Sure Mom, You Can Have a Guest Post.

“When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.”

~The Talmud

My grandfather happened to pass, the day I told my family I’d started writing.  Every Saturday for the last few months of his life, I sat next to him in bed and read him my rhymes.  At his funeral, I read a rhyme I wrote for him.

The following Wednesday, my mom came to dinner with a page of prose to match the piece she’d heard.  Her tip of the bonnet to me.

When I told her I was planning a post on the power of praise, she asked if she could publish the poem she’d penned.

“Um… sure,” I said, preceding a twitter of nervous laughter.

One day, I’m certain, my mom will join us in Blogopolis.  This will be good for her, and save me from random phone calls explaining the events of Xena, Warrior Princess, Angel, and Nip Tuck. Actually, now that I think about it, twitter would be right up my mom’s alley.

Without further ado, here’s Grammy:

When Sean was just a little guy,
he was the apple of my eye.
My first, my baby, my pride, my joy.
But oh my God, was he all boy!
He certainly put me through my paces,
with mischievous acts and silly faces.
Then along came a sister, we saw as a thrill;
he was a rascally Jack to her sweet little Jill.
A brand new playmate, the perfect target,
for pranks that would daily challenge Margaret.
When teachers called me to complain
about behavior quite insane,
I took it all with a granule of salt,
never wanting to launch parental assault.
Life is not black and life is not white.
It’s many shades of grey in my sight.
Kids will be bad, and kids will be good,
but kids should also be understood.
Sean was fun, a total charmer,
but true in heart, a never harmer.
I knew that in spite of his wit and his spunk,
immature actions and juvenile junk,
I saw the spirit of someone great
who could be a father and perfect mate.
Take some maturity, add on the years,
all life’s experience and some of its tears.
Sprinkle some patience, then you will see,
the outstanding man he was destined to be.
As I have grown in age and in girth,
I have never regretted once giving birth
to a rascally, bright, and challenging child.
Sometimes tender, occasionally wild.
He’s grown to be more than I could expect;
honest, straightforward, mature, and direct.
Still ten years old when we are alone,
but wise beyond years when needed at home.
His grandma and grandpa look down in pride
at the man he’s become, past history aside.
He certainly gave them a run for their money,
but now walks the path of his Papí and Honey.

Writer Dad

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In an upcoming post Writer Dad’s gonna rap about the grueling difficulties of a good edit.. and how they’re exponentially worse when doing them with your mother.

The Truth in Our Make-Believe

Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment. 

~Ira Gassen, Author

Do you remember when you were little and you used to play pretend?  You had a chariot pulled by a team of dinosaurs wearing purple capes, and a flying monkey friend named Monkeechy…

No?

Oh… um… never mind.

Well you still played in the Land of Make-Believe, right?  Did you have fun?  Of course you did.  Nonsense is the best.

That, at its core, is writing.  Of course, it’s a really long, drawn out game of pretend, where you have to keep changing the rules and deciding which imaginary characters aren’t allowed to play with you anymore, but the train pulls into the imagination station just the same.

And not just fiction.  This works for non-fiction as well.  

Some of the best posts I read are those where you can feel the author stepping slightly outside his skin, toying with the medium.

In fiction, this is currency.  Fantastic worlds, populated by impossible beings, or suburbs bursting with friends and neighbors; both are born in the brain, no different than Monkeechy.

Last year, while driving, a line popped inside my head, followed by a second to match.  

They were funny.  

Laughing, I pulled to the side of the road and searched through the mini-van for something to write on.  This was in the dark ages of last Winter, when the thought of being a writer was almost abstract.

A napkin… too crumply.  

A wrapper from an old cheeseburger (gross, Writer Dad) …. too waxy.  

A receipt… too small.

My hand!  

No, too sweaty.

I pulled back into traffic and started repeating lines.  By the time I was on the freeway, I was singing a four stanza song to myself.  

Seven and a half minutes later, I exited the freeway, struggling to remember a pile of lines, quickly evaporating from my mind.

I raced passed a wide eyed Daisy.  ”I need a minute,” I mumbled.

I scribbled.  

Stopped.  

Then stared at my paper with a smile the size a banana.  

But we had work to do, and if I wanted rave reviews for my ditty, then the worst possible time to present it would be during any one of the six-hundred and twenty-four minutes left before bedtime.  

Six-hundred and twenty-four minutes later…

“This is really good.”

“Really?”  I don’t say this as much as squeal it in a voice at least three octaves above the baseline needed to sire children.

“It sounds like you.”

That story was different than the few that had come before.  It was playful and confident, with a more natural voice.  

About a week later, I took the story and shifted it to the perspective of a ten year old boy.

The ten year old I was, voiced by the man (and dad) of many more years I am today.

That story is not the one I have for you today.  But it is related.

The boy is named Lucas Bright.  His stories are short, with something to say.  Today’s ditty is his introduction.  

Last Friday’s tale was written with purpose, this Friday’s with mirth.

There’s a teaser below.  If you decide to download, you may do whatever you’d like with the wee-Book; copy and pass as much as you want.  It’s yours.  It’s two dollars (a Venti black coffee).  

If you bought The Eighth Wonder of the World, it’s in your inbox already.

Last Friday was awesome; let’s make this Friday awesome and one.

Writer Dad

 

My name is Lucas Bright.  Grown-ups say I’m smart.  They taught me to ask questions.  

I’m gonna go ahead and start…

 

Last Week’s Story: The Eighth Wonder of the World

But Daddy

“Don’t wait to make your son a great man – make him a great boy.”  

~Author Unknown

So the other day, Mia and I were…  

Dad.”

“Hold on buddy, I’m telling a story.”

But I have to tell you something.”

“Okay, but hurry.  This post isn’t gonna write itself.”

“It’s my turn.

“What do you mean?  Your turn for what?”

“You talked about Mia last day.  It’s my turn.”

“No, Max.  Yesterday I wrote about language, and how we learn…”

“No Daddy, you talked about Mia’s school.  You always talk about her.  You never talk about me.”

“That’s not true, Max.”

Yes, Daddy.  It is.”

I see what you’re saying, Buddy, but I did a whole post about you right when I first started.  Remember?”

“I know how to count, Daddy.  This is just like all the pictures of Mia in iphoto.

“… Um… Well, do you want to watch a movie?”

“Daddy…

“It’s just that you’re such a good boy, Max.  And people like conflict.  Mia gives me more to talk about.  You know how Daddy keeps working on his book?  It’s because there’s not enough conflict.”

“Maybe you could work on the book instead of talking about Mia.

“You’re right, Max.  Come here and give me a hug.”

I know exactly what to say. 

My son Max is the nicest person I’ve ever met.  

Yes, I know.  Being his father should reduce my opinion to little more than an infomercial intruding from another room, but really, if you met him, I’m sure you’d agree. 

He says thank you for everything, from a donut before school (a rarity, I promise) to a shot in the arm from the doctor (I’ll tell you that story some other time). 

He admits when he’s tired, and tells me at least ten times a day that he loves me, that I’m his best friend, or both. 

He will share any toy with anyone, without so much as a thought to slow him. 

He is not yet familiar with the worst of humanity, and still believes in everything from Santa Clause to the Easter Bunny without the thinnest wrinkle of suspicion. 

He is a teacher’s dream and would make any parent proud. 

What about the conflict?

Well, thankfully, he isn’t perfect. 

If our rascal was perfect now, Daisy and I would be living in dread of the moment the rug would be yanked from under our feet; terrified that the days were numbered until our little boy was swallowed by the monster of adolescence, causing us to rescind every kind word we’d ever gushed on his behalf. 

No, Max may be impossibly nice, but he can also be quite the little rascal, with just enough pesky conduct to assure us that none of his boy parts are broken. 

His three most reassuring behaviors:

  • Max has the innate ability to lead (manipulate) just about any child (no more than two years his senior) into doing exactly what he wants at any given time.  This is a jedi like gift, but he has not always chosen to use it for good. 
  • He has the ability to migrate from riotous laughter to sullen pout in the thinnest slice of a second (a performance that works exponentially better on Daisy than it does on me, though the opposite I’m sure is true with Mia). 
  • Max has the occasional, yet unwavering conviction that he is in charge of drafting the house rules, and that everyone else must have simply missed the memo. 

But even in their totality, or packed inside a single day, Max really is the most delightful boy I could ever imagine – generous, and funny, and nice.  

Seriously, Max, if you were any less of a rascal, I’d be searching for my receipt. 

Writer Dad