“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”
~Mark Twain
Yesterday we returned to my grandfather’s farewell. Today, I’d like to visit some words, written a while before my grandfather passed.
During the last few years of Papí’s life, I drove to visit him every Saturday. In the final month, it was a hospital bed where he lay, struggling for breath. At the time, I was writing simple rhymes designed for children. I’d hold Papi’s hand and read stories from a thin red binder; the same notebook I gave to my father for Father’s Day when I first told him I was writing.
Every week, Papí would lift his head from the sheets as I entered the room.
“Are you published yet?” he’d ask.
“No, Papí,” I’d say. “Not yet.”
Thankfully, on the weekend before his last, I said, “Guess what, Papí? I have a publisher, and they want to publish everything.”
Besides the one about Santa, that might be the only lie I’ve ever felt comfortable with. It’s certainly the only one I’ve ever been proud of.
At his eulogy, this was the song I sang:
Jose Ramos, Daddy, Papí. A man impossible to copy,
with a one and only inclination to live his life with such elation,
joy and mischief, mirth, and cheer; too much for one century, minus a year.
Papí was gentle, and unbelievably funny. He valued fellowship far over money.
He always looked forward, without regret, and never abandoned a window to bet.
He meant so much to me in his immovable place. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see his face.
Ever since the time I was small, a sassy little know it all,
he and Honey guided me, to the best that I could be.
Every weekend of my youth, with conduct perhaps a little uncouth,
they took me in and they taught me well. But more than just to speak and spell.
They taught other messages, a lot more essential, like meeting and making my moral potential.
They trained me not to cheat or lie, to never quit and always try,
to speak my mind and wait my turn, to show compassion and concern,
to all my neighbors lend them a hand, or maybe an ear to understand.
The most significant lesson that I learned, a powerful example burned
(in my mind like I was branded), they both taught me single handed
how to treat my only other – as though the world could hold no other
one who could ever hope to compare, no matter who, and no matter where.
They loved each other without doubt, without dearth, and without drought.
Even though I was only a little kid, I know exactly how much it did.
It showed me what to want from life, then led me toward my perfect wife.
If I could ever travel back, take the years and flip the stack,
I’d look them in their younger eyes and thank them true for being wise
and providing me a perfect picture to follow like a written scripture.
I grew up, and added years, a bigger nose and longer ears.
By the time that I was mature, walking real tall and talking real sure.
I saw Papí from a different position, with what I’d already seen plus another addition.
It’s not the years in our life but the life in our years, the gray in our hair and the salt in our tears.
The smiles we carry and people we meet, the flavors of life from sour to sweet.
Papi’s a man who met wisdom with age, by living his life like he lived it on stage.
I’ll never forget him if I’m a hundred and five. In my heart I will always keep Papi alive.
Writer Dad
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Raise your hand if you’re doing too many things at once. I’m talking about it at Eric’s today. Check it out.
About Sean Platt
A lie told to comfort someone is not a sin, in my view.
I’m sure I’ve lied much less virtuously than that…, but no one knows what those lies were.
Interesting post!
Mike Goads last blog post..Part of the joy of photography is sharing! and…
A lie told to comfort someone is not a sin, in my view.
I’m sure I’ve lied much less virtuously than that…, but no one knows what those lies were.
Interesting post!
Mike Goads last blog post..Part of the joy of photography is sharing! and…
Hi Writer Dad – What beautiful words. I especially like, “it’s not the years in our life but the life in our years…”. That is SO true.
Your Papi lives through you and your words.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..It’s All About Me – Part 3
Hi Writer Dad – What beautiful words. I especially like, “it’s not the years in our life but the life in our years…”. That is SO true.
Your Papi lives through you and your words.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..It’s All About Me – Part 3
That is a very moving tribute. Beautiful, Sean. Simply beautiful. Like Barbara, I loved these lines the most:
It’s not the years in our life but the life in our years, the gray in our hair and the salt in our tears.
The smiles we carry and people we meet, the flavors of life from sour to sweet.
I wish I’d written them. I surely do feel them.
thank you,
dave
Blogger Dads last blog post..Our baby story part five: Hello, world
That is a very moving tribute. Beautiful, Sean. Simply beautiful. Like Barbara, I loved these lines the most:
It’s not the years in our life but the life in our years, the gray in our hair and the salt in our tears.
The smiles we carry and people we meet, the flavors of life from sour to sweet.
I wish I’d written them. I surely do feel them.
thank you,
dave
Blogger Dads last blog post..Our baby story part five: Hello, world
It’s a sad day everywhere on the blogosphere…
Moving words, truly moving.
It’s a sad day everywhere on the blogosphere…
Moving words, truly moving.
I’ve enjoyed these last two posts as they’ve given me a moment to reflect on both sets of grandparents who were so much a part of my life in different ways. I wrote the eulogy for my grandmother and I’ll be taking time to revisit it today.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Kindergarten Hazmat Art
I’ve enjoyed these last two posts as they’ve given me a moment to reflect on both sets of grandparents who were so much a part of my life in different ways. I wrote the eulogy for my grandmother and I’ll be taking time to revisit it today.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Kindergarten Hazmat Art
A wonderful tribute, Sean. You make me wish I had known the man. But as Barbara mentioned, I think I already know a part of him as I get to know you more. :-) Eric.
Eric Hamms last blog post..Living Success: One Step At A Time
A wonderful tribute, Sean. You make me wish I had known the man. But as Barbara mentioned, I think I already know a part of him as I get to know you more. :-) Eric.
Eric Hamms last blog post..Living Success: One Step At A Time
I, for the first time, am speechless. Your Papi sounds like a wonderful man, much like my grandfather was. You are very luck to have had a man of that callibur in your life, and I have absolutely no doubt that he will forever be a part of you both in memory and spirit.
Sals last blog post..Full Moons and Friday the 13th
I, for the first time, am speechless. Your Papi sounds like a wonderful man, much like my grandfather was. You are very luck to have had a man of that callibur in your life, and I have absolutely no doubt that he will forever be a part of you both in memory and spirit.
Sals last blog post..Full Moons and Friday the 13th
Mike: Fair enough. It was comfort indeed. He seemed to take it rather personally that I wasn’t published. He always looked so disappointed. I wanted to see him happy, and I knew we were running out of time.
Barbara: And my nose.
Blogger Dad: You are welcome Dave, and thank you as always.
Matthew: Thanks Matthew. Why is it a sad day in the blogoshphere?
CK Lunchbox: That’s sweet that you’ll make time to revisit. I think that appreciating what came before us helps to mindful of what is coming.
Eric: He was a lot like me but shorter, and bilingual. Also, he loved candy.
Sal: He is a part of me. He always made sure I knew how proud he was, no matter how old either one of us ever got.
Mike: Fair enough. It was comfort indeed. He seemed to take it rather personally that I wasn’t published. He always looked so disappointed. I wanted to see him happy, and I knew we were running out of time.
Barbara: And my nose.
Blogger Dad: You are welcome Dave, and thank you as always.
Matthew: Thanks Matthew. Why is it a sad day in the blogoshphere?
CK Lunchbox: That’s sweet that you’ll make time to revisit. I think that appreciating what came before us helps to mindful of what is coming.
Eric: He was a lot like me but shorter, and bilingual. Also, he loved candy.
Sal: He is a part of me. He always made sure I knew how proud he was, no matter how old either one of us ever got.
Wow, Sean. Powerful. You can really feel how much you care for him. He was obviously a great man to make you feel so, and I admire your tribute to honour that.
stephs last blog post..What I Know For Sure
Wow, Sean. Powerful. You can really feel how much you care for him. He was obviously a great man to make you feel so, and I admire your tribute to honour that.
stephs last blog post..What I Know For Sure
That was just awe inspiring. And-I am raising my hand to the doing too many things part too! Off to see what you have to say at Eric’s
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..Teeter-Totter Tribulations
That was just awe inspiring. And-I am raising my hand to the doing too many things part too! Off to see what you have to say at Eric’s
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..Teeter-Totter Tribulations
That’s great you got to tell him you were published. I bet that made him really proud and happy. All my grandpas are gone, only grandmas are lift for me.
orlunds last blog post..Share The LUV.
That’s great you got to tell him you were published. I bet that made him really proud and happy. All my grandpas are gone, only grandmas are lift for me.
orlunds last blog post..Share The LUV.
” Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see his face.” — One way to never forget
“It’s not the years in our life but the life in our years” — I have to agree with everyone here, this is a great line!
BTW, you kind of look like the guy from “Everyone Loves Raymond” in that picture!
Jim Gaudets last blog post..Operation Clean Sweep [Digg]
” Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see his face.” — One way to never forget
“It’s not the years in our life but the life in our years” — I have to agree with everyone here, this is a great line!
BTW, you kind of look like the guy from “Everyone Loves Raymond” in that picture!
Jim Gaudets last blog post..Operation Clean Sweep [Digg]
WD,
That was simply beautiful. I’m sure your Papí was smiling in heaven when you sang it.
Ians last blog post..Blu-ray at $150 By Christmas
WD,
That was simply beautiful. I’m sure your Papí was smiling in heaven when you sang it.
Ians last blog post..Blu-ray at $150 By Christmas
I think it was a beautiful lie. It was KINDNESS.
The poem brought tears to my eyes.
The photo… he looks so frail in that photo. It makes me so sad that this is how life ends. Well, I wrote about it before and people hate when I say it, but life’s cruel. No one can convince me otherwise.
I think it was a beautiful lie. It was KINDNESS.
The poem brought tears to my eyes.
The photo… he looks so frail in that photo. It makes me so sad that this is how life ends. Well, I wrote about it before and people hate when I say it, but life’s cruel. No one can convince me otherwise.
That was touching. It’s so hard to give up the ones we love. Makes me wonder why this life was created with death included, but then, I’ve been grieving for months now after losing two little loved pets. I only really knew one of my four grandparents, and her loss was a big one. I hope your memories of abuelito Papi will comfort you. They’re certainly there inside to guide you.
Dots last blog post..Non-Haiku Monday
That was touching. It’s so hard to give up the ones we love. Makes me wonder why this life was created with death included, but then, I’ve been grieving for months now after losing two little loved pets. I only really knew one of my four grandparents, and her loss was a big one. I hope your memories of abuelito Papi will comfort you. They’re certainly there inside to guide you.
Dots last blog post..Non-Haiku Monday
Wow,
I’m a 17 year old boy from Holland, don’t ask me why I’m on this website. But I think your action was great.
Wow, I hope I can do such a thing in my life..
Scaevolas last blog post.."Zijn jullie wel wakker"
Wow,
I’m a 17 year old boy from Holland, don’t ask me why I’m on this website. But I think your action was great.
Wow, I hope I can do such a thing in my life..
Scaevolas last blog post.."Zijn jullie wel wakker"
What a wonderful tribute to your “Papi”, Sean. Your words are very moving.
Lances last blog post..At One Hundred, Life Is…
What a wonderful tribute to your “Papi”, Sean. Your words are very moving.
Lances last blog post..At One Hundred, Life Is…
Hi Seany, that picture makes me want to cry… You brought so much joy to Papi, especially in those last couple of years since my mom passed. What some of your readers probably don’t know is how vital he was, working every day at his shop until the age of 96, and still managing to go to the track to hang with his buddies after work twice a week! He was the proverbial big fish in the little pond and is loved and missed by many. He only lost spirit and health after his “honey” was gone. How many people can be married 72 years and still be in love? I think you and Cindy can.
Love ya,
Mom.
Hi Seany, that picture makes me want to cry… You brought so much joy to Papi, especially in those last couple of years since my mom passed. What some of your readers probably don’t know is how vital he was, working every day at his shop until the age of 96, and still managing to go to the track to hang with his buddies after work twice a week! He was the proverbial big fish in the little pond and is loved and missed by many. He only lost spirit and health after his “honey” was gone. How many people can be married 72 years and still be in love? I think you and Cindy can.
Love ya,
Mom.
Hi Sean: It sounds like your Papi led a full and happy life and that you were very lucky to have him in your life.
Hi Sean: It sounds like your Papi led a full and happy life and that you were very lucky to have him in your life.
Both my grandfathers died before I was born but if I’d met them and I grew up with them I would have written a song for them too.
To have been able to tell Papi that you were to be published was no doubt one of the best moments of your life.
This was very moving.
Writer Mom, 72 years!!!! Amazing.
Jannies last blog post..A Jannie by any other name…
Both my grandfathers died before I was born but if I’d met them and I grew up with them I would have written a song for them too.
To have been able to tell Papi that you were to be published was no doubt one of the best moments of your life.
This was very moving.
Writer Mom, 72 years!!!! Amazing.
Jannies last blog post..A Jannie by any other name…
I’ve given two eulogies in the last two years. The hardest thing i have EVER done, but the greatest gift I could have ever given….
I’ve given two eulogies in the last two years. The hardest thing i have EVER done, but the greatest gift I could have ever given….
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
What a treasure to have such a person in your life! And what a gift in return that you can write so eloquently about everything he meant to you.
apathy lounges last blog post..Garanimals For Men: The Time Is Now
What a treasure to have such a person in your life! And what a gift in return that you can write so eloquently about everything he meant to you.
apathy lounges last blog post..Garanimals For Men: The Time Is Now
Sean,
I’m so sorry for your loss. This post was beautiful, and what was even more beautiful was your mom’s comment.
Rest in Peace, Papi.
(((Hugs)))
Mishelle
Sean,
I’m so sorry for your loss. This post was beautiful, and what was even more beautiful was your mom’s comment.
Rest in Peace, Papi.
(((Hugs)))
Mishelle
Steph: Everybody loved Papi. He was, and is, an inspiration.
Wendi: Thanks for the compliment, and for raising your hand. Too many things leads directly to the law of diminishing returns, right? I hope you enjoyed the other post.
Orlund: I have no grandparents left. He was the last one. I was lucky to have them for as long as I did, and I’m lucky that my children got to meet them as well.
Jim Gaudet: I’ve heard that a lot. Also, Zach Braff from Scrubs. It’s funny, I’ve never once heard Brad Pitt.
Ian: I actually only read it. If I’d sang it he probably would’ve cringed, and then fallen through a cloud.
Vered: The photo’s two years old. He came to our house for Thanksgiving, but didn’t ever leave the couch. He did drink wine with me though, which was awesome. It was our final drink together.
Dot: I often have those, “What would Papi do?” moments. Well before he passed, and I’m sure they’ll never leave.
Scaevola: Why are you on this website?
Lance: Thanks. He would have loved the attention.
Mom: Very sweet, Mom. 96. I always think it was 92, but you’re totally right. That is crazy. I don’t ever plan to leave my house once I turn fifty. He was like a blue whale in a swimming pool, Papi. I may have given a lot to Papi, but he always gave it right back. He didn’t leave the world without telling me precisely what he thought of me, and everyone else. He was definitely one of the best ever.
Marelisa: His life was swollen with good. I was exceedingly fortunate that we were as close as we were.
Jannie: It would have felt awesome if it were true. At the time I felt guilty, but when he passed soon after, my guilt turned to happiness.
Vodka: True, that. Getting up in front of everyone was definitely hard, but it would have been a lot harder not to say a thing.
Apathy: Writing for Papi is easy. I know he would’ve loved the attention. He always pretended like he didn’t, but we all knew he did.
Secret Agent Mama: Thanks. My mom’s comment was quite sweet. Just between you, me, and about two dozen comment subscribers, she’s not that sweet at the dinner table. : > )
Steph: Everybody loved Papi. He was, and is, an inspiration.
Wendi: Thanks for the compliment, and for raising your hand. Too many things leads directly to the law of diminishing returns, right? I hope you enjoyed the other post.
Orlund: I have no grandparents left. He was the last one. I was lucky to have them for as long as I did, and I’m lucky that my children got to meet them as well.
Jim Gaudet: I’ve heard that a lot. Also, Zach Braff from Scrubs. It’s funny, I’ve never once heard Brad Pitt.
Ian: I actually only read it. If I’d sang it he probably would’ve cringed, and then fallen through a cloud.
Vered: The photo’s two years old. He came to our house for Thanksgiving, but didn’t ever leave the couch. He did drink wine with me though, which was awesome. It was our final drink together.
Dot: I often have those, “What would Papi do?” moments. Well before he passed, and I’m sure they’ll never leave.
Scaevola: Why are you on this website?
Lance: Thanks. He would have loved the attention.
Mom: Very sweet, Mom. 96. I always think it was 92, but you’re totally right. That is crazy. I don’t ever plan to leave my house once I turn fifty. He was like a blue whale in a swimming pool, Papi. I may have given a lot to Papi, but he always gave it right back. He didn’t leave the world without telling me precisely what he thought of me, and everyone else. He was definitely one of the best ever.
Marelisa: His life was swollen with good. I was exceedingly fortunate that we were as close as we were.
Jannie: It would have felt awesome if it were true. At the time I felt guilty, but when he passed soon after, my guilt turned to happiness.
Vodka: True, that. Getting up in front of everyone was definitely hard, but it would have been a lot harder not to say a thing.
Apathy: Writing for Papi is easy. I know he would’ve loved the attention. He always pretended like he didn’t, but we all knew he did.
Secret Agent Mama: Thanks. My mom’s comment was quite sweet. Just between you, me, and about two dozen comment subscribers, she’s not that sweet at the dinner table. : > )