An Act of Kindness

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions”

~ Anonymous

Yesterday, I wrote a post, Sink or Swim, where I discussed discarding the safe in search of something better.  I made my leap, and have since found myself in the middle of the sea.  I first started splashing six months back, determined to ford the flood.  Though I see a gilded horizon as inevitable, it is certainly not without its obstacles.  

Being a dad can be difficult without the added weight of forging forward into the unknown.  To say I’m never scared, or never have to swallow doubt would be as ridiculous as saying I’ve an allergy to air. 

An act of kindness can shift the wind around you.  An act of kindness can be free to give and is sometimes all the giving someone needs.  

Were I swimming in a vacuum, I might have abandoned this dream long ago.  I am not.  Rather, I am fortunate to swim beside the constant support of others, alongside a community carrying a relentless belief that I will one day succeed.  That has been enough to thicken the resolve I need to see the other shore.

Yesterday, there were two people who reached out above and beyond, with a simple act of kindness.  I would like to acknowledge them here.  The first was Lori, the Space Age Sage.  In the comments she asked, “If any of us can toss you a life preserver right now, what kind would you need?”

We swapped emails and, as always, I found Lori meant exactly what she said.  An empty commenter Lori is not.  Thank you, Lori, for your constant and considerate, care.

The second person to light my day was Randi, from Foreign Quang.  She wrote a comment long enough for a post, so I asked her if I could use her words to get out of writing today.  

Here is the majority of her comment, clipped a bit for brevity.

Writer Dad,

I’ve got thoughts flying out in different directions because of your post, so I hope I can corral them long enough to make sense.

First off, let me start with a complaint about some women (I, being one, claim the right to rag on some of my sistahs).  When I began my blog, I thought the best thing to do was to hang out at other women’s blogs, just to get a feel for what was popular in blog land. What I saw, in large part, left me disgusted and afraid.  Time after time, I would come across a blog where the blogger thought it was cool to bash her husband or boyfriend, using the most vile terms imaginable. She would talk about what an idiot he was, about the latest stupid thing he did, or about what she would like to do to various body parts while he was sleeping. She would use language I used to associate only with men’s locker rooms, and I thought I had heard it all (having worked with men for many years).  These blogs had lots of subscribers.

I seriously considered abandoning blogging, if that’s what it took to have a successful blog.

Then, one day, while hanging out at Zen Habits, I came across a post you had written on breaking bad habits.  I followed the link to your site, and after reading a couple of posts, said to myself, “Yes! This is what blogging should be about!” The more I read, the more I became aware of the undying support you have from your wife, Daisy. In her, my faith in modern womanhood was redeemed. Here is a woman who would surely die before affixing any swear words to your name. I feel safe when reading her comments on your site, or in reading the posts on hers, that I won’t have to be subjected to a woman’s rantings about her husband. Instead, I feel a sweetness of spirit, a faith in true love, a hope for married couples everywhere. Remembering back to a post I read of yours, where Daisy encouraged you to risk it all and just WRITE, I now ask you to honor her faith by keepin’ on with the swimmin’ even when you feel as if your arms are numb with the struggle, or your lungs will burst with the next breath.

Your writing is good, and more good things will come from what you’ve built.  It’s called synergy.

Ok, next thought. Having managed a few businesses, I know it does take at least a year (in most cases) to see monetary success in a business. You may not be there yet. It seems though, that everywhere I turn there is blog with Writer Dad listed as a favorite blog. Success is not always about the money. I would rather have a blog that made peanuts than have a blog that was financially secure but resorted to ravings.

Third, and maybe final, thought.  

Sinking or swimming can be scary. Until May 2007, I was the manager of a very successful business. I made more money than my husband and worked between 60-70 hours a week. I saw my then eight year old son far too infrequently. He was suffering in school and was exceedingly insecure. My husband and I made the decision that I would quit work.  In the fall, I would become a teacher at my son’s homeschool co-op. As in NO PAY. We were frightened because we KNEW we could not make it on only one income. Yet, there is a quality of life that happens when you are forced to do without, that is very character defining.

We no longer have cable TV service. We eat out maybe once every six months. Friday I bought new clothes for the first time in three years. But I would not trade my son’s newfound security to have my old salary back. It’s not worth it. Yes, you may struggle while you write, wondering if there will ever be a payoff. I believe there will be. You have the talent. You have the support. And last but not least, you have the FANS!

Yay for Writer Dad!

Thanks ladies.  Your acts of kindness are much appreciated.

Writer Dad