“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
~Jack London
NaNoWriMo has been less productive for me than I had hoped, but still better than I had any right to expect. I’m eking along, a few pages a day. Yes, I am lagging far behind, and yes, I am okay with it. I’ll be thrilled if I end the month with an engaging outline for a future novel. Any freelance work which comes my way must share the front seat alongside the promising guest posts that are lined up.
The month is nearly half over, and I’m still well inside the walls of the first act. I do, however have a fairly good idea about where the story is going, which is a lot more than I could have said two weeks ago. This is the final few hundred words of the opening chapter. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to critique it below. I chose this particular section because I feel as though it does an adequate job of displaying the setting and I didn’t have too much to choose from.
RedBook:
Billy slid his finger across the glass, then pulled manual control from the on board computer. He dragged his thumb in a neat line across the bar of green dashes until the glass was a straight line of crimson, each dash darkening beneath his drifting thumb. A few nearly silent words fell from the side of Billy’s mouth, and the Skyler soared into a full throttle; launching upward in a single straight shot, fifteen seconds into the sky. It teetered for a single second, with barely a mislaid milisecond of momentum, then hovered into a perfect horizontal.
“Three…two…one,” Conner counted quietly to himself. There was a split second boom that somehow sounded both deafening and quiet, and then the Skyler wrinkled the blue sky at six-hundred kilometers per hour, just as the bones of the planet’s biggest factory for the world’s only narcotic collapsed inside a crumbling sink hole.
“You weren’t kidding,” Billy said a few decibels too loud, his ears ringing from the force of the blast.
Conner was silent. He collapsed in his chair, stared out the window, and wondered for the thousandth time what life would have been like if he had been born just one generation earlier. He had read plenty of histories and seen enough footage to last a dozen lifetimes, but Conner could never quite place himself in those final few years before the Great Melancholy, back when technology had finally outrun philosophy and left the world buried beneath a tsunami of chaos. Of course there had been those few who had seen it coming, but even they could not have imagined it unfolding as fast as it did.
It was two decades later and the world was mostly safe, though safe was a synonym for antiseptic. Conner lived in a world where illegal drugs had been wiped from the planet. There were few alive willing to taint their blood. Such barbarism was so last century. Why would anyone engage in anything so primitive, when a single Primotion chip, implanted in the brain could easily eliminate any negative thought that might be spun in the subconscious.
The elders were the biggest addicts, as they had nursed the biggest burden of transition. The young understood the technology that was turning the gears of the world as though it was a native tongue, which to most of them it was. Use of the Primotion chip among the under twenty population was nearly non existent. But for those in their golden years, it was nearly epidemic.
Once the chip went whirring in the brain, life was all rainbows and dolphins. The problem was, when life is only good, then you don’t know when it’s bad. If you don’t know when it’s bad, you’ll be clueless when it starts getting worse. If you’re clueless when it’s getting worse, then you are powerless to stop it.
Imagine that thirty percent of the Newmerican population was living beneath just such an umbrella, and you’ll know precisely where we are when fifteen year old Conner Quick pulled himself into the Skyler, and why he was smiling at the holocaust he’d left behind.
Writer Dad
About Sean Platt
I love it. I am now convinced that you have a NY Times best seller in you. I knew you were a good writer, but this is better than I had expected, which was very good to begin with.
Looking forward to the next excerpt.
Wendi Kelly: I was writing in a red notebook at the time. I know, it lacks pizazz, but it’s how I came up with the title, which is all I had until November 1st. Now I have a vague idea, and it definitely deals with a future after we’ve “mucked things up with the error of our current ways.” I won’t give up, I’ll just add it to the heaping where are my minutes pile.
SpaceAgeSage: Thanks Lori. I’m excited to write it. Maybe early next year, I’ll sit down and spend real time with it. I hope to have an outline by the end of November.
Janice: That’s so awesome that you knew that was Dubai. It’s funny, because I was searching for a good picture of Dubai, simply because it has the best futuristic skyline that isn’t photoshopped. Seeing it covered in clouds was gravy.
Dave: Thanks. I’ll have more. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Marelisa: Thanks, Mare. We need the sour to taste the sweet. A life without peaks or valleys is dull indeed.
Vered: Wow, V. That was like a pat on the back, standing on a compliment, stacked on an accolade. Thank you ever so much. It’s settled then. Next Friday, RedBook part II.
Wendi Kelly: I was writing in a red notebook at the time. I know, it lacks pizazz, but it’s how I came up with the title, which is all I had until November 1st. Now I have a vague idea, and it definitely deals with a future after we’ve “mucked things up with the error of our current ways.” I won’t give up, I’ll just add it to the heaping where are my minutes pile.
SpaceAgeSage: Thanks Lori. I’m excited to write it. Maybe early next year, I’ll sit down and spend real time with it. I hope to have an outline by the end of November.
Janice: That’s so awesome that you knew that was Dubai. It’s funny, because I was searching for a good picture of Dubai, simply because it has the best futuristic skyline that isn’t photoshopped. Seeing it covered in clouds was gravy.
Dave: Thanks. I’ll have more. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Marelisa: Thanks, Mare. We need the sour to taste the sweet. A life without peaks or valleys is dull indeed.
Vered: Wow, V. That was like a pat on the back, standing on a compliment, stacked on an accolade. Thank you ever so much. It’s settled then. Next Friday, RedBook part II.
Hi Sean,
I really got into that. It sounds like it could be a great piece of science fiction. I hope to see it completed and on my bookshelf one day.
Chase Marchs last blog post..Creative Insight
Hi Sean,
I really got into that. It sounds like it could be a great piece of science fiction. I hope to see it completed and on my bookshelf one day.
Chase Marchs last blog post..Creative Insight
You remind me of me. Writing now while the kids are finally asleep and my wife’s been telling me to go upstairs are write for years, too. Anyway, good to find this site. Keep it up. Check out my fledgling blog here if you have a minute… http://duluonzo.blogspot.com/
PJs last blog post..excert from my novel "A Series of Hopes"
You remind me of me. Writing now while the kids are finally asleep and my wife’s been telling me to go upstairs are write for years, too. Anyway, good to find this site. Keep it up. Check out my fledgling blog here if you have a minute… http://duluonzo.blogspot.com/
PJs last blog post..excert from my novel "A Series of Hopes"
Hmmm….This sounds like the same chip they’re already implanting in Managers’ heads at the Widget Factory where I work.
But more seriously, the theme here seems so out of character with what you usually write on your blog.
Writer Dad and Sci-Fi? Who’d a thunk it?
But I like it…I LIKE IT!
Hmmm….This sounds like the same chip they’re already implanting in Managers’ heads at the Widget Factory where I work.
But more seriously, the theme here seems so out of character with what you usually write on your blog.
Writer Dad and Sci-Fi? Who’d a thunk it?
But I like it…I LIKE IT!
Hmmm….This sounds like the same chip they’re already implanting in Managers’ heads at the Widget Factory where I work.
But more seriously, the theme here seems so out of character with what you usually write on your blog.
Writer Dad and Sci-Fi? Who’d a thunk it?
But I like it…I LIKE IT!
Sean, this is really excellent, and very engrossing – I want more! And, reading it – I drawn in by the social aspects of this Primotion chip – and what, really it takes away from people – I’m thinking this all plays a key role in the whole book. And, like Marelisa, I wouldn’t do it – re: the chip. The peaks and valleys, we need them both – to have our heart ache, and our heart soar. Anyway, your writing continues to draw me in…
Lances last blog post..Thanks For The Cookie
Sean, this is really excellent, and very engrossing – I want more! And, reading it – I drawn in by the social aspects of this Primotion chip – and what, really it takes away from people – I’m thinking this all plays a key role in the whole book. And, like Marelisa, I wouldn’t do it – re: the chip. The peaks and valleys, we need them both – to have our heart ache, and our heart soar. Anyway, your writing continues to draw me in…
Lances last blog post..Thanks For The Cookie
Sean, this is really excellent, and very engrossing – I want more! And, reading it – I drawn in by the social aspects of this Primotion chip – and what, really it takes away from people – I’m thinking this all plays a key role in the whole book. And, like Marelisa, I wouldn’t do it – re: the chip. The peaks and valleys, we need them both – to have our heart ache, and our heart soar. Anyway, your writing continues to draw me in…
Lances last blog post..Thanks For The Cookie
Chase: I have to admit, Chase. I think you gave my favorite compliment of the day.
Thanks a LOT.
Friar: Dude, I like it all. I just want to spend my life making stuff up. It’s a cool way to carve a living.
Lance: Primotion chip = NO WAY JOSE. Thanks for liking it. I”ll hit another excerpt next Friday.
Chase: I have to admit, Chase. I think you gave my favorite compliment of the day.
Thanks a LOT.
Friar: Dude, I like it all. I just want to spend my life making stuff up. It’s a cool way to carve a living.
Lance: Primotion chip = NO WAY JOSE. Thanks for liking it. I”ll hit another excerpt next Friday.
You’ve just reminded me that I was going to put up an excerpt of mine, even though I only have a piddly 4290 words. *sigh* I feel like I’m fighting with my novel, like I have to drag it by it’s hair in ten sentence little paragraphs, and they don’t even fit in any particular order. If fact, I feel as if they’re chapters away from each other and I can’t fit them together. *double sigh*
Melissas last blog post..Inspiration and Purpose
You’ve just reminded me that I was going to put up an excerpt of mine, even though I only have a piddly 4290 words. *sigh* I feel like I’m fighting with my novel, like I have to drag it by it’s hair in ten sentence little paragraphs, and they don’t even fit in any particular order. If fact, I feel as if they’re chapters away from each other and I can’t fit them together. *double sigh*
Melissas last blog post..Inspiration and Purpose
Very interesting storyline you have here. I’ve been recently reading more sci-fi stuff myself and feel drawn to some of the things you’ve mentioned here in your story. Yes, do continue to develop it!!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Vision Board Tops Amazon’s Bestseller List?
Very interesting storyline you have here. I’ve been recently reading more sci-fi stuff myself and feel drawn to some of the things you’ve mentioned here in your story. Yes, do continue to develop it!!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Vision Board Tops Amazon’s Bestseller List?
That was just incredibly good. It was very well written, and such a pleasure to read! Thank you…
and the photo was SO intriguing. I loved it.
That was just incredibly good. It was very well written, and such a pleasure to read! Thank you…
and the photo was SO intriguing. I loved it.
A pleasure to read and now I too am looking forward to the next nibble.
When I was very young there was a book except in a magazine my mum got every month. At the end of the year you had the whole story…it was so fun for the magazine to arrive and to refresh the story and keep it going. What a nice reminder.
There are several authors on Kindle who publish a chapter a month and one can buy that chapter for $1…interesting idea…
Thank you for sharing you good word and ideas. Impressive.
Patricias last blog post..Factoid Friday: A Thank You Note to Lambie
A pleasure to read and now I too am looking forward to the next nibble.
When I was very young there was a book except in a magazine my mum got every month. At the end of the year you had the whole story…it was so fun for the magazine to arrive and to refresh the story and keep it going. What a nice reminder.
There are several authors on Kindle who publish a chapter a month and one can buy that chapter for $1…interesting idea…
Thank you for sharing you good word and ideas. Impressive.
Patricias last blog post..Factoid Friday: A Thank You Note to Lambie
Great read! Looking forward to reading more!
Great read! Looking forward to reading more!