Comments on: Four Seasons…February

By: Shane Arthur

Shane Arthur — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:50:53 +0000

Anybody looking to see what love of writing is, read this post.

By: Andreas Souvleris

Andreas Souvleris — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 12:56:58 +0000

Wow. I stumbled upon your post about shots and thought it was pretty good so checked out the rest of your site. Simply awesome man, keep up the good work.

By: Sean

Sean — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:21:53 +0000

My pleasure, Ms. Jamie. I’m glad you enjoyed John’s perfect day.
Sean´s last blog ..How to Manage Your Ghostwriter

By: Jamie Simmerman

Jamie Simmerman — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:44:32 +0000

:D Thanks Sean.

By: Writer Dad

Writer Dad — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:57:53 +0000

Hi Terry,

I agree on the passive voice. I’ve rinsed a lot of the passive from my voice in the last year, but it would do me well to revisit this from the beginning with a magnifying glass. I plan to go over the entire thing at the end of January after taking a break from it and gathering feedback through comments, email and Twitter.

Thanks! I’m glad you liked it.

By: Terry Heath

Terry Heath — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:49:56 +0000

I enjoyed this story and was glad to see it part of a series. I’ll have to go back and catch January, then see what the other posts bring.

You’ve given lots of detail, giving each character that all important third dimension. IMO, you might try removing some of the passive voice (lots of “was”) but really the story flowed well and kept my interest.

Keep up the good work, and it will be interesting to see what comes from your revisions in six months. Just don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater!
Terry Heath´s last blog ..What’s It All About, [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]?