You know who your children are.
It’s a rare parent-teacher conference that shines new light on your child’s character, at least if you spend a reasonable amount of time with them, and are mildly observant.
There are two types of parent-teacher conferences: honest and eggshells. Honest conferences leave you with tools to improve your role as your child’s first teacher, eggshells rob you of the opportunity.
I know who my children are, so do the teachers who are with them through the majority of their weekday daylight. I need those teachers to confirm what I know and illuminate what I don’t.
A conference should help parents nurture their children to become better learners. A teacher’s professional perspective – how they see your child interpreting their responsibilities as a student – will help you effectively navigate the best possible path to get them where you want them to go.
We work hard, so do our children. But all four of us would rather work smart than hard. A potent parent-teacher conference gives us an opportunity to work smarter together.
Haley and Ethan’s parent-teacher conferences were yesterday. Haley is in 4th grade and sees four different instructors throughout her school day. Cindy and I were able to meet with each of her teachers, plus Ethan’s.
Haley is a tornado of ideas with a bottomless well of creativity. She loves to be the boss, loathes to be wrong, at least publicly, and is nowhere near as confident with math as she is with art or language.
Ethan is an earnest, honest, and endlessly enthusiastic learner, eager to please and keep pace with his sister, but needs help understanding, no, believing, that slow and steady most often wins the race.
There’s wasn’t a single observation Cindy and I didn’t already know and wholeheartedly agree with. What made our conferences so wonderful was that all five teachers used direct language to praise our children for all we know they’re good at, and equally frank words to tell us what they could do better, then take the ball and keep charging, developing strategies we could all use to move forward together.
We know Haley needs help with her confidence in math, but to hear her math teacher say, “When Haley doesn’t want feel confident in a subject, she’ll try to avoid it entirely. WE can do better.”
We agree, she can, and we’re thankful for a teacher who will say so. Haley’s teachers agree she’s a wonderful communicator, and that while they don’t want to dim her enthusiasm, we all need to collectively work toward her understanding that there is a time and a place for everything. Which we are.
We know Ethan has been racing through his reading, blazing through Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban in days rather than the weeks it took him to read Chamber of Secrets, simply because he’s trying to keep pace with his sister. And yeah, I’m sure he read every word, but that’s like saying you read every sign you passed, speeding by on your way to work. Ethan’s teacher told us he needs to slow down on his reading so he can get more out of it, same thing we’ve been saying since he started Book III.
I love honesty, more than most things. And despite my tendency to go on and on (and on), I greatly appreciate direct language.
I want to help my children be the best that they can be, and am thankful for teachers who make it possible.
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About Sean Platt
Having been a teacher, I’m certain your children’s teachers appreciate your willingness to work with them, to take the criticism as well as the praise. So many parents these days only want to hear good things about their children and blame the teacher for the child’s shortcomings.
That said, yes teachers need to do their best and create strategies that will help them with the children they work with, but parents need to back the teachers and take responsibility as the child’s “first teacher”!
Great point!
Yes, you can’t expect the most of your conferences if you’re afraid to hear what Johnny did wrong. We love to hear what Johnny did wrong, though, lol. Helps us to know what we need to do right!
Timely-I’m preparing for a Tigermom appearance in our daughter’s classroom due to lack of direct language and a game plan to provide adequate challenges for her. We’ve spent years telling teachers not to sugarcoat with us, and it usually works except when their performance is what’s under the microscope.
What do you do when they are not holding up their end of the deal? There should be conferences held for the teachers to receive feedback, provided they are willing to strive to do their best.
Hi Page!
LOL on Tigermom. I love that. :)
That’s really hard. Truth is, most teachers aren’t receptive to feedback, at least in my opinion. These were the best conferences we’ve ever had, but we’re now in a private school, one that we moved 2,300 miles to attend. I think that when you have a teacher who isn’t doing their best, or has their laminated lesson plans, it just means you have more heavy lifting at home.
Your child will be better than most because you’re on top of it!
So, um, what if the parent and the teacher are the same person? Do we just talk to ourselves? :)
HAHAHA!!
Yeah, I think that would work. Just make sure you still cover the good and the bad.
It is so humbling to be on the other side of the desk during parent-teacher conferences. I am so grateful for the professionalism and candid conversations in our learning community. Every day is an opportunity to grow and I know I have grown 10 feet taller in the first trimester. By taking time to observe and listen to our children and giving them sacred space to contribute and practice their personal best, I feel we are on a journey that will help us evolve into creative and confident people. I am most happy that our teachers have taken the time to understand ALL children and teach to their strengths while supporting the “ones to grow on” with actions and words. We are extremely fortunate to have this kind of partnership so early in their educational life.
This is a really inetlliegnt way to answer the question.