This last year was a bolt of lightning with an endless flicker. It flew right by, but lingered all the way.
We’ve changed a lot. Can’t help it. The planet orbits and we evolve, inevitable as inhale and exhale.
Two weekends ago we had the annual Valentine’s Ball at our school, the same Father Daughter Dance I wrote about last year.
Mia and I had attended the two previous years together because Max had not yet started Kindergarten and tickets were limited. We didn’t want to take another child’s ticket.
This year, Max is in Kinder so it was our first time as a family. The children were a fountain of energy from first light to early star, sweet and happy all day long.
The four of us counted the many minutes until we could finally put on our fancy clothes and drive to the school.
Like last year, my daughter squeezed my hand, looked up at me adoringly in her poofy dress and blushing cheeks, and said with her eyes, “You are the most wonderful thing in the world, Daddy. I love you with all my heart and spending time with you is the bestest thing I could ever imagine.”
Then we entered the cafeteria and I became the invisible man.
Well that’s not true. Invisible men don’t get impatient glances and tapping feet.
Mia’s eight, so I’m totally used to the scriggles (screamy girly giggles) every time she sees her friends, just not when we’re wearing shiny shoes. From the second we entered the cafeteria ballroom, a series of scriggling second graders commanded all our daughter’s attention.
Mia looked over, around and through me to make eye contact with her friends, but never at me. She was off as soon as the music started. Eventually I headed out to the dance floor to look for my first born. I found her two songs in and asked her for a dance.
“No dice dad!”
Is what she might have said if she had taken the time to stop and say something intelligible on her scriggly whiz by.
That’s fine, I thought. No biggie.
Another four or five songs passed before the DJ hopped on the mic and invited all the dads and daughters to the dance floor for the father daughter dance.
I smiled. It was just what I’d been waiting for. I went out to the dance floor to find Mia, but she was nowhere to be found.
I found her a song and a half later. She’d been on a sequin safari with one of her friends, gathering the glittering hearts from abandoned tables and collecting them in an empty cup. She ran up to me with a foot long grin and a scriggle bubbling from her lips. “Look at all the hearts we found!”
“Dance with me,” I said, taking her hand.
“Okay.” I might’ve asked if she wanted seconds on vegetables.
We headed to the dance floor where we started to sway back and forth for all of six seconds before she was looking over, around and through me to see what her friends were doing.
I’m no fool. I know my daughter will grow up and away from me and I don’t want to keep her tiny forever, nor do I think she did anything abnormal or wanted to hurt my feelings in any way.
But I’m human, and find it impossible to ignore the incessant marching of time and all the evidence he leaves carelessly behind. Last year I was the only thing in the room that mattered. This year I wasn’t.
Seasons change and leaves fall from the tree only to flourish on the same branches the following year. I know we’ve done well to nurture our children’s soil and that growing pains aren’t only for the little ones.
I feel fortunate to know in my heart that though Mia will one day outgrow my lap, she will never outgrow me.
About Sean Platt
You will always be her rock, the one person she can depend on no matter what. Believe me, there is almost nothing as special as the father-daughter connection. But she'll pull away until she decides to come back…but she knows she can pull away because she KNOWS that you'll be there for her when she does.
That was sort of happy and sad at the same time – it tasted like bacon flavoured ice cream.
Actually it puts me in mind of an old saying which goes something like: A son is a son 'til he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
Anyway… there's always the livingroon dances. They never end. :)
Have been missing my daughter this morning as the weekend just whipped by in a flurry of birthday parties and swimming lessons. This made my heart ache and I need to hold myself back from busting her out of school!. Well…maybe I can bust her out a *little* early, from daycare at least.
I know it. She was glue all this weekend. But the dance was noteworthy for the difference between the other two years, and it being the only when where I was publicly dismissed. :)
LOL, bacon flavored ice cream. I prefer broccoli myself. :)
I've always liked that old Irish proverb.
You definitely should. Make it a day to remember. :)
My husband is a veteran Father/Daughter dancer too and he tells me the same story when he gets home from these events- the girls don't have time for him. They know he's there, though; they are secure enough in him and their relationship that they can go and play with their friends. :)
Just wait until she's 16 going on 17, like my oldest. Sigh…
Look at all the hearts she found glittering and begging to be scooped up. However, your heart she holds forever. She will never outgrow you.
Hi Sean and Mia .. it's great that you had last year together, and that Mia has the confidence to be with her friends this year .. she'll be back, she'll remember her Dad times – won't you Mia?! There'll be plenty more .. special memories .. special times to put into a journal .. Mia could do a post on the Dance? Enjoy the week ..
aaawwww Sean, I had one of those moments this weekend with my gal over a regular family activity, and a regular family acitivity including the boyfriend…. ugh. Maybe these differences now will help you for the day a boy enters the picture – though I can only imagine your angst then :-)
Hi Sean. Kids are kids, and it's always more exciting to hang with her peers, although disconcerting to us as parents (or grandparents) Whenever I go over it is clear, she is “daddy's little girl”. I thought that it was really funny at dinner last thursday when she was getting squirrely and Cindy reprimanded her and you shot her your best fish-eye. She just wasn't having it and kept making faces at you trying to make you laugh……very deja vu! It is apparent that she KNOWS daddy loves her and was playing it to use a get-out-of-jail-free card. By the way, do they have any mother and son events so that Max can get his fair share of the spotlight? xoxomom p.s. you lost my poem I sent you for your last post!
Please, Kim. You're going to make me cry. :)
True that, babyluv. I know it, but it was just the first time I'd been publicly dissed, you know? :)
Hey Hilary,
I like that idea a lot! She should do a post about the dance. I'd love to see her put her perspective down on paper.
Thanks for the thought.
I totally get it and when she is publicly dissed by those same friends that she frolicked off with because they have changed their minds about who the best friend of the day is, you will be able to connect with her with a personal example that will hit home without hurting her. Keep the story in your pocket. It will have relevance for her at a later time. Thanks for the dance.
I love you.
You know I'd wax lyrical, but you know exactly where I am. :)
You're killin' me… :( I have identical twin 3 year old girls and I'm already stressing over the day they don't see me as the center of their world.
Growing up is hard but growing up as a parent is even harder.
True that, brother. True that. :)
Don't worry, the good will always outweigh the bad.
Twin girls! You have your hands full! I have twin sisters, now 11 years old.
Now that I'm a little depressed from your revelation – I don't ever want my daughter to grow up.
It's hard, but at least it only happens minute by minute and not all at once! Wait… that's sort of depressing as well. :)
I'll never go anywhere without a hammer, you know, for just in case.
Woman, stop nagging me about that poem! :)
Believe me, Max gets plenty of spotlight! And yeah, Mia's shenanigans are deja vu, but at least Honey played it straight, whereas Grammy's grinning the entire time, making it way more difficult. Ahem…
Hhe article's content rich variety which make us move for our mood after reading this article. surprise, here you will find what you want! Recently, I found some wedsites which commodity is colorful of fashion. Such as mbt outlet store that worth you to see. Believe me these websites won’t let you down.