The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.
~Joan Didion
“Daisy, I need you.”
I’m out the door before she can answer, feet over the fence, three seconds later.
“Hey,” I yell.
I land in front of both of them, but grab the bigger one by the shirt as he’s passing. He’s holding a handful of labels from the post office. Kindergarten logic paints his paws as red as the stop sign he just slapped a label on.
He shrugs me off, and starts to walk, his friend a beat behind.
I grab his shirt, pull him toward me, then sidestep in front.
“You’re going to clean that off, or you’re gonna wait for the cops.”
He stares.
I stare back.
The vandal’s a big kid, not used to being challenged. He’s between fifteen and seventeen, six foot two, two-hundred and fifty pounds.
He’s got seventy-five pounds on me, at least, but I’ve the advantage of an inch, and I press it on him like it’s the peak of a mountain.
“Two choices.”
He shrugs me off and turns. I maneuver back in front.
Silent, I produce my phone and hit the police, non emergency (our neighborhood is such that this number is immediately accessible).
“Fine,” he says, approaching the stop sign, “but it don’t come off.”
“It will come off. The last time I scraped one of those stickers, it took half an hour, but I’m probably faster than you.”
He stares, hate boiling. ”I don’t have to do this,” he says.
“Then don’t.”
He stands on tip toe, and peels the sticker from the sign. When it’s gone, he scrapes the scraps with the scraps of his nails. Every peer is peering, dozens of eyes, peeking from windows, trees, and alleys.
I’m on my corner, arms folded, watching him work, enjoying it far more than when I’m the one scraping. It took three years to get the four way stop put on our corner, two days to get it tagged.
“I bet you wouldn’t have done that if your mama was watching,” I say.
“I just did it while my grandma was watching,” he boasts. There is genuine pride in his face, but it is clearly masking a different emotion.
“I hope she’s watching right now.”
The stop sign is shining and he turns to leave. ”Don’t forget the trash can.” I point to the can on the corner.
The can on the corner came from our city. We waited two years. We wipe it down and dump it every Friday. This is preferable to the era when we didn’t have the can, and people instead used our yard, sidewalk, and hedges.
Since we’ve had the can, it’s suffered intermittent detonations in the few weeks preceding and following the Fourth of July. At the moment, I’m looking at a postal sticker splayed across the side. I didn’t see my new friend do it, and don’t know for a fact he was the culprit, but it matters not at all.
He continues to stare, hatred now mingled with defeat. The sticker peels off the trash can like they always do.
I let him leave, but not without a final word. ”You need to show respect around my property.”
“Which one’s yours?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yeah,” he sneers.
“The whole corner,” I say. ”Anything in eyesight of my kids.”
He walks away. I turn back to the house.
I’m being watched, not just by Daisy and the entire neighborhood.
Our final client of the day is on standing on our porch. I wonder what he’s thinking, but then I see the applause on his face and feel relieved.
We live in one of the oldest houses, in the oldest part of our city. The neighborhood was overcrowded to begin with, and has continued to brim. We nurture our corner and it’s improved immeasurably since we planted a flag in our preschool three years back.
Neighborhoods are life, filled with all kinds of people.
Life advances with effort and deteriorates with apathy. Income means nothing, manners are free.
I believe in my neighborhood (always have), but the mothers and fathers of today should be paying more attention to the mothers and fathers of tomorrow.
Writer Dad
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About Sean Platt
:) I knew I liked you! Will you come chase off the kids who throw beer bottles in my pasture every weekend? I would do it myself except I’m afraid of the dark, and coyotes, and beatings…
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick the Brain of Harrison McLeod of Men With Pens
:) I knew I liked you! Will you come chase off the kids who throw beer bottles in my pasture every weekend? I would do it myself except I’m afraid of the dark, and coyotes, and beatings…
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick the Brain of Harrison McLeod of Men With Pens
I second the notion suggested by Blogger Dad – take the picture next time!
To Bejamin Solah: SoLONG is more like it! It’s moments like the one Writer Dad describes here, that makes a person a civic leader rather than a civic loafer. Kudos to you, WD. You’re my hero, today!
Kimmelins last blog post..Does God Mind Nose Picking During Communion?
I second the notion suggested by Blogger Dad – take the picture next time!
To Bejamin Solah: SoLONG is more like it! It’s moments like the one Writer Dad describes here, that makes a person a civic leader rather than a civic loafer. Kudos to you, WD. You’re my hero, today!
Kimmelins last blog post..Does God Mind Nose Picking During Communion?
Good for you. It unfortunate and sad to see people who lack the understanding for respect – both of other and what’s not theirs.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Oh (No) Canada!
Good for you. It unfortunate and sad to see people who lack the understanding for respect – both of other and what’s not theirs.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Oh (No) Canada!
Thinking of this incident still kind of makes my blood boil. I hate little punks like that.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..I Wrote A Whole Novel In My Head
Thinking of this incident still kind of makes my blood boil. I hate little punks like that.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..I Wrote A Whole Novel In My Head
It’s amazing what you can get away with when your adversary thinks that you’re crazy. Be careful about letting Max see you act like that. We need at least one male in the family to be normal.
love, writerdad’s dad
It’s amazing what you can get away with when your adversary thinks that you’re crazy. Be careful about letting Max see you act like that. We need at least one male in the family to be normal.
love, writerdad’s dad
Writer Dad, good for you! With people like that, the main need is persistence. They’re used to getting their way and they need to be told what they’re doing is not appreciated.
beths last blog post..The Sweet Tooth Sagas
Writer Dad, I’m know I’m gonna cause a fuss, but I actually disagree with what you did. It’s a sticker, get over it. Do you really think you’re such a hero for making a kid peel a sticker off a stop sign? Does it matter at all?
Writer Dad, good for you! With people like that, the main need is persistence. They’re used to getting their way and they need to be told what they’re doing is not appreciated.
beths last blog post..The Sweet Tooth Sagas
Writer Dad, I’m know I’m gonna cause a fuss, but I actually disagree with what you did. It’s a sticker, get over it. Do you really think you’re such a hero for making a kid peel a sticker off a stop sign? Does it matter at all?
We live in a mixed neighborhood with an alley width street and cut through from all the fast food places to downtown and the teen drive around. Our hedge has been full of bottles (beer) mostly every weekend and we even asked the Fast Food guys to give us a garbage can. I still pick it up, even when I hear it smashing down in the middle of the night, as I don’t want little children to have to navigate the mess.
I used to get upset, now I just pick it up and put it in my can. Today one of the recovering folks from the halfway house and I had a conversation about my roses hanging over the hedge.
With round a bouts and planters we now don’t have the huge logging trucks coming through also….but speeding cars – yep.
I like the high gas prices…less teenage traffic and more walkers – much less garbage! Thank you for your good writing and taking care
Patricias last blog post..Kindle From Amazon.com
We live in a mixed neighborhood with an alley width street and cut through from all the fast food places to downtown and the teen drive around. Our hedge has been full of bottles (beer) mostly every weekend and we even asked the Fast Food guys to give us a garbage can. I still pick it up, even when I hear it smashing down in the middle of the night, as I don’t want little children to have to navigate the mess.
I used to get upset, now I just pick it up and put it in my can. Today one of the recovering folks from the halfway house and I had a conversation about my roses hanging over the hedge.
With round a bouts and planters we now don’t have the huge logging trucks coming through also….but speeding cars – yep.
I like the high gas prices…less teenage traffic and more walkers – much less garbage! Thank you for your good writing and taking care
Patricias last blog post..Kindle From Amazon.com
Valerie: Someone certainly needs to. I doubt I did much, but I did keep the stop sign clean.
Jamie: You have a pasture? That’s cool. Where do you live?
Kimmelin: SoLONG. That is super funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I answered him once already, but I guess he didn’t like my answer. I’ve got round two coming up, down below.
CK Lunchbox. I’m sure it’s just because I’m older today than yesterday, but it seems like there’s more disrespect than ever before. I hope I’m wrong.
Matthew: They have every right to go through a phase, so long as they grow out of it.
Pop: Ladies and gentleman, my dad. Long time reader, first time commenter. Max was in the house. Cheering.
Beth: Exactly. He needs to know the difference between what he thinks is cool, and what the people peeking behind their curtains thinks is cool.
Benjamin: I understand your perspective, but it isn’t JUST a sticker. It’s pandemic. I live in a ghetto where public and private property are defaced daily. Stop signs get postal labels slapped on them, obscenities follow. The labels take half an hour to scrape off. My half hour, that I don’t have. If I don’t scrape the labels, they multiply. Exactly like graffiti. We paint over that immediately as well. You don’t have to agree, but I corrected a neighborhood bully while he was disrespecting community property in front of our preschool where we endeavor to teach our little ones respect. I did so with control and manners. Observing vandalism, and doing nothing, is apathy. That’s not me.
Patricia: I’m with you. High gas prices are making people think. I can totally relate to your environment. Sorry.
Valerie: Someone certainly needs to. I doubt I did much, but I did keep the stop sign clean.
Jamie: You have a pasture? That’s cool. Where do you live?
Kimmelin: SoLONG. That is super funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I answered him once already, but I guess he didn’t like my answer. I’ve got round two coming up, down below.
CK Lunchbox. I’m sure it’s just because I’m older today than yesterday, but it seems like there’s more disrespect than ever before. I hope I’m wrong.
Matthew: They have every right to go through a phase, so long as they grow out of it.
Pop: Ladies and gentleman, my dad. Long time reader, first time commenter. Max was in the house. Cheering.
Beth: Exactly. He needs to know the difference between what he thinks is cool, and what the people peeking behind their curtains thinks is cool.
Benjamin: I understand your perspective, but it isn’t JUST a sticker. It’s pandemic. I live in a ghetto where public and private property are defaced daily. Stop signs get postal labels slapped on them, obscenities follow. The labels take half an hour to scrape off. My half hour, that I don’t have. If I don’t scrape the labels, they multiply. Exactly like graffiti. We paint over that immediately as well. You don’t have to agree, but I corrected a neighborhood bully while he was disrespecting community property in front of our preschool where we endeavor to teach our little ones respect. I did so with control and manners. Observing vandalism, and doing nothing, is apathy. That’s not me.
Patricia: I’m with you. High gas prices are making people think. I can totally relate to your environment. Sorry.
Sorry, I still think it’s all relative. Why is he sticking that sticker there? Why has he got nothing better to than to graffiti (aside from the fact some people actually find graffiti beautiful, as opposed to neat and perfect coz it looks unlived and inhuman IMO) but you said you live in a ghetto. So isn’t poverty more of an issue?
I’ve lived in areas where graffiti is rife, but it never bothered me, because the things around it were so much worse. I think when you look at businesses on the verge of being bailed out to the tune of $700 Billion, this poor kid gets ignored and the only way he gets noticed is to slap a sticker on a stop sign
Sorry, I still think it’s all relative. Why is he sticking that sticker there? Why has he got nothing better to than to graffiti (aside from the fact some people actually find graffiti beautiful, as opposed to neat and perfect coz it looks unlived and inhuman IMO) but you said you live in a ghetto. So isn’t poverty more of an issue?
I’ve lived in areas where graffiti is rife, but it never bothered me, because the things around it were so much worse. I think when you look at businesses on the verge of being bailed out to the tune of $700 Billion, this poor kid gets ignored and the only way he gets noticed is to slap a sticker on a stop sign
That took guts. Well – I can only assume he wasn’t too dangerous. I would imagine a hardened gang member would have pulled out a knife, or something of the like.
Good for you, for sticking up for what’s right.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Stage Names That Spell Success
That took guts. Well – I can only assume he wasn’t too dangerous. I would imagine a hardened gang member would have pulled out a knife, or something of the like.
Good for you, for sticking up for what’s right.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Stage Names That Spell Success
@ Benjamin, are you seriously saying that it’s not okay to care about vandalism in your neighborhood because of the economic bailout? REALLY? Wow. Well, why care about the economic bailout? We’re all just gonna die you know.
Regardless of your views on the beauty (or lack thereof) of graffiti, public property belongs to the PUBLIC. The stickering guy had no right to sticker what did not belong to him. If he is trying to make an artistic statement, then he is free to do so all over his own property.
The idea that he is applying stickers because he is a “victim” of his own ghetto is ludicrous, and I feel this is definitely implied in your post. This reminds me of several upper middle class kids I have known who thought they were all badass because they were “graffiti artists.” Needless to say, they went to paint in poor neighborhoods – not their own.
@ Benjamin, are you seriously saying that it’s not okay to care about vandalism in your neighborhood because of the economic bailout? REALLY? Wow. Well, why care about the economic bailout? We’re all just gonna die you know.
Regardless of your views on the beauty (or lack thereof) of graffiti, public property belongs to the PUBLIC. The stickering guy had no right to sticker what did not belong to him. If he is trying to make an artistic statement, then he is free to do so all over his own property.
The idea that he is applying stickers because he is a “victim” of his own ghetto is ludicrous, and I feel this is definitely implied in your post. This reminds me of several upper middle class kids I have known who thought they were all badass because they were “graffiti artists.” Needless to say, they went to paint in poor neighborhoods – not their own.
Hey WD, this incident reminds me of the story by Langston Hughes, “Thank You Ma’m”…
Hey WD, this incident reminds me of the story by Langston Hughes, “Thank You Ma’m”…
Wow, I’m impressed. It’s a sad story, but it’s also inspiring. I wonder if what happened would have any lasting effect on that boy.
“the mothers and fathers of today should be paying more attention to the mothers and fathers of tomorrow.” – I completely agree.
Wow, I’m impressed. It’s a sad story, but it’s also inspiring. I wonder if what happened would have any lasting effect on that boy.
“the mothers and fathers of today should be paying more attention to the mothers and fathers of tomorrow.” – I completely agree.
Pasture is cool? Nothing but Amish and cows out here. Oh, and those pesky teenagers who like to drive to the “sticks” to party every weekend. The Amish kids pick up the beer bottles and hang them on the bushes and trees like Christmas ornaments. :)
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick the Brain of Harrison McLeod of Men With Pens
Pasture is cool? Nothing but Amish and cows out here. Oh, and those pesky teenagers who like to drive to the “sticks” to party every weekend. The Amish kids pick up the beer bottles and hang them on the bushes and trees like Christmas ornaments. :)
Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Pick the Brain of Harrison McLeod of Men With Pens
Benjamin: You’ve given me a wonderful topic to discuss tomorrow. Thank you.
Bamboo: He was far from a hardened gang member, but I’ll admit to a slight case of the twitters.
KittyTown: I know, right? Hey, you haven’t answered me about you attacking the muggers.
Chris: I’m unfamiliar, but I’ll check it out.
Vered: I really hope so, or at least some of those watching eyes.
Jamie: Ah yes, but you have peace and quiet. I’ve not know true sustained silence in years.
Benjamin: You’ve given me a wonderful topic to discuss tomorrow. Thank you.
Bamboo: He was far from a hardened gang member, but I’ll admit to a slight case of the twitters.
KittyTown: I know, right? Hey, you haven’t answered me about you attacking the muggers.
Chris: I’m unfamiliar, but I’ll check it out.
Vered: I really hope so, or at least some of those watching eyes.
Jamie: Ah yes, but you have peace and quiet. I’ve not know true sustained silence in years.
Sean, you stud! Hey wait a minute, that would be the second time I’ve said that. I better take it back, people might start to talk. :)
Sean, you stud! Hey wait a minute, that would be the second time I’ve said that. I better take it back, people might start to talk. :)
Writer Dad
That’s an amazing story, and you have guts. Not too many people would stand like that. I”m not sure what I would have done (and I’m a big guy!). Score one for the Little Guy!
Though part of me thinks about what Tara said.
Just this week, I heard in the news in Ottawa, these punk kids spat on the floor of a city bus. One guy, like you, stood up to them and told them off .
It ended up in a fight and the guy got stabbed pretty seriously in the chest. It’s like the kids were looking for an excuse to pick a fight.
Lucky, he got first aid, someone helped him out, and he’s okay.
But just goes to show you, you never know what psychos are out there, and how they’ll react. You can put yourself in danger. And your family at risk.
Though we can’t keep backing down to these punks, either. We can’t live in fear.
Interesting conundrum…I don’t know what the right answer is.
I’m glad to hear you did what you did, though.
Friars last blog post..Dear Solar System
Writer Dad
That’s an amazing story, and you have guts. Not too many people would stand like that. I”m not sure what I would have done (and I’m a big guy!). Score one for the Little Guy!
Though part of me thinks about what Tara said.
Just this week, I heard in the news in Ottawa, these punk kids spat on the floor of a city bus. One guy, like you, stood up to them and told them off .
It ended up in a fight and the guy got stabbed pretty seriously in the chest. It’s like the kids were looking for an excuse to pick a fight.
Lucky, he got first aid, someone helped him out, and he’s okay.
But just goes to show you, you never know what psychos are out there, and how they’ll react. You can put yourself in danger. And your family at risk.
Though we can’t keep backing down to these punks, either. We can’t live in fear.
Interesting conundrum…I don’t know what the right answer is.
I’m glad to hear you did what you did, though.
Friars last blog post..Dear Solar System
Hi Writer Dad – I loved this story. Pride in our neighborhoods is important, isn’t it? Without you speaking up, those boys would have continued on with their “destructive” ways, thinking it didn’t matter. The day will come when they’re in the same position. I hope they remember how you handled it.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..NBOTW – Helping You – Helping Others
Hi Writer Dad – I loved this story. Pride in our neighborhoods is important, isn’t it? Without you speaking up, those boys would have continued on with their “destructive” ways, thinking it didn’t matter. The day will come when they’re in the same position. I hope they remember how you handled it.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..NBOTW – Helping You – Helping Others
Oh wow…how brave of you!! You’ve indirectly provided him with some life lessons. I wonder if he will understand! Next time, you should tell him your blog address too!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Soul Revelations From Past Life Memories
Oh wow…how brave of you!! You’ve indirectly provided him with some life lessons. I wonder if he will understand! Next time, you should tell him your blog address too!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Soul Revelations From Past Life Memories
Writer Dad – LOL, Evelyn gave me a good idea. Print up some writerdad.com stickers and hand them out to the kid, and tell him to go crazy all over town!
Of course, I’m kidding.
The stickers should say http://www.bloggerdad.com instead.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Eight Questions – Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging Without a Blog
Writer Dad – LOL, Evelyn gave me a good idea. Print up some writerdad.com stickers and hand them out to the kid, and tell him to go crazy all over town!
Of course, I’m kidding.
The stickers should say http://www.bloggerdad.com instead.
Blogger Dads last blog post..Eight Questions – Interview with Barbara Swafford of Blogging Without a Blog
Malathionman: People won’t start to talk until after the third time.
Friar: It is a conundrum. It’s actually about the fifth such confrontation in a fairly short period. Definitely the least dangerous. I might post about the time I confronted one of these guys in the alley and found myself immediately surrounded by half a dozen of them. That, I’ll admit, was super scary.
Barbara: I know I did my share of immature things when I was a kid, but I had parents to help steer me. I hope these kids find something to help steer them.
Evelyn: That’s funny, Evelyn. I said, WRITER DAD DOT COM!
Blogger Dad: Send me the stickers, I’ll pass them around. I’m getting board looking at the same post office labels.
Malathionman: People won’t start to talk until after the third time.
Friar: It is a conundrum. It’s actually about the fifth such confrontation in a fairly short period. Definitely the least dangerous. I might post about the time I confronted one of these guys in the alley and found myself immediately surrounded by half a dozen of them. That, I’ll admit, was super scary.
Barbara: I know I did my share of immature things when I was a kid, but I had parents to help steer me. I hope these kids find something to help steer them.
Evelyn: That’s funny, Evelyn. I said, WRITER DAD DOT COM!
Blogger Dad: Send me the stickers, I’ll pass them around. I’m getting board looking at the same post office labels.
Hola, hey your comment on our site made me think: I wonder what would have happened if he would’ve said what his dad said to that punk. “Don’t pee on my leg and then tell me it’s raining.” I’m still laughing at that one! And now your dad shows up here. Priceless!
Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..OUTSIDE, SEEING
Hola, hey your comment on our site made me think: I wonder what would have happened if he would’ve said what his dad said to that punk. “Don’t pee on my leg and then tell me it’s raining.” I’m still laughing at that one! And now your dad shows up here. Priceless!
Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..OUTSIDE, SEEING
Oh, somehow I missed this yesterday!
My first thought? Bravo! I don’t know that I would have the fortitude to do same, although I DO know that I would certainly want to…I often wonder what has gone so terribly wrong with humanity that we can not only permit, but often encourage such behavior.
It may seem a simple thing, one little sticker…one little drop of water through the hole in the dam…
Such a small thing, a sticker.
Perhaps the young man will think twice – if he isn’t concerned that his mother, grandmother, or anyone else is watching, he will wonder if you, or another like you, is paying attention. Perhaps he will even find that the temptation simply isn’t there, because he now sees his community at that – HIS community.
Wouldn’t that be lovely??
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..The Path, Almost There
Oh, somehow I missed this yesterday!
My first thought? Bravo! I don’t know that I would have the fortitude to do same, although I DO know that I would certainly want to…I often wonder what has gone so terribly wrong with humanity that we can not only permit, but often encourage such behavior.
It may seem a simple thing, one little sticker…one little drop of water through the hole in the dam…
Such a small thing, a sticker.
Perhaps the young man will think twice – if he isn’t concerned that his mother, grandmother, or anyone else is watching, he will wonder if you, or another like you, is paying attention. Perhaps he will even find that the temptation simply isn’t there, because he now sees his community at that – HIS community.
Wouldn’t that be lovely??
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..The Path, Almost There
Thank you for sharing this story. I was scared that you might be hurt, but thankfully no one was hurt. Thank you for standing up for your neighbourhood. Your kids are in there, and it should be a safe area. I wish you lived in my neighbourhood, and helped clean up some acts of destruction aroudn here, too. :)
Thank you for sharing this story. I was scared that you might be hurt, but thankfully no one was hurt. Thank you for standing up for your neighbourhood. Your kids are in there, and it should be a safe area. I wish you lived in my neighbourhood, and helped clean up some acts of destruction aroudn here, too. :)