“A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.”
~Chinese Proverb
I‘m a bit of out of sorts. The children had the day off from school and so did we. It feels odd, tomorrow being middle of the week.
This morning we went for a walk. This in itself is not unusual. We walk often. What was unusual, was running into my father two blocks outside our house. He was delivering flowers, and we live on the other side of town. The odds of him passing us at that particular moment, in a city of nearly half a million people were slim.
“Was that Pop?” Daisy said. “I think I just saw Pop.” She repeated herself without missing a beat in expectation of my disbelief.
The four of us held hands on the corner as my father pulled the car full of flowers against the curb and idled.
It was California crisp. The sun was confident enough to fill the sky, but not cruel enough to make us anything less than perfectly comfortable.
Pop rolled down the windows and I immediately smelled the pungent scent I’d slowly grown immune to over the dozen years I peddled petals. Our exchange was brief, mostly made of fancy meeting you here; the motor was running, and the flowers weren’t getting any fresher. Max and Mia each took a final whiff of the flowers before waving farewell.
I said good-bye to Pop. Neither of us said anything during the quiet that passed between us, each one remembering a time when we had less sharing to do, and time didn’t arrive in such a premium. He turned around, we waved goodbye, and continued our trek to Walmart for an armload of essentials.
We took care of our must dos, then headed toward the deepest pocket of the nation’s smallest Walmart (located smack in the middle of downtown). We wandered the toy aisles, and allowed the children to look like we always do. They love this activity, both of them constantly drawing imaginary lists. “Can I have this for my birthday?” Max will ask, even though his birthday is still seven months away. “Can I have this for Christmas?” Mia will look up, even though she already knows the answer.
“You may add it to your list,” we say.
Max’s current favorite X on the treasure map is tied between anything Thomas and anything having to do with garbage trucks, or trash in general. This morning, he parked himself at the bottom of the Thomas display, pulled a box from the shelf, and ran his fingers across the top. He turned it in his hands and traced the letters, starting with the T and ending with the S. He returned the box to the shelf and pulled down another. He continued to do this with a series of boxes, investigating the merit of each.
Max knows there is no possibility that we are leaving with anything beyond what we came for. There never is. We leave the house with only cash, and perhaps a dollar or two more than we might need. Daisy and I have been parents long enough to know our shortcomings. Max has a handful of expressions that could possibly convince us to crumble our cardinal rule of NO CREDIT.
Daisy and I have never been more excited for the holidays. They will be modest for certain, but Max, for the first time, will have toys that he will not have to share. Max is by nature, an immeasurably generous child. During his first year of life, he shared everything he had with his sister, always and without hesitation. Daisy and I have run the preschool since he was one, and he has carried the habit forward like an eye color.
We’ve given him plenty of opportunities. Every time he has a birthday or occasion for gift, we tell Max that he does not have to take it downstairs if he doesn’t want to. But that just isn’t in his nature. The Radio Flyer tricycle Pop bought him stayed his for only days. Max doesn’t know the opposite of share.
It is okay to have some things that belong to only you. It could be your favorite book or toy, a journal, or perhaps your parents. This Christmas, we are giving the world to our children.
Writer Dad
Ghostwriter Dad specializes in SEO web copy and custom blog posts. Just in case yesterday was your day off, you can find Lucas with the lid off here.
About Sean Platt
Hi Sean. Yes, I well remember the pre-Christmas days of trying to buy out Toys-R-Us for you and Megan. We did not buy you toys the rest of the year, because these were things that you were expected to buy yourselves with your hard-earned allowances fo regularly doing your chores. We felt that it would help you to appreciate their value and realize how much work had to be done to afford luxuries. It worked (for you…too late for me). The only time I put my foot down was the (you’ll shoot your eye out) daisy rifle. Much to my chagrin, your dad caved, and major chaos ensued, including the S.W.A.T. team surrounding our home . (another Oprah for another day…I trust you will later share with your readers. Love ya, mom.
Hi Sean. Yes, I well remember the pre-Christmas days of trying to buy out Toys-R-Us for you and Megan. We did not buy you toys the rest of the year, because these were things that you were expected to buy yourselves with your hard-earned allowances fo regularly doing your chores. We felt that it would help you to appreciate their value and realize how much work had to be done to afford luxuries. It worked (for you…too late for me). The only time I put my foot down was the (you’ll shoot your eye out) daisy rifle. Much to my chagrin, your dad caved, and major chaos ensued, including the S.W.A.T. team surrounding our home . (another Oprah for another day…I trust you will later share with your readers. Love ya, mom.
I remember growing up next door to a girl who loved to run across the lawn, stop at the alder tree that separated our houses, and hold out some shiny new toy to me.
I would get excited, thinking, “Finally! We’re going to play!” But as soon as I reached out to touch her object, her mouth would crumble and she’d run back to her house, object in arms.
I can’t describe the experience as resulting in anything other than utter confusion on my part. But it made it clear to me at a young age that there was a distinct difference between “playing” and “having stuff.” Sounds like yours is on the “play” side of the equation!
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Handling Feedback Elegantly and Easily
I remember growing up next door to a girl who loved to run across the lawn, stop at the alder tree that separated our houses, and hold out some shiny new toy to me.
I would get excited, thinking, “Finally! We’re going to play!” But as soon as I reached out to touch her object, her mouth would crumble and she’d run back to her house, object in arms.
I can’t describe the experience as resulting in anything other than utter confusion on my part. But it made it clear to me at a young age that there was a distinct difference between “playing” and “having stuff.” Sounds like yours is on the “play” side of the equation!
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..Handling Feedback Elegantly and Easily
My wife and I try not to buy “things” for the kids, but we do try to do “things” with the kids, even if it means spending a little more than we would like. But we don’t over extend ourselves like we did when we were in our 20′s. Some things you just learn with age and maturity.
malathionmans last blog post..Thanks Dad
My wife and I try not to buy “things” for the kids, but we do try to do “things” with the kids, even if it means spending a little more than we would like. But we don’t over extend ourselves like we did when we were in our 20′s. Some things you just learn with age and maturity.
malathionmans last blog post..Thanks Dad
Mom: That story is so on the burner somewhere. It’s definitely a classic in the making. You and Pop always did a fantastic job at teaching us to save for what we wanted. A skill I still have to this day.
Sara: That girl was NOT cool. I can picture hanging out on her half of the tree. She probably grew up and still doesn’t know how to share. Let’s give her digital raspberries. Max would definitely rather play than have stuff.
Malathionman: Every comment you leave, leaves me the message that you’ve got a really good head on you shoulders. We’re the same. We don’t spend money on things, nearly as much as experiences. Walks are free, and you can get a lot of life out of the way while you’re on one.
Mom: That story is so on the burner somewhere. It’s definitely a classic in the making. You and Pop always did a fantastic job at teaching us to save for what we wanted. A skill I still have to this day.
Sara: That girl was NOT cool. I can picture hanging out on her half of the tree. She probably grew up and still doesn’t know how to share. Let’s give her digital raspberries. Max would definitely rather play than have stuff.
Malathionman: Every comment you leave, leaves me the message that you’ve got a really good head on you shoulders. We’re the same. We don’t spend money on things, nearly as much as experiences. Walks are free, and you can get a lot of life out of the way while you’re on one.
The odds of running into certain people and then it happening. Makes you wonder about coincidences.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..Halloweelection Roundup
The odds of running into certain people and then it happening. Makes you wonder about coincidences.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..Halloweelection Roundup