“Do you think she still believes?” I whispered.
“Hard to say,” Cindy scrunched her nose. “I’d like to think yes, but it’s probably wishful thinking. If so, we have one year left, max.”
That was last year.
This year, it feels like we’re on hanging to belief by our fingernails (and denial). Our daughter Haley is nine years old, a few weeks shy of 10. Much to our delight, she still believes in Santa Clause. Or at least she’s smart enough to not allow her remaining faith to fade to nothing so close to the morning of truth.
Yes, of course we know Santa is silly tradition. But it’s one of the most lovable traditions there is. I loved believing in Santa as a child, so did my sister. And I longed to share the magic with my own children. Cindy, who had a zombie apocalypse childhood compared to my relative Disneyland, longed to do the same.
Now the façade is crumbling.
Whether or not Haley still believes in Santa Claus neither of us can say for sure.
But we agree the writing is on the wall. There aren’t too many 10-year-olds who truly believe.
Cindy has spent 20 some odd years as an elementary school teacher, the majority as a 4th grade teacher – the same grade Haley’s in right now. She said 4th graders who really believed were about as common as snow in fall.
Whenever she asked her 4th graders questions like, “Was Santa good to you?” she was most often answered with a rolling eye or quiet smirk.
I don’t remember exactly when I lost my own belief in jolly ole’ Nick, but I think it was around 8. And while I can’t recall the when, I do remember what happened immediately before.
I’d just called bollocks on the Easter Bunny. And as soon as I knew the Easter Bunny was a sham, Santa and his eight tiny reindeer ho-ho-hoaxed right behind. Ethan lost a tooth last week, I watched Haley’s reaction like a hawk.
Haley has a beautifully analytical mind, and it’s difficult for me to believe she hasn’t toyed with the idea that Santa’s a sham. She sometimes sees the wires and seams which split the magic of a movie’s special effects. I find it impossible to believe she hasn’t tried to unravel the mystery of Santa. Once she started, how could she arrive at any other conclusion?
Probably the same way we all do.
How many times have you lied to yourself, focusing on the 5, 10, maybe 20% of you that truly believed something, completely ignoring the 80% that didn’t?
For me, more times than I admit.
While that isn’t always the healthiest thing to do, right now and for the remainder of this year, I’m glad that’s what my daughter is doing. And once the kitty’s out of the bag and purring, I hope she can keep a secret.
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About Sean Platt
Oh, how this hit me today Sean…. you know Connor is 9 and I think he is on the edge of not believing but doesn’t want to say….. it makes me so sad because they are growing up so fast but as long as we support that “spirit” inside them then in their own way they will always believe in the magic of what Santa and Christmas stand for….
That’s it right there, I never want the magic to fade, you know? I don’t care about what she actually believes, but I love the mystery and excitement and am loathe to let it fade.
“I’d just called bollocks on the Easter Bunny. And as soon as I knew the Easter Bunny was a sham, Santa and his eight tiny reindeer ho-ho-hoaxed right behind. Ethan lost a tooth last week, I watched Haley’s reaction like a hawk.”
We know Haley best and have watched her grow 2 millimeters everyday since she came into the world. Now it has added up to the next steps in maturation that my heart grieves and embraces in the same moment. Sweet Post Sean! Home Run in my eyes. #1Fan with a tissue today.
Thanks babyluv, and thanks for riding next to me in the sleigh!
I stuck with family tradition on this one and shared the magic of Santa with my children. My youngest figured out several years ago that Santa is really Mom. Now he insists on calling me Santa! Somehow this has rolled over to me representing Santa online at http://bizabacus.com/santa. If you happen to stop by, feel free to leave your wish list. :)
All I want for Christmas is more time!
Of course, I am way past the time of Santa Claus, but the entire time I was growing up, Christmas still held charms.
We had a very traditional Christmas with almost all of the presents put under the tree on Christmas Eve. Each of my brother and sisters and I had a special chair we sat in on Christmas morning to open our presents. My Father played Santa Claus and for at least one day a year, the world was a magical place.
One other thing about growing older at the Holidays, as our own money grew, we used to buy each other gifts. I remember one year when my younger sister was only earning $.25 per week for an allowance and was so proud that she bought each of us a small little notepad for Christmas. It cost her an entire month’s allowance to get them, and each of us cherished those notepads.
Christmas is in the heart, not so much on Santa’s shoulders. :)
Never on Santa’s shoulders, but his big bowl full of jelly belly can make the magic brighter!
Hey, if you don’t believe, you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of Santa , Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy bringing you a damn thing! So I say, believe, believe, believe, or fake it real good! I still swear by my parking angel who gives me amazing parking spots while other cars repeatedly circle. Love ya, P.A.!! :)
That’s what Haley’s playing at, now we’re even more sure. The way she was talking about Santa at dinner last night, well, the seams were definitely showing. :)