• Writer Dad
    Dot: My wife's family was a lot like yours, abrupt and iron fisted. We try to use caution and care, knowing full well that the experience of that change will stay with them forever.

    MizFit: That's the sweetest thing to say Miz. Thanks for being a constant reader, and taking the time to tell me. I truly appreciate it.

    Hank: I had assumed we'd be having pancakes for dinner with all the flapjack discussion, but alas, we did not. Leftover Chinese instead.

    Ellen: I fully appreciate the comment, Ellen, but you should be working on your book right now.

    Marelisa: I've never thought of it that way before, but I completely agree with you.

    Janine: We all need our touchstones, the make the soft shifts of our life far easier to handle.

    Fluerty Girl: Ladies and gentleman, my mom, who is either at the library or computer class right now if she's dropping a comment. Hi Mom! I never doubted you could do it for a second; you're the one who thought the mouse actually had a tail. I plan to do posts on both Bake-N-Broil and Grammy Night. I'll see you on Thursday and we'll work on your guest post. Love you too. Sean,

    Chris: Thanks, Chris. That might explain why I feel so tired.

    Jim: I confused my wife too. She was concerned that she didn't finish her post about World Poverty Day (I kid you not). I had to remind her that it wasn't Wednesday.

    Evelyn: Pancake Wednesdays, to infinity and beyond.

    Apathy Lounge: You're a grown up now, get to Home Depot and buy yourself a gallon of pink paint. Go to town.

    Malationman: Few things are more important to our family than meals around the dinner table. The only night we miss them, is Friday because it's movie night and we're all munching on Pizza in front of the screen.

    Barbara: Thanks Barbara; a blue room it will be.

    Lance: I wouldn't have it any other way.
  • A wonderful tradition you have built for your children, Sean. That's a gift that will last a lifetime. Continue to enjoy these special memories you are making with your children!

    <abbr>Lances last blog post..Life’s A Balancing Act</abbr>
  • Hi Writer Dad - From the mouths of babes reveals what's truly important, pancake Wednesdays and a blue room.

    What a beautifully written story.

    <abbr>Barbara Swaffords last blog post..A.S.K. Darren Rowse of Proglogger - How Do We Increase Our Readership</abbr>
  • When my wife and I adopted our 3 kids we discussed "traditions" that we wanted to start with our new family. Eating meals at the dinner table was one of them. It is a great place to have important conversations and catch up on what is going on with everyone.

    <abbr>malathionmans last blog post..Malathionman's Horror Holiday Picks</abbr>
  • I can't tell you how many years I dreamed of the color I wanted my new room to be. The room I wouldn't have to share with anyone else. I never got it. Bitter? No, why do you ask?

    <abbr>apathy lounges last blog post..Brain Lint</abbr>
  • It is nice that Pancakes Wednesdays still continue! Change is never easy but there is always every hope that things will turn out to much better after that. All the best!

    <abbr>Evelyn Lims last blog post..Can The Artist See The Big Picture?</abbr>
  • You had me confused today! You made me think it was Wednesday.

    It seems to me Mia is and will be an intelligent person. Great work.

    <abbr>Jim Gaudets last blog post..The Secret - Do you believe?</abbr>
  • An artist can take what seem to be a trivial task and create an image that leaves a long lasting imprint in our collective consciousness.

    <abbr>Chriss last blog post..My Back</abbr>
  • Fluerty girl (Writer Dad's Mom
    Hi Sean, bet you never thought I could do this! Pancakes rock! Yours rock and mine rock even more! (ha ha). Family breakfast is a great tradition. Many important issues can be chewed and digested over a good plate of chow! You must do a post on our family Bake N Broil excursions, for better or worse. Unfortunately, at times the food was glorious and the conversations ptomaine (or non-existent). I always enjoy "Grammy night" dinners (once a week) because they are warm and fuzzy. Luv ya!
  • How funny, my family also had a pancake tradition when I was younger. Except it was on Sundays and my mom would always make a big breakfast that included pancakes.

    It's so great that you're that sensitive to your children and helping them deal with change. I have to say that even now, there are traditions that truly matter to me involving my family that I would never want to see abandoned. Some change is good, but certain moments of familiarity that run through the course of our lives are just as valuable.

    <abbr>Janines last blog post..Reading to Write.</abbr>
  • What a great ritual: walking to the pancake-place every Sunday with the family. I read somewhere that we're scared of change because it means a part of us has to die to make room for the new. Some people just seem to be more in touch with the cycle of death and rebirth than others . . .
  • "We are more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose." Aye, Writer Dad. Like a hawk a zero in on my prey. Good Day and the best to you. E

    <abbr>Ellen Wilsons last blog post..Work it Like a Turkish Pop Star</abbr>
  • Yum, pancakes. Might be breakfast for dinner at my house... ;)

    <abbr>hanks last blog post..Bah With Flooding the Blogosphere With Too Much of the Same (Hanks Weekly Hangouts #53 - October 11, 2008)</abbr>
  • I dont always comment but Im always here reading, WD.

    you have such a gift with words. your ability to convey your message.

    such a gift to US and to your children.

    <abbr>MizFits last blog post..Monday Facetime: The Other Side of the PINK Couch.</abbr>
  • Dot
    Helping children deal with change is SO important. I still remember some of the changes in my childhood where I lost a lot, even though later I may have gained other things. Unlike in your family, the changes in mine were sudden, not explained, and enforced with an iron fist. How to make a child scared of change? Do it my family's way.

    <abbr>Dots last blog post..My Hideous Life</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Anne Cleveland: It's a subliminal thing. I thought I had my fill from yesterday, but after reading the word pancake a couple dozen times, I'm smelling the syrup. I hope I didn't make your tummy rumble.

    Jamie: I think about their memories every day. I am one of the principle architects of the world that is shaped around them. It's a serious job, and I never want to drop the ball.

    Oktober Five: Traditions definitely tip the scales over experiences. I can think of the experiences of my childhood with effort, but the recalling tradition is as simple as closing my eyes.

    Vered: Thank you, Vered, my constant reader. No scanning means the world to me.

    Wendi: Sunday breakfast is definitely a tradition I aped from my own childhood. I hope every day that I am giving my children new traditions to take with them on their own someday.

    Patricia: We do pizza on Friday (movie night), another fine tradition. You're right, I think tradition gives us comfort. That's why we love December, it's chock full of both.

    Dave: Yeah, what is it with that? There was a streak of sadness, Dave. Thanks for catching it. It's not too late to build the traditions, but there's no doubt you should start.

    Rita: Both Mia and Max responded exactly how we thought they would; Mia perhaps more exuberant than expected. Mia will be coming home from school, no longer having to share. Max is losing his daytime playmates. What he's gaining, six months alone with Mommy and Daddy, is priceless and will stay with him forever.

    James: Pancakes all around!
  • Sweet story. I am now hungry for pancakes too!

    <abbr>Jamess last blog post..Finally!</abbr>
  • Sean,
    A lovely story, beautifully told. I had to read it a few times (this is becoming a more common theme with me at blogs). It seems to me that Max DID get it...he just processed it differently. You have such a warm and close family, yet you are all individuals as well. Because Max's response was different from Mia's, and perhaps not what you expected, doesn't mean he didn't understand. Perhaps he understood on terms that were easier for HIM to deal with change emotionally. :-)

    Rita

    <abbr>Ritas last blog post..CSIU: Ethiopia – The Series Premiere</abbr>
  • You have an uncanny knack of linking biology to food. Are you trying to help me lose weight? :lol:

    I’m going to regret it if I don’t build some traditions into our family life. I had plenty of excuses before. Not so much now.

    I know your story was a happy one, but the small streak of sadness gripped me more.

    Nice job Writer Dad.

    <abbr>Dave Fowlers last blog post..The Hundred Square</abbr>
  • Patricia
    Really nice story.I think family traditions can give us support when we have to deal with changes. We've always shared our family changes with our kids , and they always remember those moments as one of the wonderful things we have as a family.We had Saturday pizzas (we still have them when we can, one of our kids got married last March, so we have one more kid at the table) which we made together and are now part of these priceless moments our kids will keep in their hearts.
  • Beautiful story Sean, I love the traditions. My oldest kids-grown now- talk about the traditions of their childhood and insisted on passing them on to the youngest two.. Its nice to know how much they were appreciated, it helps to keep them up on the weary days to know how much they matter.

    <abbr>Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirationss last blog post..My Dog Missed the Memo</abbr>
  • Sigh.

    You write beautifully.

    No scanning your posts, even if I wanted to. :)

    <abbr>Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..Women Who Say No To Photoshopping</abbr>
  • In response to Jamie's comment (and the article of course), I've been thinking about the difference between traditions (like Pancake Wednesdays) and experiences (like visiting the Grand Canyon). I think the traditions that we establish are a million times more important than the experiences we try to give our children. For example, every summer my family would go on a long road trip. The destination was usually different. Despite the sometimes 24 hour car rides through the Arizona desert in a van without A/C, I look back fondly on these summer vacations. However, it's wasn't the destination or the experience we had their that necessarily made it fun--it was the tradition. Good traditions are priceless and timeless; experiences don't hold the same emotional value and they tend to fade with time.
  • It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.
  • It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.

    <abbr>Jamie Simmermans last blog post..No Regrets: Looking Ahead</abbr>
  • A really sweet and loving story. Made me hungry for pancakes.
    Anne Cleveland
  • Writer Dad
    Eric: Mia can almost always be counted on in such situations. Having kids will change your life in every way, and on the most fundamental level, but you will love it and wonder how you ever did without it.

    Scribble: I love this story! I could totally see how that could happen to us.

    Oktober Five: Thanks for liking that. I had a dickens of a time ending the post. That only came after coming back to it several times.

    Beth: When I was little, we used to go to the same restaurant every Sunday. I loved it, my sister didn't. We both loved the waffles at our Grandma's house though.

    CK Lunchbox: My story would've been way cooler if it was donuts instead of pancakes, and George Clooney instead of the brand new waitress who wouldn't fill my water.

    Bamboo Forest: Thank you, Bamboo. That's very kind. I do try to put care into everything I do. Sometimes I fall short, but then I come back better.
  • Pancakes, are almost a festive meal I think.

    I can tell a lot of care went into the preschool you ran. And, when closing shop, the same care and consideration was invested, too. That's the sign of a noble business man.

    <abbr>Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Paths to Excessive Wealth</abbr>
  • It never ceases to amaze me how perceptive kids are. You can never say a word and they seem to sense something's different. I think Max's question about the pancakes it's a classic example of kids feeling a need to hold onto some sort of an anchor to ease them through the idea of change. That you are so conscious to include your children's feelings into the big decisions of your life pays big dividends later.

    This post was gut wrenching for me in that it reminded me of trying to explain to my boys about the divorce and it's not a one-time conversation as they process things over time and ask questions about it on a regular basis.

    Pancakes have always been a big tradition on saturday mornings. When I could see the boys, I'd make them ones with whipped cream and sprinkles or try to make shapes with the batter. With my step-daughters, they love pancakes a little too much.
    http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com/2008/05/make-me-some-pancakes-funnyman.html

    <abbr>CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Clooney & 12 Boston Creams</abbr>
  • Ritual is so important. And I think it's especially important to mark important life passages. I like the way you marked this change for your family.

    It's funny how almost everyone seems to have a "big breakfast" ritual. Ours was on Sunday after mass.

    @Betsy, that is so fabulous!

    <abbr>Beths last blog post..MonHaibun: Teacher</abbr>
  • "Every change isn’t good, but we’re more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose."

    That's golden and fluffy! I love it.

    The other day, my brother said something like, "When you find your purpose in life, life becomes fun." I think his phrase has more fluff than golden, but your words reminded me of the never-ending quest to find out my purpose--to find meaning.

    <abbr>Oktober Fives last blog post..What Will You Do When You Find Out Who You Are?</abbr>
  • Change can be difficult for kids. When we moved to our house, ten years ago, we rented it and then a year later, the owner wanted to sell. We started looking for somewhere else to move to. The youngest was five. We looked at a wonderful house, one I could easily have lived in and loved but turning to enquire what the lads thought, I saw the little one, tears rolling silently down his cheeks, his 'blanky' balled up against his face (for comfort). I was so surprised. Or rental home wasn't that nice frankly, but to him, it was home and it meant everything to him. So we bought it and are still here today. Now all of us would love a new home but can't afford to move. Funny how it works out!!
    Scribble.

    <abbr>Scribbles last blog post..Stop Press - Desperate times.</abbr>
  • Great story Sean. I found myself rooting for you and your wife when the moment truth presented itself. I was hoping Mia would back you up and...SCORE!!!...she pulled through. I'm really looking forward to having kids and the stories of your wonderful family really 'fan the flames' so to speak.

    <abbr>Eric Hamms last blog post..Simplicity: Get Rid Of Crap Week!</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Matthew: It doesn't have to be scary as long as you don't let the moment sneak up on you. Plan for it, and you put yourself in the driver's seat.

    Blogger Dad: I wanted my response to be both golden and fluffy. Thanks for noticing.

    Kool Aid: He's definitely his own little man, but his sister does wield a lot of influence. This time, I believe that influence will work in our favor.

    Hayden: I could definitely go for some more of their pancakes right nor, but I can wait until Wednesday for more of mine.

    Betsy: Exactly.

    Max: That's a good description of Max. He's very playful, but he has a serious, soulful, quiet side as well.

    Kip: You're absolutely right. We did Sunday breakfast when I was a kid, and I think of it every time I'm at breakfast with my own family. When I was really little, we did the old fashioned waffle thing at my grandparent's house. I've had better waffles than my grandma's, but hers are the ones I taste.

    Chase: Once we understand, then our choices have more depth. It was important to choose the right moment and not hurry into it. Daisy gets the credit for that. I wanted to tell them five minutes before we knew what we were doing.
  • Every sunday growing up, our family of 7 sat down to eat waffles. It was an old iron with a stone under 1 leg and took forver to cook (15 minutes). 8 tiny sections were divided amongs the 7 and 1 fight over the last (usually given to me as the "growing boy"). It was an agonizing ritual, but a 2 hour time for family to be family, that marble table growing so precious, when we finally moved my parents, it was cut into pieces for each of us children (no extra for the grown man this time).

    You are right to consider how important some moments are, but I think it will be the regular ritual of pancakes which will matter to them, rather than the conversation on that porch.

    <abbr>Kip de Molls last blog post..Broken Mirrors</abbr>
  • Sal
    We have pancake Saturdays. Every Saturday morning, for the last year and a half, I have gotten up early, put on some coffee, made pancakes, eggs, and sometimes bacon. It is amazing to see the smell of food wafting through the house, waking up the family easier than the electronic rooster that crowes every morning.

    Things like that, are great ways to shape memories. I seem to remember more what happens around the breakfast table on Saturday than any other day of the week.

    Oh, and Max, you don't burn slow, you ponder over great ideas. I get it. I do the same thing. It isn't the speed at which you answer, but the depth of your response.

    <abbr>Sals last blog post..The Changing of the Guard</abbr>
  • It's great that you took such time and effort in preparing everyone for the change.

    People need time and they need to understand the whys behind it as well. That's why I always let my students know the importance of what we are learning in class. Once they know the reasons why something is important, they focus better and do better work.

    <abbr>Chase Marchs last blog post..Twice as Much Work</abbr>
  • "We'll always have Paris Pancake Wednesdays.

    <abbr>Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..BAIL-OUT — YOUR TRAVEL BUDGET AND YOUR LIFE</abbr>
  • Thanks, Sean, now I am totally craving pancakes. Delicious, fuluffy pancakes with apricot syrup, YUM.

    GAH! I think I want to participate in 'pancake Mondays' now.

    <abbr>Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How I Woke Up at 6am Voluntarily</abbr>
  • "Max is more of a slow burn, but Mia’s influence will channel his heat."

    I love that! That one simple sentence speaks volumes. Isn't it amazing how the older sibling guides the younger one? I see it every day with my son and daughter.

    I think you're in for a great ride with those two.

    <abbr>Kool Aids last blog post..Losing my chi to Barbie</abbr>
  • That was a sweet, sweet story. Your son's response was golden! May your pancakes be plentiful and your syrup cups overflowing.

    Thank you for sharing.

    <abbr>Blogger Dads last blog post..Monday musings and costume updates</abbr>
  • Your Mia is a smart girl (but you already knew that). I wonder what it'll feel like to sit with my son and explain a life changing event that will happen, that will affect his very existence as he knows it.

    I can see it now, and it feels scary.

    <abbr>Matthew Drydens last blog post..A Warm Place</abbr>
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