And it’s worth the bother. Love your insights, the gentle humor in your writing style. Splendid reflection on fatherhood. Guess, I will have to check out your blog now because of this gift of a post.

As an adult now, I understand the difficulties of the divorce for my parents, but I also know that as the years passed in my childhood and I grew to a teen, I did not yet understand it. This caused me to harbor a bit of resentment for my father.

I eventually did lash out at him when I was eighteen and did not bother to speak to him for about a year. After that, I was fine. I called him and opened the lines of communication again. Today, we talk on a regular basis and see each other on occasion, too, when one of us can travel for a visit.

The difference, in my case, is that geographic disparity kept my father from being able to spend time with me while I was growing up. While it may sound like an excuse, since it is in the past, it is fact. For whatever reason, good or otherwise, my father was unable to spend the sort of time with me that you spent with your children in this story.

I will be getting your book and reading it because you write well, and I can see that I can learn a lot from you about parenting. Thank you for sharing your story. Be well.

This week – tomorrow night, in fact – I will be dropping the Evil Genius off for his first overnight with his father, my now-ex-husband. One of the points I’ve tried very hard to reinforce with the lad is that his Daddy and I love him and always will.

I think my ex will be a better father now than he was when we were married…or at least, I hope he will be a more engaged parent, more present in the moments he has with our son.

I DO think there is a lot of negativity out there about children and divorce. So many people seem to think it will irreparably damage a child…but I have to wonder if remaining married when one or both spouses are mired in misery, inattentive to the child/ren, obviously no longer in a partnership is such a good idea. Is that how we want to model a relationship to our kids? How we want to model love? I know it’s important to show them that conflict can be resolved, that difficuties can be worked through…but isn’t there a time when we also have to show them that sometimes the best or only resolution is to walk away?

Sigh.

I’m glad, too, that you point out the simple things children love – that it isn’t about the money or the junk food or the lights and whistles…sometimes (probably most of the time), it’s better just to have ordinary days spent in ordinary ways.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K