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Mom: That story is so on the burner somewhere. It's definitely a classic in the making. You and Pop always did a fantastic job at teaching us to save for what we wanted. A skill I still have to this day.

    Sara: That girl was NOT cool. I can picture hanging out on her half of the tree. She probably grew up and still doesn't know how to share. Let's give her digital raspberries. Max would definitely rather play than have stuff.

    Malathionman: Every comment you leave, leaves me the message that you've got a really good head on you shoulders. We're the same. We don't spend money on things, nearly as much as experiences. Walks are free, and you can get a lot of life out of the way while you're on one.
  • My wife and I try not to buy "things" for the kids, but we do try to do "things" with the kids, even if it means spending a little more than we would like. But we don't over extend ourselves like we did when we were in our 20's. Some things you just learn with age and maturity.

    <abbr>malathionmans last blog post..Thanks Dad</abbr>
  • I remember growing up next door to a girl who loved to run across the lawn, stop at the alder tree that separated our houses, and hold out some shiny new toy to me.

    I would get excited, thinking, "Finally! We're going to play!" But as soon as I reached out to touch her object, her mouth would crumble and she'd run back to her house, object in arms.

    I can't describe the experience as resulting in anything other than utter confusion on my part. But it made it clear to me at a young age that there was a distinct difference between "playing" and "having stuff." Sounds like yours is on the "play" side of the equation!

    <abbr>Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Handling Feedback Elegantly and Easily</abbr>
  • Writer Dad's MOM
    Hi Sean. Yes, I well remember the pre-Christmas days of trying to buy out Toys-R-Us for you and Megan. We did not buy you toys the rest of the year, because these were things that you were expected to buy yourselves with your hard-earned allowances fo regularly doing your chores. We felt that it would help you to appreciate their value and realize how much work had to be done to afford luxuries. It worked (for you...too late for me). The only time I put my foot down was the (you'll shoot your eye out) daisy rifle. Much to my chagrin, your dad caved, and major chaos ensued, including the S.W.A.T. team surrounding our home . (another Oprah for another day...I trust you will later share with your readers. Love ya, mom.
  • Writer Dad
    Ian: I love lending books, music, and especially movies. I never care if I get the books back and the music are always burned CD's. I want a ginormous library someday as well. We have one now in our attic, but it's organized terribly. There's no question that letting the children anticipate and want helps them to appreciate things more, and they do go back home and play with their existing stuff with a fervor. Stuff is just stuff, and respect can't be bought.

    Vered: Just so that we're clear, I have never ever even one single time had my children ass anything to a list. I thought about it once, but simply did not have the heart. : > )

    Jamie: We're a LOT better about it with Max than we were with Mia. You are correct. It seems like it always comes back to bit you.

    Marelisa: Anticipation, I believe, allows us to refine our desires. If we never want, than we're never hungry. If we're never hungry, than we will never work to our potential. Max is the BEST. No doubt. His smile can drop me to my knees.
  • Hi Sean: My little nephew loves trucks of all types and when I take him to the toy store to pick out a gift he spends loads of time carefully weighing his options before choosing hi favorite. I think the anticipation is always the best part, so it's great the your kids get to write huge toy lists in their minds. And Max sounds like the best little guy :-)

    <abbr>Marelisas last blog post..Solve Everyday Problems Creatively</abbr>
  • BTW, LOL to Vered. I ASSume you meant ADD! :) I type like I have hooves, so I completely sympathize.

    <abbr>Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Ready, Set, Unexpected</abbr>
  • Giving them the world is the best gift of all, Sean. I cave into my kids too often, and regret the materialistic attitude that spews from them later. Less is more.

    P.S. Did you know they make a Thomas garbage truck?

    <abbr>Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Ready, Set, Unexpected</abbr>
  • I love the idea of having them ass stuff to a list (real or imaginary). It's a great way to avoid impulse purchases.
  • Ian
    As an only child growing up, I never had to share. It was a hard learned lesson, but a quick one to learn as well. Thank goodness for being friends with three brothers.

    Now as an adult, I have my books. Some day I will build a library in my home, and I will do my part for others by donating generously to my local libraries. Until then, I take great pleasure in lending my books to friends, family, and co-workers to read. There's just something special about sharing things that are special to you.

    There are a select few that never leave the library, though. Those are mine. My time-worn copy of My Antonia is one. The cover that once protected the front fell off from wear and is now the bookmark when I make my repeat journeys through the paragraphs and pages.

    I like your approach to purchasing toys, and I do love the fact that you allow the kids to visit the toy section with every visit. I think it probably instills a sense of fun while teaching the kids the value of those toys so that they respect and treat with care the ones they do have.

    <abbr>Ians last blog post..New ‘Up’ Trailer Released</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Hayden: He doesn't know yet, but he will be. Max is definitely WAY ahead of the game.

    Green Jello: Well said, GJ. Stuff is only that.

    Sal: If you really want it first, you appreciate it more. Me thinks.

    Wendi: I've NEVER looked forward to the holidays more, and having no dollars does nothing to dim my excitement.

    Steph: Said better than I, Steph. It is essential.
  • "It is okay to have some things that belong to only you." It's not only okay. I believe it's essential.

    <abbr>stephs last blog post..What I Know For Sure, No. 3</abbr>
  • Ah,
    such a wonderful look into the window of a moment in your life. I am very excited for your family sean as you embark on this new adventure and the newfound privacy you are all beginning to experience together. I ran a home daycare in my house for a few years when My kids were small. I remember...

    Enjoy these next couple of holidays. The Alone will be so special when you really come to realize there won't be little hands knocking on the door the morning after.

    <abbr>Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirationss last blog post..Are you Planning for the Fog?</abbr>
  • Sal
    No credit is the way to go. I am like Max. Even today I have to pick things up, weigh them in my hand, decide which ones deserve the merit of wanting.

    <abbr>Sals last blog post..How do you show affection?</abbr>
  • The only problem, as a parent, of having something that is Just Yours is that it makes it all the more heartbreaking when a child ruins it. :(

    But in the end, it's all "things".

    <abbr>GreenJellos last blog post..Wordless Wednesday</abbr>
  • Is Max absolutely thrilled that you talked about him, and in such glowing terms??

    Max, you are AWESOME for sharing. Sharing is the best thing ever, especially when OTHER people share with YOU. Some adults haven't even learned this yet, so you are WAY ahead of the game.

    <abbr>Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..Honoring Our Veterans</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Kyddryn: "Does that mean your sweet Max is confident of himself, and doesn’t need to identify himself by his toys and his control of them?" I believe this is an apt description of Max. Bird is setting a good example for his friends who are less able to share. They in turn are setting an example for him. Children need examples for contrast just as they need examples to emulate.

    Barbara: Christmas this year is about our family, and rest. It will be the first two week vacation I've ever had in my life, and the first significant time off, Daisy and I have had together. Ever. I cannot wait.

    J.D. Meir: Like I said to Barbara, this holiday has been a LONG time coming. I can't wait to build a million new memories.

    Maya: I always remember the holidays fondly. My parents also tried to give us more than they really could ever afford to. When our children reflect on the holidays many years from now, I do not want them to remember the gifts. I want them to remember the time.

    Dave: Seeing the silver lining is just about the most important skill in our set.

    Charlie: Wow. Can you imagine a grown up being so honest?

    Eric: My pleasure. A genie's lamp... wish I'd thought of that. It's good.

    Betsy: That's the plan, Betsy. WD is definitely my journal. I just happen to be sharing it with anyone who cares to gander. Thanks for gandering.

    Aylad: No fair working Shakespeare in before lunchtime. I really like what you said about the little paranoias working their way into your impressionable young mind. That is so true. As parents, it's natural for our quirks to become the quirks of our children, and so we must always be mindful.

    Laurie: As I type this, Max is bundled beside me, sick and in quarantine, while Thomas is being a useful engine in front of us. Please do not talk about moving off to college. Such sentiments make me sad. Max said he wants to go to college in a red garbage truck. While I love his method of transport, I'm not in a hurry to see him rev the engine.

    Kristin: Thanks for the compliment on the pace. I always question myself when writing a post with less focus, but less focused was precisely how I was feeling. I hope your day with your kids had as little focus as possible. : > )

    Ross: As amazing as anything else in this world. My absolute pleasure.
  • Hi there... it's interesting hearing of your family's experience and perspective on life. How amazing are kids?! This post really reinforced to me how special and amazing my own kids are, and how much they mean to me. Thanks for sharing.

    <abbr>Rosss last blog post..Be inspired in troubled times</abbr>
  • This was a wonderful, leisurely post to take in while drinking my coffee this morning. I love how the style and pace of it reflect perfectly how a mid-week day off of school feels. (I had one of those days with my kids yesterday, too.)

    <abbr>Kristin T.s last blog post..Politics, religion & sex</abbr>
  • Laurie
    Ahhhhhhh...I remember the time when Thomas was front and center in my house. I really miss that useful engine. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane.

    With me, it wasn't a day care but a preschool I started at my church. In the early days of this adventure I would load up my van with my boys toys and take them to preschool to be shared. My boys didn't have a problem with sharing their toys. It seems that was the case until their toys contained mega bites and digitalness.

    Be careful Sean, what happened to me will no doubt happen to you. I turned around and my little guy was moving off to college. How could that be, he was only 5 years old wasn't he?

    I think I'll go look and see if Thomas is stuffed somewhere back in the closet today. I may have to take him out and roll him around on the table a bit. Just for old times sake of course. ;O)
  • Ironically, my mother taught me not to share.

    Well, not quite. What she taught me is that, ideally, I should share, because it's the nice thing to do, but that in reality, I shouldn't let other kids see my nice toys because then I'd have to share them, and then they would end up broken/stolen/worn out.

    These little paranoias worked their way into my impressionable young mind and stuck fast. I have spent most of my life following Shakespeare's advice (via Polonius) to "neither a borrower nor a lender be."

    <abbr>Aylads last blog post..“From fairest creatures we desire increase”</abbr>
  • Well, not to be contrarian, but I'm struck by the back story - if that's what you call it - here. This was so beautifully written, one could happily weep. Sean, your TONE here! You are so in this moment. All is calm, all is bright, all is right on this day and in this period with your family. You have us so vividly with you, too.

    I suspect you might look at this snapshot when you need a touchstone long from now. Thanks.

    <abbr>Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..REMEMBER</abbr>
  • I greatly enjoyed going on your 'Wal-Mart run' with the family. I could just see Max as he sat in front of that Thomas display, rubbing the boxes like they were a genie's lamp. Thanks for sharing! Eric.

    <abbr>Eric Hamms last blog post..Can Our Kids REALLY Be Whatever They Want To Be?</abbr>
  • My youngest daughter's Christmas list went on the fridge about a month ago. She's pretty good at this---making sure it's available for the longest possible amount of time. But she gave me real pause two years ago when, amongst the usual request for iPods and DVDs she wrote, "More friends."

    <abbr>Charlie Hillss last blog post..The Big Announcement</abbr>
  • One of the first words all my children learnt was MINE.

    The first one taught it to the other three.

    Not ideal but as a result they're all ace negatiators.

    I'm always looking for the silver lining :)

    <abbr>Dave Fowlers last blog post..Why Cleaning Your Toilet Could Be Bad For Your Children’s Health</abbr>
  • Surely, sharing gives Max a lot of joy. It seems Max is as mature as they come - he is learning early about the things that make him happy. Keep telling him what you said in that closing paragraph - so he knows when to give some back to himself.

    My parents tried their best to give us everything we ever wanted - even with very limited means. After all these years, all I remember is what they wanted to give us - I have no memories of what I did not get - none whatsoever. It is wonderful that are giving your kids the world. They understand it alright!

    <abbr>Mayas last blog post..Slideshow: Dogs Lessons for Life and Work</abbr>
  • You reminded me of how much about the holidays is the mindset and the anticipation. It sounds like you're anticipation is filled to the brim and I think that's where some holidays shine -- creating that special something extra feeling, even if it's as simple as simply looking forward to whatever spoken and unspoken promises there might be.

    Giving the world to your kids is huge, especially through kid's eyes.

    <abbr>J.D. Meiers last blog post..Design a Routine for Exceptional Thinking</abbr>
  • Hi Writer Dad - I was smiling as I read this. It reminded me of when I was a kid and wanted everything I saw in the Christmas catalogs. I would write long lists and give them to my parents. I knew I wouldn't get much off the list, but dreaming of what Christmas morning would bring was even better than the morning itself.

    Christmas is definitely for children. It sounds like this year will be extra special for you and your family.

    <abbr>Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Are Domain Names Over Rated</abbr>
  • From the time Bird was old enough to have playmates, I have told him that he may choose to put away any special toy that he doesn't want to share - and he never has. I have, but not him.

    One of his friends has issues with sharing, and will snatch a toy out of another child's hand and place it where they cannot reach it. He will do it continually until there are no toys left. Recently, he has added a spoken element, telling the other children that they may not play with HIS toys, they are HIS and no one can touch them unless HE says so. The funny thing is, he does this even when the toys AREN'T his!

    Poor Bird gets so frustrated, but even so...when the kids are at our house, he never takes toys from them and hides them or throws them down the stairs or denies access. Again, sometimes I do (because I really don't want them out, or I know they're delicate and require care in play - something one child may achieve, but a herd can't manage), but he's game.

    The dynamic of "share", the concept of ownership, is so different for children, isn't it? I know Bird's friend didn't learn his behavior from his mother, who is generous, kind, and deeply frustrated with his behavior...so where does it come from? Is he uncertain of himself, and therefor seeking to define his boundaries? Does that mean your sweet Max is confident of himself, and doesn't need to identify himself by his toys and his control of them?

    Bears thinking about.

    I think it's awesome that Max is so willing to share, that he has a generous spirit...and that he will have the opportunity to simply enjoy what is his this holiday season, without thought, but with the simple joy only a child can muster .

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who needs to shop the way you do, because she's a complete sucker when shopping with the Evil Genius...or without!)

    <abbr>Kyddryns last blog post..Veteran's Day</abbr>
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