When you are through changing, you are through.
~Bruce Barton
We’ve been going to Pancake Tavern, a small restaurant ten blocks from our house, since Mia’s seed was just a sprout. It’s the sort of place that does a few things well, rather than plenty, pushing for par. I make pancakes for the preschoolers every Wednesday, but I still order a stack of these fluffy flapjacks every time I’m there.
For several years, our Sunday ritual was a stroll to the restaurant while streets were still empty; holding hands, counting sparrows, and playing “I Spy.” Early, we’d slip into an empty booth, slowly indulge, than walk off the first several mouthfuls of our meal.
Time’s marched and we’ve gone less, but the ritual’s never vanished.
When our children are grown, flipping pancakes in their kitchens or holding menus for their little ones, a single memory from any one of several dozen scrumptious Sundays will most certainly seize their senses.
We went to the Tavern this morning, not just to fill our tummies, but to turn a page in our story. The last time was Labor Day weekend, the restaurant’s final fleeting hours in its first, familiar location. It was so hot that day, we didn’t order coffee. This morning, the first nip of the changing season chewed on our ears as we stepped between fallen leaves.
We strolled to the new spot, three blocks closer to our porch. It was there, outside on the Tavern’s new patio, where we first told Max and Mia the news that we were closing our preschool.
Daisy and I carefully crafted the chance to tell our children the news. We were delicate with how we transitioned our families; it was paramount we give the same consideration to a succession of moments which would gum in our children’s minds forever.
Our preschool unit this month is about change. Max has sat for every lesson, fingers folded, learning about getting bigger and moving on to something better. He is ready at the restaurant, when he unfolds his hands and asks, “Why did the Pancake Tavern get different?” His right hand’s in front now, flat enough to balance a tray of cookies.
“Because they wanted to move to someplace bigger,” Mia says. She doesn’t so much as pause the pink pencil passing over her picture.
I squeeze Daisy’s hand.
“Why do you think they wanted something bigger?” I ask.
Mia looks up from her drawing. “Because they wanted to serve more people, and make more money.”
Bingo.
We explained that we were closing our preschool, so we could reach more students through the computer.
Mia was a million miles over the moon; maybe more. Max just stared past us, toward the passerby on the sidewalk, as if they might be able to tell him whether or not he would see his friends the following summer.
“What are you thinking?” Daisy touches his cheek after a quiet moment, and pulls it toward her.
“Will we still have Pancakes Wednesdays?”
“Wednesdays” he says an octave higher.
“Of course,” I say. “We’ll always have Pancake Wednesdays.”
Mia put her arms around her brother and kissed him on his forehead. “What color do you want your new room to be?”
“BLUE,” he squeals.
It was pivotal for Mia to get it. Max is more of a slow burn, but Mia’s influence will channel his heat.
Every change isn’t good, but we’re more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose. These days are the end of something wonderful, and the beginning of something better. There are three people in the world who see it that way, and each one of us will help along the fourth.
Writer Dad
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About Sean Platt
Your Mia is a smart girl (but you already knew that). I wonder what it’ll feel like to sit with my son and explain a life changing event that will happen, that will affect his very existence as he knows it.
I can see it now, and it feels scary.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..A Warm Place
Your Mia is a smart girl (but you already knew that). I wonder what it’ll feel like to sit with my son and explain a life changing event that will happen, that will affect his very existence as he knows it.
I can see it now, and it feels scary.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..A Warm Place
That was a sweet, sweet story. Your son’s response was golden! May your pancakes be plentiful and your syrup cups overflowing.
Thank you for sharing.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Monday musings and costume updates
That was a sweet, sweet story. Your son’s response was golden! May your pancakes be plentiful and your syrup cups overflowing.
Thank you for sharing.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Monday musings and costume updates
“Max is more of a slow burn, but Mia’s influence will channel his heat.”
I love that! That one simple sentence speaks volumes. Isn’t it amazing how the older sibling guides the younger one? I see it every day with my son and daughter.
I think you’re in for a great ride with those two.
Kool Aids last blog post..Losing my chi to Barbie
“Max is more of a slow burn, but Mia’s influence will channel his heat.”
I love that! That one simple sentence speaks volumes. Isn’t it amazing how the older sibling guides the younger one? I see it every day with my son and daughter.
I think you’re in for a great ride with those two.
Kool Aids last blog post..Losing my chi to Barbie
Thanks, Sean, now I am totally craving pancakes. Delicious, fuluffy pancakes with apricot syrup, YUM.
GAH! I think I want to participate in ‘pancake Mondays’ now.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How I Woke Up at 6am Voluntarily
Thanks, Sean, now I am totally craving pancakes. Delicious, fuluffy pancakes with apricot syrup, YUM.
GAH! I think I want to participate in ‘pancake Mondays’ now.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..How I Woke Up at 6am Voluntarily
“We’ll always have
ParisPancake Wednesdays.Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..BAIL-OUT — YOUR TRAVEL BUDGET AND YOUR LIFE
“We’ll always have
ParisPancake Wednesdays.Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..BAIL-OUT — YOUR TRAVEL BUDGET AND YOUR LIFE
It’s great that you took such time and effort in preparing everyone for the change.
People need time and they need to understand the whys behind it as well. That’s why I always let my students know the importance of what we are learning in class. Once they know the reasons why something is important, they focus better and do better work.
Chase Marchs last blog post..Twice as Much Work
It’s great that you took such time and effort in preparing everyone for the change.
People need time and they need to understand the whys behind it as well. That’s why I always let my students know the importance of what we are learning in class. Once they know the reasons why something is important, they focus better and do better work.
Chase Marchs last blog post..Twice as Much Work
We have pancake Saturdays. Every Saturday morning, for the last year and a half, I have gotten up early, put on some coffee, made pancakes, eggs, and sometimes bacon. It is amazing to see the smell of food wafting through the house, waking up the family easier than the electronic rooster that crowes every morning.
Things like that, are great ways to shape memories. I seem to remember more what happens around the breakfast table on Saturday than any other day of the week.
Oh, and Max, you don’t burn slow, you ponder over great ideas. I get it. I do the same thing. It isn’t the speed at which you answer, but the depth of your response.
Sals last blog post..The Changing of the Guard
We have pancake Saturdays. Every Saturday morning, for the last year and a half, I have gotten up early, put on some coffee, made pancakes, eggs, and sometimes bacon. It is amazing to see the smell of food wafting through the house, waking up the family easier than the electronic rooster that crowes every morning.
Things like that, are great ways to shape memories. I seem to remember more what happens around the breakfast table on Saturday than any other day of the week.
Oh, and Max, you don’t burn slow, you ponder over great ideas. I get it. I do the same thing. It isn’t the speed at which you answer, but the depth of your response.
Sals last blog post..The Changing of the Guard
Every sunday growing up, our family of 7 sat down to eat waffles. It was an old iron with a stone under 1 leg and took forver to cook (15 minutes). 8 tiny sections were divided amongs the 7 and 1 fight over the last (usually given to me as the “growing boy”). It was an agonizing ritual, but a 2 hour time for family to be family, that marble table growing so precious, when we finally moved my parents, it was cut into pieces for each of us children (no extra for the grown man this time).
You are right to consider how important some moments are, but I think it will be the regular ritual of pancakes which will matter to them, rather than the conversation on that porch.
Kip de Molls last blog post..Broken Mirrors
Every sunday growing up, our family of 7 sat down to eat waffles. It was an old iron with a stone under 1 leg and took forver to cook (15 minutes). 8 tiny sections were divided amongs the 7 and 1 fight over the last (usually given to me as the “growing boy”). It was an agonizing ritual, but a 2 hour time for family to be family, that marble table growing so precious, when we finally moved my parents, it was cut into pieces for each of us children (no extra for the grown man this time).
You are right to consider how important some moments are, but I think it will be the regular ritual of pancakes which will matter to them, rather than the conversation on that porch.
Kip de Molls last blog post..Broken Mirrors
Matthew: It doesn’t have to be scary as long as you don’t let the moment sneak up on you. Plan for it, and you put yourself in the driver’s seat.
Blogger Dad: I wanted my response to be both golden and fluffy. Thanks for noticing.
Kool Aid: He’s definitely his own little man, but his sister does wield a lot of influence. This time, I believe that influence will work in our favor.
Hayden: I could definitely go for some more of their pancakes right nor, but I can wait until Wednesday for more of mine.
Betsy: Exactly.
Max: That’s a good description of Max. He’s very playful, but he has a serious, soulful, quiet side as well.
Kip: You’re absolutely right. We did Sunday breakfast when I was a kid, and I think of it every time I’m at breakfast with my own family. When I was really little, we did the old fashioned waffle thing at my grandparent’s house. I’ve had better waffles than my grandma’s, but hers are the ones I taste.
Chase: Once we understand, then our choices have more depth. It was important to choose the right moment and not hurry into it. Daisy gets the credit for that. I wanted to tell them five minutes before we knew what we were doing.
Great story Sean. I found myself rooting for you and your wife when the moment truth presented itself. I was hoping Mia would back you up and…SCORE!!!…she pulled through. I’m really looking forward to having kids and the stories of your wonderful family really ‘fan the flames’ so to speak.
Eric Hamms last blog post..Simplicity: Get Rid Of Crap Week!
Matthew: It doesn’t have to be scary as long as you don’t let the moment sneak up on you. Plan for it, and you put yourself in the driver’s seat.
Blogger Dad: I wanted my response to be both golden and fluffy. Thanks for noticing.
Kool Aid: He’s definitely his own little man, but his sister does wield a lot of influence. This time, I believe that influence will work in our favor.
Hayden: I could definitely go for some more of their pancakes right nor, but I can wait until Wednesday for more of mine.
Betsy: Exactly.
Max: That’s a good description of Max. He’s very playful, but he has a serious, soulful, quiet side as well.
Kip: You’re absolutely right. We did Sunday breakfast when I was a kid, and I think of it every time I’m at breakfast with my own family. When I was really little, we did the old fashioned waffle thing at my grandparent’s house. I’ve had better waffles than my grandma’s, but hers are the ones I taste.
Chase: Once we understand, then our choices have more depth. It was important to choose the right moment and not hurry into it. Daisy gets the credit for that. I wanted to tell them five minutes before we knew what we were doing.
Great story Sean. I found myself rooting for you and your wife when the moment truth presented itself. I was hoping Mia would back you up and…SCORE!!!…she pulled through. I’m really looking forward to having kids and the stories of your wonderful family really ‘fan the flames’ so to speak.
Eric Hamms last blog post..Simplicity: Get Rid Of Crap Week!
Change can be difficult for kids. When we moved to our house, ten years ago, we rented it and then a year later, the owner wanted to sell. We started looking for somewhere else to move to. The youngest was five. We looked at a wonderful house, one I could easily have lived in and loved but turning to enquire what the lads thought, I saw the little one, tears rolling silently down his cheeks, his ‘blanky’ balled up against his face (for comfort). I was so surprised. Or rental home wasn’t that nice frankly, but to him, it was home and it meant everything to him. So we bought it and are still here today. Now all of us would love a new home but can’t afford to move. Funny how it works out!!
Scribble.
Scribbles last blog post..Stop Press – Desperate times.
Change can be difficult for kids. When we moved to our house, ten years ago, we rented it and then a year later, the owner wanted to sell. We started looking for somewhere else to move to. The youngest was five. We looked at a wonderful house, one I could easily have lived in and loved but turning to enquire what the lads thought, I saw the little one, tears rolling silently down his cheeks, his ‘blanky’ balled up against his face (for comfort). I was so surprised. Or rental home wasn’t that nice frankly, but to him, it was home and it meant everything to him. So we bought it and are still here today. Now all of us would love a new home but can’t afford to move. Funny how it works out!!
Scribble.
Scribbles last blog post..Stop Press – Desperate times.
“Every change isn’t good, but we’re more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose.”
That’s golden and fluffy! I love it.
The other day, my brother said something like, “When you find your purpose in life, life becomes fun.” I think his phrase has more fluff than golden, but your words reminded me of the never-ending quest to find out my purpose–to find meaning.
Oktober Fives last blog post..What Will You Do When You Find Out Who You Are?
“Every change isn’t good, but we’re more likely to move forward when we believe in our purpose.”
That’s golden and fluffy! I love it.
The other day, my brother said something like, “When you find your purpose in life, life becomes fun.” I think his phrase has more fluff than golden, but your words reminded me of the never-ending quest to find out my purpose–to find meaning.
Oktober Fives last blog post..What Will You Do When You Find Out Who You Are?
Ritual is so important. And I think it’s especially important to mark important life passages. I like the way you marked this change for your family.
It’s funny how almost everyone seems to have a “big breakfast” ritual. Ours was on Sunday after mass.
@Betsy, that is so fabulous!
Beths last blog post..MonHaibun: Teacher
Ritual is so important. And I think it’s especially important to mark important life passages. I like the way you marked this change for your family.
It’s funny how almost everyone seems to have a “big breakfast” ritual. Ours was on Sunday after mass.
@Betsy, that is so fabulous!
Beths last blog post..MonHaibun: Teacher
It never ceases to amaze me how perceptive kids are. You can never say a word and they seem to sense something’s different. I think Max’s question about the pancakes it’s a classic example of kids feeling a need to hold onto some sort of an anchor to ease them through the idea of change. That you are so conscious to include your children’s feelings into the big decisions of your life pays big dividends later.
This post was gut wrenching for me in that it reminded me of trying to explain to my boys about the divorce and it’s not a one-time conversation as they process things over time and ask questions about it on a regular basis.
Pancakes have always been a big tradition on saturday mornings. When I could see the boys, I’d make them ones with whipped cream and sprinkles or try to make shapes with the batter. With my step-daughters, they love pancakes a little too much.
http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com/2008/05/make-me-some-pancakes-funnyman.html
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Clooney & 12 Boston Creams
It never ceases to amaze me how perceptive kids are. You can never say a word and they seem to sense something’s different. I think Max’s question about the pancakes it’s a classic example of kids feeling a need to hold onto some sort of an anchor to ease them through the idea of change. That you are so conscious to include your children’s feelings into the big decisions of your life pays big dividends later.
This post was gut wrenching for me in that it reminded me of trying to explain to my boys about the divorce and it’s not a one-time conversation as they process things over time and ask questions about it on a regular basis.
Pancakes have always been a big tradition on saturday mornings. When I could see the boys, I’d make them ones with whipped cream and sprinkles or try to make shapes with the batter. With my step-daughters, they love pancakes a little too much.
http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com/2008/05/make-me-some-pancakes-funnyman.html
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Clooney & 12 Boston Creams
Pancakes, are almost a festive meal I think.
I can tell a lot of care went into the preschool you ran. And, when closing shop, the same care and consideration was invested, too. That’s the sign of a noble business man.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Paths to Excessive Wealth
Pancakes, are almost a festive meal I think.
I can tell a lot of care went into the preschool you ran. And, when closing shop, the same care and consideration was invested, too. That’s the sign of a noble business man.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Paths to Excessive Wealth
Eric: Mia can almost always be counted on in such situations. Having kids will change your life in every way, and on the most fundamental level, but you will love it and wonder how you ever did without it.
Scribble: I love this story! I could totally see how that could happen to us.
Oktober Five: Thanks for liking that. I had a dickens of a time ending the post. That only came after coming back to it several times.
Beth: When I was little, we used to go to the same restaurant every Sunday. I loved it, my sister didn’t. We both loved the waffles at our Grandma’s house though.
CK Lunchbox: My story would’ve been way cooler if it was donuts instead of pancakes, and George Clooney instead of the brand new waitress who wouldn’t fill my water.
Bamboo Forest: Thank you, Bamboo. That’s very kind. I do try to put care into everything I do. Sometimes I fall short, but then I come back better.
Eric: Mia can almost always be counted on in such situations. Having kids will change your life in every way, and on the most fundamental level, but you will love it and wonder how you ever did without it.
Scribble: I love this story! I could totally see how that could happen to us.
Oktober Five: Thanks for liking that. I had a dickens of a time ending the post. That only came after coming back to it several times.
Beth: When I was little, we used to go to the same restaurant every Sunday. I loved it, my sister didn’t. We both loved the waffles at our Grandma’s house though.
CK Lunchbox: My story would’ve been way cooler if it was donuts instead of pancakes, and George Clooney instead of the brand new waitress who wouldn’t fill my water.
Bamboo Forest: Thank you, Bamboo. That’s very kind. I do try to put care into everything I do. Sometimes I fall short, but then I come back better.
A really sweet and loving story. Made me hungry for pancakes.
Anne Cleveland
A really sweet and loving story. Made me hungry for pancakes.
Anne Cleveland
It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..No Regrets: Looking Ahead
It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..No Regrets: Looking Ahead
It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.
It never ceases to amaze me that you put so much effort into building memories for your kids. Someday when they are grown, they will thank you for that~ and they will take time to make memories for their own children.
In response to Jamie’s comment (and the article of course), I’ve been thinking about the difference between traditions (like Pancake Wednesdays) and experiences (like visiting the Grand Canyon). I think the traditions that we establish are a million times more important than the experiences we try to give our children. For example, every summer my family would go on a long road trip. The destination was usually different. Despite the sometimes 24 hour car rides through the Arizona desert in a van without A/C, I look back fondly on these summer vacations. However, it’s wasn’t the destination or the experience we had their that necessarily made it fun–it was the tradition. Good traditions are priceless and timeless; experiences don’t hold the same emotional value and they tend to fade with time.
In response to Jamie’s comment (and the article of course), I’ve been thinking about the difference between traditions (like Pancake Wednesdays) and experiences (like visiting the Grand Canyon). I think the traditions that we establish are a million times more important than the experiences we try to give our children. For example, every summer my family would go on a long road trip. The destination was usually different. Despite the sometimes 24 hour car rides through the Arizona desert in a van without A/C, I look back fondly on these summer vacations. However, it’s wasn’t the destination or the experience we had their that necessarily made it fun–it was the tradition. Good traditions are priceless and timeless; experiences don’t hold the same emotional value and they tend to fade with time.
Sigh.
You write beautifully.
No scanning your posts, even if I wanted to. :)
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Women Who Say No To Photoshopping
Sigh.
You write beautifully.
No scanning your posts, even if I wanted to. :)
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Women Who Say No To Photoshopping
Beautiful story Sean, I love the traditions. My oldest kids-grown now- talk about the traditions of their childhood and insisted on passing them on to the youngest two.. Its nice to know how much they were appreciated, it helps to keep them up on the weary days to know how much they matter.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..My Dog Missed the Memo
Beautiful story Sean, I love the traditions. My oldest kids-grown now- talk about the traditions of their childhood and insisted on passing them on to the youngest two.. Its nice to know how much they were appreciated, it helps to keep them up on the weary days to know how much they matter.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..My Dog Missed the Memo
Really nice story.I think family traditions can give us support when we have to deal with changes. We’ve always shared our family changes with our kids , and they always remember those moments as one of the wonderful things we have as a family.We had Saturday pizzas (we still have them when we can, one of our kids got married last March, so we have one more kid at the table) which we made together and are now part of these priceless moments our kids will keep in their hearts.
Really nice story.I think family traditions can give us support when we have to deal with changes. We’ve always shared our family changes with our kids , and they always remember those moments as one of the wonderful things we have as a family.We had Saturday pizzas (we still have them when we can, one of our kids got married last March, so we have one more kid at the table) which we made together and are now part of these priceless moments our kids will keep in their hearts.
You have an uncanny knack of linking biology to food. Are you trying to help me lose weight? :lol:
I’m going to regret it if I don’t build some traditions into our family life. I had plenty of excuses before. Not so much now.
I know your story was a happy one, but the small streak of sadness gripped me more.
Nice job Writer Dad.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..The Hundred Square
You have an uncanny knack of linking biology to food. Are you trying to help me lose weight? :lol:
I’m going to regret it if I don’t build some traditions into our family life. I had plenty of excuses before. Not so much now.
I know your story was a happy one, but the small streak of sadness gripped me more.
Nice job Writer Dad.
Dave Fowlers last blog post..The Hundred Square
Sean,
A lovely story, beautifully told. I had to read it a few times (this is becoming a more common theme with me at blogs). It seems to me that Max DID get it…he just processed it differently. You have such a warm and close family, yet you are all individuals as well. Because Max’s response was different from Mia’s, and perhaps not what you expected, doesn’t mean he didn’t understand. Perhaps he understood on terms that were easier for HIM to deal with change emotionally. :-)
Rita
Ritas last blog post..CSIU: Ethiopia – The Series Premiere
Sean,
A lovely story, beautifully told. I had to read it a few times (this is becoming a more common theme with me at blogs). It seems to me that Max DID get it…he just processed it differently. You have such a warm and close family, yet you are all individuals as well. Because Max’s response was different from Mia’s, and perhaps not what you expected, doesn’t mean he didn’t understand. Perhaps he understood on terms that were easier for HIM to deal with change emotionally. :-)
Rita
Ritas last blog post..CSIU: Ethiopia – The Series Premiere