Oktober High-Five

November 20, 2008

Oktober 5 is a bit of a mystery.  We don’t know his name, or even the meaning behind his moniker.  This matters not at all.  Few things hold as much gravity as the wisdom in our words, and in that, Oktober has no shortage.  His posts are peerless, each one perfectly pithy.

I’ve encountered no one else online who brandishes brevity as he.  Sometimes, there are no words, only a photograph worth a throw’s more than a thousand.  You can subscribe to his feed here.  Please enjoy his words below.

Oktober 5

At Least My Writing Understands Me

One of the most frustrating things in life is not being understood, or worse yet, being misunderstood. This feeling is often expressed in the words of your typical angst-ridden teen to his parents, “You don’t know me!” It’s true, we don’t know you because you don’t know yourself.

I’m clearly not a parent of an angst-ridden teen; I’m not middle-aged, balding, nor losing my mind. I am, however, the proud parent of a very misunderstood one-year-old boy. Despite his precocious attitude, he fails to realize that his ceaseless grunts and screams don’t translate directly into “I’m hungry” or “I want to go outside” or “I soiled myself and it’s about to leak out all over the place so please change me now.”

Believe me, such misunderstandings have had disastrous consequences. But there is hope. One-year-old boys grow up and teenagers discover themselves. And writers write. We all come to know ourselves.

WriterDad.com has an envious tag line: Life’s better with the right words. Our world is constantly defining itself with words. Even our feelings are being translated into drinkable quantities. The right words help us to be understood, which not only avoids misunderstandings and dirty diaper accidents, but teaches us something about ourselves.

Who better to critique us than our own writing? After all, it knows us best; it is us. Truly, writing is a reflection of us no matter how hard we may try to put forth our best self. When the emails have stopped coming, when twitter-land is quiet, when friends have exhausted their praise, then you are left with something that understands you and speaks to you in a way no other can.

Just as when you look in the mirror you’re the only one looking back, so too when you write your words you’re the only one to account for them. Make them good. Make them passionate. If you find the right words, you’ll find yourself, and there is no better feeling than knowing and controlling one’s self.

Writer Dad

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  • Hey October5.

    I so agree with that by finding the right words you will find yourself. The more I have been writing lately (on both blogs) the more I am growing.

    Cherish that one year old. Having a teen that is in the process of discovering himself his just has hard as trying to figure out what a one year old has to say. I think between 7-13 are great communication years. I will let you know when I get past the stage of age 14.

    This was a wonderful post. I am so glad to see Writer Dad give you credit over here.

    Great post.

    <abbr>Tammy Warrens last blog post..Let someone else pick up the slack</abbr>
  • Writer Dad

    Love the unique voice comment, sadly, you're right. I'm curious about this strange Oktober 5 figure? :) Discovering who we are is a life long process but that doesn't mean you'll never learn anything.

    Ahh, being misunderstood... even when you do your best to be concise and honest, it seems to never fail... they still got you all wrong! :) Thanks Oktober 5, I subscribed to your blog. :)

    <abbr>Miguel Wickerts last blog post..Pimp Your Blogging Experience With Thesis</abbr>
  • I love his photographs and the writing. Thank you for shraing!

    <abbr>Rosie : )s last blog post..Photo Friday (20)</abbr>
  • Ryan, I like your "rocks" analogy! It's a little different, I think. It's more like I can see my whole inside world in one fell swoop, in all its nuances and variety and connections---wholly and in detail---but it's in trying to put all that into words that's so troublesome. It's like trying to translate from one language to another; I'm trying to translate pictures and feelings and color and awareness and understanding into words. Even that is a little hard to explain. "Find the right words," as you said, appears to be my issue. ;)

    <abbr>Julies last blog post..The Smile</abbr>
  • I'm a huge fan of Oktober5. For starters, what the hell does oktober5 mean?

    I know don't, and neither do you.

    Bottom line is: this boy got skills and I read.

    <abbr>Bamboo Forests last blog post..Choose NOT To Get on The Negativity Train</abbr>
  • Hi Ryan: I completely agree that our words are one of those mirrors that reflects right back to us who we are. I'm going to put up on my blog one of the photographs you gave me tomorrow :-)
  • Scribblous -- The best is yet to come. Right?

    Ari -- My son's constant narration is currently in the form of screams, grunts, and some more screams. I'm looking for the day that he learns some words. We taught him some basic sign language and I'm afraid it may have stunted his verbal communication skills.

    Julie -- Do you find that the more you are able to describe that world in your mind that the bigger it becomes. It's not that it becomes harder to describe, there is just more there that you never saw--kind of like turning over rocks. That's my experience, anyway.

    JLSimons -- They don't learn to leave you alone for more than 10 minutes at a time by the time they are 4? I've got a long ways to go.... And my attempts at getting up early or going to bed late to write have been less than productive. Usually it just makes me cranky from lack of sleep.

    Eric -- This is good to hear. That's one of my goals when writing in the first place.

    Daisy -- You're welcome. And thank you! If you hadn't liked it, I would have blamed it on your husband :) But since you do, I'm more than happy to be gracious :)

    Jamie -- I think I rather understand myself than have someone else understand me. Even if someone knew me better than I knew me (and I know people like this), it would do me no good if I weren't willing to accept that understanding about myself. It takes a certain humility and courage to accept who we are and then do something about it. We first need to find that humility and courage within ourselves before we're ready to accept what others understand about us.

    Just Anna -- You bring up a good point: We ourselves are changing. Just when I think I've figured myself out, I change. Or life changes, and I see a totally different side of me. Funny how in different circumstances we can be seemingly different people.

    Ian -- Writing a consistent journal definitely helps improve memory recall. I think I should be doing more of it than I am. About comparing old writing with new: Today I've been going through some notebooks of writing that I did for classes in highschool. In some ways it feels like I never grew up. My spelling has improved for sure, and I can "hear" my voice, but it's almost a little disappointing that I haven't taken my writing to the next level, as it were.
  • Dave,

    that is good. It sounds like you're constantly challenging yourself. And never stop asking questions, especially silly ones.

    <abbr>Beth Partins last blog post..See Grown Men Cry over a Bird</abbr>
  • Ian
    WD,

    Thanks for highlighting Oktober5. That is a great site.

    O5,

    Awesome post. I mentioned this I think over's at Sal's site, but I write for myself. I write in order to remember, because my memory can be so bad at times. It is fun to delve back into things I have written months and years ago and see who I was then and compare it to who I am now. It's also interesting to see that thread that is common throughout. The one defining trait that seems to make itself known. I am always looking for the right words. I'm not sure I'll ever find them.

    <abbr>Ians last blog post..Talking and Squawking</abbr>
  • I have been married since I was 21, thirty years (to the same man), raised 3 children, approaching 51 & still figuring out who I am.
    It changes daily and oddly enough I am ok with it!

    Your posts encourage me to write, reflect and appreciate a young mans view on life...I only hope my children grow to be as passionate as you are.

    <abbr>Just Annas last blog post..VOTE…..No Vislack for Secretary of Agriculture!</abbr>
  • Hey Ryan, I see passion, a well of intelligence, and a touch of sadness in your words. I think we continue to try to find ourselves until the day we die. For me, I am changing, growing, adapting to shape my world.

    When it's all over, it may not be how well you understand yourself that matters, but how well someone else understands you.

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful words. Your blog continues to be one of my favorites. :)

    <abbr>Jamie Simmermans last blog post..Overcoming Defeat</abbr>
  • Ryan,

    Thank you for being candid and more Real than Coca-Cola. Many are nodding and saying, "I wish I could have owned those words and pictures." I thoroughly enjoy your eye and thanks for blinking and giving us a spot of what is inside your mind.
    P.S. I heart all previous guests posts also, I will send my sentiments when I am not feeling like a vapor soon.
    Daisy
  • Beth, It's an ongoing thing. Sometimes when I think I might know myself, I do something that changes my mind. Perhaps if I knew myself I'd stop asking questions and I suppose that might not be so good. It's like I'm having an adventure inside my own head. One thing is for sure... I never get bored.

    <abbr>Dave Fowlers last blog post..Teaching My Children About Health, Fitness and Diet</abbr>
  • Ryan,

    "Make them good. Make them passionate." That really is the key.

    Dave,

    my mother said to me once, "I'm 60 and I don't know myself." I was 24 at the time and found her comment quite horrifying. But what bothers me now is that I can't remember how I responded. I hope it was something good, but I probably just had an impatient look on my face.

    <abbr>Beth Partins last blog post..See Grown Men Cry over a Bird</abbr>
  • Way to go Oktober 5! Your words are an awesome and accurate reflection of you! :-) Eric.

    <abbr>Eric Hamms last blog post..How To Avoid Self Destructing On Our Bad Days</abbr>
  • WriterDad: I think some of that future post is happening now. Sorry.

    <abbr>jlsimonss last blog post..Dead…dead…dead</abbr>
  • Ryan, that sense of "lost time" is another one of the wondrous aspects of writing. I think it's because we've entered the world we're creating, and by definition time moves differently. It may take me three hours to write a scene that takes 1 minute to unfold, or ten minutes to write about a vast expanse of elapsed time.

    It brings up the single issue that stops me from sitting down to write more than any other: if I won't have the time to immerse myself fully in my world, and disconnect myself utterly from the real world, I am loathe to write in dribs and drabs. The disconnects are just too painful and jarring. (And try as I might, I just can't get my 4-year old daughter to understand that.)

    <abbr>jlsimonss last blog post..Dead…dead…dead</abbr>
  • Feelings. It's all about my feelings. They create a whole language of their own, opening worlds of ideas and thought and connections and unvoiced conversations, and I know that language well. For me, my writing is my attempt to describe the whole unspoken world that lives within me. My desire is that I use words well enough that others understand all the concepts and ideas and knowledge that swirl within me. I want to share as well as I feel.

    <abbr>Julies last blog post..First Guest Post</abbr>
  • Hi Ryan,

    I loved the line "misunderstood one-year boy." I am a father of a two-year-old boy, who is in the midst of discovering wonders of words. His constant narrating of things he sees and does, however, is making him a surprisingly effective communicator. He's simple, direct, and cuts to the chase. I think he's understood more than I am at times.

    ari

    <abbr>Ari Koinumas last blog post..Life’s Survival Guide for Sensitive Souls</abbr>
  • I love that feeling when your writing and all of the sudden it starts flowing out of you. Sometimes it's unstoppable, but even if it isn't you don't want to stop writing because you know your best is coming and that it will be beautiful. To you at least.

    And I love Oktober5 -- I've been reading it longer than all of you!

    <abbr>Scribblous (His Wife)s last blog post..Why Every Woman Should Have A Flame Torch</abbr>
  • Writer Dad
    Mike: I love how different Ryan's blog is. There's a lot of repetition on the internet. The unique voices tend to ring the loudest.

    Betsy: Well said, Betsy. Oktober 5 is calming. It was my pleasure to bring him around these parts.

    JLSimons: I've definitely felt that high, and in fact, I think it would make an excellent topic for a post.

    Ryan: Thanks for joining us, buddy. You do a tremendous job, not only with your words but with your style. Everything looks so clean and neat - even your comments here with their bolded names. Both of your new sites look fantastic by the way. I love the three columns of your blog, and I can't wait to see what you do with Oktober 5 Publishing.
  • Mike -- I am a bit different. I guess that's my way of making myself feel special and less humdrum.

    Kyddryn -- I have to read my stuff in the silence of my own brain. It's what I perceive that other people are thinking that gives me trouble. It's like when we know someone is watching us; some of us it helps, but others of us totally lock up.

    Dave Fowler -- What can I say . . . keep writing or creating or whatever you do, and hopefully one day we'll all know ourselves perfectly. I plan on pushing daisies before I ever know myself perfectly. I'm too limited now by time and memory and human frailty.

    Matthew Dryden -- You're making me feel bad I deleted that page when I moved sites . . . . I still support it to, in spirit :)

    Lance -- It's a beautiful thing to reread something and see your reflection in it. I think one of the hardest things for writers is identifying what those layers are that hide their pure self. Fear, conformity, and lack of practice are three layers that I can think of off the top of my head.

    Hayden Tompkins -- Easier said than done, no?

    Kool Aid -- Thank you :)

    Betsy Wuebker -- I can say the same about your writing! Writing for me is one of those special activities that not only leaves me calm but elated. After writing something that is truly me, I feel like I'm on top of the world and could accomplish anything. And that's very calming, actually.

    JLSimons -- Do you think they could manufacture a drug that could give me a writer's high? I'm no pill-popper, but if such a drug existed....

    Sometimes it feels like arduous work in order to achieve that high. For me, it's when I get lost in writing something; I lose track of time, and can't stop writing until all the words are out. Then I step back and can't believe that what I just did was me. While I write, something changes in me and I become a different person (or maybe I just know myself better), and I'm often surprised at what I can produce or what sort of knowledge (and trash) is stored up in that brain of mine.
  • The other night I finished writing a new scene in a novel. The feeling of elation was better than any intoxicant, any work-related accomplishment. It was...euphoric. I had written the words, and then, taking on a life of their own, they were able to thrill me. Not at my having writ them, but in their own right. Because they were true to the story, because they were perfect for the characters, because they were clean and shiny and perfect: I literally got up and did a little dance. (Not a good one, and thankfully, no video cameras in the area.) Has anybody ever written about a "writer's high?" (I know many trees have died in the name of writer's lows.) I would expand on what Oktober 5 said that for writers, it is our words that reflect and understand us, but for other creators, it is whatever they create: the music they've heard deep within their souls, the artistic visions only their eyes have seen, the sculptures only they can find within the stone.

    <abbr>JLSimonss last blog post..Dead…dead…dead</abbr>
  • Without fail, Oktober 5's writing leaves me calm and thinking my best thoughts. He writes right about what is right. Thanks for spotlighting one of the best in the sphere.

    <abbr>Betsy Wuebkers last blog post..AS IF</abbr>
  • I am not surprised in the slightest to find you over here, O5. Excellent post and very thought-provoking.

    <abbr>Kool Aids last blog post..Question of the day</abbr>
  • "Make them passionate."

    Yes.

    <abbr>Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..Calling All Parents!</abbr>
  • I love this whole idea that if you find the right words, you'll find yourself. When you strip away all the other stuff from them, and get down to what "your" words are - powerful. And freeing. I'm working to truly find this.

    Keep at it Oktober5.

    <abbr>Lances last blog post..Don’t Worry, Be Happy</abbr>
  • Ah, Oktober5...I found out about you quite awhile ago....Readers Against Drunk Posting!

    I'm still supporting RADP.

    <abbr>Matthew Drydens last blog post..How Tree Dances</abbr>
  • Oktober 5, I’m 40 and I don’t yet know myself, it’s frightening in some ways.

    Maybe that translates to my young children not knowing who I am either?

    Could I stand to be left alone with my own words? Not always. I much prefer the words of others. Maybe I’m hiding from myself?

    I haven’t got the answers, but your words encouraged me to search for some. Thank you.

    <abbr>Dave Fowlers last blog post..Teaching My Children About Health, Fitness and Diet</abbr>
  • Well said, sir...

    I wonder if that's why I don't like to read what I've written or listen to recordings of my band - I always find the flaws, and never feel it's good enough. Telling, no?

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

    <abbr>Kyddryns last blog post..Thoughtfetti</abbr>
  • Oktober5's name is on his about statement on his blog's new location.

    I've been reading his blog for several weeks now. It's interesting and... different -- not that being different is bad. In fact, different, in many instances, is good.

    <abbr>Mike Goads last blog post..Eyes of the Great Depression 007</abbr>
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