“Finding a good quote about potty training is hard. I guess no one really wants to talk about it.”
~Writer Dad
Deciding when, and how to take our wee ones from diapers to deliverance is something every parent must face.
The common timeframe delivered by experts is somewhere between 18 months and 3 years, though I don’t believe that age is as relevant as readiness.
If our child can tell us about their dirty diaper, they’re probably ready.
If they can articulate their need to be clean, they’re probably ready.
If as an adult, they might remember a time when they strolled the house in diapers, then they’ve been ready for quite a while.
Toilet training might be the first major chasm we cross as parents. It involves us as much as them, and should be driven by careful thought. Learning to use the restroom isn’t just about losing the diaper, it’s about gaining personal responsibility.
When we allow our children to stay in diapers when they’re capable of doing otherwise, simply because they don’t want to take their next step or it’s more convenient for us, then we’re allowing them to make the rules, and setting a poor precedent, at a far too early age.
Worse, we’re teaching them that we’re comfortable with the idea of cleaning up after them, until they decide different.
I know what you’re thinking — “But my daughter’s only two.”
That may be true, but she’ll soon be four, then six… then sixteen.
Right now, she’s learning who she is, and those first years are paramount.
For some children, training is effortless, as easy as slipping vegetables into the mac and cheese. For others, it’s a trying time when our spawn will heavily assert their will.
This difficulty shouldn’t detour. Remember, it’s called potty training. We may have a little extra laundry, and a load of extra conflict, but the battle is relatively short, and when it’s over, our child is stronger and so are we.
This is all very pragmatic; yet perfectly practical parents seem to lose all perspective when it comes to potty training.
It’s delicate.
Either we hedge because of the anticipated difficulty, or we’re afraid of the damage to their psyche if we push too hard or too fast.
As far as cerebral ruin is concerned, I’m not suggesting that anyone wrap their children in chains until they can properly eliminate. I’m simply saying we should observe our children, for it is us who know them best.
When we’re confident they understand what’s happening, and what they’re supposed to do, and their bodies are capable of getting the job done, then we have no excuse as parents to stand idle and allow them to make messes for us to clean, with no accountability to themselves.
Potty training doesn’t begin when we finally decide to grit our teeth and buy a couple dozen pair of underwear. It’s an awareness that we should build into the conversation from the changing table on.
I know the subject’s touchy, and I certainly didn’t raise it to see my subscriber count drop, but Daisy and I have trained ten children in the last three years. If approached clinically, and in the right window, potty training is a positive and empowering experience.
Today’s wee-book was written from that experience. Please consider a purchase. It’s eight wonderful pages and prints beautifully. You can laminate it and let your little one hold it in their hand. It’s the first collaborative fruit from the Writer Dad tree; its success is fertilizer for more.
The awesome picture up top is from Dave at Blogger Dad. He’s melted a multitude of minutes to draw and format this wee-book, without seeing a single penny.
I hope to correct that this weekend, but either way, I’m glad we could offer potty training help to those who need it.
It’s been a great week. See you Monday.
Writer Dad
If you liked my words, please subscribe by RSS or email. I’ll be back again on Monday.
Going to the potty is something we must do. Mommies do it. Daddies do it. Even me and you…
Previous Friday releases: Mia Maria and Two Times the Kindergarten, Lucas Bright: I Know I’m Special, The Eighth Wonder of the World, and Bye Bye Butterfly.
About Sean Platt
I have nothing to add on the potty training conversation.
Though, I fully trust you are masterful at teaching the little ones the ways of proper elimination.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..The Stain Demon Can and Will Taint Your Life
I have nothing to add on the potty training conversation.
Though, I fully trust you are masterful at teaching the little ones the ways of proper elimination.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..The Stain Demon Can and Will Taint Your Life
Writer Dad,
I have no children, but can only imagine what a task it must be to potty train a child.
10 children in 3 years?
That definitely shows a great amount of knowledge on the subject, and an even greater amount of patience on both you and Daisy’s part.
I hope I don’t have to face this for another 10 years or so — :) But when I do, you’re who I’m coming for tips!
Blogger Dad, that’s a wonderful illustration!
Luis Grosss last blog post..8 Most Popular Posts Over The Summer
Writer Dad,
I have no children, but can only imagine what a task it must be to potty train a child.
10 children in 3 years?
That definitely shows a great amount of knowledge on the subject, and an even greater amount of patience on both you and Daisy’s part.
I hope I don’t have to face this for another 10 years or so — :) But when I do, you’re who I’m coming for tips!
Blogger Dad, that’s a wonderful illustration!
Luis Grosss last blog post..8 Most Popular Posts Over The Summer
Shape them early. I learned our brains shrink until we’re ~16 (but as it shrinks, we get smarter.) Bottom line – the strengths you build early are with you for life.
J.D. Meiers last blog post..3 Revealing Questions for Myth Busting
Shape them early. I learned our brains shrink until we’re ~16 (but as it shrinks, we get smarter.) Bottom line – the strengths you build early are with you for life.
J.D. Meiers last blog post..3 Revealing Questions for Myth Busting
You must be able to read my mind. My son is 18 1/2 months. I tried starting potty training with him a couple weeks ago but threw in the towel when too much else was going on. I trained my daughter at 18 months in 2 weeks and want to train my son sooner than later. Not more than 5 minutes ago, as I was going over the list for the day, did I decide that instead of buying diapers today, I was going to buy him a new potty that he’ll actually like and start training him today. Wish me luck!!
btw, I completely agree with you on your philosophy on this topic. if you can’t tell by my training two 18 month olds.
You must be able to read my mind. My son is 18 1/2 months. I tried starting potty training with him a couple weeks ago but threw in the towel when too much else was going on. I trained my daughter at 18 months in 2 weeks and want to train my son sooner than later. Not more than 5 minutes ago, as I was going over the list for the day, did I decide that instead of buying diapers today, I was going to buy him a new potty that he’ll actually like and start training him today. Wish me luck!!
btw, I completely agree with you on your philosophy on this topic. if you can’t tell by my training two 18 month olds.
Cool. When the time comes I shall remember this, WD.
Meanwhile, got any advice for “stop-throwing-your-spoon-on-the-floor” training and what about “stop-wriggling-and-getting-dressed-will-over-a-lot-faster” training?
Seamus Anthonys last blog post..Drugs Don’t Work? Try A Cosmic High…
Cool. When the time comes I shall remember this, WD.
Meanwhile, got any advice for “stop-throwing-your-spoon-on-the-floor” training and what about “stop-wriggling-and-getting-dressed-will-over-a-lot-faster” training?
Seamus Anthonys last blog post..Drugs Don’t Work? Try A Cosmic High…
Very good timing, Writer Dad!
My wife and I have just started to (playfully) train our son for potty. He’s just a year and 4 months, so I don’t have big expectations yet, but we thought we’d start early as he seems to be interested :)
So, your wee-book will be an interesting read!
Very good timing, Writer Dad!
My wife and I have just started to (playfully) train our son for potty. He’s just a year and 4 months, so I don’t have big expectations yet, but we thought we’d start early as he seems to be interested :)
So, your wee-book will be an interesting read!
It amazes me how toddlers will suddenly stop whatever they’re doing, focus intently, then they’ll grunt ‘Uh-uh-uhhh”.
And, without shame, they’ll crap their diapers. Right where they’re standing, in front of everyone.
Imagine doing that at a party, or at the office.
“Excuse me, boss, while I shit myself….Uhh-uhhh-uhhh….”.
To me (and I suspect most people), just the thought of doing that…feels SO VERY WRONG!!!
Yet for kids, it’s all part of a normal day.
Just goes to show how socially conidtionned we adults have become.
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
It amazes me how toddlers will suddenly stop whatever they’re doing, focus intently, then they’ll grunt ‘Uh-uh-uhhh”.
And, without shame, they’ll crap their diapers. Right where they’re standing, in front of everyone.
Imagine doing that at a party, or at the office.
“Excuse me, boss, while I shit myself….Uhh-uhhh-uhhh….”.
To me (and I suspect most people), just the thought of doing that…feels SO VERY WRONG!!!
Yet for kids, it’s all part of a normal day.
Just goes to show how socially conidtionned we adults have become.
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
When it comes to potty training, my strategy is: depends. Depends on if they want to wear Depends when their 16 or not.
When it comes to potty training, my strategy is: depends. Depends on if they want to wear Depends when their 16 or not.
Ah yes, we are going through this right now. Bella, for the first time a couple days ago came up to me and said, in that sweet innocent little voice “Daddy, I go potty” Now, we have tried this before in the past, but neither Jess nor I thought she was ready since she wasn’t complaining about being wet or anything.
Usually we set her on the potty and she just sits there and plays, but no “elimination” (man I love that term). This time was different. She actually went. We made a big commotion about it, whooping and hollering and all, and she got a treat for letting us know. She has done it more since then, but not on a regular basis.
So, on with the journey.
@Dave: That is an awesome pic dude. I love it!
Sals last blog post..Life, Liberty and the Persuit of Hurricane Parties
Ah yes, we are going through this right now. Bella, for the first time a couple days ago came up to me and said, in that sweet innocent little voice “Daddy, I go potty” Now, we have tried this before in the past, but neither Jess nor I thought she was ready since she wasn’t complaining about being wet or anything.
Usually we set her on the potty and she just sits there and plays, but no “elimination” (man I love that term). This time was different. She actually went. We made a big commotion about it, whooping and hollering and all, and she got a treat for letting us know. She has done it more since then, but not on a regular basis.
So, on with the journey.
@Dave: That is an awesome pic dude. I love it!
Sals last blog post..Life, Liberty and the Persuit of Hurricane Parties
I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on having any. The very thought of going through all of the stuff you guys do, including potty training, repels me.
But I’m not unsubscribing. I actually enjoy your stories! If you can write about stuff that repels me and still keep me visiting, that’s one great talent you’ve got. :)
Hooray for the release of your collaborative project!!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on having any. The very thought of going through all of the stuff you guys do, including potty training, repels me.
But I’m not unsubscribing. I actually enjoy your stories! If you can write about stuff that repels me and still keep me visiting, that’s one great talent you’ve got. :)
Hooray for the release of your collaborative project!!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
@Steph
Hooray! Another kindred spirit. Like you, I have zero interest in having kids of my own.
But Writer Dad’s stories are still great reading!
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@Steph
Hooray! Another kindred spirit. Like you, I have zero interest in having kids of my own.
But Writer Dad’s stories are still great reading!
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@Emily
I trained a son and a daughter to potty train several years ago. My daughter ended up training at about 18 months, but it took my son until he was 2 to take to it. Medically speaking, males sometimes train a little later than females, but of course, every child is different.
You’ll know when they’re ready.
Nimics last blog post..8 Easy Tips For An Eco-friendly Garden
@Emily
I trained a son and a daughter to potty train several years ago. My daughter ended up training at about 18 months, but it took my son until he was 2 to take to it. Medically speaking, males sometimes train a little later than females, but of course, every child is different.
You’ll know when they’re ready.
Nimics last blog post..8 Easy Tips For An Eco-friendly Garden
I’m just glad potty training is the distant past, now that my kids are 6 and 8.
I’m sure the teen year challenges will make me yearn for those simpler times, though.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Quirky, Yet Boring
I’m just glad potty training is the distant past, now that my kids are 6 and 8.
I’m sure the teen year challenges will make me yearn for those simpler times, though.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..Quirky, Yet Boring
LOL, my mother-in-law told me a story about my husband when he was potty training. Apparently his only objection was that the bathroom was too far away to walk. So he started using the closet!
It’s funny now, but I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t lose it if one of our children tried that.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..Interview With a Blogger
LOL, my mother-in-law told me a story about my husband when he was potty training. Apparently his only objection was that the bathroom was too far away to walk. So he started using the closet!
It’s funny now, but I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t lose it if one of our children tried that.
Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..Interview With a Blogger
@Friar: Me and you, buddy. Me and you. Sometimes I feel as though we’re the last people on earth like this, though I know we’re not. But people sure do think I can’t possibly be all woman. HUH.
If we were the last two people on earth, you and I, we’d go out just like that. No procreating to ruin the freedom!! Hahaha! :)
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
@Friar: Me and you, buddy. Me and you. Sometimes I feel as though we’re the last people on earth like this, though I know we’re not. But people sure do think I can’t possibly be all woman. HUH.
If we were the last two people on earth, you and I, we’d go out just like that. No procreating to ruin the freedom!! Hahaha! :)
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
OKAY – STOP.
Before anyone freaks out on me, it’s not all about freedom. It’s not ONLY about freedom, I should say. I’m not being selfish – I just have no interest at all in having kids. No maternal instinct, you could say. NONE.
(Or I lavish it all on my dog.)
Ironically, everyone’s kids flock to me. Always. We have a good time. But I’m glad to give them back at the end of the day!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
OKAY – STOP.
Before anyone freaks out on me, it’s not all about freedom. It’s not ONLY about freedom, I should say. I’m not being selfish – I just have no interest at all in having kids. No maternal instinct, you could say. NONE.
(Or I lavish it all on my dog.)
Ironically, everyone’s kids flock to me. Always. We have a good time. But I’m glad to give them back at the end of the day!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
Hi Writer Dad,
We were lucky in that our daughter showed readiness at age 3, and her preschool teachers pretty much did the training for us. We reinforced the potty lessons at home, of course, but the whole thing went very smoothly, with only about three accidents.
Now the trick is to train the child to wipe her bum from front to back — a very important habit for girls, especially.
Hi Writer Dad,
We were lucky in that our daughter showed readiness at age 3, and her preschool teachers pretty much did the training for us. We reinforced the potty lessons at home, of course, but the whole thing went very smoothly, with only about three accidents.
Now the trick is to train the child to wipe her bum from front to back — a very important habit for girls, especially.
@Steph
I like what Dr. Seuss says (who never had kids of his own).
“You raise ‘em…I’ll entertain ‘em”.
Not everyone has to be a Mommy or Daddy. The world needs crazy Uncles and/or Aunts like us.
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@Steph
I like what Dr. Seuss says (who never had kids of his own).
“You raise ‘em…I’ll entertain ‘em”.
Not everyone has to be a Mommy or Daddy. The world needs crazy Uncles and/or Aunts like us.
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
BOY…do I feel out of place here….I’m surrounded by parents regaling everone with with Potty stories.
I’m proud to say that in 35 years, I’ve never EVER had to wipe a kids’ bum.
Never plan to, either.
Parents..that’s YOUR job, not mine! :-D
Never
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
BOY…do I feel out of place here….I’m surrounded by parents regaling everone with with Potty stories.
I’m proud to say that in 35 years, I’ve never EVER had to wipe a kids’ bum.
Never plan to, either.
Parents..that’s YOUR job, not mine! :-D
Never
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
Man, look at that. I start talking poop and the message board just lights right up. Next Friday, it’s diarrhea time.
Bamboo: I’m a zen master of feces.
Luis: Blogger Dad’s work on this little trifle, is phenomenal.
J.D. : One of Daisy’s favorite sayings is, “Start early, finish strong.”
Emily: I wish you luck, think your awesome, and extend you my most genuine invitation to contact me if you need help in any way. Typically, boys are not as easy as girls. Seven of our ten have been boys, so we’ve been there.
Seamus: Don’t pick up the spoon. I know it sounds mean, but I’m serious. They throw it down, because we pick it up. When we stop, so do they. As far as getting dressed, pretend you’re leaving without them. It freaks them out, and they’re all like, “Wait, wait, wait for me Daddy!” You’ll have to hide your smile.
Jarkko Laine: You are awesome for a variety of reasons. It’s NEVER too early for exposure. I appreciate you buying the wee-book. Let me know what you think.
Friar: We have one boy now who doesn’t want to be trained. All the other kids start saying, “EEEWWW!” when he starts going. They all think he’s gross. Social conditioning starts early.
Ryan: That’s awesome.
Sal: Good luck. Making her feel special for doing it is a terrific tactic. Blogger Dad did a great job on all the illustrations. The one up top is from the final page. Download it and and read it to Bella. She’ll love it, and so will you. It discusses the process in rather blunt, Writer Dad, terms.
Steph: I was looking for you everywhere yesterday. I was calling, “Steph, Steph,” as I wandered down the corridors of my empty blog, but only my own voice bounced back. Seriously though, my sister, who is AWESOME, never plans on having children. She would make a great mom, but she knows herself well enough to know that she’d miss the freedom. And there’s no doubt about it, you WILL lose like 98% of it. A large part of your life, you WILL feel like a prisoner. I think it’s awesome that you know yourself well enough to know what you want, rather than doing what you think you’re supposed to. That takes a lot more courage. There are far too many people who shouldn’t be having kids who do. Kudos, Steph.
Friar: Thanks. I’m glad I can talk about feces and not have you skim.
Nimic: You’re correct. Seven of our ten were boys. All three girls were easier.
Vered: I’d rather deal with poop than attitude, any day.
Hayden: Potty stories + time = funny.
Steph: If you find yourself as the last woman on Earth, I take back everything I said. Please keep our species alive, even if the donor is a three-hundred fifty pound, one eyed amputee, who smells like sweaty sack. It’s your responsibility.
You’re not being selfish; just honest. But if you found yourself knocked up, the maternal instinct would kick right in. I guarantee it. Mine did, and I don’t have fallopian tubes.
Twizzle: Three accidents is excellent. Good job.
Friar: I’m thinking of starting a new blog: Steph and Friar talk about poop and kids. I need help thinking of a catchy domain name though.
Man, look at that. I start talking poop and the message board just lights right up. Next Friday, it’s diarrhea time.
Bamboo: I’m a zen master of feces.
Luis: Blogger Dad’s work on this little trifle, is phenomenal.
J.D. : One of Daisy’s favorite sayings is, “Start early, finish strong.”
Emily: I wish you luck, think your awesome, and extend you my most genuine invitation to contact me if you need help in any way. Typically, boys are not as easy as girls. Seven of our ten have been boys, so we’ve been there.
Seamus: Don’t pick up the spoon. I know it sounds mean, but I’m serious. They throw it down, because we pick it up. When we stop, so do they. As far as getting dressed, pretend you’re leaving without them. It freaks them out, and they’re all like, “Wait, wait, wait for me Daddy!” You’ll have to hide your smile.
Jarkko Laine: You are awesome for a variety of reasons. It’s NEVER too early for exposure. I appreciate you buying the wee-book. Let me know what you think.
Friar: We have one boy now who doesn’t want to be trained. All the other kids start saying, “EEEWWW!” when he starts going. They all think he’s gross. Social conditioning starts early.
Ryan: That’s awesome.
Sal: Good luck. Making her feel special for doing it is a terrific tactic. Blogger Dad did a great job on all the illustrations. The one up top is from the final page. Download it and and read it to Bella. She’ll love it, and so will you. It discusses the process in rather blunt, Writer Dad, terms.
Steph: I was looking for you everywhere yesterday. I was calling, “Steph, Steph,” as I wandered down the corridors of my empty blog, but only my own voice bounced back. Seriously though, my sister, who is AWESOME, never plans on having children. She would make a great mom, but she knows herself well enough to know that she’d miss the freedom. And there’s no doubt about it, you WILL lose like 98% of it. A large part of your life, you WILL feel like a prisoner. I think it’s awesome that you know yourself well enough to know what you want, rather than doing what you think you’re supposed to. That takes a lot more courage. There are far too many people who shouldn’t be having kids who do. Kudos, Steph.
Friar: Thanks. I’m glad I can talk about feces and not have you skim.
Nimic: You’re correct. Seven of our ten were boys. All three girls were easier.
Vered: I’d rather deal with poop than attitude, any day.
Hayden: Potty stories + time = funny.
Steph: If you find yourself as the last woman on Earth, I take back everything I said. Please keep our species alive, even if the donor is a three-hundred fifty pound, one eyed amputee, who smells like sweaty sack. It’s your responsibility.
You’re not being selfish; just honest. But if you found yourself knocked up, the maternal instinct would kick right in. I guarantee it. Mine did, and I don’t have fallopian tubes.
Twizzle: Three accidents is excellent. Good job.
Friar: I’m thinking of starting a new blog: Steph and Friar talk about poop and kids. I need help thinking of a catchy domain name though.
you make a good point and i say that with s*x. don’t wait to talk about it, start early. same with potty training.
my daughter learned to use the toilet when we ran out of pull-ups. i said oh well and she was good to go. of course it wasn’t that moment that she got her act together, but all the work that was done before.
you make a good point and i say that with s*x. don’t wait to talk about it, start early. same with potty training.
my daughter learned to use the toilet when we ran out of pull-ups. i said oh well and she was good to go. of course it wasn’t that moment that she got her act together, but all the work that was done before.
@Writer Dad
“Poop-Quest” :-D
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@Writer Dad
“Poop-Quest” :-D
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@WD: First I’m sorry. I worked like a fiend yesterday. I didn’t show up anywhere. And I should be doing that right now, too, which i sort of am, but this discussion has been too funny to miss out on.
Well, with me, I think the instinct would kick in. I’m not Cruella, after all. But there are some women…yeah. Let’s just say maternal’s not in their vocabulary. Poor kids.
I’m glad you think so much of me. Makes me feel happy…but do I think enough of you to keep the species alive even if the donor is a three-hundred-fifty pound, one-eyed amputee who smells like sweaty sack?? Hmmm, let me think about that for one split second – um…NO. I think you rock, but…
There you have it. The species would die with me. One last hurrah of greatness. (Pfft!)
Friar: if it were just you and C (and you know who I mean), would the species die off or would you be responsible? :)
PoopQuest?Are you making of me?
LOL!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
@WD: First I’m sorry. I worked like a fiend yesterday. I didn’t show up anywhere. And I should be doing that right now, too, which i sort of am, but this discussion has been too funny to miss out on.
Well, with me, I think the instinct would kick in. I’m not Cruella, after all. But there are some women…yeah. Let’s just say maternal’s not in their vocabulary. Poor kids.
I’m glad you think so much of me. Makes me feel happy…but do I think enough of you to keep the species alive even if the donor is a three-hundred-fifty pound, one-eyed amputee who smells like sweaty sack?? Hmmm, let me think about that for one split second – um…NO. I think you rock, but…
There you have it. The species would die with me. One last hurrah of greatness. (Pfft!)
Friar: if it were just you and C (and you know who I mean), would the species die off or would you be responsible? :)
PoopQuest?Are you making of me?
LOL!
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
duh. I mean making FUN of me…
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
duh. I mean making FUN of me…
stephs last blog post..Letting Go
@Steph
Given all the Mommy and Daddy bloggers out there, there probably WOULD be a huge demand for Poop-Quest. :-)
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
@Steph
Given all the Mommy and Daddy bloggers out there, there probably WOULD be a huge demand for Poop-Quest. :-)
Friars last blog post..Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.