“Poverty is uncomfortable; but nine times out of ten, the best thing that can happen to a young man is to be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim.
James A. Garfield, American President
Sink or swim. If you’re out in the middle of the ocean, those are your only two choices, right? Head for shore, or wait and drown.
Life isn’t much different.
If we see something in our horizon, and we want that something, then it’s not enough to simply wait. Providence is not often so kind. It’s up to us to pump our arms and swim for it. The chances of that special something bobbing beneath our nose before we’re snorting bubbles is, perhaps, only slightly better than the odds of winning the lottery.
I loved my last job. I loved the people I worked with, and enjoyed the surroundings of each of my days. I was good at what I did, and I liked the way that success made me feel.
So why did I leave?
Because I was treading water. Once I asked myself the hard questions, I couldn’t lie about the answers. When I realized I was doing the dog paddle, I knew it was time to get out of Dodge.
My new job is no different. I love the children I teach, and the families they go home to. But there’s a low ceiling above me, and four walls that I can only leave if I’m scurrying from point A to B and back again.
Life is too short for so much restriction.
It’s a new dawn we’re living. Anyone with a reasonable amount of intelligence and good time management can carve a life for themselves that doesn’t have to conform to the standards set by the last several hundred years of the ruling elite. And I’m not talking about those lucky souls endowed with some incredible skill.
I mean anyone who knows how to breathe.
Too many people are perfectly content to simply survive rather than live. Go to work, collect your check, buy the things you need (along with a mountain you don’t), refinance, buy some more, sweat when the economy buckles…
It’s not enough.
If your life isn’t working, then change your behavior. Go on a diet, it doesn’t have to be food. Do without, go hungry. Decide what you want out of life, and then figure out how to get it. I know what I want, and I’ve given myself a year. Every one of you can call me on it if I’m not living as I say by the time my shirt’s sticking to my back next Summer. Scratch that, I doubt I’ll be wearing a shirt much of next Summer.
Just think about it, whatever your situation. If you’re out in the middle of the ocean, and you haven’t started to swim… start.
I promise it’s not too late.
Writer Dad
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Hi Writer Dad,
I love what you’ve written here.
I too have left my career behind looking for a more rewarding way to live my life.
It was a good decision - because it turns out that I actually do have a life beyond working for the man. A brilliantly fantastic life. I feel happier than I have in a long time.
I can’t claim to have been as brave as you, as my leaving was made easier by the fact that I didn’t like my work, and I certainly didn’t like the people I worked for. It was still a tough decision though, but one I have yet to regret.
I have long suspected that I have a hidden talent somewhere within. I doubt very much that it’s writing but I’ll keep looking until I find out what it is.
Your story and your style of writing are very inspirational, I look forward to following your progress.
All the best.
Dave.
I love your attitude. You seem like someone who will never get caught in The Comfort Trap (a great book by Judith Sills).
See you in Spain sometime!
Alex Fayles last blog post..The Blog is Dead! Long Live the Blog!
You make a very good point about not letting life stagnate. It’s hard to break that cycle with the day-in, day-out routines of life, but you just have to do it.
I also wanted to comment on the Olympics post, but it slipped past me. My little Monkey’s birthday is 08/08, so it’s even more special for us.
I have a question for you. Where do you find your pictures or do you take them? They’re great shots.
Kool Aids last blog post..Transitions
Writer Dad, you rock. I love this!! Great stuff.
Fantastic post, WD!
It is exactly that type of attitude and positive drive that makes people achieve their goals. I’m not sure what you are striving to do, but you sound hell-bent on doing it.
It may be cliche, but “change is the only constant”. I’ve always believed that and find that life is more bearable with that approach. Plus, change is often the most fun aspect of life. There’s nothing like routine to bore the mind and stagnate the soul.
Awesome post, Writer Dad! This is the truth we need to hear. I find myself in a situation similar to yours, where I am happy with what I do, but not passionate about it. I am treading water. Now I have to decide if I’m ready to make that swim…
Making a public proclamation here - I think that’s great. It give you accountability, something I think is important in decisions like this. Best of luck to you in the ocean you’ll be swimming in.
Lances last blog post..Simple Fun
Dave: Thank you so much, your words are appreciated. I promise you have an inner talent, everyone does. Find the quiet to realize what it is. That’s the hardest part.
Alex: I will check out the comfort trap, and no, I don’t plan to ever get trapped inside it.
Kool Aid: Happy birthday, little monkey. I hope this one’s extra special. The pictures are from the creative commons page on Flickr.
Emily: Thank you, Emily. I do enjoy rocking.
Ian: I don’t think it’s cliche at all. Change is the only constant.
Lance: Don’t tread water. Life’s too short. I love the idea of a public proclamation. That’s one of the things that appeals to me so much about writing. The very act of putting something in writing is a gesture of commitment. I think we mean the things we write, a bit more than we mean the things we say.
You’re truly a prolific blogger. No easy skill. Also, your domain name is top notch. Just thought I’d give you my assessment.
Even our state of mind can be likened to sinking or swimming. Are you depressed? Are you channeling thoughts that are driving you mad?
It’s your mind. Sink or swim. Do it. Now.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..What’s The True Value of Blog Comments?
As someone recently reminded about the fragile nature of life, I can’t agree more with the thoughts in this post. Don’t put off your dreams or desires.
Best of luck as you swim toward that new horizon. I’ll be cheering for you!
Jamie Grove - How Not To Writes last blog post..A Writer’s Choice
While I love your enthusiasm and commitment to yourself, in the back of my mind I keep thinking, “Don’t quit your day job, don’t quit your day job.” Not to downgrade what you’re doing, whatever it is — I wish you’d said — but I have qualms.
I’ve read similar proclamations from others recently, and in every case so far they are (1) male, (2) in their 30’s, and (3) healthy (as far as I can tell). I’m not sure what this means, except for the following: imagine you are female, single, in your 60’s, and still able to work but handicapped with several serious illnesses. Now quit your day job.
You see what I mean? It’s so easy to say these things when you’re not even at the peak of a career yet, have lots of energy and stamina, don’t have great big prescription and medical bills, have the support of family (including potential financial support in case of failure), and aren’t near retirement age when it’s very hard to get a job, let alone change careers.
So, while I wish you the best in your new adventure, I won’t be joining you in taking the plunge.
@Dot H.
When I left my day job, I was still living in daily pain from misdiagnosed fibromyalgia where some days I couldn’t get out of bed. What was making it worse, though, was my complete unhappiness with where I was life and work-wise.
For over a year as I planned my new business I felt trapped because I didn’t have the money to support myself for the standard 18 months (or even 6 months) recommended for new entrepreneurs. However, I took the plunge, used the value of my house to pay for things for a few years, then sold it all to follow a more passionate dream.
I totally agree with you that sometimes it’s better not to take the plunge, but it depends on what you value. I’m now earning the same while I was at university 15 years ago, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been and working towards a plan to carry me through the rest of my working life and well into retirement.
Of course, I have the conviction that I will succeed, which is crucial to taking the plunge away from a secure job.
Your words are a good reminder, however, to think before leaping. And it’s definitely NOT something everyone is built to do (or should do).
Cheers,
Alex
Alex Fayles last blog post..The Blog is Dead! Long Live the Blog!
Bamboo Forest: Thank you for both comments, truly. Fuel to my fire.
Jamie Grove: Thanks for the cheerleading, and I’ve enjoyed your site.
Dot: You are correct about many things. I am in my thirties, I am male, and I am in good health. However, I do have a family to support, none that can support me in case of the worst, and no safety net. I live in California, which means that my mortgage is chunky enough to choke on and the property taxes are like a kick in the teeth while I’m trying to chew. Still, it doesn’t matter. I will find another way, because if I don’t, I’m certain that I will wake up in ten years, furious with myself for never having tried. I will be making my money as a writer, sorry for speaking of that as though it were a given. My grandfather started his own business when he was at retirement age. He did it because he knew he could. His parents crossed the border and took him with them, so that they could make it to a place where such opportunity was possible. Both my parents had their own small businesses before they met and made me. Working for myself and using my mind to make my money is part of the double helix of my DNA. Sure it’s possible I’ll fail, and maybe even exponentially more so if I were twenty years older, but I know myself well, and an extra couple of decades might weigh enough to slow me, but they could never weigh enough to pull me down. You are absolutely right: swimming isn’t for everyone, but it’s perfect for me.
Alex: Thank you for being such a big contributor to the discussion on my site. I really appreciate it.
Writer Dad,
I had to get this comment in before I slam some pizza rolls for my daughter in the oven.
First of all, you are a great writer. Your posts are insightful and profound. Okay, so I don’t like the Olypics. So what.
Anyway, I agree with what you’re saying. We have been conditioned by very many variables that settles us into a “comfortable” existence. And then we feel trapped.
I do think it gets harder as we get older. I always knew I was a writer and a photographer and I wish I would have followed that dream earlier. I became trapped. I needed a real “job.”
What the hell is a real job? I have always done things that would “allow” me to practice my art while I worked, like wildlife biology and teaching. The problem is is that these real jobs are also highly competitive and take up all of your time.
And then I had kids.
You can still follow your dreams if you want. There is always time. But it does get harder. I have been lucky that my husband brings home the paycheck while I am working my ass off this first year of freelancing. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be able to do this. And who knows? I still may have to go out and get another job, like waitressing at night so I don’t have to pay for daycare. How else would I have room for what I’m doing in my life?
There are no easy answers. But Writer Dad, I know you can do it if you want. Tread water while you dip your foot into the writing world. And feel free to ask for advice. You got my email.
I will say that I like my life now. I like what I’m doing and the freedom that it provides me. And quite frankly, I’m glad I’m away from the politics of it all.
Have a good night. E
Ellen Wilsons last blog post..Inner and Outer Authority
Hech, it’s NEVER too late! Every day we have that choice…the choice to decide ‘today’ what our life will be & what our future will bring… I say that from personal experience (I think we all can). We’ve all at some point been out there treading water ya know?
Ribeezies last blog post..The System Is Down
This year, I decided it would be the year I stopped faffing about and got down to putting serious effort into writing. I began by mapping out a novel but continued to read the ‘how to’ books (you know what they say, at some point you have to put them down and actually get on with it). Well, one of them said that an agent was pretty essential and that one way to get showcase your talent to an agent was to blog. I don’t know how true that is, but it makes sense to me that writing a blog is damn good writing practice.
Yes, it’s possible to stop treading water and change direction. But yes, it’s so much harder when you’re older and have commitments and/or medical problems. I have both. However, I’m not really fit to hold down a job so why not go for what I can do at home?
I think the key to what you’re saying is first to identify what you really want. After that you can work out ways to make it happen, or if it really isn’t going to work for you, you can find another direction and still change your life for the better.
A lot of it is fear. Fear of the unknown, and fear of failure. If you can lose the fear, you’re free to reach for the stars. But it’s also good not to fall flat on your face so that other people have to stop what they’re doing to pick you up.
Hi Writer Dad: Move to Panama. There’s a 20 year property tax exemption. I agree that life is sink or swim. I also believe that we live in a time when we can each decide what we want and go for it. Usually people make a change when things get so bad they can’t take it anymore. You seem to have made a change simply because you want more for yourself (and your family). Good for you!
Ellen: Thank you for your compliments. I’m just truly starting to feel comfortable with the idea that I’m a writer, and I know the more comfortable I feel, the better I’ll write. I don’t want to be comfortable, I want to be ecstatic. Thank you for your confidence, and the offer. It is very kind. I’m glad you found your freedom. It’s like having wings, right?
P.S. I hope the pizza rolls were good.
Ribeeezie: Yes, we all tread water sometimes. Life’s about discovering how much you’re willing to tread.
Jay: Just start writing. Don’t stop. Seriously, keep going. I mean it. Write for like days without looking at the pile of pages. When you’re all empty, then go back and pull the ten percent that is truly amazing and knead it and shape it from there. Good luck, and Writer Dad’s always open for a helpful nudge if you need it.
Marelisa: Panama…. Well, I guess if I’m a writer, I could live in Panama. I should probably run it by the Mrs.
Writer Dad,
This is a beautiful piece of writing. I love what you say about the difference between living and survival!
Very eloquently said.
Rita
Ritas last blog post..Rita’s a Racist (or, if you Prefer, Bloggrrl’s a Bigot)
I came over from Linda’s site and like what I’m reading
It’s not an easy decision to make - whether to leave the security of the old job and to plunge into the new with all its unknown, or not. Yes…most certainly if one has chosen to take a risk, do what it takes to keep on swimming. It will be nice if a lifeboat comes along too!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..Walk On Water With 7 Magic Stones
Living, not surviving.
Getting what we want from life, not settling for what we have.
This is a very inspiring post. I agree with Ellen: you’re a great writer. I wish you luck with everything. It’s great that you’re not willing to stay in a situation that leaves you uninspired.
Just look at this blog! So new and yet you’ve already built a vibrant community around it. The sky is your limit… get going.
Vereds last blog post..Cooking? That’s What Wives Are For! (Wordless Wednesday)
Rita: Thank you.
Evelyn Lim: I figure this blog is my lifeboat. If I’m I writer, then I should be writing for an audience. And if I work hard enough, then there’s no reason I won’t find some degree of success. At least enough to make me happy (I’m a pretty affable guy; it won’t take much).
Vered: I could be storming the highest citadels in the sky, you still left me my first comment. Thank you. When I joined some random blog network (that I really should check up on), you had added me. Thank you. When I tried to figure out StumbleUpon, you had been there first. Thank you. You flit around like a busy butterfly to a bundle of blogs. It is truly wonderful how much support you give to so many. I don’t think I would have commented so quickly and so often if it were not for you. You taught me that. Thank you.
See you all tomorrow. Good night.
Writer Dad
This is a very inspiring post. It mirrors my life exactly. I too have set some goals for myself and recently “started swimming”. It took a while for me to gather the courage and it will be a challenge to keep it up, but I will arm myself by reading beautifully elegant and fulfilling posts like this.
Talk to you soon
T
writer dad,
those are great words. i’d like to stop by sometime and catch up. let me know when you have some free time.
nick
‘Write for days without looking at what you’ve written’
That’s the problem, right there. I am writing, every day, but I simply cannot resist editing what I’m writing as I go. I know I’d get along better if I didn’t, but …
Help! How do I stop doing it?
@Jay
I used to be really bad with that too - I never got past the first chapter of anything. Now I play tricks with the editor to keep him quiet.
1) Have multiple projects on the go. I usually have a novel and a short story (and various articles) on the go at one time in different stages, so that I can edit something that I’m NOT in the middle of writing when the editor insists on showing up.
2) Edit the outline. I’ve discovered that if I get itchy to outline what I’ve written in a novel, I satisfy the craving by going back to the outline and making sure that what I’ve written matches the outline. I DON’T edit anything I’ve written, but I will edit forward the outline and I’ll make a FEW SMALL notes on the outline for the stuff I’ve already written.
There are many other tricks that other writers use. http://www.fmwriters.com is a great resource (It’s a free forum) for help on writing. I visit it every day.
Good luck!
Alex
Alex Fayles last blog post..The Blog is Dead! Long Live the Blog!
T Edwards: Thank you very much. Good luck getting to the far shore.
Nick: Nice to hear from you. Give us a call, we’ll set something up. You should be getting to bed. You’re staying up too late.
Jay: This all comes down to willpower. No book can teach you how to do this, but let me try and give you an example. If you were drawing a bath, you wouldn’t turn the water off every few minutes to let all the ripples settle. You fill the tub first. Think of writing the same way. You have to fill the tup first. If you’re constantly tinkering, you won’t get anywhere. I’m happy with where I am in my novel, and I’m sure that after my next draft, I’ll be a bit closer to thrilled. But I HATED large chunks of my first draft. You’ll get there. C heck out my post, “Your baby’s born in the rough draft, you raise it in the rewrite.” It might help, even if just a little.
Alex: That helps me as well. I never have any less than 7,348 projects going on at any one time. That way, if I say that nothing is inspiring, I know I’m just a liar.
@WD
I love the analogy you used re filling the tub. I’ll have to remember that!
Thanks to both Alex and Writer Dad for the tips! I’ll go over to the forum you mentioned, Alex, and take a look! I know that I can write, if I can get past this stage. I’m just really bad at this.
I think many people are so afraid of being in the “sink or swim” situation - many will never leave shore, they will never get on a boat…
It’s an exciting and terrifying situation to be in. But it’s one of the best for getting you motivated to do something!
Writer Dad,
What fantastic contributions from your other readers! I particularly like Evelyn’s thought about the lifeboat. (Hope the link works)
I honestly believe that there are plenty of good people in this world who would begin a rescue effort if they saw a swimmer in trouble.
Great stuff here.
Alex: Thank you. I just came up with it in the moment, but I think it’s apt, and I’ll probably use it as the flint to spark an entirely different post.
Jay: You’re not bad, just beginning. Huge difference.
Chelle: Looking in all directions, seeing nothing but water, and asking yourself what’s next, will allow you to find out who you are.
Dave Fowler: I agree, and thanks for getting it all started on Thursday morning.
This is great. It really is. I’m starting law school in the fall for this very reason. My current situation was stagnant and not going well. I could stay there and be miserable, or try something new. I figure it’s far better to try something new.
I like this quote from your post: “If we see something in our horizon, and we want that something, then it’s not enough to simply wait. Providence is not often so kind. It’s up to us to pump our arms and swim for it.”
The only problem with me is… I swim toward something I see in the ocean, and just as I’m about to reach it, a shark jumps out and swallows it. Pretty much every time. Maybe I need to start carrying a harpoon.
Dubes last blog post..A Dark Knight Philosophy
Dube: You definitely need to start carrying a harpoon. Sorry it took so long to get back to your comment. I just found it.
Well, the shore is further than I thought. But I jumped ship, nevertheless.
My wife and child are learning to swim with me. Our occasional stress points invite us to sink, but being free of the SSBoredom (really varieties of dead end work) helps us keep our bodies in motions, our hearts a-thumpin, and our sites high.
Stop by Shannon Susanna Smith .com, and visit me too.
I like your stuff, so I subscribed today.
Steven: I’m glad you liked it, and glad you subscribed. Welcome.
You wrote, “The pictures are from the creative commons page on Flickr.” Just because a picture has a Creative Commons license doesn’t mean you don’t have to give the photographer credit. The usual procedure is to credit the photographer with a link to the picture on Flickr and say the picture has a Creative Commons license, linking to the particular license the picture has.
For an example of attribution see http://cheerfulmonk.com/2008/10/13/that-stir-of-might-and-instinct-within-us/
I’m grateful for Flickr and feel strongly that we shouldn’t abuse the system.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monks last blog post..That Stir of Might and Instinct Within Us