“Do not discourage your children from hoarding.”
~Samuel Johnson
Have you ever been driving, fully engaged with your passenger, and you just fly past your exit?
This happened to me yesterday; except I was alone, and I wasn’t driving.
“I Heart Movies,” wasn’t supposed to be about my parents’ wildly disparate styles of parenting.
It was supposed to be about me, and my horrible hoarding.
Hello, my name is Writer Dad, and it’s been several months since my last DVD purchase.
Yesterday, I waxed fondly of the cinematic library of my childhood. Our family wasn’t wealthy by any means, but one of our indulgences was undoubtedly movies.
At first, they were a novelty. My dad used to pick them up used from the video store next to our flower shop. As it grew cheaper to buy them new, my mom assumed the role of acquisition.
She treated this task as though a parallel dimension hinged on her diligence.
We filled one cabinet, then another. A small stack started on the floor, soon mounting to a teetering tower.
Then it multiplied.
After purchasing “Mr. Destiny” (yes, she was the one), she was forbidden to buy another movie.
But my mom laughed at prohibition, and turned bootlegger.
At first, my father simply sighed and sort of pretended not to notice, but it was difficult to ignore an extra, unopened copy of “Jesus Christ Superstar.”
Arguments fogged the house with language we weren’t allowed to hear from actors.
My dad demanded that my mom stop slipping in a stack of cinema every time she went to Target.
She kept on doing it anyway.
This was in the mid-life of VHS, about where DVDs are now, and you could practically find a blockbuster sitting at the bottom of your box of Cheerios. But even ten cents is expensive, if it’s for two spools of magnetic ribbon that are never gonna rotate.
Her quiet trafficking continued, until crashing into a hilarious/horrifying conclusion one afternoon in the middle of a family move.
My dad discovered a long box, about the size of a hunchback’s coffin, crammed with sealed movies, tucked in tight rows; the entire stash swaddled beneath a pile of shoes.
There was a raging tempest that day. It may have been added to the bible, I’m not sure, but I will not speak of it here.
NOTE: At some point, I would like to discuss my mother’s hoarding in far more detail. It will be funny, and she is shockingly unembarrassed. However, I am afraid that the subject will eat my blog.
Despite the discord, I loved that library, and when I left, it was something I missed.
Every weekend, as I rented four movies for four days for four dollars and took them back to my apartment, I’d envision hallways of shelves, stocked with decades of cinema, in the palatial estate of my future.
Years passed, I met Daisy, and she surprised me on our second Christmas with a DVD player about a year after they’d hit the shelves.
I was in love, with both Daisy and the thin black, sexy thing sitting beneath my TV.
So I binged.
For five straight years.
I won’t bore you with depths of my idiocy, but I may or may not have bought boxes of flix, for a dollar a pop, from a company based in Thailand, called “DVD’s for a Dollar.”
I’m drawn to the idea of a permanent library, even though I can admit the impracticality. Perhaps it’s the immediate and available choice, or the tangible validation that I’ve seen or read what’s resting on my shelves. I know part of it was a desire to share adoration with offspring; a feeling born inside me long before I had any.
Fortunately, I grew up. I had two children, a mortgage, and no excuse not to. And honestly, Netflix made it easy.
The last three DVD’s I’ve bought, are all Disney, and even they seem fleeting. In a few years, it’ll all be downloads. That’s almost like permission to hoard. What’s the worst that could happen? I fill up a hard drive and have to get another; how big are they anyway?
About the size of a single VHS cassette.
Writer Dad
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Netflix definitely helped my fiance’s hoarding habit as well. If there’s ever a 12-step program to break the habit, Netflix should be prescribed! LOL!
Netflix definitely helped my fiance’s hoarding habit as well. If there’s ever a 12-step program to break the habit, Netflix should be prescribed! LOL!
No more DVD’s for me, I’m on to downloads!!!!!!
No more DVD’s for me, I’m on to downloads!!!!!!
CK: I love your blog. As part of my hoard, we have the old Fleischer Superman toons. LOVE them. They’re wonderful and quiet, and could never be done now.
Rita: I feel deaf in one ear, and stupid in the other, but I don’t get it.
Kara: Netflix should hand out survivor badges. Seriously.
Chris: Downloads live forever without scratches.
CK: I love your blog. As part of my hoard, we have the old Fleischer Superman toons. LOVE them. They’re wonderful and quiet, and could never be done now.
Rita: I feel deaf in one ear, and stupid in the other, but I don’t get it.
Kara: Netflix should hand out survivor badges. Seriously.
Chris: Downloads live forever without scratches.
WD,
Yeesh, don’t make me feel responsible for your hearing! OK – I’ll spell it out. You left a comment on my post today, which I greatly appreciated. I threw a “quote” at you. I adore you – I want you to succeed as an author. So, read the quote I threw at you FIRST. Then READ THE SECOND QUOTE. They seem the same. They are not. The difference is negligible, yet if one is to attribute a direct quote, it should be the ACTUAL words of the quote – not a close approximation. That’s how authors get into trouble. Please, read the first quote. The read the second quote. If you STILL don’t have your hearing back, I’ll email the reponse to you.
:-)
Rita
WD,
Yeesh, don’t make me feel responsible for your hearing! OK – I’ll spell it out. You left a comment on my post today, which I greatly appreciated. I threw a “quote” at you. I adore you – I want you to succeed as an author. So, read the quote I threw at you FIRST. Then READ THE SECOND QUOTE. They seem the same. They are not. The difference is negligible, yet if one is to attribute a direct quote, it should be the ACTUAL words of the quote – not a close approximation. That’s how authors get into trouble. Please, read the first quote. The read the second quote. If you STILL don’t have your hearing back, I’ll email the reponse to you.
:-)
Rita
No downloads for me… not until they start captioning them. Another battle to fight… to think, I remember searching every VHS movie in the stores waiting for re-released musicals to come out in captions. Some did. And some didn’t. Now, you can hardly find DVDs without captions and subtitles.
It’s 1985 all over again except instead of TV and movie captions, we’re dealing with online and download video captions.
No downloads for me… not until they start captioning them. Another battle to fight… to think, I remember searching every VHS movie in the stores waiting for re-released musicals to come out in captions. Some did. And some didn’t. Now, you can hardly find DVDs without captions and subtitles.
It’s 1985 all over again except instead of TV and movie captions, we’re dealing with online and download video captions.
I hate clutter with passion. I must say that the way technology enables us to get rid of clutter, or to avoid it in the first place, is AWESOME.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..How To Lose 100 Subscribers in 4 Days
I hate clutter with passion. I must say that the way technology enables us to get rid of clutter, or to avoid it in the first place, is AWESOME.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..How To Lose 100 Subscribers in 4 Days
Eh? Do tell.
I collect nothing. I purge everything regularly, like some defense against illusion or ossification. Not books. Not movies–physical or otherwise.
Michael Martine, Blog Consultants last blog post..Recent Blog Launch? Submit Your New Blog Here and Jumpstart Your Blog Traffic!
Eh? Do tell.
I collect nothing. I purge everything regularly, like some defense against illusion or ossification. Not books. Not movies–physical or otherwise.
Michael Martine, Blog Consultants last blog post..Recent Blog Launch? Submit Your New Blog Here and Jumpstart Your Blog Traffic!
Rita: I got it. Thanks, and a double shot of gracias for your unfailing support.
Meryl: I don’t know this for sure, but I believe you can find text files for downloads that have the subtitles, then insert them into the downloads. It would be pretty annoying, though. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until their an obvious inclusion. I know what you mean. I like the subtitles. I usually have them on in Spanish to help me study.
Vered: Me too. I’m over it, and can’t wait to clean house. I have tons of books, movies, music, etc. All on the hard drive.
Michael: “like some defense against illusion or ossification.”
Beautiful sentence, and I envy you. I wish I could do the same.
Rita: I got it. Thanks, and a double shot of gracias for your unfailing support.
Meryl: I don’t know this for sure, but I believe you can find text files for downloads that have the subtitles, then insert them into the downloads. It would be pretty annoying, though. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until their an obvious inclusion. I know what you mean. I like the subtitles. I usually have them on in Spanish to help me study.
Vered: Me too. I’m over it, and can’t wait to clean house. I have tons of books, movies, music, etc. All on the hard drive.
Michael: “like some defense against illusion or ossification.”
Beautiful sentence, and I envy you. I wish I could do the same.
LOL!
I had a friend like that once. I swear this guy had a closet full of dvd’s. It wasn’t a big closet, but it was a decent sized closet, and it a was chock full of those things.
It was so bad, he bought one of those build-it-yourself closets to put his clothes in, which happened to be smaller than the one the dvd’s were in.
Oy.
Great story Writer Dad!
Luis Grosss last blog post..8 Most Popular Posts Over The Summer
LOL!
I had a friend like that once. I swear this guy had a closet full of dvd’s. It wasn’t a big closet, but it was a decent sized closet, and it a was chock full of those things.
It was so bad, he bought one of those build-it-yourself closets to put his clothes in, which happened to be smaller than the one the dvd’s were in.
Oy.
Great story Writer Dad!
Luis Grosss last blog post..8 Most Popular Posts Over The Summer
Hi Writer Dad – there must be something wrong with me, and my partner, we don’t very often watch movies! I’ve never been big at “going to the pictures”, and though we went through a phase of watching about one DVD a week, it has passed and we just never get around to it. He even bought a movie from Amazon in the US, and it arrived here in Australia about 2 months ago, and we haven’t watched it yet!
Robins last blog post..Think And It Shall Be So
Hi Writer Dad – there must be something wrong with me, and my partner, we don’t very often watch movies! I’ve never been big at “going to the pictures”, and though we went through a phase of watching about one DVD a week, it has passed and we just never get around to it. He even bought a movie from Amazon in the US, and it arrived here in Australia about 2 months ago, and we haven’t watched it yet!
Robins last blog post..Think And It Shall Be So
LOL! I so feel this! I too am an avid collector, of both films and music. I have to hold myself back. It’s so much fun to have lots of choices at your fingertips, to suit your every mood. Thanks for a most entertaining read, WD.
Jennys last blog post..Greenville On Monday, Charlotte On Tuesday …
LOL! I so feel this! I too am an avid collector, of both films and music. I have to hold myself back. It’s so much fun to have lots of choices at your fingertips, to suit your every mood. Thanks for a most entertaining read, WD.
Jennys last blog post..Greenville On Monday, Charlotte On Tuesday …
I’m totally a book hoarder. It’s unhealthy. When people come over and see how many copies of Alice in Wonderland I have I must admit, it’s a little embarrassing.
Jenny, Bloggesss last blog post..This is the third post I’ve written today and I want a medal (alternate title – How to deal with trolls)
I’m totally a book hoarder. It’s unhealthy. When people come over and see how many copies of Alice in Wonderland I have I must admit, it’s a little embarrassing.
Jenny, Bloggesss last blog post..This is the third post I’ve written today and I want a medal (alternate title – How to deal with trolls)
HI WD. I have just subscribed to your feed after the Remarkablogger link from http://www.michaelmartine.com I do not get to make the decisions on buying films anymore…the kids get first choice. I am more of a wine man than a film buff.
But I enjoyed your blog especially the wonderful imagery….’a long box, about the size of a hunchback’s coffin’.
It does make you think!!
Hope to keep reading and enjoying your blog. Cheers H
hamishwms last blog post..Chateau Monty on TV tonight
HI WD. I have just subscribed to your feed after the Remarkablogger link from http://www.michaelmartine.com I do not get to make the decisions on buying films anymore…the kids get first choice. I am more of a wine man than a film buff.
But I enjoyed your blog especially the wonderful imagery….’a long box, about the size of a hunchback’s coffin’.
It does make you think!!
Hope to keep reading and enjoying your blog. Cheers H
hamishwms last blog post..Chateau Monty on TV tonight
Netflix definitely helped my fiance’s hoarding habit as well. If there’s ever a 12-step program to break the habit, Netflix should be prescribed! LOL!