When you are through changing, you are through.
~Bruce Barton
We’ve been going to Pancake Tavern, a small restaurant ten blocks from our house, since Mia’s seed was just a sprout. It’s the sort of place that does a few things well, rather than plenty, pushing for par. I make pancakes for the preschoolers every Wednesday, but I still order a stack of these fluffy flapjacks every time I’m there.
For several years, our Sunday ritual was a stroll to the restaurant while streets were still empty; holding hands, counting sparrows, and playing “I Spy.” Early, we’d slip into an empty booth, slowly indulge, than walk off the first several mouthfuls of our meal.
Time’s marched and we’ve gone less, but the ritual’s never vanished.
When our children are grown, flipping pancakes in their kitchens or holding menus for their little ones, a single memory from any one of several dozen scrumptious Sundays will most certainly seize their senses.
We went to the Tavern this morning, not just to fill our tummies, but to turn a page in our story. The last time was Labor Day weekend, the restaurant’s final fleeting hours in its first, familiar location. It was so hot that day, we didn’t order coffee. This morning, the first nip of the changing season chewed on our ears as we stepped between fallen leaves.
We strolled to the new spot, three blocks closer to our porch. It was there, outside on the Tavern’s new patio, where we first told Max and Mia the news that we were closing our preschool.
Daisy and I carefully crafted the chance to tell our children the news. We were delicate with how we transitioned our families; it was paramount we give the same consideration to a succession of moments which would gum in our children’s minds forever.
Our preschool unit this month is about change. Max has sat for every lesson, fingers folded, learning about getting bigger and moving on to something better. He is ready at the restaurant, when he unfolds his hands and asks, “Why did the Pancake Tavern get different?” His right hand’s in front now, flat enough to balance a tray of cookies.
“Because they wanted to move to someplace bigger,” Mia says. She doesn’t so much as pause the pink pencil passing over her picture.
I squeeze Daisy’s hand.
“Why do you think they wanted something bigger?” I ask.
Mia looks up from her drawing. “Because they wanted to serve more people, and make more money.”
Bingo.
We explained that we were closing our preschool, so we could reach more students through the computer.
Mia was a million miles over the moon; maybe more. Max just stared past us, toward the passerby on the sidewalk, as if they might be able to tell him whether or not he would see his friends the following summer.
“What are you thinking?” Daisy touches his cheek after a quiet moment, and pulls it toward her.
“Will we still have Pancakes Wednesdays?”
“Wednesdays” he says an octave higher.
“Of course,” I say. “We’ll always have Pancake Wednesdays.”
Mia put her arms around her brother and kissed him on his forehead. “What color do you want your new room to be?”
“BLUE,” he squeals.
It was pivotal for Mia to get it. Max is more of a slow burn, but Mia’s influence will channel his heat.
Every change isn’t good, but we’re more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose. These days are the end of something wonderful, and the beginning of something better. There are three people in the world who see it that way, and each one of us will help along the fourth.
Writer Dad
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Sweet story. I am now hungry for pancakes too!
Jamess last blog post..Finally!
Sweet story. I am now hungry for pancakes too!
Jamess last blog post..Finally!
Anne Cleveland: It’s a subliminal thing. I thought I had my fill from yesterday, but after reading the word pancake a couple dozen times, I’m smelling the syrup. I hope I didn’t make your tummy rumble.
Jamie: I think about their memories every day. I am one of the principle architects of the world that is shaped around them. It’s a serious job, and I never want to drop the ball.
Oktober Five: Traditions definitely tip the scales over experiences. I can think of the experiences of my childhood with effort, but the recalling tradition is as simple as closing my eyes.
Vered: Thank you, Vered, my constant reader. No scanning means the world to me.
Wendi: Sunday breakfast is definitely a tradition I aped from my own childhood. I hope every day that I am giving my children new traditions to take with them on their own someday.
Patricia: We do pizza on Friday (movie night), another fine tradition. You’re right, I think tradition gives us comfort. That’s why we love December, it’s chock full of both.
Dave: Yeah, what is it with that? There was a streak of sadness, Dave. Thanks for catching it. It’s not too late to build the traditions, but there’s no doubt you should start.
Rita: Both Mia and Max responded exactly how we thought they would; Mia perhaps more exuberant than expected. Mia will be coming home from school, no longer having to share. Max is losing his daytime playmates. What he’s gaining, six months alone with Mommy and Daddy, is priceless and will stay with him forever.
James: Pancakes all around!
Anne Cleveland: It’s a subliminal thing. I thought I had my fill from yesterday, but after reading the word pancake a couple dozen times, I’m smelling the syrup. I hope I didn’t make your tummy rumble.
Jamie: I think about their memories every day. I am one of the principle architects of the world that is shaped around them. It’s a serious job, and I never want to drop the ball.
Oktober Five: Traditions definitely tip the scales over experiences. I can think of the experiences of my childhood with effort, but the recalling tradition is as simple as closing my eyes.
Vered: Thank you, Vered, my constant reader. No scanning means the world to me.
Wendi: Sunday breakfast is definitely a tradition I aped from my own childhood. I hope every day that I am giving my children new traditions to take with them on their own someday.
Patricia: We do pizza on Friday (movie night), another fine tradition. You’re right, I think tradition gives us comfort. That’s why we love December, it’s chock full of both.
Dave: Yeah, what is it with that? There was a streak of sadness, Dave. Thanks for catching it. It’s not too late to build the traditions, but there’s no doubt you should start.
Rita: Both Mia and Max responded exactly how we thought they would; Mia perhaps more exuberant than expected. Mia will be coming home from school, no longer having to share. Max is losing his daytime playmates. What he’s gaining, six months alone with Mommy and Daddy, is priceless and will stay with him forever.
James: Pancakes all around!
Helping children deal with change is SO important. I still remember some of the changes in my childhood where I lost a lot, even though later I may have gained other things. Unlike in your family, the changes in mine were sudden, not explained, and enforced with an iron fist. How to make a child scared of change? Do it my family’s way.
Dots last blog post..My Hideous Life
Helping children deal with change is SO important. I still remember some of the changes in my childhood where I lost a lot, even though later I may have gained other things. Unlike in your family, the changes in mine were sudden, not explained, and enforced with an iron fist. How to make a child scared of change? Do it my family’s way.
Dots last blog post..My Hideous Life
I dont always comment but Im always here reading, WD.
you have such a gift with words. your ability to convey your message.
such a gift to US and to your children.
MizFits last blog post..Monday Facetime: The Other Side of the PINK Couch.
I dont always comment but Im always here reading, WD.
you have such a gift with words. your ability to convey your message.
such a gift to US and to your children.
MizFits last blog post..Monday Facetime: The Other Side of the PINK Couch.
Yum, pancakes. Might be breakfast for dinner at my house… ;)
hanks last blog post..Bah With Flooding the Blogosphere With Too Much of the Same (Hanks Weekly Hangouts #53 – October 11, 2008)
Yum, pancakes. Might be breakfast for dinner at my house… ;)
hanks last blog post..Bah With Flooding the Blogosphere With Too Much of the Same (Hanks Weekly Hangouts #53 – October 11, 2008)
“We are more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose.” Aye, Writer Dad. Like a hawk a zero in on my prey. Good Day and the best to you. E
Ellen Wilsons last blog post..Work it Like a Turkish Pop Star
“We are more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose.” Aye, Writer Dad. Like a hawk a zero in on my prey. Good Day and the best to you. E
Ellen Wilsons last blog post..Work it Like a Turkish Pop Star
What a great ritual: walking to the pancake-place every Sunday with the family. I read somewhere that we’re scared of change because it means a part of us has to die to make room for the new. Some people just seem to be more in touch with the cycle of death and rebirth than others . . .
What a great ritual: walking to the pancake-place every Sunday with the family. I read somewhere that we’re scared of change because it means a part of us has to die to make room for the new. Some people just seem to be more in touch with the cycle of death and rebirth than others . . .
How funny, my family also had a pancake tradition when I was younger. Except it was on Sundays and my mom would always make a big breakfast that included pancakes.
It’s so great that you’re that sensitive to your children and helping them deal with change. I have to say that even now, there are traditions that truly matter to me involving my family that I would never want to see abandoned. Some change is good, but certain moments of familiarity that run through the course of our lives are just as valuable.
Janines last blog post..Reading to Write.
How funny, my family also had a pancake tradition when I was younger. Except it was on Sundays and my mom would always make a big breakfast that included pancakes.
It’s so great that you’re that sensitive to your children and helping them deal with change. I have to say that even now, there are traditions that truly matter to me involving my family that I would never want to see abandoned. Some change is good, but certain moments of familiarity that run through the course of our lives are just as valuable.
Janines last blog post..Reading to Write.
Hi Sean, bet you never thought I could do this! Pancakes rock! Yours rock and mine rock even more! (ha ha). Family breakfast is a great tradition. Many important issues can be chewed and digested over a good plate of chow! You must do a post on our family Bake N Broil excursions, for better or worse. Unfortunately, at times the food was glorious and the conversations ptomaine (or non-existent). I always enjoy “Grammy night” dinners (once a week) because they are warm and fuzzy. Luv ya!
Hi Sean, bet you never thought I could do this! Pancakes rock! Yours rock and mine rock even more! (ha ha). Family breakfast is a great tradition. Many important issues can be chewed and digested over a good plate of chow! You must do a post on our family Bake N Broil excursions, for better or worse. Unfortunately, at times the food was glorious and the conversations ptomaine (or non-existent). I always enjoy “Grammy night” dinners (once a week) because they are warm and fuzzy. Luv ya!
An artist can take what seem to be a trivial task and create an image that leaves a long lasting imprint in our collective consciousness.
Chriss last blog post..My Back
An artist can take what seem to be a trivial task and create an image that leaves a long lasting imprint in our collective consciousness.
Chriss last blog post..My Back
You had me confused today! You made me think it was Wednesday.
It seems to me Mia is and will be an intelligent person. Great work.
Jim Gaudets last blog post..The Secret – Do you believe?
You had me confused today! You made me think it was Wednesday.
It seems to me Mia is and will be an intelligent person. Great work.
Jim Gaudets last blog post..The Secret – Do you believe?
It is nice that Pancakes Wednesdays still continue! Change is never easy but there is always every hope that things will turn out to much better after that. All the best!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Can The Artist See The Big Picture?
It is nice that Pancakes Wednesdays still continue! Change is never easy but there is always every hope that things will turn out to much better after that. All the best!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Can The Artist See The Big Picture?
I can’t tell you how many years I dreamed of the color I wanted my new room to be. The room I wouldn’t have to share with anyone else. I never got it. Bitter? No, why do you ask?
apathy lounges last blog post..Brain Lint
I can’t tell you how many years I dreamed of the color I wanted my new room to be. The room I wouldn’t have to share with anyone else. I never got it. Bitter? No, why do you ask?
apathy lounges last blog post..Brain Lint
When my wife and I adopted our 3 kids we discussed “traditions” that we wanted to start with our new family. Eating meals at the dinner table was one of them. It is a great place to have important conversations and catch up on what is going on with everyone.
malathionmans last blog post..Malathionman’s Horror Holiday Picks
When my wife and I adopted our 3 kids we discussed “traditions” that we wanted to start with our new family. Eating meals at the dinner table was one of them. It is a great place to have important conversations and catch up on what is going on with everyone.
malathionmans last blog post..Malathionman’s Horror Holiday Picks
Hi Writer Dad – From the mouths of babes reveals what’s truly important, pancake Wednesdays and a blue room.
What a beautifully written story.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..A.S.K. Darren Rowse of Proglogger – How Do We Increase Our Readership
Hi Writer Dad – From the mouths of babes reveals what’s truly important, pancake Wednesdays and a blue room.
What a beautifully written story.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..A.S.K. Darren Rowse of Proglogger – How Do We Increase Our Readership
A wonderful tradition you have built for your children, Sean. That’s a gift that will last a lifetime. Continue to enjoy these special memories you are making with your children!
Lances last blog post..Life’s A Balancing Act
A wonderful tradition you have built for your children, Sean. That’s a gift that will last a lifetime. Continue to enjoy these special memories you are making with your children!
Lances last blog post..Life’s A Balancing Act
Dot: My wife’s family was a lot like yours, abrupt and iron fisted. We try to use caution and care, knowing full well that the experience of that change will stay with them forever.
MizFit: That’s the sweetest thing to say Miz. Thanks for being a constant reader, and taking the time to tell me. I truly appreciate it.
Hank: I had assumed we’d be having pancakes for dinner with all the flapjack discussion, but alas, we did not. Leftover Chinese instead.
Ellen: I fully appreciate the comment, Ellen, but you should be working on your book right now.
Marelisa: I’ve never thought of it that way before, but I completely agree with you.
Janine: We all need our touchstones, the make the soft shifts of our life far easier to handle.
Fluerty Girl: Ladies and gentleman, my mom, who is either at the library or computer class right now if she’s dropping a comment. Hi Mom! I never doubted you could do it for a second; you’re the one who thought the mouse actually had a tail. I plan to do posts on both Bake-N-Broil and Grammy Night. I’ll see you on Thursday and we’ll work on your guest post. Love you too. Sean,
Chris: Thanks, Chris. That might explain why I feel so tired.
Jim: I confused my wife too. She was concerned that she didn’t finish her post about World Poverty Day (I kid you not). I had to remind her that it wasn’t Wednesday.
Evelyn: Pancake Wednesdays, to infinity and beyond.
Apathy Lounge: You’re a grown up now, get to Home Depot and buy yourself a gallon of pink paint. Go to town.
Malationman: Few things are more important to our family than meals around the dinner table. The only night we miss them, is Friday because it’s movie night and we’re all munching on Pizza in front of the screen.
Barbara: Thanks Barbara; a blue room it will be.
Lance: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dot: My wife’s family was a lot like yours, abrupt and iron fisted. We try to use caution and care, knowing full well that the experience of that change will stay with them forever.
MizFit: That’s the sweetest thing to say Miz. Thanks for being a constant reader, and taking the time to tell me. I truly appreciate it.
Hank: I had assumed we’d be having pancakes for dinner with all the flapjack discussion, but alas, we did not. Leftover Chinese instead.
Ellen: I fully appreciate the comment, Ellen, but you should be working on your book right now.
Marelisa: I’ve never thought of it that way before, but I completely agree with you.
Janine: We all need our touchstones, the make the soft shifts of our life far easier to handle.
Fluerty Girl: Ladies and gentleman, my mom, who is either at the library or computer class right now if she’s dropping a comment. Hi Mom! I never doubted you could do it for a second; you’re the one who thought the mouse actually had a tail. I plan to do posts on both Bake-N-Broil and Grammy Night. I’ll see you on Thursday and we’ll work on your guest post. Love you too. Sean,
Chris: Thanks, Chris. That might explain why I feel so tired.
Jim: I confused my wife too. She was concerned that she didn’t finish her post about World Poverty Day (I kid you not). I had to remind her that it wasn’t Wednesday.
Evelyn: Pancake Wednesdays, to infinity and beyond.
Apathy Lounge: You’re a grown up now, get to Home Depot and buy yourself a gallon of pink paint. Go to town.
Malationman: Few things are more important to our family than meals around the dinner table. The only night we miss them, is Friday because it’s movie night and we’re all munching on Pizza in front of the screen.
Barbara: Thanks Barbara; a blue room it will be.
Lance: I wouldn’t have it any other way.