The time will come when winter will ask you what you were doing all summer.

~Henry Clay

I’m so tired.

There’s nothing so exhausting as a good vacation.

We took a four day weekend; our first four days off in a row since last Christmas.  We scheduled ourselves a long Memorial Day, but had a last minute houseguest.  Our visitor was low maintenance, but even an easy houseguest during an anticipated vacation is like getting to the front of the bathroom line, then holding it.

I knew I was tired, but I thought it was like Rhode Island fatigue… or maybe Maryland.

Not Texas.

It’s been difficult lately, shutting my mind off.  My body is exhausted and begging for rest, but my brain just keeps on bouncing, belligerent.  I employ a multitude of methods, but every tactic is only an umbrella in a brainstorm.

I start to count backward from a hundred, but before my tally nicks ninety, I find myself pondering my yesterdays and tomorrows.

This has been routine:

Frenzy through the day until my body is no longer willing, and then lie helpless as my mind is mocking me with a million memories and estimations.

“Honey,” Daisy’s been repeating, “You need to come up for air.”

Of course she’s right.

Starting Friday, and moving all the way to Monday, I slept.

Sleeping in + afternoon naps + going to bed early

x four days

= I’m still tired

But I’m no longer exhausted, and I had the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever had without passing city limits.

The weekend was sprinkled with small indulgences; the kind that are rarely around when we’re trying to pull the best from our children, but abundant just before our family seasons are about to change.

Daisy and I ambled through long, lingering conversations; unbuttoned words born from rest rather than the ashes of fatigue.

Horizons were mapped and conclusions agreed on.

I’m still tired, but with an eager mind and undaunted soul.  After four days of relative serenity, I know exactly what I want from the last third of this year (and it isn’t just to get better sleep).

Writer Dad

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If you liked this post, you’ll probably love, “Sink or Swim,” “Torturing Tranquility Like a Treasonous Prisoner,” or “Leaving Our Shell Behind.”