How to Easily Keep Your Family Connected in 20 Minutes a Day

How to Keep Your Family Connected

I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.”
~Dan Wilcox, M*A*S*H

the best part of the dayWhat if I told you about an easy to manage method for keeping you and your children so connected, they will be far less likely to unplug, even when settled beneath the stormiest clouds of childhood.

In the interest of full disclosure: I do not yet have two teenagers. You may call me starry eyed, but it is my emphatic belief that though the bonds in our house will certainly mature, they will never lose the core of what we have built from the beginning; I find it impossible to imagine that concrete poured deep into consistent habits will crumble, even when shoved up against the inevitable earthquakes of adolescence that can so easily tear families asunder.

The many minutes of our lives are often only loyal subjects to the whims of our daily schedules. Yet no matter the flurry or fury of a calendar week, it is rare to not find our family breaking bread and passing it across the table during our day’s final meal.

Every day needs an anchor – a dividing line to distinguish one sunset from the next; a manner to measure that breath that exists only between exhale and inhale. In our family it is never enough to simply parse our table into four sections and allow the seconds to elapse while dinner music does the heavy lifting. We listen to dinner music, but only as percussion. The melody of our future dinnertime memories drifts through the air alongside the shared details of our day.

It is there amid the easy comfort of automatic eye contact where the notes of our days harmonize into their singular song.

We rotate around the table, each of us in turn reciting the best and worst parts of our day – those moments that for better or worse drew distinction from that day’s light. Best and worst are given equal billing, as we teach our children that only by experiencing the sour of life can they truly savor its sweet. There are few better avenues for getting to know your child then giving them a stage to stand on, then fading into the background as they articulate those things that are most meaningful to them.

We model honesty. If one of my children has done something to cast a shadow across my day, I have no difficulty letting them know it was my worst part. We expect the same candor from them. I like hearing my four or seven year say things such as, “the worst part of my day was my behavior before rest time. I could have done better,” while never once shattering the fix of their gaze.

I enjoy this not because I like to revel in the shortcomings of my offspring, but because I feel as though this type of honest self reflection is rare. Catching it in childhood is like catching a caterpillar, not near as difficult as catching it once emerged from the chrysalis of adolescence.

Cindy and I were recently wondering out loud whether the best part/worst part tradition was one we passed to our children with intention. Neither of us could honestly commit. It was something we have done together since always. We can’t put too fine a point on it, but we know we’ve been doing it since sometime before we started living together but after we knew we always would.

By the time Mia was two, the best part and worst part had three even slices. Max, who looks to his sister to learn just about everything, was cooing on cue before his answers were whistling through a freshly cut set of teeth. We love how they’ve embraced the habit and hope to see it spread to the next generation. So far so good.

The other day I was absent for dinner, my presence required at an orientation for the parents of incoming kindergartners at Max’s new school. I returned home late, but Max wasn’t quite ready to bid farewell to the moon. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” I could hear his rat-a-tat-tat as I ascended the stairs. “We did not do the best and worst part of our day,” he declared, fingers in the air and eyebrows crawling together.

“You’re absolutely right,” I said, grabbing three of his digits and leading him toward the bedroom. “What was the worst part of your day?”

“That you weren’t here for dinner,” he looked down.

“How about your best part?”

“That you’re home now and I get to tell you.” His smile spread and I tucked him in with a sigh.

Writer Dad

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Necessary to ME

Necessary to Me

“A marriage makes 2 fractional lives a whole; it gives to 2 purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to 2 questioning natures a reason for living and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.”

~ Mark Twain

platts16bSean and I sacredly preserve the privacies of our home, family and state of heart. Our relationship thrives because we are candid with one another and our minds grow and blend together in a contented love that never allows the sun to set on moments of alienation or dissonance in thought. Occasionally we agree to disagree, but most often we find ourselves in harmony.

The quiet of our love calms the stresses of life. His gentle ways and brilliance shine upon our family and he has taught me that time indeed does heal all wounds.

My soul is thrilled by his passion for life and when I am weary his presence is the haven I seek that is sacred and mine. Our life together is a continuous building and shaping of communication; a deep understanding that treasures yesterday, today and tomorrow.

He is necessary to me.

The key to the love we model for our children is an understanding and comprehension not only of the spoken word, but the unspoken gestures that say so much. We learn from our mistakes, always forgive, and never sleep on a pillow of misunderstanding or cross words.

He is necessary to me.

Our dreams are interwoven and I am blessed with his life long honor, compassion, and integrity. I carry them all like necessities in my backpack through the longest journey of a wonderful life. Merrily we sail together side by side, anchored in our intentions, our children serving as a tight crew to persevere through everything hand in hand.

He is necessary to me.

He is the perfect flower I carefully picked, the lucky 4 leaf clover I hold in my pocket, and the most dedicated, loving person I have ever had the priviledge to know.

His presence is necessary to me, like breath gives us life. I am grateful to have a partner to teach and love our beautiful children, to create and dream with and to know with certainty that coming together was the beginning, but keeping it all together and working in collaboration is the success that makes our life as sweet and open as the morning glories that wind through the bars of our fence.

Sean inspires me daily with his work ethic, brings me to tears with his words and holds my heart in the palm of his hand. Thank you Sean for giving me the mic this week, sharing your readers and holding my hand as always. It is a pleasure to work with you, but most of all it is an honor to be your wife and the mother of your children.

You are necessary to me.

Cindy

To Strengthen the Character of Our Memory

2503509353_efce22b8961I could never count the hours I spent as a child running around the shopping center that housed my parent’s store, hiding and seeking with my sister as well as my own self. That shopping center was a playground that granted us clearly set boundaries alongside nearly limitless freedom.

I could never enumerate the myriad ways in which I was shaped in these millions of minutes. Though some day I may sit down and sketch some of it out, I could only hope to cover some of what I remember, and of course I can’t remember it all.

I do remember much of it, however, and here is a tiny nutshell in chronological order.

1) The bookstore that was right around the corner from my parent’s flower shop was home to nearly everything exciting I ever read prior to adolescence. School gave me plenty of functional text, but I found little of it engaging. It was the Walden Books that gave me Stephen King, Dragonlance, Anne Rice, Truly Tasteless Jokes, and a fresh stacks of comics each and every week. I would lose hours, holed up in the back of the bookstore turning pages and stopping only to check back in with my parents at the appointed time.

2) The movie theater that sat just a couple hundred yards away from the doors of the flower shop housed more cinematic memories than most childhoods could ever hope to hold. If my sister and I had saved our ticket stubs I could probably wallpaper my office. I believe it was in that theater, where I first saw E.T. and just about every Spielberg movie to follow for the next two decades, that my affection for a good flick blossomed into true love.

3) The ins and outs of that parking lot were where I learned the rules of the road. I was given both a car and driver’s license at sixteen with the understanding that I would drive directly to work at the end of each school day to take the store’s afternoon deliveries. I logged in hundreds of hours behind the wheel before I turned seventeen and knew my city so well, I rarely needed to map my deliveries.

4) The flower shop is where I grew up and learned to be me. When some unsavory souls tried to slip away in the middle of the night with a business my parents had spent my lifetime to build, shortly after I turned 18, my immediate instinct was to step into shoes that were way too big for my teenage feet. I learned to fill them quickly, and thus diverted the drift of my life for the next dozen years.

5) Working with my father and sister was a treasure. Though not every second was rainbows and roses, I loved working by their side for as long as I did, and wouldn’t exchange the experience for anything. My father is the hardest working person I’ve ever known and my sister arranges flowers in the most impossibly beautiful ways.

5) The tireless work. With few exceptions, I worked six days a week, 52 weeks a year for over a decade. My honeymoon felt long because I took a four day weekend. Though the exhausting schedule demanded by the flower business was not something I wished to carry with me well into my arthritic years, I am grateful for the life lessons learned. It was that unyielding schedule that allowed me to know I had the strength to do what has been necessary this last half year as I appeared as a ghostwriter from nowhere, attempting to move my family from A to B.

The one thing forever gone I will miss most of all is the sacred ground of the store itself.

My mother and father split when I was 17, yet even though my mother was no longer a cog within the store’s machinery, she could still be found within its walls. All four of us could, on rare occasions, still be seen together under that singular roof. Alas, this is no longer.

As time passed, finding the four of us together grew rarer and rarer, but the store was always the beacon that continued to bring us together. Now our unions will be even rarer, but perhaps that scarcity will only serve to strengthen the character of our memory.

Writer Dad

Happy Valentine’s Day

2339258030_d2b79eea51On a perfectly clear September day,
In a year two more than ten away,

What fortune began as a beautiful glance,
Compelled you next to take a chance,

By doing something unbelievably hard,
handing me your business card.

“I’m flattered,” I said, ”But have to be straight.
I would love to go out, though I really should wait.

Things aren’t quite finished in a situation that’s through
And I‘d like that door closed, before I start something new.”

“Life’s too short,” you said, “to spend any sad.
Call me for coffee. I’m sure you’ll be glad.”

Of course I responded though not right away.
I waited for six and then added a day,

Before sending you flowers, fragrant and white,
Beautifully bloomed and aimed to excite.

I sent no note with the flowers simply because
That wasn’t the kind of guy that I was.

But you wrote one to me, which I got in the mail.
You were doing what I’d done; you were leaving a trail.

Another two weeks until we spoke on the phone,
Each of us pacing our bedroom alone.

Thirty short hours we chatted that week,
Until getting the chance to finally speak -

Face to face on our very first date
(Dinner and a flick capped a lingering wait).

You were so nervous, you shook like a leaf;
Drifting through evening in raw disbelief.

That night was perfect, a dream coming true.
You understood me and I understood you.

It was right then we knew, that our time should be spent,
Happy together in the highest percent.

The next year flew by in nearly a blur,
Deep in exploration of who each of us were.

Going to movies and talking all night -
Impossible to stop with conversation in flight.

By the falling of leaves we were living as one,
Still packing each night with impossible fun.

We read lots of books, played lots of games,
Ate lots of pasta and kept fanning our flames.

We lived just like that for another three years;
Feeling so certain, harboring no fears.

We bought a few hundred square feet and even payed cash,
By emptying out our reciprocal stash.

We fixed our place up and then we moved in,
Ready for the next phase of our lives to begin.

We weren’t home too long when delight and surprise -
In nine months we’d welcome a new set of eyes.

Summer came quickly. We altered your name,
Though everything else stayed exactly the same.

The next nine months glowed with a beautiful mood,
Considerable questions and plenty of food.

Then a couple of weeks into the new year,
Our brand new baby was finally here.

“It’s a beautiful ballerina!” the doctor had said.
She wore your giant eyes in her petite little head.

She was perfect we knew from that very first day.
Nothing could take our happy away.

We brought our babe home into a world that was new.
She had so much to learn, both of us too.

Every lesson we taught her, she sent one in return.
Sometimes we were soft, sometimes we were stern.

We kept our minds open and let ourselves grow.
We held no horizons in our desire to know.

We discovered so much and were ready for more;
Both eager to make a new face to adore.

He arrived like a miracle, on Father’s Day morn -
That day when our sensational Son Shine was born.

He looked just like his daddy – our beautiful son.
We were finally four and our family was done.

Instantly bold, he demanded his place,
Insistent he share in an equal embrace.

That next year was hard, the hardest we’d had,
Though not for a second was it ever bad.

With so much to juggle and not enough minutes per day,
All of our minutes felt faded away.

We needed a reset or new way of thinking.
Life is no fun when it feels like you’re sinking.

I took hold of your hand, you took hold of mine.
If we jumped together, we’d both be fine.

We ran around three years, then aimed for the sky.
We’ll never get going if we never try.

We rebooted our reset and shattered our ceiling.
Intuition and instinct, fueled by gut feeling.

We took a big risk. We hope it will pay,
But we cannot expect our tomorrow today.

Our family is tight, like the threads of a rope,
And our future is filled with meticulous hope.

Life has never felt fuller or shined quite so bright,
As we wait for the spark of our next phase to ignite.

I’ve never loved you more than this moment today.
You are my angel, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Writer Dad

For Me, Christmas Means Hope

Hi everyone.  Happy Tuesday.  Today’s “What Christmas means to me” is from Jamie Simmerman of Blue Duck Copy. Enjoy!

Christmas Hope

When I was a child, Christmas Eve meant traveling to my dad’s hometown to celebrate with my entire dysfunctional family.  My grandparents’ house was nestled at the center of a community of less than 100 people. The highlight of the town was the nearby lake and the General Store’s handmade ice cream. The town wasn’t even big enough to qualify for a stoplight.

My family is more than a little unusual.

My grandfather was big and boisterous; my grandmother was petite with hair that stood straight off her head. Grandma purposely burnt everything she served to my grandfather, and he turned his hearing aids off every time she began to speak.

Fistfights in the kitchen broke out often, where my grandmother would inevitably jump on grandpa’s back and pull his hair. They would cuss like sailors and wish horrible diseases on each other at will- an odd couple if one ever existed. Together, they had 5 children, yet they both claimed neither ever wanted any kids. Still, the whole family gathered every year to make each other miserable for the holidays.

“Merry Christmas you worthless piece of dung.”

So off to grandma’s house we go.

We would cram in whatever junker car my dad was driving and rumble over the back roads, the trunk loaded with presents and food. Most years, it would rain giant fluffy snowflakes that glittered in the headlights and smacked into the windshield like tiny shooting stars. A beautiful yet beguiling prelude to what awaited.

As we unloaded the loot from the trunk, you could hear the uproar inside through the thick old front door. Grandma’s house was far from clean on the best of days, but add an extra 10 adults and 9 grandkids, and the clutter and chaos grew to overwhelming proportions.

Let the chaos begin.

Stepping inside the door, you would find nine different arguments happening in the same room, kids playing tag in the gigantic old rooms of the house, and my grandfather pushing his latest batch of fudge like a drug dealer with a fresh group of junkies.  Curse words and insults could be heard every couple of seconds, and nothing was considered sacred or off-limits. If we’d had any close neighbors, or even a local police station, the cops surely would have been called.

Can I get a get out of jail free pass, please?

As the midnight hour drew near, a few brave souls would seek solace in the peace and quiet outside the house. The single streetlight cast a yellow glow as fluttering snowflakes drifted silently from the heavens, and the accumulated fresh snow muffled both footsteps and voices as we climbed the hill to the old church perched at the edge of town.

The parishioners provided a candlelight service every Christmas Eve and the warmth and quiet of the church was irresistible after the cold trek through the bitter blowing wind and the deafening roar of the party below.

Years later, the words spoken during those late night services would be presented again with the same promise, peace, and warmth, yet I would finally understand their meaning.

Christmas Present

Now, Christmas no longer means dreaded family get-togethers, humiliating conversations, and sporadic bouts of violence.

With the birth of a single baby boy, I now have hope. There is healing for my scars, rest when I need it, and an unconditional love that erases the dysfunction that has plagued my family for generations. That baby has taken the splintered ugly shards of my soul and left something beautiful in its place that I could never have created.

For me, Christmas means hope.  2000 years ago, in the basement of an old watchtower situated in a field near Bethlehem, a tiny baby boy was born in a sheep pen and placed in a feeding trough. That seemingly insignificant event brought the hope of the Messiah to the local shepherds, and it brings hope to all who seek Him today.

Merry Christmas,

Jamie

Deja Vuesday 2.0

“The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.”

~Arnold Toynbee

2385134555_2f04615e90I love the concept of Deja Vuesday – not the execution. The point, for me, was to revisit an old piece of writing and measure its relevance against the me in a new moment.

I am grateful for the wonderful technology that makes it possible, and even simple, to record my thoughts once a day and know that I’ve made a tiny permanent stamp on at least a fragment of forever. I am sad that the same technology has dimmed our ability to savor.

The short little introductions on Tuesdays aren’t cutting it. I’m not saying much of anything, and probably taking way too long to say it. The percentage of readers that click through is relatively small, and I’m sure I can do better.

I’m still going to do Deja Vuesday – but different.  I’ll return to an old piece, now with a rewrite. I believe there’s tremendous value in an edit, especially with distance.

We are never exactly the same person twice; too much happens in between the hours.

The root of thought is found in articulation.  Reading is one thing, revisiting another.

There are only four more days until our preschool finds a cocoon and we face a monumental shift in our existence.  Telling our families was one thing, telling our children was a different one entirely.

Today we are revisiting “Pancake Wednesday.“  Please enjoy.

Pancake Tavern, a small restaurant by our house, has been our haunt for seven years.  It’s the sort of place that does a few things well, rather than plenty that only play at  par.  Though I prepare a large plate of pancakes for the preschoolers every Wednesday, I always order a stack of flapjacks at the tavern anyway.

For years, our Sunday ritual was a stroll to the restaurant, streets still empty; holding hands, counting sparrows, and playing “I Spy.”  Early, we’d slip into an empty booth,  indulge, than walk off a few mouthfuls of our meal.

Time has marched and we’ve gone less, but the ritual’s never vanished.

When our children are grown, flipping pancakes or holding menus for their little ones, a single memory from any one of several dozen scrumptious Sundays will certainly seize their senses.

One more than most.

We went to the Tavern two months back to turn a page in our story.  The time before that was Labor Day weekend, the restaurant’s final hours in its first location.  It was so hot outside, we didn’t order coffee.  That morning two months ago, the first nip of the changing season chewed our ears as we stepped between the fallen leaves.

We strolled to the new spot.  There, outside on the Tavern’s new patio, we told Max and Mia that we were closing our preschool.

Daisy and I crafted the moment to tell our children the news.  We were delicate in how we transitioned our families.  Our children deserved the same consideration for a succession of moments that would gum in their minds forever.

In preschool that month, we taught that life is filled with changes.  Max sat for every lesson, fingers folded, as he learned about getting bigger and moving on to something better.  He was ready at the restaurant when he unfolded his hands and asked, “Why did the Pancake Tavern get different?”

“Because they wanted to move to someplace bigger,” Mia said.  She didn’t so much as pause the pink pencil that was passing over her picture.

I squeezed Daisy’s hand.

“Why do you think they wanted something bigger?” I said.

Mia looked up from her drawing. “Because they wanted to serve more people, and make more money.”

Bingo.

We explained that we were closing our preschool, so we could reach more students through the computer.

Mia was a million miles over the moon; maybe more.  Max just stared past us toward the passerby on the sidewalk, as if they might be able to tell him whether or not he would see his friends the following summer.

What are you thinking?” Daisy touched his cheek after a quiet moment, then pulled his face toward her.

“Will we still have Pancake Wednesdays?” Wednesdays, said an octave higher.

“Of course,” I said. “We’ll always have Pancake Wednesdays.”

Mia put her arms around her brother then kissed him on his forehead.  “What color do you want your new room to be?”

BLUE,” he squealed.

It was pivotal that Mia understand.  Max is a slow burn, and Mia’s influence often channels heat.

Every transition isn’t wonderful, but we’re more likely to move forward when we step inside our purpose.  These days are the end of something wonderful and the start of something better.

Post Script:  Max adjusted like magic.  He still celebrates every student during our opening, even though we are down to a single family.  He calls each one by name and imagines what “manager” they would be if they were there.

Writer Dad

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Hi, My Name is Sean (Not Seen).

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.  We grow old by deserting our ideals.  Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” 

~Samuel Ullman

I’d like to thank my parents for the name.  It’s nice.  Like my nose, I never appreciated its true character until I was old enough to understand that looking or being like anyone else is the worst possible purgatory.  

Last week, I penned the most significant thing I’ve thus far written.  Not the best, but certainly the most monumental.  

It was a letter to lift my family from one hilltop to the next.

Three years ago, Daisy and I left our jobs.  We were working too long, not moving forward, and needed life to graduate. 

We opened a preschool.  Daisy left her job at the school district, I left mine at the flower shop.  Daisy was leaving security, benefits, and a full classroom.  I, my family and the daily soul food of a million petals (The shop is gorgeous.  Flowers EVERYWHERE).

Our tiny school is wonderful, but it’s impossible to move forward if we cannot ever take a step.  Workdays are ten hours, plus set up and tear down; five days a week, with no vacation outside a long weekend, for the last three years.  

During this time, the children (students) are constantly learning.  No television, ever.  The children get music, math, reading, and writing, and all of it’s fun.  Computer time is given to every student two years and over.  We do an outstanding job, but it is positively exhausting. 

A lot of comments have questioned how I balance family life with writing.  Presently, not well.  Not as I should.  

That’s what this is about.

I write when my children sleep, or on the weekend.  This means sleeping at midnight, and wearing the Macbook as permanent weekend accessory.  

Neither is acceptable.

Daisy and I are closing our small family preschool at the end of this year; hitching the wagon with the young ones, and heading into frontier. 

My heart tumbled as I wrote the farewell.  The week tangled my stomach, as it seemed the sand took longer to slip through the glass.  

Friday evening, we hit send.

Response was fairly immediate, and overwhelmingly positive.  Our parents, though sad, were thrilled for us.

I started this blog as Writer Dad instead of Sean, because I didn’t know where writing would take me.  If it removed me from the families whose lives I am a part of five days a week, I needed to know they’d hear it from me.  Not stumble across it.

I haven’t told them about Writer Dad yet.  Shock precedes awe.  They’ll know soon, and when they do, I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you guys.  

Please be warm, they’re really nice people.

Tomorrow, I’d like to talk a bit about the letter.  It was an important piece of writing, crafted with intent.  I think writers (that should be all of you) will be interested.

Writer Dad

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The Ninth Wonder?

“Some stories are true that never happened.”

~Elie Weisel

I love my Macbook.  A lot.  It’s safe to say there’d be no Writer Dad without it.  

It’s possible I might’ve stumbled into writing anyway, but it wouldn’t have been in the ninja in the dead of night way it did.

I feel like I can do anything with my notebook.  I don’t mean curing hunger or bending time, but I can write books, make music, or cut movies.  

Maybe one day paint pictures.

Everyone can be an artisan.  

A limitless toolbox, often weighing less than five pounds, is available to most.

I love to learn.  

The more I learn, the more I understand how little I know.  

I’ve wanted to make a video.  I have the tools, just never used them.  But there are plenty of tutorials and the software is easy to use, so I don’t really have an excuse not to.

Today’s release is an old ditty, in different clothing.  I’m not sure who among us has been here since we last saw it, but it’s different enough to make it worthy.

I hope you enjoy. I’d love to hear what you think, good or bad.  

If you enjoy it, please consider Stumbling, or following the link and leaving a comment on Youtube or Viddler.  

Thanks,

Writer Dad

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Last Friday’s, wee-book: Number One and Two it!

This video would not have been possible without the help of Ian from Indigo Spot, who not only helped me figure out why I was a gimp in the first place, but how I can avoid being a gimp in the future.  Thanks, Ian, and everyone who piled in the tow truck.  You guys were amazing.

The Eighth Wonder of the World 2.0:

I Heart DVD’s

“Do not discourage your children from hoarding.”

~Samuel Johnson 

Have you ever been driving, fully engaged with your passenger, and you just fly past your exit?

This happened to me yesterday; except I was alone, and I wasn’t driving.

I Heart Movies,” wasn’t supposed to be about my parents’ wildly disparate styles of parenting.  

It was supposed to be about me, and my horrible hoarding.

Hello, my name is Writer Dad, and it’s been several months since my last DVD purchase.

Yesterday, I waxed fondly of the cinematic library of my childhood.  Our family wasn’t wealthy by any means, but one of our indulgences was undoubtedly movies.  

At first, they were a novelty.  My dad used to pick them up used from the video store next to our flower shop.  As it grew cheaper to buy them new, my mom assumed the role of acquisition.

She treated this task as though a parallel dimension hinged on her diligence.  

We filled one cabinet, then another.  A small stack started on the floor, soon mounting to a teetering tower.

Then it multiplied.

After purchasing “Mr. Destiny” (yes, she was the one), she was forbidden to buy another movie.

But my mom laughed at prohibition, and turned bootlegger.

At first, my father simply sighed and sort of pretended not to notice, but it was difficult to ignore an extra, unopened copy of “Jesus Christ Superstar.

Arguments fogged the house with language we weren’t allowed to hear from actors.

My dad demanded that my mom stop slipping in a stack of cinema every time she went to Target.

She kept on doing it anyway.  

This was in the mid-life of VHS, about where DVDs are now, and you could practically find a blockbuster sitting at the bottom of your box of Cheerios.  But even ten cents is expensive, if it’s for two spools of magnetic ribbon that are never gonna rotate.  

Her quiet trafficking continued, until crashing into a hilarious/horrifying conclusion one afternoon in the middle of a family move.

My dad discovered a long box, about the size of a hunchback’s coffin, crammed with sealed movies, tucked in tight rows; the entire stash swaddled beneath a pile of shoes.

There was a raging tempest that day.  It may have been added to the bible, I’m not sure, but I will not speak of it here.

NOTE:  At some point, I would like to discuss my mother’s hoarding in far more detail.  It will be funny, and she is shockingly unembarrassed.  However, I am afraid that the subject will eat my blog.

Despite the discord, I loved that library, and when I left, it was something I missed.

Every weekend, as I rented four movies for four days for four dollars and took them back to my apartment, I’d envision hallways of shelves, stocked with decades of cinema, in the palatial estate of my future.

Years passed, I met Daisy, and she surprised me on our second Christmas with a DVD player about a year after they’d hit the shelves.  

I was in love, with both Daisy and the thin black, sexy thing sitting beneath my TV.

So I binged.  

For five straight years.

I won’t bore you with depths of my idiocy, but I may or may not have bought boxes of flix, for a dollar a pop, from a company based in Thailand, called “DVD’s for a Dollar.”

I’m drawn to the idea of a permanent library, even though I can admit the impracticality.  Perhaps it’s the immediate and available choice, or the tangible validation that I’ve seen or read what’s resting on my shelves.  I know part of it was a desire to share adoration with offspring; a feeling born inside me long before I had any.

Fortunately, I grew up.  I had two children, a mortgage, and no excuse not to.  And honestly, Netflix made it easy.

The last three DVD’s I’ve bought, are all Disney, and even they seem fleeting.  In a few years, it’ll all be downloads.  That’s almost like permission to hoard.  What’s the worst that could happen?  I fill up a hard drive and have to get another; how big are they anyway?

About the size of a single VHS cassette.

Writer Dad

If you enjoyed my words, please subscribe by RSS or email.  I’ll be back again tomorrow.

If you liked that, you’ll probably love, “Here’s a Macbook, Go Make Your Million,” or “Just Pay Attention.

No, No, No! I said, “I Didn’t Want to be a Chooch.”

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. 

~Errol Flynn

This is an exciting time in life; my family on the brink of a shift.

Most of it’s wonderful, but like any move from blue ribbon to better, there’s little reward without any stairs to climb.  

Sweet isn’t near as sweet if you’ve never known sour.

Some of the vinegar in the emigration to full time writer, is this long middling, when the idea of being a chooch frequently worms its way between my ears, lays eggs, then wiggles down my spine to settle where I sit. 

Psst… Writer Dad.

Sigh.  Yes, incessant voice inside my head?

Most readers don’t know random Italian slang.  You only got yours because you read the forward to Mario Puzo’s, “Fortunate Pilgrim.” (Not that you actually read the book.)

Oh, incessant voice.  Good point.

A chooch, according to Italians, is someone who allows their family to fully indulge in their eccentricities, even though they don’t lay a single crumb on the table. 

I’d rather have teeth breaking through the skin on the side of my face. 

I love writing.  It’s harder than breathing, but easier than doing the dishes. 

If I can carve out a living for myself, and my loved ones, by letting my fingers dance across these keys, then I’ll bow down and count myself as one of the lucky ones.  But I can’t stand the idea of pouring over piles of syllables, belaboring every single page and paragraph of a novel that might take another year, and designing rhymes that no one will ever enunciate, when there’s a stack of bills that need to be paid (and quickly). 

If I’m a writer, than my responsibility is to not only produce content that makes me smile, my family proud, and audience happy, but that also puts food in our tummies and fattens the college fund. 

I don’t want to be the guy who goes to his garage with three drunk buddies and plays off key oldies, mouthing off about one day getting a gig, while his family’s inside passing a tub of popcorn and saying, “Where’s Daddy

I want to write. 

I want to write chapter books for my children, and a love story for my wife; something funny and tragic for my mom, and maybe a western for my dad.  Perhaps I’ll pen something dark and quiet, cynical and sweet for my sister. 

I can’t wait to write a book on raising children or running a pre-school, and I’ve got an awesome idea for a sci-fi novel.  I’ll probably start on it as soon as I’m finished with the book being written right now. 

I don’t need a Costco sticker covering up the last letter in the title of my tome, but my time must amount to something. 

I just can’t stand the thought of being a chooch.

Writer Dad

Disclaimer: Daisy does not endorse this post. I have read it to her three times. One had this really hilarious ending that was far better than this one. But I digress. Daisy doesn’t think that I could ever be a Chooch, and poses a strong objection to the word, especially when used in relation to myself.

If you enjoyed my words, please subscribe.  I promise I’ll be back tomorrow.

If you liked that, you’ll probably love, “Here’s a Macbook, Go Make a Million,” “Sink or Swim,” or “Your Baby’s Born in the Rough Draft. You Raise it in the Rewrite.”