Do You Believe in Soul Mates?

Written by Writer Dad on October 22, 2009 - View Comments
Categories: Marriage

Ido not believe in soul mates, at least not by their strict definition. I love my wife more than anything and would trade her for nothing, but I am a practical man who understands that finding true exclusive congruence between two souls from the nearly seven billion on our planet is a mockery of basic mathematics. Geography and background are just two of the variables which bookend the billion other bits of existence that thread through the fabric of our lives each day.

Though I do not believe in soul mates, I do strongly believe in mated souls.

At the time I met Cindy, there wasn’t another person more suited to me. Each day since has only served to strengthen our bond; the cocoon now so thick no other soul could ever hope to puncture its hide. Our lives are mingled; our memories now brimmed with similar stories written by separate authors. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Don’t spend your life looking for a soul mate, allow your soul to mate instead.

Writer Dad

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  • I'm not sure if its soul mates or not, but the moment I saw my wife I know she was the one for me. So I asked her friend out as I was not ready to settle down, I've now been settled down for 24 years.
    .-= Graeme @ findaposter.com´s last blog ..Wonderful =-.
  • Hey Writer Dad. Great blog! Really glad I found it.
    Not to get all “mystical” on you here but love really can move in mysterious ways. And sometimes you can find it in the most unexpected places.
    Leah sent us a story awhile back about finding her soulmate way back in the 7th grade, and not realizing it until years later. You can watch her video at the link below.
    I hope you find it as inspiring as I do. Thanks and have a great day.
    http://www.ahamoment.com/vote/leah
  • TrinaMb
    Yes! Yes! Yes! Best way to phrase the concept.
  • Thanks, Trina!




    It's one of those turns of phrases that seems so obvious, I wonder why we haven't heard it a million times before.
  • That is wonderful to hear, Laurie. You certainly deserve it. I'm glad you've allowed your soul to mate.
  • Laurie
    I have never heard it put that way before.....allow your soul to mate . Over the last couple of years I have worked hard on doing just that. I has paid off beyond what I ever imagined. I can't imagine being with someone other than my hub. He is imperfect but perfect for me. I am blessed.
  • Could not agree with you more, man. I'm pretty sure whoever I had chosen (or whatever. I guess we chose each other) as long as they were pretty close to compatible would have developed into something special given the time to grow. I do not believe in fate so that makes perfect sense.
  • Place two people with the right circumstances and the right choices and you have a recipe for something special. A little bit of natural attraction and a lot of dedication and hard work, then you have love to be remembered.
  • What you said in essence is you choose to love your wife. That is a Biblical concept of love. Love isn't an emotion it's a choice. That continued choice brings periods of emotion and both highs and lows. But, true love will continue to choose to love.
  • I don't think love is entirely a choice as I do believe there is something magnetic and unexplainable about it. There are perhaps other women who on paper are a better fit for me than Cindy, but there is something that drew me to her instantly. That is the part that is instinct, though choice I do think follows.
  • I think that is a great way to think about it. Some people never find that "soulmate" so they spend their whole lives pushing away people they could be well suited with and have a wonderful life with. Great point Sean.

    Oh, I voted for you too!
    .-= Mary Thompson´s last blog ..Weekly Photo: Okemo =-.
  • Thanks Mary. I appreciate the vote and the compliment!
  • OK, OK! You drive a hard bargain. I’ll give you 5 camels, 6 hens, 1 cock, a three legged dog WITH a faux leather collar, a box of kleenex, a half eaten Big Mac AND a subscription to an "art" magazine of your choice! So do we have a deal, or what??

    PS it turns out you can vote at the weekend too!

    George.
    .-= G Roper´s last blog ..Cordless Drill =-.
  • Alright George, let's talk. But I also need a lifetime supply of chili and maybe a chihuahua or two.
  • Hey, now we're making progress! I'll tell you what, I'll throw in a lifetime supply of skidmarked underpants to save you eating all that chili. And here's the deal clincher... I know where you can get a dose of swine flu.. but it may involve kissing.

    And what's with the freaky comments thing? Thesis comments not good enough for you?
  • Listen George, I'm not interested in your half assed deals. I want an army of chickens or nothing.




    The freaky comments thing allows me to answer comments from email, which is AWESOME and means I can do a much better job answering them without having to go to the site and wait on WordPress. So far me likey, though they are admittedly a bit ugly. Also, there should be a way to double dip a comment as a tweet, though I don't know how to do it yet.
  • A battalion. Not a whole army. And I'll throw in my September 09 collection of toenail clippings.

    The comments are butt ugly and I didn't even know you'd replied - plus I have to click every damn comment to see what you replied to everyone else. You're so damn selfish.
  • The comments ARE super ugly, no doubt and I also don't like the way replies are set up. However, I think it's all customizable once I get used to it. Bottom line though, I'm able to bounce comments back in a way that (selfishly) works with my natural rhythm. If it works, we can add it to all our sites and have Dave pretty it up with some custom CSS (which is supposed to be pretty easy).
  • You are a wise man. No wonder I couldn't buy you off with camels.
  • As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approachedthem carrying belts.After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.


    \"America,\" the husband replied.



    Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. \"She's not from the States.\"



    \"Yes I am.\" said the wife.



    He looked at her and asked, \"Is he your husband?\"



    \"Yes.\" she replied.



    Turning to the husband, he offered.... \"I'll give you 100 camels for her.\" The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied,\"she's not for sale.\"



    After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, \"I was tryingto figure out how to get 100 camels back home.\"
  • LMAO. Now I know why you wanted the chickens.
  • There heads make wonderful soup and their feet - unbelievable back scratchers!
  • Don't get me naming chicken parts or it'll end badly. :-)
  • I once ate chicken feet before, no joke. It wasn't nearly as good as it sounds.
  • Yeah, because it sounds SO good! Yum, chicken feet...tastes scratchy.
  • It actually tasted more like an old dirty wallet. With staples.




    Damn. Now I'm salivating.
  • As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approachedthem carrying belts.After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.


    \"America,\" the husband replied.



    Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. \"She's not from the States.\"



    \"Yes I am.\" said the wife.



    He looked at her and asked, \"Is he your husband?\"



    \"Yes.\" she replied.



    Turning to the husband, he offered.... \"I'll give you 100 camels for her.\" The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied,\"she's not for sale.\"



    After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, \"I was tryingto figure out how to get 100 camels back home.\"
  • I voted but I have to come back to read...
    soul mates...I am just happy that he makes enough to provide shelter and food....!
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..UNICEF Fundraiser Looking for Good Food =-.
  • You get the biggest LOL downstairs today!
  • Your assumption, Sean, that to find one is a "mockery of basic mathematics" is true if you leave God out of the equation. In 1992, I had no plans to marry and laughed at the idea of soul mates. At the same time, my future husband had just told a friend he was giving up on "dating for a mate." We met over a meal and ended up talking for hours. The instant bond -- not love at first sight -- was powerful. Over the last 16 years, that bond has withstood unbelievable stresses, caregiving my mom, and spiritual upheaval on the way to unloading emotional baggage.

    As Beth quotes, a true soul mate is a mirror, but when you both realize how painful that can be, you learn, with God's help, to mirror through humor, tenderness, and a simple raised eyebrow. In that learning process of sword sharpening sword, you pass through the most amazing and wonderful and, yes, terrifying, parts of life. Walls are crumbled, hearts are freed, and new inner vistas unveiled.
    .-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..One woman learns self defense is a mindset =-.
  • What if you'd never met for that meal? Is it impossible to believe that you may have perhaps met someone else a week, month, or several years later? Perhaps on your travels or maybe someone you'd always known but something changed? I do agree that you learn from your soul mate and that they are a reflection, just not that there is no possibility of another.
  • Yes, it is impossible for me to believe God did not create Greg and me perfectly for one another.
    .-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Vigilance, it’s a 24-7 thing =-.
  • Sean ~ There's a passage from 'Eat Pray Love' (a book I swore to never read and yet somehow did anyway) that sums up my feelings on the subject far more eloquently than I could manage it:

    "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change you life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."
    .-= ~beth´s last blog ..I Trump Your Snark & Raise You A Guffaw =-.
  • My husband and I have so many places that cause friction if we allow it. We spent years allowing the friction. I like beach vacations to read and sun,he wants mega activity, he's a loud talker, I like peace and quiet. I like a clean and neat space, he likes to live among his stuff to stimulate creativity. Neither approach wrong, just different. We'd never be considered soul mates. Once we decided to mate our souls and stop raging about our differences, we can then see how each of our differences has the ability to make us better. Better as individuals and better as a couple. It's hard work. It's a choice. God gave him to me as a gift. A gift designed to make me better. I like your wording, mated souls. I'm totally stealing that and using it as my own! :)
  • It is yours as long as you enjoy it and promise to smile each time you use it. : > )
  • I never believed in soul mates before I met my husband. I thought that finding one person in the world that was meant for you seemed too impossible, but when I meant my husband I changed my mind. Maybe it's true. I mean I can't imagine being married to anyone else.
    .-= Lovelyn´s last blog ..Oatmeal for Breakfast =-.
  • Nor can I. Our souls have mated and so Cindy is my soul mate, but had she not moved to California would I be miserable forever? I doubt it. Though perhaps I would've found her in DC a couple years later or something. One never knows. : > )
  • I don't believe in soulmates as in there's one special, perfect person out there for everyone, but I do believe that there are people in this world that we are fated to meet, who have an enormous impact on our lives. These can be romantic partners, sure, but they can also be friends, family members, a teacher or boss...anyone who touches us and changes us profoundly. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that includes the people that we meet. I believe that some of these people are placed in our life-paths before we are born by God or fate or whatever, and that we are destined to meet these people. Such people as these are what I mean when I use the term "soulmate." In that sense of the word, I absolutely believe in soulmates.
    .-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Memories Best Left Forgotten =-.
  • I can travel to the edge of what you're saying, but if we dip too far I get lost. I like the tattered edges of fate, but if it we gets too deep into predestination the idea starts to make me uncomfortable. Then that toys with my concept of free will, which is what I believe gives us our ultimate power - the ability to decide our own actions and dictate between right and wrong.
  • That sounds right. I never believed in soul mates as such, but decided there were probably a number of people that I could potentially be good with.

    Now, Micah's my soul mate, but only because we've spent 7 years growing together until we're a part of each other.
    .-= Mrs. Micah´s last blog ..I’m Being the Match =-.
  • As my current soul mate would say - Exacalacaly!
  • Yeah, what Hayden said :)
    .-= Kool Aid´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
  • Deeper blush. : > )
  • You wouldn't trade your wife for anything?! Not even a camel or two? Come on, you must have your price?! Look, as your wife is so beautiful, I'll give you FIVE camels, a three legged dog, a box of kleenex and a half eaten Big Mac! Deal??

    And no, I don't believe in soul mates either.

    George.
  • Hi George, your deal sounds lousy.
  • "Don’t spend your life looking for a soul mate, allow your soul to mate instead."

    This is just perfect.
    .-= Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..What To Do When You Are Drowning in Stuff =-.
  • Thank you, Hayden. (Blush)
  • I don't think there's any one person for whom we are fated. I think there are many people with whom we share common interests, dreams, goals, bonds...and we can love them all equally well. I think there's nothing wrong with having different people who fill different needs in our lives, whether friends, family, or lovers. I have many people to whom I refer as Sister or Brother of my heart or soul...because we're not blood kin, but we're knit together no less well for the lack of genetic connection.

    I think we love who we're with, if we're fortunate and wise...

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K
    .-= Kyddryn´s last blog ..Of Course, There's a Broom =-.
  • I love, love, LOVE that passage. Awesome, Beth. Thank you. That is a terrific definition of soul mate. By the way, that Elizabeth Gilbert TED talks is still one of my favorites.
  • I agree with you.

    I've seen people in my life searching for their soul mate and never seem to be satisfied. They bounce from relationship to relationship.

    I really like the idea of "mated souls."
    .-= Scott´s last blog ..Infinite Bad Behaviors =-.
  • I love your final thought there
  • Hi Sean,

    I do believe in soul mates. I think that there is one special person out there for all of us. But I also like how you flipped this phrase to show that you can get a really strong bond to someone you love.

    Either way, I think it is a nice thought.

    Some people think love is a choice. You choose to fall in love and how deeply you will love.

    I would like to think that love is more than a choice, that people find each other for reasons, and that true love exists. That's my two cents.
    .-= Chase March´s last blog ..Be Satisfied Already =-.
  • I love your final thought there, Chase. I do agree that love is more than a choice and that people do find one another for reasons, even if they are beyond their understanding, but I don't believe in the singularity of the experience. One left turn on a Monday instead of a Tuesday can change a thousand days that follow. That's too many variables for me.
  • Hi Sean. I used to... but not anymore. I think if you tend to believe in soul mates you end up dreaming your life away and might not see the one right in front of you.
    .-= Davina´s last blog ..10. A Thyme You May Embrace =-.
  • Well said, Davina. How many people in this world's history have done just that? Too many, I imagine. Life's too short for that though.
  • Hi, Sean...In the wise words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: "If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with". Seriously, I believe there are many "soul mates" out there. Agreeing with you about the math, there are just too many people out there that the idea of only ONE being a perfect fit is rather absurd. As i've gotten older i kind of think that it would be really cool to have like a wardrobe or accessory closet where depending on your mood you could pull out an artist who shares your bohemian side, a nerdy cultural type who would bond with you over cultural events, a good ole' boy who just wants to be rowdy and eat barbeque with you, a gentle, kind spiritual soul who wants a greener planet and is kind to all, and a crazy gypsy who would love nothing better than to do antique sales with me and have fun! did i miss anything? love you, mom
  • Hi Mom, problem is, you'd end up with these big piles of soul mates everywhere, you know like in big giant heaps. You would be embarrassed to invite people over to the house because all your soul mates would be blocking the hallway. They'd also probably end up stealing your remote. : > ) Love you.
  • writerdad's mom
    that's good...you get points for that one!
  • writerdad's mom
    that's good...you get points for that one!
  • How many points?
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