“Are we not like two volumes of one book?”
~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Working from home has afforded me with the luxury of observing my children’s evolution up close, watching them grow to sapling from seed in bits and starts, never quite knowing whether a particular behavior is endangered or simply getting started. The inevitable minutes that will one day end up missing from my memory will slip away due to the detritus of old age, not because I was absent or too careless to pay attention.
Like any parent, I observe things about my children that I could not be more proud of, often chasing or trailing some other thing I wish they did better. There are habits I long to break, flaws I wish to iron, and character traits I wish to strengthen.
My son talks endlessly – a million miles a minute with rarely a breath between laps. He can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, and no matter how much I love the storyteller spinning inside him, sometimes it’s just TOO MUCH. I long for the quiet and have several times slipped into the bathroom in search of a few scant seconds of solitude only to hear the tip tip tap upon the door as his story continues to unfold. He is a Tommy Gun spattering blasts of verbiage that rarely cease whether invited or not. Just like his father.
My daughter will do anything for a laugh, even when her humor is hinging on the wrong side of obnoxious. She will rudely slice into the conversation of others without a second thought so long as it tilts the spotlight in her direction. When not receiving the attention she feels she deserves, my daughter will turn up the dial, assuming the problem is her volume and rarely accepting the suggestion that perhaps the reason no one is laughing is because she isn’t being all that funny. Just like her father.
My son will sometimes fall into the seemingly endless loop of a semi-eternal thought, as though frightened of its release. He will repeat the same question over and over, hurtling past learning until he lands in the lands of reassurance. He will parrot his own thoughts with enough fortitude to make you half believe an army of repetition can wage a war powerful enough to twist imagination to truth. Just like his mother.
My daughter gets feisty when things don’t go her way, her fingers curving to tight commas nested inside her palms. A fierce determination will wash her face like the moon settling in front of the sun. She is willing to fight for what she believes to be right no matter how shaky her footing, and willing to battle even when no fight is required. Just like her mother.
My son sometimes pouts when he does not get his way. He will purse his lips and cast his eyes downward, revealing with a quick stroke of his chin the precision of his injury; a wordless manipulation to let those who love him most know his needs have not been met. I look at him with an inferno of conflicting desires – one to satisfy what I otherwise am not and the other to put the manipulation in its place. I cannot help but feel certain he knows exactly what he is doing. Just like his father.
My daughter is a sometimes slob, allowing appetite to consume her with the same ferocity that drives her to shovel food into her mouth as though she were the new puppy in an overcrowded kennel. Unwilling to take a breath, too busy inhaling; the sight is embarrassing beyond measure. I would wonder if she eats this way when we’re not around, but of course she does. Just like her father.
Like it or not, our children are fractured reflections of us, and we have but a fraction of their years to give them our best. We must highlight the best inside us, and do all we can to rinse the worst. In those inevitable moments when we look at our children and see something we do not wish to see, it is often all too easy to look beyond our own borders to find the root of the problem. More often than not, those roots are right beneath our feet.
About Sean Platt
Wonderful reflections and great writing. Thanks for sharing this.
Wonderful reflections and great writing. Thanks for sharing this.
Oh too true, the faults we see in others are often the ones we dislike most about ourselves. Those flawed children will become ‘fantabulous adults’. Just like their Mother. Just like their Father.
Nice visual about the father/daughter food spillage, just lovely haha.
Oh too true, the faults we see in others are often the ones we dislike most about ourselves. Those flawed children will become ‘fantabulous adults’. Just like their Mother. Just like their Father.
Nice visual about the father/daughter food spillage, just lovely haha.
hi, Sean, yes, there are traits we love and can laugh at and there are traits we dislike, wish were not so dominant, but accept. As much as I think you would not like to admit it, you are scarily so much like me and Megan is a lot like her dad in temperment. I am much more like my dad, your papi, than i am like my mom, though there are traits of both. I can see your son and have to cackle in joy at all the apples and trees in the room! The mischievous gene is so strong you can smell it , and sometimes it ain’t pretty! Let’s revel in joy and acceptance of who we are and what we pass down to our children and just hope that we embellish the world. luv ya, mom
hi, Sean, yes, there are traits we love and can laugh at and there are traits we dislike, wish were not so dominant, but accept. As much as I think you would not like to admit it, you are scarily so much like me and Megan is a lot like her dad in temperment. I am much more like my dad, your papi, than i am like my mom, though there are traits of both. I can see your son and have to cackle in joy at all the apples and trees in the room! The mischievous gene is so strong you can smell it , and sometimes it ain’t pretty! Let’s revel in joy and acceptance of who we are and what we pass down to our children and just hope that we embellish the world. luv ya, mom
I like the reflections.
It took me a long while to finally get why the formative years are so formative and where the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” comes from. Basically, we learn in levels: intellectual, emotional, and physical. The keys to change are motivation, skills and feedback. You can imagine what it takes to change, to cycle from intellectually “getting it” to physically, your body just knows (muscle memory, basal ganglia.)
It’s great you get to shape your little apples and impart your wisdom. Sometimes, I really wish a good Vulcan mind meld would to the trick. It’s a blessing and curse to start from scratch. The more things change, the more things stay the same.
I like the reflections.
It took me a long while to finally get why the formative years are so formative and where the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” comes from. Basically, we learn in levels: intellectual, emotional, and physical. The keys to change are motivation, skills and feedback. You can imagine what it takes to change, to cycle from intellectually “getting it” to physically, your body just knows (muscle memory, basal ganglia.)
It’s great you get to shape your little apples and impart your wisdom. Sometimes, I really wish a good Vulcan mind meld would to the trick. It’s a blessing and curse to start from scratch. The more things change, the more things stay the same.
You write with such wisdom Sean that one wonders if you’re not drawing from a pool of knowledge, the likes of which would take many lifetimes to fill.
You write with such wisdom Sean that one wonders if you’re not drawing from a pool of knowledge, the likes of which would take many lifetimes to fill.
What a beautifully written post, Sean! You are truly the master of similes and metaphors.
The essay is a terrific tribute to your vivacious children and the loving parents after whom they’re clearly modeling their characters.
What a beautifully written post, Sean! You are truly the master of similes and metaphors.
The essay is a terrific tribute to your vivacious children and the loving parents after whom they’re clearly modeling their characters.
Tammy: My absolute pleasure, Tammy! Thank YOU for the comment.
Trina: That’s what we’re waiting for. And, uh, you should see the spillage. I wasn’t exaggerating.
Mom: I’ve never had a problem acknowledging our similarities, but I think you might be missing the point of the post. I look at my children and recognize those things in myself I wish were better, and work HARD to rinse them from their character rather than see them as validation and continue to fan the flames. Love ya. : > )
J.D: DUDE, a Vulcan mind meld would make life SO MUCH EASIER. Sheesh, now I’ll be thinking about that all day.
Marc: Wow, Marc. My two best compliments today are both from you. You never cease to flatter and I never cease my appreciation. Thank you.
Susan: Ha, thanks! I don’t know though… I have a hard time pulling similes these days without thinking about that AWESOME list you sent me. I’ve read it a half dozen times since the first. SO FUNNY. Thanks for the compliments!
Tammy: My absolute pleasure, Tammy! Thank YOU for the comment.
Trina: That’s what we’re waiting for. And, uh, you should see the spillage. I wasn’t exaggerating.
Mom: I’ve never had a problem acknowledging our similarities, but I think you might be missing the point of the post. I look at my children and recognize those things in myself I wish were better, and work HARD to rinse them from their character rather than see them as validation and continue to fan the flames. Love ya. : > )
J.D: DUDE, a Vulcan mind meld would make life SO MUCH EASIER. Sheesh, now I’ll be thinking about that all day.
Marc: Wow, Marc. My two best compliments today are both from you. You never cease to flatter and I never cease my appreciation. Thank you.
Susan: Ha, thanks! I don’t know though… I have a hard time pulling similes these days without thinking about that AWESOME list you sent me. I’ve read it a half dozen times since the first. SO FUNNY. Thanks for the compliments!
Wow! Reading this has completely changed my mood for today. I’m thinking about leaving work and running home to be with the kids and listen to my daughters endless storytelling — only this time trying to pay a little closer attention. What a beautiful post!
Wow! Reading this has completely changed my mood for today. I’m thinking about leaving work and running home to be with the kids and listen to my daughters endless storytelling — only this time trying to pay a little closer attention. What a beautiful post!
Great post! As Trina said to me, something must have been in the water (or the air?) yesterday. I wrote a post on almost the same topic! (“…habits I long to break, flaws I wish to iron, and character traits I wish to strengthen.”)
Anyway, wishing you the best as you “highlight the best inside us, and do all we can to rinse the worst.” I’ll be busy trying to do the same.
Great post! As Trina said to me, something must have been in the water (or the air?) yesterday. I wrote a post on almost the same topic! (“…habits I long to break, flaws I wish to iron, and character traits I wish to strengthen.”)
Anyway, wishing you the best as you “highlight the best inside us, and do all we can to rinse the worst.” I’ll be busy trying to do the same.
Home Run Post. I love our apples and tree.
Home Run Post. I love our apples and tree.
What a truly beautiful post.
I stumbled across your blog last week and have been enjoying it ever since. It is so refreshing to hear a dad’s blogging voice for once…you’re the first I have stumbled across.
What a truly beautiful post.
I stumbled across your blog last week and have been enjoying it ever since. It is so refreshing to hear a dad’s blogging voice for once…you’re the first I have stumbled across.
Haven’t been here in awhile. You’ve changed.
Haven’t been here in awhile. You’ve changed.
Some day, your children will have so much fun reading this blog.
Some day, your children will have so much fun reading this blog.
A month ago, I got laid off and it’s been the best thing to happen to me. Both in spending quality time with my daughter and wife (and dog, even though she’s jealous) and pursuing an on-line career.
Lesson here is gratitude and conscious attention which you point out so well.
A month ago, I got laid off and it’s been the best thing to happen to me. Both in spending quality time with my daughter and wife (and dog, even though she’s jealous) and pursuing an on-line career.
Lesson here is gratitude and conscious attention which you point out so well.
Jeannine: Aww shucks, Jeannine. Thanks. That’s an awfully nice thing for you to say. I appreciate your kind words.
Kristin T: Something in the air or water… or maybe the Pitchfork music festival! Wishing you the best as well, Kristin. Thanks!
Cindy: Thanks for making yummy fruit with me.
Mama Milieu: Thanks, mama! Check out my brother in arms over at Blogger Dad as well. He is tré awesome.
Matthew: I would hope so, but I can’t tell if you mean that as an insult, a compliment, or neither. : > )
Vered: I can’t wait until they do!
Brian PAPA: Thank you so much, Brian. That is precisely what I was trying to say.
Jeannine: Aww shucks, Jeannine. Thanks. That’s an awfully nice thing for you to say. I appreciate your kind words.
Kristin T: Something in the air or water… or maybe the Pitchfork music festival! Wishing you the best as well, Kristin. Thanks!
Cindy: Thanks for making yummy fruit with me.
Mama Milieu: Thanks, mama! Check out my brother in arms over at Blogger Dad as well. He is tré awesome.
Matthew: I would hope so, but I can’t tell if you mean that as an insult, a compliment, or neither. : > )
Vered: I can’t wait until they do!
Brian PAPA: Thank you so much, Brian. That is precisely what I was trying to say.
Seeing your own children most of the day is one of the most precious life time activities a father can have. I say it is the best job in the world. You get to see the little things like talking too much and other corks they may have. Keep up the great writing.
Seeing your own children most of the day is one of the most precious life time activities a father can have. I say it is the best job in the world. You get to see the little things like talking too much and other corks they may have. Keep up the great writing.